GOTTA FIND ME
SUMMARY: This is an AU fic based in a world where there are no demons, vampires or a Slayer. Buffy has just broken up with the person she thought she was going to spend the rest of life with and now she wants to find her self in the world. But an old flame shows up and makes things much more interesting than that!
This is Spuffy story despite what it might look like in the first few chapters, and Angel lovers don't worry there won't be excessive bashing!
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I anticipate this fic being a long one, the longest I've written so far has been 27 chapters and I'm hoping to beat that this time. I've got the plot all worked out and I think I'm really gonna enjoy writing this.
So if you enjoy reading then please, please, review. I'm really easily disheartened so when no-one reviews I start to think that I shouldn't carry on writing. Any thoughts and ideas are always welcome, and if I use an idea I'll credit you.
Anyway on with story....
CHAPTER ONE - 'I DON'T UNDERSTAND'
Buffy Summers sat on the double bed in her room in total darkness shedding the last of the tears she had to cry. Her eyes were red, sore and she was completely emotionally exhausted but she couldn't sleep no matter how much she wanted to.
If she slept then for eight hours it wouldn't be real. She couldn't even begin to think about what she would do now, if she didn't have him then she didn't have anything.
***FLASHBACK***
Buffy and Angel were half sitting half lying on the sofa in Buffy's living room watching something mind-numbing on the television. Buffy lifted her head from Angel's chest and leant up to kiss him, he kissed her back but she got the impression that he didn't really want to.
She lay her head back on his chest and thought about what was happening to their relationship. She had always been known for being melodramatic and over imaginative but she was sure that she wasn't imagining it he didn't love her anymore.
"You don't love me anymore." The words were out of her mouth before she even had chance to run them by her brain.
She continued to stare at the Destiny's Child documentary that was blaring from the television.
"I do," Buffy sighed with relief it was just her imagination after all, "Just not like that anymore." Angel concluded.
Shock ran through her body, had he really just said what she thought he did? Buffy stood up and left the room.
It was over.
***END FLASHBACK***
Buffy tossed and turned under the covers trying desperately to forget the memories of what had happened that afternoon out of her head and all the time the fingers on her right hand were stroking her engagement ring.
"Oh this isn't working." Buffy said to herself with a deep sigh as she grabbed Mr. Gordo and turned on the lamp.
She looked down at the pink stuffed pig that Angel had given her when they started dating, the pink stuffed pig that felt like her only friend in the world now.
"What am I gonna do now?" She sobbed with fresh tears running down her face.
She felt lost all over again just like she had done when she was younger before her and Angel had gotten together.
"It's three days after my twenty-first birthday and he just decides that he isn't romantically in love with me anymore, without any prior warning!" Buffy said her voice getting angrier and angrier with each word.
"I don't understand, what did I do wrong? I wish he's have told me." Were the last words she sobbed out before she finally got some peace and feel asleep.
~***~
The next morning Buffy woke up early, she rolled over and stretched her arm out searching for her lover. Then she remembered the day before and she was angry that her mind had betrayed her like that.
"I'm gonna call him." She said in a resolute voice whilst staring at her cell phone.
She picked it up scrolled to his name in the phone book and held her finger over the call button for a moment unsure as to whether she really should call him. Before she could over think the idea she pressed the green call button.
"Hi it's me, Buffy."
"I know, how are you?" His voice seemed genuinely concerned for her.
"Not so good." She replied.
"Oh." That was the only answer Angel could find because he knew that her pain was because of him and there was nothing he could do to help her.
"I need you to tell me why. Is there someone else?" She asked timidly scared to death of the answer he might give.
"There's no one else, I don't know why I just don't feel that way about you any longer." He answered.
Buffy paused, she was angry at him for not giving her answers. It was answers that could possibly sooth the pain.
"What I am I meant to do now Angel?" She shouted.
"What do you mean?"
"You know what my life was like before you, you know how I was. You changed all that for me, you changed me and you made me normal. So what do I do now go back to the way I was before?" She said with a venomous tone to her voice.
"You can be anything you want to be Buffy."
TBC.
SUMMARY: This is an AU fic based in a world where there are no demons, vampires or a Slayer. Buffy has just broken up with the person she thought she was going to spend the rest of life with and now she wants to find her self in the world. But an old flame shows up and makes things much more interesting than that!
This is Spuffy story despite what it might look like in the first few chapters, and Angel lovers don't worry there won't be excessive bashing!
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I anticipate this fic being a long one, the longest I've written so far has been 27 chapters and I'm hoping to beat that this time. I've got the plot all worked out and I think I'm really gonna enjoy writing this.
So if you enjoy reading then please, please, review. I'm really easily disheartened so when no-one reviews I start to think that I shouldn't carry on writing. Any thoughts and ideas are always welcome, and if I use an idea I'll credit you.
Anyway on with story....
CHAPTER ONE - 'I DON'T UNDERSTAND'
Buffy Summers sat on the double bed in her room in total darkness shedding the last of the tears she had to cry. Her eyes were red, sore and she was completely emotionally exhausted but she couldn't sleep no matter how much she wanted to.
If she slept then for eight hours it wouldn't be real. She couldn't even begin to think about what she would do now, if she didn't have him then she didn't have anything.
***FLASHBACK***
Buffy and Angel were half sitting half lying on the sofa in Buffy's living room watching something mind-numbing on the television. Buffy lifted her head from Angel's chest and leant up to kiss him, he kissed her back but she got the impression that he didn't really want to.
She lay her head back on his chest and thought about what was happening to their relationship. She had always been known for being melodramatic and over imaginative but she was sure that she wasn't imagining it he didn't love her anymore.
"You don't love me anymore." The words were out of her mouth before she even had chance to run them by her brain.
She continued to stare at the Destiny's Child documentary that was blaring from the television.
"I do," Buffy sighed with relief it was just her imagination after all, "Just not like that anymore." Angel concluded.
Shock ran through her body, had he really just said what she thought he did? Buffy stood up and left the room.
It was over.
***END FLASHBACK***
Buffy tossed and turned under the covers trying desperately to forget the memories of what had happened that afternoon out of her head and all the time the fingers on her right hand were stroking her engagement ring.
"Oh this isn't working." Buffy said to herself with a deep sigh as she grabbed Mr. Gordo and turned on the lamp.
She looked down at the pink stuffed pig that Angel had given her when they started dating, the pink stuffed pig that felt like her only friend in the world now.
"What am I gonna do now?" She sobbed with fresh tears running down her face.
She felt lost all over again just like she had done when she was younger before her and Angel had gotten together.
"It's three days after my twenty-first birthday and he just decides that he isn't romantically in love with me anymore, without any prior warning!" Buffy said her voice getting angrier and angrier with each word.
"I don't understand, what did I do wrong? I wish he's have told me." Were the last words she sobbed out before she finally got some peace and feel asleep.
~***~
The next morning Buffy woke up early, she rolled over and stretched her arm out searching for her lover. Then she remembered the day before and she was angry that her mind had betrayed her like that.
"I'm gonna call him." She said in a resolute voice whilst staring at her cell phone.
She picked it up scrolled to his name in the phone book and held her finger over the call button for a moment unsure as to whether she really should call him. Before she could over think the idea she pressed the green call button.
"Hi it's me, Buffy."
"I know, how are you?" His voice seemed genuinely concerned for her.
"Not so good." She replied.
"Oh." That was the only answer Angel could find because he knew that her pain was because of him and there was nothing he could do to help her.
"I need you to tell me why. Is there someone else?" She asked timidly scared to death of the answer he might give.
"There's no one else, I don't know why I just don't feel that way about you any longer." He answered.
Buffy paused, she was angry at him for not giving her answers. It was answers that could possibly sooth the pain.
"What I am I meant to do now Angel?" She shouted.
"What do you mean?"
"You know what my life was like before you, you know how I was. You changed all that for me, you changed me and you made me normal. So what do I do now go back to the way I was before?" She said with a venomous tone to her voice.
"You can be anything you want to be Buffy."
TBC.