Theodosia writes me a letter everyday
I'm keeping her bed warm while her husband is away...
"I can't do this anymore", Rey Dameron murmured, with her eyes on the ceiling. Next to her, lies Ben Solo, hands behind his head as he sighs. "Do what?"
"This..." she gestures to the space between them, "whatever this is supposed to be, I- I can't keep doing this".
Ben exhaled deeply, as he gets up. "Why?"
"You and I both know exactly why", Rey timidly looks away, afraid to even look at him anymore.
"Do you, Rey? Do you really?" It came out much harsher than Ben had intended it to be, but it was annoying to keep it in. "What was it that you told me the other day? Oh that's right, you said it was the last time. Well look at where we are now, Rey. In the bed where you and your precious husband once shared"
The unrecognizable sounds of sniveling were heard. Ben felt the blanket being tugged back with the sudden coldness at his legs. Probably being used to cover herself up. It's not like I haven't seen anything before, he thought. "I mean it now", she cried, "No more. This time, it will be the last"
"Really? What makes this any different, huh?"
"Because..." she says, "I love him"
*******************************************
He's on the British side on Georgia
He's trying to keep the colonies in line
Well he can keep all of Georgia
Theodosia, she's mine...
"I love Poe. With all my heart", sniffing, Rey wiped the trickling tears on her face, "and even though he loves to tease around with others... he would never give up on me. And... I don't want to be that unfaithful person instead. If so, he deserves better- more than me. He's a good man"
Poe Dameron indeed was a good man, not even Ben Solo could deny that. To be perfectly honest, Ben felt Poe's efforts and contributions, as one of the galaxy's best and most charming pilots - though Ben Solo, son of the Han Solo, would like to disagree - to the Republic were far more effective than any of his. After the victorious war with the First Order, Poe had been promoted to Ambassador of the Republic - but still a pilot, to which he and Rey tied the knot few days after.
Though the two are happily married, timing had not been so perfect for them.
With his new found position, Poe had been attending many meetings with senators, royalty and councils, which in turn causes him to be absent from Rey often.
Ben couldn't care less of Poe's ascension for greatness - his main concern was of Rey. With Poe gone, he could have Rey all to himself.
However, that doesn't change the fact of his cowardice of proposing to her first, or even to confess that he loves her from the start.
*******************************************
Love doesn't discriminate
Between the sinners and the saints
It takes and it takes and it takes
And we keep loving anyway
We laugh and we cry
And we break and we make our mistakes
And if there's a reason I'm by her side
When so many have tried
Love is fickle. When someone has fallen in love, they either grow stronger than they were before, or hit rock bottom, becoming as vulnerable as can be. Maybe that's why Ben fell in love with Rey. She was his very strength, but also his core weakness. Did he even deserve to love? Doesn't it only happens with those of pure heart? I guess not...
"I just... it's just so selfish of me, and I-", Rey paused, stuck with the words trapped in her throat. "I- I can't keep thinking about myself... and I always try to... to forget but- I just can't".
Ben couldn't believe his eyes. Here was Rey Dameron, formerly know as Rey Kenobi, the savior of them all, the hope and determination that lived on every being's heart... and she was crying. She was crying because she was afraid. Afraid of a little affair.
"It's not just an affair, Ben" she spoke. "This is... so much more"
"I thought I said never to read my mind"
Rey looks back at him. "I'm sorry, I was- You're... I'm a terrible person... I just..."
"Stop that", taking her face into his hands, Ben scowled at her. "No more tears, Rey. We both know this isn't like you at all. You, a scavenger from Jakku, abandoned there when you were just a child. You could have been afraid right then, but did that stop you? No. You never let that pull you down".
"Now I've seen you single handedly defeat Snoke, one of the galaxies' most feared beings there is. You fought in a war, Rey, against The First Order. Did that take away your will... your light?"
Rey bit her lip, as she looked down from the intense gaze of Ben. "No?"
Unsatisfied with her tone, Ben shook his head, "No, you did not. You remained strong. Snoke would always try to manipulate you, as he did with me once... before he found out I was nothing like my uncle and grandfather. Unlike me, you would always push it all back, and never fail to stop conquering your fears. You wanna know why?"
"Why?"
"Because it was the right thing to do. Even now... you did what was right". Realizing her doubt, Ben sighed, "I should have said, or done something, at the very least, right from the beginning. Yet, I took advantage of you instead. I took advantage of your loneliness... your kindness... your heart..."
Smirking, Ben continued, "I guess I do take after my dad more. Being a smuggler and all, we do what we smugglers do best. Taking things from others unlawfully".
"But Ben..." Rey placed her hand on his arm.
"No", rising up, Ben went to gather his scattered clothes, "This time I won't make the same mistakes".
Rey watched him carefully. What was she to do? Continue this... entanglement with the man that has long ensnared her soul? Or end it and be the loving and loyal wife that she should be, with the man that has captured her spirit. And what about-
"When are you planning to tell Poe the truth of Alexander? Doesn't he have the right to know that hisown son isn't really his?" Ben nonchalantly "reminds" her, as he pulls down his shirt.
"I can't", Rey replied. "Poe loves Lex too much now. If he does finds out about this... I... I cannot afford him another heartbreak"
Ben sighed. "He'll find out eventually. This... and Alexander. If you won't tell him, I will. I'm tired of delaying the inevitable. Either we both say what we must, or never see each other again". Grabbing his gun, Ben made his way out.
But not without a flash of memory of his adolescent years when a promise was made. Years may pass on, with turns of events and many obstacles. Yet that never broke his faith in it.
"Promise me Ben", a little ball of sunlight beamed, with her pinky out. "Promise me that we'll together forever. No matter what"
Back to the present, a ghost of a smile appeared on his face. "Of course, Rey. For you, anything". He looked back to the door with one last sigh. "Even if I have to wait for it"
Then I'm willing to wait for it
Wait for it...