Chapter One

A/N This is my first Reylo fic and it takes off right after TLJ. I hope you enjoy it. I'll try to update weekly, or sooner if possible.

The Bond is Still There

Rey

I fidgeted with the tools trying to get the kyber crystal out of the mutilated lightsaber without breaking it. Somehow the crystal had survived the explosion and I'd need it if I was going to construct a new saber for myself, not that I had any idea how to do that. Hopefully the ancient texts would have instructions in them.

I jabbed the edge of my screw driver into the edge of the chamber. The kyber crystal flung out, cascaded across the table, and landed on the floor a few feet away from me. Grumbling under my breath, I got up and picked the blue crystal up from the floor. Light headiness filled me. I must have gotten up too quickly. Funny how I'd felt fine until I'd sat down. The events of the day washed over me like a wave. My body was sore from head to toe. My heart was torn.

I swallowed hard as Ben's plea entered my mind.

I want you to join me. Please.

He'd been so sincere. I'd gotten a glimpse into his mind during his moment of weakness. He saw me as his equal, someone that he wanted, no needed to rule the galaxy with. When I'd lifted my hand a part of me had wanted to place it in his. Could I have changed things if I had? I had no idea. I guess I never would now. Deep down I knew I'd made the right choice. The galaxy didn't need one ruler to dictate it. It needed leadership and representatives. It needed someone to crack down on backwater planets like Jakku so that children didn't grow up the way I had and to stop stealing children from their families so they didn't have to grow up the way Finn had.

"What happened to your lightsaber?"

I jumped at the intrusion, a movement that had my muscles screaming in protest. My eyes darted to the door recognizing Poe. I sighed and slumped back down in the chair. Poe stared at me, my pain must not have gone unnoticed because he closed the distance and put his hand on the back of my chair.

"You okay?"

I offered him the best smile I could muster. On the outside I'd faired pretty well. The cut on my arm I'd stitched up myself and I'd smeared some bacta over it and the abrasions on my forehead "Yeah. Just tired but I couldn't sleep out here so..." I trailed off and picked up one piece of the destroyed saber. I'd been trying to sleep in one of the chairs here at the table but I just couldn't get comfortable no matter how hard I tried.

Desperate for sleep.

Ben's words filled my head again. Sleep wasn't my friend. It wasn't his either. The things we had in common were astounding. He understood me like no one else did, and like it or not, I understood him too. If anyone knew what true and utter loneliness was more than I did it was him.

"How'd that happen?" Poe asked taking the seat next to me and inclining his head at the broken saber.

I gulped looking at the saber. It was odd. On Starkiller Base it had come to me with ease and back then I hadn't even known what I was doing. Today it had struggled as Ben and I had until it had broken in two and exploded sending both Ben and I flying across the room and leaving us unconscious. Did that mean the saber sensed the light in him? That perhaps it was choosing him because it was part of his family? It had belonged to his grandfather, a Sith, but it had belonged to him before he'd fallen to darkness. If I was right, then that would mean Ben was closer to the light than he had been just a few weeks ago. Maybe it had something to do with our force bond. A bond that no one knew about and I couldn't even begin to explain. Part of me hoped the bond was over now that Snoke was gone so that way I wouldn't have to explain it to them. The other part didn't want to let it go. The connection with Ben had changed the way I saw him. He was no longer a monster in a mask. He was…I didn't have words to explain that either.

Chewie was the only one who knew about my trip to see Ben and thankfully he hadn't really asked any questions. No one else knew and I wasn't sure how to tell them what had happened. Leia was the only other one on the Falcon that was Force sensitive, but Ben was also her son, which would make for an awkward conversation at best. I didn't think anyone else would understand. I didn't even understand the bond, the connection we shared. But if Snoke was right, and he'd been the one to bridge our minds, than the bond should be over now, right?

I recalled Ben's face on Crait. Maybe that had been a lingering effect and it was the last time I'd see him. My heart lurched painfully at the thought. He'd seemed so vulnerable and regretful and I'd shut the door on him. Tears pricked my eyes. We'd both made mistakes today, and we'd have to live with them. I just hoped the next time I saw him wasn't on the battlefield. That we would have a chance to talk before we had to fight each other. A fight was where we were headed though, wasn't it? What other choice did we have? There had to be another way, at least I hoped there was. But now that I really thought about it, Ben Solo couldn't just walk back into the Resistance. It'd be the same as me joining him to rule the galaxy, it just wasn't going to happen.

"Rey?" Poe's voice pulled me out of my thoughts.

I shook my head to clear my mind realizing I'd never answered his question. "Kylo Ren and I happened." I sighed and picked up the two pieces. The crystal was out but I still had no idea how I was going to fix it.

"Because you killed Snoke?" Poe asked.

"Huh?" I asked with a frown. I hadn't said anything about him being dead, and it most definitely wasn't me that had killed him.

"There's chatter all over the radio. Snoke is dead. They're saying you killed him. Right now you're the most wanted person in the entire galaxy. Kylo Ren is the new Supreme Leader." Poe shook his head before scrubbing a hand over his face. "Leia will never admit it but it's tearing her apart. Up until today I think part of her thought her son would come home."

"She's given up hope?" Rey asked quietly.

Poe shrugged. "I'm not sure there is anything left to hold onto where he is concerned. He killed his father. Someone that can kill their own father is irredeemable."

I blew out a breath. I'd witnessed Han Solo's murder. It was an image that haunted me daily. But there was still conflict in Kylo Ren. Ben Solo was in there. I'd seen him, spoke to him, even seen into his mind. He was a confused and broken man. Anyone would be after what he'd been through. I was unable to stop the shudder that raced through me at the images I'd seen from Ben. I had no idea if he knew that I'd glimpsed them, but it was enough to terrify me. If Ben was still alive after everything Snoke had done to him, and I imagined I'd barely scratched the surface of the abuse, then there was still hope for him.

"Is it true? Is Snoke dead?" Poe asked once again drawing me from my thoughts.

I nodded. "He's dead." But it wasn't me that killed him. Ben Solo had. Then, together, we'd killed the Praetorian Guard and then he'd asked me to join him. Ben's future depended on the details of Snoke's death staying quiet so I didn't correct Poe. It wasn't that I didn't trust him, more so that I didn't want to get into the details of what exactly happened in that throne room. Maybe it was wrong of me to keep it a secret, but I knew he and Leia, everyone, would have questions. And those were questions I couldn't answer.

"You're lucky," Poe said quietly. "I'm glad you got out mostly unscathed."

I was lucky. Never in my wildest dreams had I ever imagined the raw power Snoke would have. My head still throbbed from his brutal assault on my mind. Would Kylo Ren ever become that powerful? Would I be strong enough to fight him if he did? Would we face each other on the battle field and fight to the death one day? That's not what I'd seen in my vision. It had been glimpses of the future. A future that apparently wasn't meant to be. A few of the images came racing back to me causing heat to scorch over my cheeks. How had I misinterpreted the vision so horribly?

You need a teacher.

Ben was right. I do need a teacher, now more than ever. Master Luke had given me a few lessons but not nearly enough. My heart ached as I remembered the Jedi Master. Thankfully his death had been peaceful and purposeful, but a tiny part of me wished that he was still here to guide me. The power inside me was growing stronger still, and I knew a little of what to do with, it but there was still so much more that I needed to learn.

Poe pointed to the saber. "R2 and Threepio spent a lot of time with Luke. They might be able to offer some assistance helping you with that."

The older model droids had been in the Skywalker family for years. "That's a good idea. Thanks, Poe."

"Yep. I'm here to help. So don't be afraid to ask."

I stood up a little too fast, which made me a little woozy. "I think I'm going to go get some sleep, but I'll be sure to talk to them in the morning."

"There is a bunk free 3rd door on your right. I drew the night shift so it's all yours," Poe said nodding at me.

"Thanks." It'd be nice to have some place to sleep. Maybe I could fall asleep if I was laying down.

"Good night," Poe said leaning back in his chair and watching me.

"Night." I offered him a smile as I collected the saber pieces and went down the corridor. The Falcon was a decent sized ship but it wasn't meant for the twenty-three of us onboard. We were all that was left of the resistance. I still had no idea how we rebuilt from here. There were so few of us now. It was frightening how many of us were gone.

Leia had hope still and that hope was contagious. She was right, I thought as I let her hope wash over me. We did have everything that we needed to build the resistance back up again. We would make it work.

I found the bunk and was surprised to see that it was a private room. I sat down on the cot and sighed, taking care to set the broken saber on a tiny end table by the bed. My eyes grew heavy but I feared sleep still wouldn't come if I laid down. My mind was still a whirlwind from everything that had transpired today. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop thinking about him.

A stirring in the room around me made me glance up. The room shifted and I gasped as I felt the Force opening the force bond. Blinking, I stood up as Ben appeared before me.

He stared at me for a long moment not speaking.

I closed my eyes and let his emotions wash over me in an attempt to get a feel for what he was thinking. Disappointment, loneliness, betrayal, rejection, and hurt, rolled through me before he erected some sort of wall blocking me out.

"I didn't think I'd see you through the force again," I told him softly.

"Yeah, me either," he said staring at the floor.

"Do you think it will stop now that…now that Snoke's dead?" I asked.

He glanced at me his eyes a mixture of emotions. I knew why he wore a mask now, or why he had. It wasn't just because he wanted to be like Darth Vader. His eyes, his face were so expressive. It gave away what he was thinking almost all the time. Except for in the throne room. I suppose he'd had Snoke and I both fooled there. That thought made me cautious. If he could fool me once, if he could fool someone as powerful as Snoke, then he could do it again. I needed to be careful otherwise he could exploit my compassion for him.

"I don't think it was Snoke," Ben said meeting my eyes. Something swirled in his dark brown eyes that I couldn't decipher.

"You don't?" I asked surprised. "But he said…"

"Sith lie and twist the truth to get what they want, Rey. Don't ever forget that."

I swallowed hard, telling myself I needed to remember that especially since it sounded like a warning. Though, Ben had never lied to me. He did have an uncanny ability of making me realize the truth, even if it was a truth I didn't really want to realize like my parents. Part of me wished I could bury the truth away again and forget all about it. The other part of me knew I was better off knowing the truth so I could stop looking for a family that hadn't cared about me.

Ben looked around like he was trying to take in my surroundings. I glanced around too wondering if he could see more than just me. I could only see him, but what if he could see more? He was the Supreme Leader now. If he could see or hear things then I could be putting everyone on this ship in danger. I didn't want to do that. These people: Finn, Leia, the resistance were my family now.

"It was there before that," Ben said drawing me out of my thoughts.

Don't be afraid. I feel it too.

"The interrogation room," I said, understanding dawning on me. It made sense. He'd pushed into my mind and I'd pushed back. We'd opened some sort of weird telepathic force link. I wondered if we could close it. It needed to be closed, having him in my head was dangerous. We were clearly on opposites sides of a war. It was one thing when I'd thought he could be turned, but now…

His eyes narrowed on me and I could feel his anger bubbling to the surface. "You chose to be on the opposite side. You did this to us to begin with. If you hadn't of—"

"Excuse me," I cut him off taking a step toward him. There was no way I was going to let him blame me for this. "You tried to get in my head first."

His gaze flicked to mine. "If you'd have just given me what I wanted we wouldn't be here. Then you wouldn't have to worry about being burdened with this bond."

His words caught me off guard as I finally registered what he was saying. I hadn't said some of that out loud. Had he read my thoughts? I pushed back into his mind. The betrayal of my rejection and self loathing were at the forefront of his mind. I think he had. There was something else there too. Longing and loneliness.

It made my heart hurt. I knew that loneliness. The kind that kept you up at night yearning for physical contact for someone, anyone, to give you any kind of affection. I'd seen into his mind when we'd touched hands. I knew the way Snoke had tortured and isolated him while corrupting his soul. I'd only had a small dose of Snoke's power. How much had he endured?

"Maybe you're right," he said the anger gone from his voice, "Maybe we should try to close it. Or at least try and ignore it. We've both made our choices now."

"Have you?" I asked taking another step toward him. "I know there's still conflict in you. Let me help you. It's not too late."

He narrowed his eyes as he met my gaze and held it. My breath hitched and I could feel the moment our heartbeats synced together. It was like the throne room all over again. A rush of feelings and emotions swirled around me, some mine, the others his. The weight of his turmoil brought tears to my eyes. I could feel everything too, though I couldn't see his surroundings through the bond I could sense them. He was on a ship. I could feel the slight vibration of it moving beneath my feet as it drifted through hyperspace. He was still several feet away from me, but I knew if one of us closed the distance we could touch like we had on Anch-To. I fidgeted fighting with myself on whether I should reach out to comfort him or not.

Ben took a step back as if sensing my internal war. Who was I kidding, he probably did sense it. In fact he was probably reading my mind. I needed to learn how to put my own walls up to block him out as he had me.

"Yes, it is," he said.

He faded away as I opened my mouth to protest. I squeezed my eyes shut and let out a frustrated breath. There was no way I was going to fall asleep now. Ben's unstable emotions still coursed through me and it took me a minute to regain my composure.

Marching out of my room I went to the drawer I'd tucked the old Jedi books into before leaving Anch-To. I thumbed through them until I found what I was looking for, the chapter on force bonds and astral projection. It didn't take me long to figure out that Luke had projected himself to Crait. The book warned about the dangers of astral projection, stating it would most likely kill the person if sustained for too long. Clearly Ben and I's connection was not astral projection.

I flipped to the next page where it detailed force bonds. There wasn't much there on the subject. The page spoke of force users being able to speak through the force to force sensitive family and close friends even at a great distance to convey a simple message, but it said nothing about physically being there with someone, to actually being able to hold a conversation, to touch them. Did that mean that whatever was happening to Ben and I was beyond anything the Jedi had ever seen? If so, what did that mean for the two of us?

Ben had been right. This was something else. But what?