Guilt: The Secrets of a Dead Man
DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO! NARUTO IS PROPERTY OF MASASHI KISHIMOTO AND VIZ MEDIA!
WARNING: This work will contain hints of SHONEN-AI (boyxboy) and UCHIHACEST. (i.e. ITASASU)So if you do not wish to partake in reading such things, please be so kind as to leave this page now. Read at your own discretion. Thank you and happy reading! :)
"A good name is better than fine perfume, and the day of death better than the day of birth."-Ecclesiastes 7:1
I have had eight years to prepare myself for this moment. Eight years to feel the grievous burning sensation in my chest. This agony in my core is not only from illness, no, it is also from the festering blameworthy deeds committed by my scarlet-soaked hands. Pity, not even my own blood can wash away the blood of the many others of which I have slain. Although, what is astonishing is that murder is the least of my worries for when I enter the afterlife. I have far more taboo sins hidden in the deepest corners of my mind, disgusting things of which I have never nor ever will speak of. Illicit things of which even could make the most brutal of killers cringe, revolting things I shall take to the grave with me.
From the steady soreness in my chest, I suddenly felt a shocking surge of pain and began to cough. I covered my mouth with my hand, and then after one final hack, I felt sticky warmth spew into my hand, which wreaked of blood, my own dirty blood. The blood of a liar, the blood of a hypocrite, the blood of one corrupted and sick individual now drips from my fingertips. I have spent my entire life reaching to be different, not becoming corrupted in the ways my ancestors did, and in that respect, I have succeeded. However, I have become very corrupted in a very different way, in quite an unclean way to be exact, and it has taken me sixteen long years to realize it. I strain my eyes in order to make out the outline of the person in the distance. The eyestrain was like taking sharp needles into my cornea, but I don't really pay much mind to it, not as much mind as I am paying to the person in front of me. The person I used my last bit of power upon in order to set free from that demonic serpent that enjoys praying upon the likes of the innocents. However, looking at the given scenario realistically, you are not exactly innocent anymore, are you, Sasuke? I suppose I would be the one to blame for that as well, now wouldn't I? But the fact that I have been able to keep you ignorant for this long is a miraculous thing in itself. I wish you knew why I chose to keep you ignorant, my dearest Otouto.
"And now, your eyes... are mine. I will take my time retrieving them." It was then a piercing pain went through my chest and before I knew it I was gagging, choking up more of the scarlet red liquid into my hand.
I didn't want you to see me this way...
The Susanoo was wasting me away quicker than I would have hoped. I knew that my time has come, but I wish it was much quicker and less demeaning than this. I fell to my knees, hacking up more and more gore.
I wish you didn't need to see me in a moment of weakness...
What's worse is that this is a regular occurrence. This isn't the first time I lowered to my knees spewing blood from my mouth.
He doesn't need to know that though...
I rose to my feet, breathing heavily from only that small task. Suddenly I saw a single yellow and orange colored spark come closer toward me from the blurs and shapes that made up my world. A paper bomb, I suppose from the sound of the explosion. No use, the deity which surrounds me protected me, but at the same time weakens me. I suppose it was Sasuke's desperate attempt to exterminate me where I stood.
Hang on, Otouto, I must give you this one last wish...
I trudge closer, step by step. Every step I take I can see dear Sasuke clearer and clearer. Yes, this is the face I want to see when I take my final breath. I can just now make out his lovely features, porcelain skin, coal-black eyes, and those raven locks which hang off of his face and stick to his sweaty chiseled jaw.
Why him of all people? Why him?
"Damn it!" He grunted. I then saw more yellow sparks launching away from his body, and several explosions above me followed after. I continue to stumble over the dismantled stone protruding from the ground, huffing and wheezing as I walk. This is real, now isn't it? I really am dying.
"They're my eyes... they're mine." I breath out as I raise my hand, reaching out for the lovely raven only a few feet away from me. I don't understand why I continue this facade.
Perhaps to keep the taboo sins I have hidden in the deepest corners of my mind...
I abruptly heard my younger brother roar in frustration and anger after his sword was unsheathed. He leaped forward with total intent to kill, but failed, being completely repelled by my ocular jutsu. I want nothing more than to stop this idiocy and deceit and tell him the truth for once. Just for this one time, the last time, the only time.
But no, he must never know of the disgusting things in which I have never nor ever will speak of.
Sasuke stepped back, attempting to move farther away from me as I continued my advances toward him with my arm still outstretched, but not for the reason he thinks.
No, it's a far more illicit thing that would make even the most brutal of killers cringe.
I want nothing more than to fall forward and embrace him fully. To show my undying, unconditional and disturbingly sinful love for him. Sasuke steps backwards, and his now up against part of what was left of the wall from our battle. No, I will not break. This is to not only protect others, but to protect the one I love in front of me. I will not allow anything to happen to him.
This revolting thing, I shall take to the grave with me.
I raise my arm slightly higher, instead of caressing his ivory cheek like I almost foolishly did, I poked his forehead and left him with a little something to remember me by, but hopefully will never have to use.. Now ideally, a certain nuisance will not be able to spout off once I'm gone. I lift my head up, gazing at the one I care for so deeply one last time, I smile,
"Sorry, Sasuke, there won't be a next time." I hold back my tears, perhaps even from that I said too much, but quite frankly, I don't really give a damn. The blissful sensation of death is overtaking me now, and I feel every single burden, every single weight fall off my shoulders. I dropped my arm to my side, and now I was satisfied with my final moments. To parish at the side of the one you love, I'm very glad to have that luxury. But I wonder, maybe, just maybe if none of the events prior to this day underwent, would I have also had the luxury to not only shut my eyes at my Otouto's side, but to open them as well? Would I have been greeted in the morning to see his smiling face looking up at mine? Would I have known what it was like to love and be loved in return? The probability of such things is not very high, but can I not dream?
I have nothing left to give you but this, my love...
I then fell forward and felt my forehead slam into the very wall Sasuke was leaning against. I sank to my knees and rolled over onto my back, ready to breath my last breath, and look up at the beauty standing above me.
My dearest Sasuke, my Otouto, oh my love, I have given you what you have fantasized about for years. I am now dead at your feet.
End
Be cruel please! Constructive criticism is completely welcome here! Any grammar mistakes and/or typos let me know, please! I wrote this in, like a day out of boredom. :P Thanks for reading!
Love,
~The Scarlet Dreamer