A little piece of angst ending with fluff, for a little festive cheer :D Hope there are still some Sam/Phil 'shippers out there.. it's been a while! Lots of love and merry Christmas, Kelly xx

'Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas'

Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
Let your heart be light,
Next year all our troubles will be out of sight

Sam threw a plate in exasperation, and a loud crash later all the china lay by her man's feet, having missed his head by inches. "Just piss off Philip!" she screamed, "Get out… of my face!"

"It's not my fault you're such heartless cow Sam! If you don't want me here then just say the word and I'll go!"

"Don't go out that door." She murmured to him, her anger suppressed, the tension in the room building.

"Why not? What are you gonna do about it?" he threatened, walking towards the door.

"I don't want you to go." Her voice was quiet, as if she had realised how much she actually needed him here.

"Well you didn't make that very clear did you? You have been stood there for the past twenty minutes hurling cutlery at me!"

"I'm sorry, okay, I'm sorry!" She sobbed and turned away from him, going into the kitchen.
His arms found her waist and his nose nuzzled into her hair a few minutes later. He stroked her stomach with his fingertips, which only sent her into harder, faster and more desperate sobs. She didn't want to be touched although her body was craving his strong arms around her.

"Shhh," he tried to soothe her

"You don't get it Phil! You can't make all this go away." Sam's husky voice cracked and her legs threatened to give way beneath her.

"I lost her! I lost our baby and there's nothing you can do to bring her back!"

Her tiny body convulsed softly as she let out heavy, heart-rendering sobs and her usually pale face was streaked with tears of sadness and panic.

"You what…" Phil's voice was quiet, stunned. She had been taking perfect care of this baby, it had been little under 3 months and he'd come round to the idea of being a dad- in fact, he relished it. "Oh Sam…" he pulled her close and held her tight, feeling her tears soak through his shirt but not caring in the slightest.

"I should have known Phil. I was too old, but still I had to have everything. This is my fault, I'm so, so sorry," she cried, her arms tight around his waist.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
Make the yuletide gay,
Next year all our troubles will be miles away…

"Some Christmas Eve, huh," she whispered as she lay on the sofa with her head in his lap, with him gently stroking her hair.

"Why didn't you tell me when you found out?" he asked quietly

"Part of me didn't quite believe it, and the other half didn't want to disappoint you," she closed her eyes, listening to the crackling of the fire, and his calm voice speaking into her ear.

"You couldn't disappoint me,"

"I felt like a failure. I couldn't even look after our baby; I was supposed to protect her."

"Sh-sh-shhht…" he said soft, stroking her hair slowly.

Someday soon we all will be together,
If the fates allow,
Until then we'll have to muddle through somehow...

"I'm sorry I got so angry earlier, you didn't deserve it."

"I'm sorry too. You made me break my favourite plate." She muttered, before snorting cheekily, making him jump.

"Bloody hell Sam," he laughed, before stroking her thigh,

"Phil."

"What?"

"Not tonight."

"The thigh-stroking is innocent." He smiled, his eyes twinkling at her.

She smiled back a moment before remembering why she had been so sad. Her chin trembled and she sniffed, holding tight to him.

The tree in the corner of the room twinkled every so often, the lights upon it sparkling and changing colour, catching the clear baubles and tinting them the colours of the rainbow. The fire crackled slowly as it flickered in the fireplace, warming the room, and the frost collected on the windows. Sam's eyes opened and she turned slightly, leaning up and kissing Phil's lips tenderly before snuggling her head into his stomach. She had accepted that this was it; she was his and he was hers, and that was how it would stay. She had her Abi, and he had Alfie and Maddison; they didn't need any more. Both were content with their lot.

So have yourself a merry little Christmas, now

Merry Christmas guys and happy new year xx