Author's Notes: Hi everyone! Welcome to my experimental OC-centric fanfiction. The universe of Invader Zim has so many different aspects to it that are hinted at but barely touched upon in the series, so I decided to write a fic from the POV of non-canon characters to show how life before and during Operation Impending Doom II would look from the standpoint of two ordinary people; one a Vortian and one an Irken. Don't worry, I'll do my best to keep the characters and world from feeling generic, and hopefully this will be a new and interesting read for everyone. Thank you for reading, and please favorite, follow, and review :)
Chapter 1
We Will Do Great Things
The large monitors projected images of star clusters, suns, galaxies, and planets far away as they were fed into the research facility through the many telescopes sent to the farthest reaches of known space. Galaxus Center was the largest military research center on Vort, though currently Kee Wai and her father were in the civilian sector observing the panoramic photos and videos of outer space.
"Wow!" Kee Wai, a 4 year old Vortian girl, gasped in awe of all that she saw in front of her, "You get to see this every day, Daddy?"
"Well, not every day, but every time I enter this room," Her father replied with a warm smile as he ran his hand over her tiny horns, "Would you like to see my office now, sweetie?"
"Not really," Kee Wai replied honestly.
"Well you need to, if you're going to learn how I do my job," Her father, Tang Bar, replied, "I know being an accountant doesn't sound as glamorous as a chemist or a engineer, but my job is important to this project as well. Without my calculations no one would know how many monies we're spending, and without that information we wouldn't know if we had enough to cover the cost of materials, research, and labor. Our allies are counting on us, and we cannot let them down."
"Juba Ju says Irkens are weird," Kee Wai commented as she walked alongside her father down the catwalk toward his office, "He's that kid in my class that keeps ripping the feet out of his pants and sucking on his bare foot. He says Irkens are mean and they don't like anybody."
"Now sweetie, you know what they say about rumors," Tang Bar chided his Vortling, "I will admit that Irkens are a bit...I suppose the nice word is insular. They are private individuals that consider themselves benevolent yet superior. Frankly they would be lost without us guiding their weapons research, but there's no sense bickering about it. After all, Irkens and Vortians need each other. We are perfect symbiotic partners in a cold and unforgiving cosmos."
"Symbiotic?" Kee Wai asked, "I forgot what that means."
"It means we work together in perfect harmony," Tang Bar replied with a smile, "We Vortians are intelligent and are capable of making weapons, but we don't have the manpower or the savagery to defend ourselves against those that would wish us harm. Irkens are an entire race of hard-wired military drones that don't have the resources to make their own weapons. Separately we are both easy targets, but together we are a symbiotic team. They guard our orbit from intruders, and we make and improve weapons and ships for their armada to keep them strong."
Kee Wai grinned wide at that description. She knew Juba Ju was just being a jerk. Irkens couldn't be mean, because they protected Vort.
Kee Wai was glad today was the annual Children's Day holiday on Vort, because this was when Vortian children went with their guardians to work to learn the skills of their elder's profession. Kee Wai didn't really want to be an accountant, but if she kept coming to work with her father every year she would be certified as an accountant and then be able to attend a university to expand her horizons and maybe get to be what she really wanted to be; a chemist.
"Will I get to see real Irkens, Daddy?" Kee Wai asked hopefully, "I've never seen a real Irken before. Just dolls that look like them."
"There are Irkens working in the facility and some that will be coming by today to purchase equipment and train," Tang Bar replied, "However, we will not be disturbing them. Irkens are very particular about who they talk to, and we don't want to upset our foreign allies' sensibilities."
"I don't understand what that means," Kee Wai replied as respectfully as she could manage, though she was disappointed, "Why wouldn't Irkens want to talk to you? You're nice."
"They only speak to the scientists," Tang Bar explained, "Besides, this latest project has everyone working double shifts. The team is nervous, and I need to ensure we aren't over budget. This ship is so large that it can't even be built on the planet. The laborers are in orbit working on the hull and interior as we speak."
"So it's a ship?" Kee Wai guessed.
"Not just any ship, my dear," Tang Bar replied, "This will be the new flagship for Irk's leader. Tallest Miyuki herself commissioned the construction of this ship, codename: The Massive."
"So Irk's king is just taller than everyone else?" Kee Wai asked skeptically.
"Queen, and yes, she is," Tang Bar replied a bit more hurriedly; hoping they could get back to talking about accounting, "Irkens are obsessed with height. They think it is a sign of leadership and might. There are many Irkens that are taller than Vortians, and Tallest Miyuki is as tall as three Vortians stacked on top of each other."
"Wow!" Kee Wai shouted in amazement, "Is she smart?"
"I don't know, Kee Wai," Tang Bar sighed as he rubbed his forehead, "Listen honey, we have a long day today, and I'm going to need you to pay attention to what I'm doing. Okay?"
"Okay," Kee Wai reluctantly replied. She really hated business stuff, and not even the math could make it fun.
Tang Bar smiled, patted her head, and then pulled out a data pad with the ledger in one of the files. He demonstrated how he calculated their expenses and grants in real time, and then showed how he could communicate with the other members of the senior staff using the console. Kee Wai listened, but deep down she was just bored. She was just glad he was too involved in his work to notice.
Happy Children's Day to me... Kee Wai thought sarcastically.
The Irken ship docked outside the Galaxus Center and opened to allow the group to exit. A purple-clad commander marched out of the hatch first, followed by two dozen Irken smeets ready for their first day of hands-on training with Vortian technology. Most of the children were eyeing the weapons with eagerness and excitement, but little Dop, the yellow-eyed smeet trailing behind the group, knew he wouldn't get to fire anything or blow anything up, so he kept his eyes on the real prize; the ships.
"Alright soldiers, listen up!" The adult minding the smeets barked irritably, "You are all here because your PAKs have programmed you to serve the Irken Empire outside of our home world. Some of you are future elite soldiers, some of you are future pilots and navigators, and some of you are potential invaders. You must all learn how to translate your programming into practical skill. Failure to comply will result in an existence evaluation and eventual deactivation. Do you understand me, worm-babies?"
"Sir, yes sir!" The smeets all shouted as they saluted their commanding officer.
"Good. Now, follow me single file to the firing range," The commander ordered, "If any of you are not comfortable firing a weapon, then get over it! No snacks until your first task is complete."
There were a few moans of disappointment among the crowd, but no one openly protested. Dop fell back even further from the group as his tiny neck craned to get a good look at the large ships on display in the docking area. Some of them were Vortian civilian ships, and other were meant for the Irken Empire. Dop could already tell which was which because Vortians never bothered to paint their ships while Irken ships were always painted a beautiful violet or fuchsia.
When they got to the firing range, Dop was given a fully charged laser weapon along with the rest of his squad. He was already a year old and had yet to fire a gun, so he was behind the rest of his class. Then again, he was programmed as a pilot so weapons training, while mandatory, would likely not affect his future career options. He looked at the target in front of him and hefted his weapon.
The other kids fired off several shots, some of which hit the very center of the holographic dummies, but Dop's shots barely grazed his. He hit it sometimes, but not nearly enough to earn him a good score. Oh, he just knew his commander would chew him out for this one.
He looked back to see if the commander was looking at him. She was actually talking to a Vortian with a data pad and a worried look on his filthy alien face. Dop then got an idea, a mischievous idea. This part of the training wasn't benefitting him anyway, and no one was watching. He could just leave.
Smirking impishly, Dop quietly eased his gun onto the floor and snuck out the back exit. He was going to explore the shipyard on his own, and then he would learn everything he needed to know to get the best piloting job in the whole fleet. He almost wanted to laugh at how clever this was, but instead he settled for grinning and sneaking away.
It had been three hours of watching her father work, and Kee Wai was starting to get thoroughly bored. Her father wasn't even explaining anything to her anymore and was instead engrossed in his files trying to squeeze enough money out of a grant from some university so the Massive could have another deck with yet another snack bar.
Kee Wai yawned and sat on the carpeted floor. When Vortians sat on their knees their feet stuck out at the front of their bodies, and Kee Wai wiggled her feet under her to see if she could tear a hole in the bottom of her pants. Juba Ju did that when he was bored, so why not her?
Finally she couldn't take anymore monotony, so she politely asked her daddy if she could use the bathroom, to which he said yes. She didn't really need to go potty, but she did need to move around freely. She promised herself she wouldn't be gone longer than 10 minutes.
As Kee Wai travelled the halls she found herself looking in every room she passed. Most were either offices or storage areas. She had wanted to see the scientists working or something else that was cool, but so far all she saw was drab work spaces.
After several minutes of turning this way and that Kee Wai found herself in an area of the facility that housed large steaming pipes, machines with blinking lights and touch screens, and little to no overhead lighting. She reasoned that this was probably a maintenance area, and realized she had been walking around the dark damp hallways for probably 5 or 10 minutes. Her daddy was going to be worried if she didn't get back soon!
She ran back down the hall, but then noticed there were four doorways. She didn't remember which one she came from. Kee Wai was lost, and she stood there and hugged herself when she realized how cold this place was. Was there even anyone down here? She needed to find an adult to help her get back to her daddy.
She walked down the seemingly never ending hallway; her light steps barely registering as sound over the thrumming of various machines and generators. She sighed in resignation as she continued to search for someone that could help her get back to the office level of the research center.
She suddenly heard the sound of stuff clanking on the ground and a tiny voice shouting "Ow!"
Kee Wai ran toward the sound of the voice. If there was a person there then maybe they could help her get back to her father. When she made it to the source of the voice she saw that the door to a supply closet was open, random junk littered the floor, and there was a overturned bucket moving around.
"Is there someone in there?" Kee Wai asked the bucket.
"Oh, crud!" The voice spat, "Whoever you are, you better not tell Commander I'm here! I mean it! I know how to parallel park!"
Kee Wai raised an eyebrow at the nonsensical proclamation, but decided to help whoever was in there. It sounded like another Vortling that was in the facility for Children's Day. Kee Wai was barely able to get her arms around the large bucket, but managed to pull it off. She then lost her balance and fell backwards; the bucket landing on top of her.
"Help! Get it off!" Kee Wai cried out as she tried to push the oversized bucket away.
The one who had been trapped, Dop, saw the struggling Vortling's legs kicking in a comical fashion and chuckled. He then pulled out his PAK legs and fired a laser from them; dislodging the bucket.
Kee Wai stood up, and then saw who the other kid was. It was an Irken. A real Irken. He was much tinier than she had expected, but he had the green smooth skin, the big bulging eyes, and the metallic PAK. This was her chance to find out if Irkens were mean like Juba Ju said or a force for good like her father said.
"Hi, Irken. My name is Kee Wai. What's your name?"
"Future Pilot Dop," Dop introduced himself, "I'm here for training with a group of smeets from sector 5. What do you do around here?"
"I'm learning about my daddy's career," Kee Wai replied proudly.
"What's a daddy?" Dop asked curiously.
"Um...Do you only have mommies on Irk?" Kee Wai asked with a twinge of pity for the little alien.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Dop scratched his antennae in confusion, "What do those words mean?"
"You know, a mommy and daddy. Parents," Kee Wai tried to explain, "Um, the people who raise you are your parents."
"You mean my commanding officers?" Dop guessed.
"No, silly! The people who gave you life!" Kee Wai elaborated.
"You mean the smeetery's robot arm?" Dop asked quizzically, "I have no attachment to that thing. It's a cold unfeeling object."
"Oh. So where do Irken babies come from if you don't have parents?" Kee Wai asked acceptingly.
"Jars," Dop replied bluntly.
"And where do the jars come from?" Kee Wai asked without missing a beat.
"Factories," Dop replied.
"And where do the factories come from?" Kee Wai pressed on with her questions.
"Irkens build them out of metal and stuff," Dop explained; not really caring about the details of factory construction.
"So adult Irkens do make baby Irkens, in a way," Kee Wai reasoned, "My mommy and daddy had me by copulating with each other and then having my mommy grow me inside her body. They cut her open to get me out."
"That's disgusting!" Dop exclaimed as he stuck out his worm-like tongue, "You Vort-things are filthy!"
"We are not!" Kee Wai argued, "At least our babies don't come from the same place as pickles and jelly!"
"It's not that kind of jar!" Dop shouted indignantly, "Anyway you know what else comes out of Vort bodies? Dookie! That means you're made of dookie!"
"No I'm not!" Kee Wai yelled as she stomped her foot angrily, "Anyway you look like you're made of goo! You don't even have any fur or anything!"
"Yeah, well your antennae are covered in bones!" Dop countered.
"They're not antenna, they're horns!" Kee Wai pointed out, "And at least our eyes aren't big and goofy looking like yours!"
"At least you can see my eyes, which frankly surprises me!" Dop replied haughtily, "Your eyes are so tiny that if I was ordered to shoot you when I saw your eyes, I'd have to wait until you were breathing down my neck!"
"Good! It would save you on laser charge and give me time to come up with a plan to escape," Kee Wai observed with the same argumentative tone.
"You're weird!" Dop shouted.
"You're weird!" Kee Wai shouted back.
The two toddlers then crossed their arms and glared at each other defiantly. After a few seconds of silence, however...
"So, you wanna be friends?" Kee Wai suddenly asked.
"Huh?" Dop tilted his head in confusion, "What's friends?"
"It means we do stuff together like play and whatnot," Kee Wai shrugged, "So, you wanna?"
"I'm here on business," Dop reminded her, "I have to come here to get my navigator license. I already know how to drive, but the license means I can get programmed by the Control Brains. It's just a formality really."
"You know how to drive?" Kee Wai gasped in awe, "I'm not gonna be allowed to learn how to drive for 10 years!"
"10 years? But you'll be old then!" Dop exclaimed incredulously, "This is an outrage! You're young, smart, and willing to learn! You need to know how to drive. Come with me!"
"Where are we going, Dop?" Kee Wai asked curiously.
"To fix an injustice!" Dop declared as he held his fist in the air dramatically, "I'm gonna teach you how to fly a ship. Maybe something small like a voot cruiser or a spittle runner. No sense getting carried away on the first day."
"You'll teach me? Really?" Kee Wai asked; touched, "Yay! Daddy was right!"
"About what?" Dop asked.
"That Irkens and Vorts are really good for each other!" Kee Wai replied, "Don't worry Dop, I'll find something to teach you too. I can already tell we're gonna be best friends."
"I highly doubt you know anything I don't," Dop replied casually, "But I don't really care. Anything to get out of target practice and the obstacle course."
The two children 'borrowed' a Vort hover car and Dop explained the controls as Kee Wai worked them. She crashed into a small pole separating the parking spaces, a stump, and a parked bicycle, but after a few minutes she managed to straighten herself out.
"Now the important thing is to always be precise with your coordinates, and keep the emergency stop button in your line of sight," Dop explained patiently as Kee Wai got out of the parking lot and out into the street, "In a vehicle like this there are no weapons arrays, so you don't have to worry about attacking anyone by accident while on the road. That being said, the right and left signals are very finicky. When you swipe do it carefully and slowly."
"I got it," Kee Wai replied as she gripped the joystick that was there in place of a steering wheel.
"Before you switch lanes look behind you," Dop instructed.
"Um...There's another car," Kee Wai pointed out.
"Then don't go yet," Dop quickly replied.
Dop had forgotten how long it takes the young of other species to develop. Vortian younglings weren't too bad, though their mental maturity took a while. Irken smeets were ready to go practically from birth and needed only to await physical maturity before they were considered adults. Vortlings, however...
"If I crash does it hurt the car?" Kee Wai asked.
"The car isn't alive, and even if it was who cares?" Dop asked impatiently, "If you crash it will hurt us, and that's all that matters."
"Where should I go?" Kee Wai asked.
"Find a place to park," Dop ordered, "Parking is a very important skill. I should know. It took me longer to master that than anything else in my programming."
Kee Wai was too focused on driving to look for a parking space, so Dop scouted the area until he found a parking lot in front of a chemical supply store. He told her to turn in there, but she accidentally turned the wrong way and flipped the hover car over on the street. The car, no longer able to hover, dropped like a lead balloon (literally) and the kids were left hanging upside down in the car by their seat belts.
The car behind them noticed what happened and stopped. The Vortian couple in the next car worked together to flip the downed hover car back over, and when they did they saw two very small and very flustered children panting for breath and looking wide eyed at their rescuers.
"Oh, my stars!" A Vortian lady exclaimed, "Port Ding, look! They're just children!"
"Ain't it illegal for children to drive?" The male Vortian asked the female.
"Illegal?" Dop asked critically, "That's ridiculous! She'll never learn if she doesn't do it while her brain meats are still fresh."
"An Irken boy," The male shook his head in dismay, "Well, that explains a lot."
Kee Wai ducked her head in shame while Dop looked at the adult Vortians with disdain. Kee Wai knew then that her father would be so disappointed in her. Not only did she lie about going potty, but she also left the building with a stranger, talked to an Irken when she wasn't supposed to, stole a car, and drove the car badly enough to get caught. She was so dead.
Kee Wai and Dop sat in a break room in the police station awaiting their legal guardians to come get them. Kee Wai knew her father would be disappointed and angry with her. Dop wondered what deactivation felt like and if time really slowed down in the Irken mind before it happened.
"I hope no universities learn about what I did," Kee Wai lamented, "I don't wanna go to a bad college because I have a criminal record. Vortians that have been in prison never amount to anything."
"I don't think you'll go to prison," Dop replied, "And if they do threaten you with jail time, then I'll just tell them I kidnapped you. It'll make me look like I have leadership skills."
"You'd do that for me?" Kee Wai asked; overwhelmed.
"Sure. Why not?" Dop shrugged, "You called us friends, and according to that burly policeman over there friendship is a relationship similar to two elite squad members. That means we have to look out for each other to survive."
"That sounds about right," Kee Wai said as she kicked her legs in the air since they didn't reach the floor from her chair, "So Dop, what do you wanna be when you grow up?"
"Um...I don't understand your question," Dop replied in confusion.
"I wanna be a chemist when I grow up, or a medical doctor," Kee Wai told him, "I wanna make a difference in people's lives. Maybe discover a new element or heal sick children on war-torn planets. I might even be a university teacher when I'm old. What about you? What do you want to be?"
"I'm programmed as a pilot, so whatever career I'm assigned to will involve ships in some way," Dop replied matter-of-factly, "The highest honor is to be a navigator on board the flagship, but I would have to be tall enough for that. No shorties allowed. I don't really know if my job will be as a military or civilian pilot. That all depends on my future height and diligence in my studies."
"Programmed? So you have to be a pilot?" Kee Wai asked, "You can't be something else?"
"No, and I don't get to choose which pilot job I am ultimately programmed with either. That's up to the Control Brains," Dop explained, "The Control Brains are the hive mind of our world. They know everything, and they decide our fates. Even the Tallest listens to them. Someday there might even be a Control Brain on Vort."
"But I don't want a giant brain telling me what to do!" Kee Wai whined.
"Too bad. Sometimes free will must be sacrificed for perfect order," Dop replied firmly, "After all, it would be easier to train if you knew with absolute certainty what you were going to be when you grew taller."
"Well...um..." Kee Wai knew free will was better, but she didn't know how to argue the point when Dop made such a strong adult sounding argument for the Irken way, "Well then, I hope you get to be the kind of pilot you want to be. Say, you wanna go see if the cops will give us any juice?"
"I prefer soda, but yes," Dop replied with a small smile.
The interesting thing about childhood friendships is that they are more often than not based on convenience and a willingness to engage. Kee Wai and Dop argued every few minutes about which species was better and which way of life was better, but it didn't matter because they were little and they both just wanted someone to play with. This day, despite it's dubious outcome, was the beginning of a friendship that would last for a long time. Little did they know that someday their worlds would change in ways that would shake the very foundation of all they knew.