A/N: This is a first of two chapters of RoChu randomness. The second chapter will be smut. This is my first post. This is Un-betaed. I rated it T for mentions of alcohol and eventual smut. The rating will go up.
Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia (obviously)
Yao had just come back from an embarrassing day with his siblings. Wan spilled tea all over his new cheongsam, his chest was still sore from all the times Yong Soo had "claimed his breasts," Li Xiao had set off firecrackers behind his chair to scare him, and Kiku, after seeing the scar on his back, wouldn't talk to him. All in all, it was a very awkward day for Yao. All he wanted to do was go home. He said goodbye to his siblings and jumped in the car that was waiting for him. When he got to his house his boss, a giant green dragon, was there waiting, "How did it go, China?" His boss asked.
"It was ok, aru. I think Taiwan is going to convince her boss to trade with us more." Yao said, trying and failing to sound less tired then he was.
"Very good, China! You sound tired. Old bones couldn't handle your siblings, huh? Just picking on you, why don't you go relax in the hot spring?" His boss said.
"Good idea, aru. That sounds lovely; I can try out my new Kitty-chan bathrobe," Yao sighed, 'this is just what I needed.' Yao gathered some bath salts, aroma therapy oils, and his bathrobe and started to walk to the hot spring he had conveniently placed in his backyard. He was almost there when his boss called, "Oh, yeah, China, you have a visitor. I don't know where he went though."
"Well tell him I'm busy when you find him, aru." Yao called back, he hated to be rude to a guest but he seriously needed to relax. Yao entered his personal hot spring and was happy to see one of his maids had prepared everything for him. "I guess I won't need these," Yao mumbled to the pandas who were sitting around the edge of the water as he piled the salts and oils on the ground. He quickly slid out of his soiled cheongsam and called a maid to pick it up. He hopped into the water and started to walk over to the small waterfall his boss installed for him after the end of WWI, when he stumbled on something and fell into the water. He surfaced from under the boiling water and quickly swam to the edge of the pool so he could catch his breath. "Are you ok, sir?" the maid who was picking up his dirty laundry called.
"Fine, thank you, aru. I just slipped nothing to be worried about. I am 4000 years old after all, I have defiantly had worse." Yao laughed at the look on his maids face. The maid stared at him trying to determine whether or not he was lying. "Uhhh, you can go now, aru." Yao said blushing as he realized the unclothed state he was in. The maid gave him a skeptical look before leaving the room. Yao turned and went on a search for the object he tripped over. He always walked that path to the waterfall and there was never something in the way. He got to the spot where he tripped and looked around nothing was abnormal. Well, there was a panda but pandas would never hurt him. "Did you trip me you silly little panda, aru." Yao laughed and hugged the large animal. Yao was surprised when the panda hugged back but he shrugged it off. He walked over to the waterfall and washed his hair with his Kitty-chan soap. Something soft nuzzled against his leg and he turned around to see the panda in the water next to him. "You're a rather affectionate guy aren't you, aru?" Yao said as he bent down to pet the fuzzy animal, "You're the nicest panda I've met in a while. I should keep you as a pet."
"Only if I can sleep in the bedroom, da." The panda muttered.
"Aru? I could have sworn I heard you talk; must be hallucinating." Yao sighed, 'I must be older than I thought' Yao finished washing himself and sat down to relax. "Yao! I think your visitor is gone. I can't find him." Yao's boss called from the hall.
"Who was it, aru?"
"A big tall guy, I think he said his name was Russia."
"WHAT?" Yao screamed; his head whipped around to the panda next to him, "IVAN!"
"Da?" the panda replied.
"What are you doing in here, aru?"
"Same as you, relaxing." Ivan said.
"Well, uhhhhhh, you can stay, I guess, but only if you promise to stay away from me…AND NO LOOKING OR TOUCHING, ARU!"
"Very well," Ivan stood and took off his panda suit, reveling he had nothing on under it.
"AIYA! Ivan! Were you expecting this?" Yao screamed as he tore his eyes away from the man before he saw any bare skin. "Sit down already!"
"Very well… So Yao what is the point of this? Why not just take a shower?"
"It increases blood circulation, eases stress and detoxifies the body." Yao said, "And in general it's relaxing."
"Oh…, so where will I be sleeping tonight? Can I sleep in your room?" Ivan asked.
"What? You're not staying at my house, aru!"
"Your boss said it was ok, da…" Ivan mumbled, "This makes me sad, and when I'm sad I get violent. Kolkolkolkol." Ivan said looking in the direction of the pandas.
"Not the pandas, aru!" Yao squealed.
"Then I stay?" Ivan asked. Yao murmured, "I guess, aru."
"Yay! Thank you, Yao! This will be very fun, da." Ivan chuckled. A mix of happiness and insanity flashed through Ivan's eyes, followed by an emotion Yao couldn't quite make out. "Uhhhhh r-right…" Yao stuttered, slightly afraid of the Russian, "Well, uh, we should probably get out soon its not good to stay in the hot water to long, aru."
"Da, good idea, you first" Ivan said grinning like a mad man.
'He just wants to see my butt, aru." Yao looked at the Russian and sighed in defeat. He stood up and went to grab for his bathrobe from the rock where he knew he left it. It wasn't there. Yao looked around on the ground for his missing bathrobe. He was about to call for a maid when he saw a flash of pink, "Oh, there you are bathrobe, aru." Yao said as he looked in the direction of the pink. Let's just say he didn't expect to see the large Russian man wearing his knock-off Hello Kitty bathrobe. "It looks nice on me, da?" the Russian asked posing slightly. Yao grabbed a panda from the rock next to him and threw it at the bathrobe clad man. "NO! Get out of my house, aru!" Yao screamed.
"But, Yao you said I could stay…" Ivan muttered
"Yes…but that was befor—" Yao started
"A Chinese man never goes back on his word. Right, Yao? You should know seeing as you represent them, da?" Yao sighed and stormed into his house. He knew the Russian would follow but he didn't really care. 'It's only one night,' he told himself, 'just ignore him and you can kick him out in the morning.' Yao started cooking himself some pot stickers when he heard a weird noise from the hallway. "What are you doing, aru?" He asked. More crashing came but this time it was closer. "Nothing, Don't worry. I just tripped da." Ivan replied.
"What are you doing in there anyway, Iva- I mean- Russia?" Yao called.
"Just looking around, da. Picking out where I will sleep." Ivan said.
"Uhhh right, well be careful I have some very fragile antiques in there, aru." Yao mumbled. He finished making his pot stickers and put them into two bowls. He grabbed a bottle of vodka he had from the last time the Russian had come over and popped it open, knowing it would attract the Russian's attention. "Yao, did you bring some vodka just for me? How sweet." Ivan chuckled, amused by the blush on the smaller man's face.
"T-that's not it at all, aru. I bought it last time you came over, when you were expected, and we never drank it, aru." Yao said defensively. "Sure, sure." Ivan giggled and took a drink of vodka. He quickly ate and walked back into the hall. Yao finished eating and put his dishes in the sink for a maid to take care of. "Ivan? What are you doing?" Yao called. He looked down the hallway but didn't see the Russian. "Ivan?" he called again.
"Da?" The tall man said appearing behind the Chinese man, a shadow covering his face and a pipe in his hand.
"I-Ivan? What are you d-doing, aru?" Yao stuttered. The Russian stepped in front of the smaller man and looked into his eyes. "Iva—" Yao was cut off as a pair of soft lips were pressed against his own.
"Don't enter this hallway until I call you," Ivan paused and looked into Yao's eyes, "Or else," he added with a smile. Yao shuttered and nodded. 'Oh no! I am going to die, aru! What is he planning? Why did he kiss me? I didn't think his lips would be so soft, aru, or that he would be so gentle. I should try to get him to do that again… Aiya! What am I thinking?' Yao thought for a while, playing the kiss over and over in his head. "Yao, my little panda, come here please. I'm in your room, da." Ivan called. Yao started to walk down the hallway, he smelled something, like…peonies? What the hell? "I am not your 'little panda,' aru," He said as he walked into his room to find Ivan sitting on his peony petal covered bed. There were candles lit and peonies and sunflowers were placed strategically around the room. He also noticed that his bathtub was filled with bubbles and lotus blossoms. There was also a large amount of Chinese vodka on his end table. The lights were dimmed and it was quite a serene sight. Ivan stood and walked over to Yao. He pulled the small man into a kiss and slipped something on his finger. Yao looked down at his finger, "What's this?" he asked, "I will not marry you if that's what it is."
"Nyet. That's not it. It's a promise ring. I want you to become one, da, but I don't want to force you into anything. So I want to form an alliance and when you are ready, we will join together." Ivan said more serious then Yao had ever seen him. He kissed him once more and pushed him onto his bed. "Ivan! What are you doing?" Yao screamed. The Russian lay down on the bed and dragged Yao over to him. "Don't worry I won't hurt you. Ya tebya lyublyu. I will forever, da." Ivan said hugging the other man.
"Ivan, I…I… Wǒ yĕ ài nǐ" Yao said blushing.
"I will assume that means I love you" Ivan said. The Chinese man laughed, "Well duh." Yao kissed Ivan's forehead, "How did you know I liked you?"
"I'm magic, da!" Ivan laughed.
"Really? That's one I haven't heard before." Yao yawned.
"Da!" Ivan went into a long rant about magic, curses, Russian demons, and pixies, before noticing the Chinese man had fallen asleep.
"I love you so much." He said before putting the covers over him and his new ally. He slipped the ring off Yao's finger and put it on the table next to his vodka. He kissed Yao quickly, took out a camera, and snapped some pictures before slipping into a deep sleep.
A/N: I'm sorry the ending sucks. The two phrases at the end mean I love you (Russian) and I love you too (Chinese)
PS I have no idea how to make pot stickers but I think they take a while so just pretend they don't….
{Peace out to SuperYuuki. I hope you like it.}