Title: Set me free
Author: Elizabeth
Word Count: 1270
Pairing: Harmon Rabb Jr./Other and Harmon Rabb Jr./Sarah Mackenzie
Disclaimer: I don't own 'em
Author's Note: I wrote this in response to a challenge by my good friend Demelza. All mistakes are mine. Feel free to review, unless you are gonna blast me, then don't bother, because I don't really care.
Set Me Free
Sarah Mackenzie's POV
I pull my jacket tighter around me as I walk by the reflection pool by the Lincoln Memorial. The orange and yellow leaves on the walkway crunch under my feet with every step I take. Washington D.C. is amazing this time of the year, radiating strength, power, and pride.
All of the things that happen this time of the year, the trees changing, the weather changing, the pumpkin patches, and the apple cider. It all just feels me with such warmth and when nothing else works it calms and relaxes me.
Most of all it reminds me of him. We used to go to the pumpkin patch together every year since we met. We would stay until we found the perfect pumpkin then we would take it back to his place and carve it. We would put it out on his patio and then watch scary movies all night long and I would always end up falling asleep with his arms around me.
It won't be happening this year, not now that he has found the woman that completes him. I haven't met her yet and I can't say that I am looking forward to it. I don't want to have to meet the woman that has everything that I have wanted since I joined JAG. Everything that I shouldn't be needing and wanting, and will still be needing and wanting until I die.
He's in love with this mystery woman, of that much I am sure. His eyes light up when he talks about her. She has set him free. I am happy for him and he deserves to be happy, even if he is happy without me.
I don't know how I am going to act like all this doesn't affect me when I meet her. How am I going to give them my blessing and act like I am not in love with him? I am not going to be able to convince anyone and if I do, I will gladly except the Oscar for my performance.
I wanted to be the one he let go with, the one that made his eyes shine. I waited too long and now I'm too late. It's funny really, that he consumes me. He's all that I see when I am awake and asleep, he's all I think about during the day and all I dream about when I am sleeping. He is what kept me believing in love but now that he is taken, I know that there will never be anyone else for me.
It's hard to believe that I have known him for almost nine years. It seems like just yesterday that we were in the rose garden shaking hands for the first time. I was a goner then and over the years I just fell deeper in love with him. He found his way into my heart and took me by surprise.
There has been a little boy with his smile and his eyes in my mind since we made the deal. I used to wonder what he would say if I wanted to up the time table, but I got over that when I learned about my condition. Even if I hadn't then I would have now. It doesn't keep me from seeing that little boy though.
I wonder now who I am going to go to when stuff is bothering me or when I get myself into dangerous situations. Who am I going to talk about everything and nothing to for hours now? Who am I going to go to to give me that pep talk before court now?
I wish I could go back and tell him everything that is in my heart and all the things that I left unsaid.
I would give anything to be able to look into his beautiful green eyes and see all the love I feel for him looking back at me. My life has been full of regrets, why not add another to the pile?
I can have a gun pointed at me or be held captive by terrorists and be perfectly fine, but when it comes to him I become a coward. I choke on the words that I want to say. He will never know now.
I could always go tell him now, there might be a chance that he feels the same way. I would only be kidding myself though. I don't stand a chance and I couldn't do that to a woman that I don't know. I am not that kind of person and no one deserves to have there world torn apart, not even the woman that has taken everything from me.
I hope that she gives him everything that I haven't been able to and never takes him for granted. She has no idea how lucky she is. He is like a little piece of heaven, so perfect.
Even now as my heart is breaking I wish him all the happiness in the world. I hope that he gets everything that he wishes for and everything that he wants. I hope he has children that grow up to be as honorable and courageous as he is, and they will no doubt.
When I get home all the pictures and reminders of him will be packed away in a box that will end up in the back of my closet and I will move on. It will take time but my heart will heal and I may find someone that I can grow old with and that I will love with all my heart.
I walk over to the steps of the Lincoln Memorial and take a seat. As I look out over the reflection pool and the other memorials, a peace settles over me. Goodbye Harmon Rabb. I love you and always will.
I stand to walk back to my car when my eyes find him. His green eyes staring at me from a few feet away. I am shocked to see him here. I can't help falling into his eyes, deeper and deeper I go.
"Hey," I say to him when I find my voice.
"Hey yourself." I smile at that.
"How'd you find me?" I look down at the ground now.
"I always know where you are, Mac." I look at him and raise an eyebrow questioning him.
"What would your new girl think about that?"
"She isn't my girl yet., but I don't think she would mind at all."
"She sounds really great, Harm. Where'd you meet her?"
"She really is great. I have known her for a while." And I haven't met her? Maybe we aren't as close as I thought.
"Oh." He walks closer to me and grabs my hand.
"Mac, look at me." He lifts my chin with his fingers.
"It's you. It's always been you." He smiles that fly boy smile and just like that my heart is whole again.
Tears fall down my cheeks and I smile the first time in what seems like weeks. I wrap my arms around him and hug him for the longest time.
"It's me?" I ask him when I pull back to look in his eyes.
"I love you, Sarah." My lips find his in a tender, mind blowing kiss.
"I love you too." And just like that I am flying higher than I ever have. All the questions that I have can wait until later. Right now I just want to stay here and focus on this amazing man in my arms.
So this is what it is like to be set free?
Author's Note 2: If you did like this, please review. It encourages me and makes me want to do better. I will reply to all of those that do review. Thanks!