Welcome to this fic, although we don't know why you even clicked the link.

Note: This is not meant to be offensive in any way to siamese twins. If u spot something rude please inform us so we may change it.

WARNING: this fic contains a lot of idiocity.

Twas the 81st Hunger Games reaping (for it turned out that Katniss and gang actually suck at rebellions and Snow was actually alive and it was his twin who died instead so the Hunger Games were still going).

Boris looked at the factory and wished she were inside it, instead of out here in the reaping. No one liked working, but the reaping was worse.

"This sucks," she said to her twin sister, Moris, who stood next to her. "I wish they would hurry up. I'm so nervous.."

The Escort, who had a really long name that no one could remember, tapped on the microphone.

"Welcum lads and lasses." He said with an indecipherable accent. "Time fer the reaping."

Moris rolled her eyes at Boris, eager to get the reaping over with. Besides, no one could stand Mr Escort's voice. It was just so… chirpy.

"Lasses first!" The escort pranced over to the female's bowl and plucked one paper out.

"It should be fine, our names are only in there 4 times each." Moris whispered.

The escort opened the dreaded paper and leant into the microphone.

"Boris Turner," Everyone's heads turned to the twin.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" Moris Turner raged. "HOW DO YOU EXPECT US TO GO INTO THE GAMES? WE'RE SIAMESE TWINS!"

Boris and Morris glared at everyone who looked at their bodies that were joined by their entire side from the shoulders downwards, with the former on the right and Moris on the left. Because of this, they had a third leg which they both shared and only one arm each.

The Peacekeepers came forward and pushed them forward towards the stage. With a little difficulty, they climbed it and stood silently next to the escort.

"And now for the lads!"

The escort beamed at the twins and then picked out a male paper.

"Lim Youngwood! "

Boris looked over at the boys section and watched as a 14 year old scrawny boy with strawberry blonde hair looked at the stage in bewilderment.

"What?!" He yelled angrily. he shook his head. "No. I'm not doing it."

Several Peacekeepers strode towards him and grabbed his arms. He struggled relentlessly as they dragged him up onto the stage.

"They already have two people. You don't need to reap me anymore!"

He attempted to kick the Peacekeeper where the sun don't shine, but they hit him over the head with a baguette and promptly handcuffed him to the stage.

"Why do you even have that bread?" Lim asked angrily.

The peacekeeper got to his knees and started to sing, "That's how cartoon bread's draaaaawn."

"... I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that." Lim then screamed as he struggled. "They count as two people! They count as two!"

One Peacekeeper produced a syringe from somewhere on his person and plunged it into Lim's neck. Immediately, he calmed and his struggles became weaker and weaker.

"Rude," he managed to gasp, before whispering to himself. "They count as two people. They count as two. TWO people."

A peacekeeper rammed the but of his gun into Lim's stomach, and he became silent.

"Anyway…" the escort smiled at the crowd. "Looks like this year will be interesting!" He waved at the cameras. "This iz Persuliosianio comink to you from district 9!"

Then the cameras cut and they were taken to the Hall of Justice. It was visiting time, and the twins' maid stopped by to receive her final paycheck.

By that point, Moris had started tearing up. "I don't want to go. It's not fair. YOU were picked, not me!"

"Shhh child, it's okay," The maid said. "Now, where's my money?"

"It's in the house," Boris said glumly.

"IS ANYONE EVEN LISTENING TO ME?!" Moris yelled right into her sister's ear.

"...right in the drawer." Boris said before turning to Moris. "What was that?"

Moris sighed. "Nothing, deaf dimwit."

Next to visit was the family cat. "Meow." He said.

The twins smiled at him ruefully. "You will remember to take baths, right Mr Cat?"

The cat licked himself all over before replying. "I'm a cat, you idiots. I can't talk." He promptly left before some random peacekeeper came inside the room.

"Time's up, you must make your way to the train now."

On the train, Persuliosian (Is that how it's spelt?), the escort, introduced them to their mentors.

"Meet Aleisha," he pointed to a woman in her mid twenties who simply blinked at the tributes. "And Pea." Pea was… well… unique. He was a man around his thirties who sported a monobrow.

"PLEASE teach us what we need to know! I don't want to die in the games, I shouldn't have been picked!" Lim pleaded.

The female mentor - Aleisha - simply blinked at him for a good minute.

"Yes, please help!" Boris agreed. However, Moris was more interested in other things...

"Look! Chocolate cakes! Gasp! Mahogany tables! Look! Look out the window!" She cried attempting to stand up despite her sister weighing them down. "The world is so big!"

"Speaking of windows," Lim said. He got up and threw open the window. Then he tried to climb out. Luckily - or unluckily in his case - Pea pulled him back inside before forcefully pushing him back onto a chair.

"Why did you do that!?" Lim screamed at Pea, who calmly replied.

"You know, once I had a pet rock, but I didn't have enough money to look after it so it died. Then I won the games and got a bunch of money, so now I can have as many pet rocks as I want."

Lim frowned. "How is this relevant?"

"Because if you win the games you can have anything you want."

"Riiiight."

"How did you even win the games?" Boris asked trying to make the convo relevant.

"Well, it's a long story…" Pea then proceeded to recount his entire games to the two (or three) tributes, who barely kept awake. It took several hours.

"...And so to summarise I just never got into my elevator and then after five days I finally got inside and quickly grabbed some food and by the time I had done anything, everyone else was dead."

The tributes stared at him. "So you are basically useless to us since you didn't even properly participate in the Games."

Pea contemplated this statement for a while before replying. "Yes."

Boris sighed.

"Yah well I won the Games when I was 12 by simply doing what they do in Minecraft: dig a hole and then cover it up until everyone's dead." said Aleisha before grabbing an apple from the nearby fruit platter.

"So you're advising us to just hide?" Lim asked anxiously. "Okay, that would work."

"But what about us?!" Moris whined. "We're siamese twins! And the Capitol can't surgically separate us; we both share the same heart!"

The mentors exchanged glances before blinking at her. "Yeah, you're probably gonna have a bit of trouble."

"Poooooooop, we're at the Capitol now." Lim said as he stared out the window. Boris and Moris stood up in sync to get a view of the city. However, it was suddenly replaced with darkness as the train entered a tunnel. After about a few minutes the vehicle slowed to a stop.

"Before we exit the train mates," Perusilo- whatever his name is - said. "I got something ta bark out."
The group stared at him in anticipation. "Moris is a bloke's name."

"PLOT TWIST" Pea yelled.

"Shut up." Moris said, slightly embarrassed.

"In district 9, we like to shake things up a bit." Boris added, referring to the strange names.

Lim snorted into his hand. "Yeah, thats why none of the district 9 tributes ever make it past the bloodbath."

"No nid to vorry," Persulio said. "Zere is alvays a first."

"Yep," Lim muttered. "Always the first to DIE."

Post-Author's Note:

Dun dun dun…

Will we ever find out if the Siamese twins will win the games? Or what even is Perus- i give up - the Escort's accent? We only know the answer to one of these questions so… you should lyke, totes review.