AUTHORS NOTE:
This was a prompts given to my on my tumblr, which you can follow under the same name I have here!
Anyways. This is just a little John x Deputy drabble, about John having a hard time showing his love. I used they/them pronouns for the deputy, so everyone could enjoy it in their own way! Hope you all like it!
Love wasn't something that was easy for John, to be completely honest it was something he hadn't done in a long time. Yes, there was his brothers, his sister, and his people, but that was not the same. Even the love he felt for them would become clouded at times, by his own natural sin. That spilled easily over his skin, showing the world outside just how dark he truly was.
Being with the deputy was no different and in the short amount of time together, John has learned how loving to rookie could actually be. How easily the words of love would tumbled from their lips, filling Johns ever pore and leaving him breathless. Yes, it was intoxicating at times, as love was a rare gift among the Seed family. Something they had to form and craft, to make for themselves, not something to be received by others.
Yet the deputy never asked for anything in return, they had accepted their path and only chose to give and to give to John. Which only made the clouds grow darker, as the youngest brother knew one could only give so much for so long, before turning away. He couldn't allow that and the thought of locking the deputy away came to mind. Yet that was not fair to the world, to be so selfish, to lock away such a pure light.
"I love you."
Tired eyes turned to the them, as John let the words sink into his flesh. The soft smile that they wore was blinding, cutting him to the bone and nesting in the marrow. Causing Johns body to move at its own accord, cupping the back of their neck and holding them in place.
Neither said a word, yet he could feel the rookies quickened breaths. John didn't want to frighten them, so instead of guided them closer, until the space between them was closed. Resting his forehead against their own, it was a silent thank you or a silent plead, John wasn't to sure. However, he hoped that the deputy would understand, that this was all the John could offer of himself. This was all he had that was not The Father, that was not formed by Yes, that was truly him.