AN: I own nothing.
His mind was scattering. He was losing his grip on the world and he knew it. His moments were limited. Each of his memories flowed through his mind beyond his control, bottled up emotions bursting through the seams. He saw himself walking amongst his friends at the start of their journey once again. When doubts and lies had filled his head.
'Don't get too attached.' The thought had reverberated through his head in the passing moment. 'It's not like that,' he'd reasserted.' I'm only using them for my own means. They're simply convenient, nothing more.' But with each passing day, and journey traveled, those threads had begun to tighten. Slowly, yet surely, they'd fastened around his heart. An indescribable yet unmistakeable feeling. And as much as he'd told himself otherwise, it had been there to stay.
Traveling with a new group of people had never been a part of his plan. And yet... he couldn't say that he disliked it. Because after all, his happiest days were during a similar time. When it was just him and his best friend, Larfarga, crossing the world with the Windriders. Being humans, the Windriders were never aware of his presence, of course. But that hadn't mattered to the two wind seraphs. They'd had each other, and although they had no means to communicate, that vagabond group of humans were his family.
And now...? With Sorey's group? He'd grit his teeth and choked back the idea. 'No matter how nostalgic it is, it's just not the same.' Except for one member of course, one whom he'd known all along. Rose. As she'd been a part of the Windriders, he'd see her grow up through the years. And then...
At this point he'd tipped his hat slightly lower, shielding his unseeing eyes. He didn't even know where to begin with her. If the others were lines of a fishing pole, she was the hook. Sunk further than anything else.
In the Windriders he'd felt connected to her. But after he'd lost Lafarga everything had changed. After that hellion had killed him. The one with the purple hair and the cruel smile... Or...? Whenever he thought of it his head started to hurt. He could only conjure up fragments, his friend, Rose, the one with the purple hair... Distorted as they were, it was all he had to go on. It was too painful to try and remember. The key points were still crystal clear.
His best friend had been killed. And the one called Symmone had been there. That was when his whole life shattered. And the fact that the Windriders were planning to settle in the city of Pendrago only added salt to the wound. His journeying would be over. The humans never knew he was there to begin with. He'd never speak to his friend again. He was completely and utterly alone.
And that was when he'd decided to act. Symmone would pay, that was the first thing that he'd been sure of. He'd find a way to avenge his friend. Although he hadn't the slightest idea how to kill a hellion. He would find a way. And he would do it by his own hand.
The second thing was between the Windriders. He couldn't let them disband. Another loss would destroy him. They were going to stay together, no matter the consequences. The ends justified the means... or so he'd thought.
Ultimately Rose became his puppet. And as her marionette he'd control the strings, pushing her in the directions he saw fit. Her resonance was exceptionally high for a human, and because of that he could manipulate her. And the idea sparked in his mind that perhaps she was the key. If he perfected her resonance, maybe he could use that power to kill the hellion. 'What you're doing is unforgivable.' the voice would say. Yet he'd brushed it aside, 'All that matters is my revenge. I won't let anything stand in my way. Not even her.'
By his hand, the Windriders became a merchants group by day, and an assassins group by night. The Sparrowfeathers, and the Scattered Bones, respectively. He'd been able to keep them together in the end. And Rose became their leader, completely oblivious to the fact it was all his doing. She probably thought it was through her strength alone... It didn't matter. At the very least he still had his group, and Rose was becoming his ultimate weapon.
'I can't let anything happen to her,' he'd think. If anyone so much as crossed her, he'd be stricken with worry, ready to unleash his powers at the first sign of danger. Constantly he was by her side, fighting on her behalf. He couldn't bare to leave her out of his metaphorical sight.
One time as he was running after her on an assassination mission, he'd stopped. 'What are you doing?' he'd asked himself at the time. Nearly everything he did was for her sake. Why? Why was he doing this? What was the point? 'It's for your revenge!' he'd practically shout. But for some reason it was beginning to make his stomach churn. The self-justification no longer sat right with him.
Because it was a lie. Although it had been his true motive at the start... It had become nothing more than an excuse at this point. A defense from the feelings he didn't want to admit. The thought of losing Rose frightened him... and it was horrifying. How had he let this happen? How could he have let this vulnerability lodge itself into his being a second time? Nothing good came out of it. Only pain. And he was never going to go through that, not again.
And that was why he'd tried to distance himself from her. Why he'd repeatedly told lies to himself. But the truth seeped through his actions. Somehow his life had gravitated from his friend to Rose, and he was her silent guardian. Always watching over her. It was almost second nature by now.
There was just something about her. Something that sparked the return of happiness in his mind. And a sense of peace. And he was never going to let that spark burn out. Not ever.
The two formerly met after he'd encountered Sorey and his seraph friends. After witnessing firsthand the power of the armatus—the fusion of a human and seraph—he knew that he'd need that power. Something that powerful would surely be able to kill a hellion. And so he'd formed the pact. He became the Sub Lord of the seraph Lailah and became bound to Sorey, the Shepherd.
After forming a pact with Sorey as well, Rose was finally able to see him. She'd promptly screamed, though he didn't blame her. Discovering that there was another race of beings known as seraphim living among the humans must have been a shock. Hiding all of his emotions was perhaps the most difficult thing. After watching and protecting her for so long, it was challenging to keep them buried. But surprisingly, Rose actually liked him... And Sorey and his friends did too.
For the first time he could talk with more than one person. And those people enjoyed his company. They'd all accepted him as he was. Even after he stressed about his mission for vengeance and explained his plans to use them for his own means. They hadn't rejected him.
As they went on many travels together the voice would persist. 'Don't get attached. They're a distraction. You have to stop this.' But he'd ignore it as best he could. Before he could stop it, the five of them became his new family.
Sorey with his lighthearted spirit... Mikleo with his unwavering loyalty... Lailah with her ridiculous jokes (which actually made him chuckle, as he was embarrassed to admit)... Edna with her sharp tongue... And then there was Rose. Rose who he knew so well. If only she knew the truth... The way he'd treated her had been truly despicable... If she ever found out, she'd most likely hate him... And honestly, he'd deserve it.
Rose... was amazing. She was by far the most remarkable human he knew. Wily, and strong-hearted, and full of compassion. And yet she maintained the stomach to kill, but she never once complained about her job as an assassin. She went with the flow of life, and could persevere through any challenge. He truly admired her.
When they were together he felt so at ease. Like the void in his life was gone in those brief exchanges. He felt safe, they'd always have each others backs if they ever needed it. Her initial fear of him had melted away, and her voice no longer quavered when they conversed. And it didn't take long for her to be able to see through him. He'd underestimated her in that regard.
She began to pick up on his mannerisms. How she'd point out the local fauna to him after recognizing his love for animals. When he'd say the opposite of how he felt, she seemed to know. Every time he put up a wall she'd have a quiet understanding. Eventually their unspoken connection had evolved even further.
In battles their minds were like one, seamlessly reading the others intents. They fought as cohesively as Sorey and Mikleo did. As a team, they overcame each others strengths and weaknesses. He was the thorn to her rose.
They'd become so comfortable with each other. Sometimes he'd feel and elbow to his side as she tried to get a smile out of him. Or jump onto his back and try to snatch his hat. And in all honesty he didn't even mind. When they were together he almost forgot about wanting nothing but revenge.
When he was with his new friends he smiled more, and laughed. If things had remained that way, he would've been happy... But then Symmone returned. And she'd told him the truth about the Windriders. About how his cursed blessing had created the hellion who'd killed his friend.
Everything he'd done had been pointless. Looking for Symmone, using Rose, seeking the power to kill a hellion. All of it. His life had been an utter waste.
But then Symmone had grabbed Rose in her weakened state, and as he lay dying, he knew what he had to do. Sacrificing himself for Rose's sake, was the one thing that felt right. He couldn't let his precious flower wilt away, he wouldn't let her die to become a hellion. He knew he wouldn't survive but it didn't matter, so long as Rose would be safe.
Golden light had glowed around them, as he found Rose amidst the growing malevolence. And he used his power to pull her from away from the hellion who sought to taint her.
In that fleeting moment light had returned to his eyes. For the first time he could truly see Rose as she was. He'd only ever sensed her by feeling the wind in the past. Slight shifts in the air which he recognized easily, the ways she moved which were unique to her. The shuffle he knew which indicated her hand-on-hip pose. The quiet sound of her footsteps as she approached him. Her sharp voice and laughter which soothed him...
But with or without sight, the fact remained that she held beauty. Her strawberry red hair, bright blue eyes, her soft face... She'd never deserved being treated as a tool. He should have let her live with the Windriders in Pendrago. She would have married the prince and found happiness. Rose should have been anyone but an assassin. But his selfishness had got in the way. The hook she held on his heart stabbed through him. "I'm so sorry... It was me.. I caused you... and everyone to suffer..." he'd said.
"Really? That's what's been bugging you? As far as I'm concerned, these have been the happiest years of my life." Rose had replied. Even after the truth had been revealed, nothing had changed. She still looked at him with unwavering eyes. Not even a hint of judgment.
Rose had done so much for him, and she didn't know. In fact no one did. He'd always been so withdrawn, hiding his true feelings, even from himself. But she had to know."I'm eternally grateful to you, Rose, thank you." he'd declared. "And you tell Sorey and the others that everything wasn't so bad. Take care of yourself."
"I will!" she'd said.
As he'd turned to her with a rare full toothed smile, he'd felt the tears. While the last of his memories began to slip away, he could only hope that Rose had known how he felt. As she had been so good at reading him, she must have known. He'd cared deeply for each of his newfound friends, and despite all of his complaints he'd enjoyed their time together. Although he'd made countless mistakes, at least he'd done one good thing in his life. He'd saved the person he truly loved, and that was all that mattered. His flower would continue to grow and blossom, and he'd find her again amongst the wind. The last thought he held onto was Rose's sweet smile before his mind scattered like petals in a breeze.
AN: Thanks for reading! I'm forever crying over Dezel's death. ;-;