"Well, hello," Jack smiled when Ianto walked in. Ianto didn't return the greeting, so Jack turned up the charm exponentially. "Almost done with these requisitions. Maybe I can get a little sugar to, uh… what's the Mary Poppins thing? Make the medicine go down?"
Ianto's frown didn't budge as he reached into his jacket and tossed a couple packets of Sugar-in-the-Raw on Jack's desk.
"Ok, that wasn't quite the kinda sugar I was hoping for."
Ianto just stood there.
"Getting the feeling you're a little annoyed with me for some reason."
"What is this, Jack?" Ianto asked, producing a slip of paper from a file stuffed with receipts.
"Huh?"
"I have no idea how to code this in the expense sheet."
Jack took the paper and had a glance at it. "Oh. That's not an expense. Not a Torchwood one, anyway."
"Then what sort of one is it?"
Jack shrugged. "Personal."
"Bloody personal, I'd say." Ianto still didn't look amused. "I didn't realize this sort of… assistance was necessary."
"Well… I wouldn't call it 'necessary'. Or 'assistance', for that matter."
"And what would you call it, then?"
"Well… ya know. Just… something to get me by. When you're not available, I mean."
"Not available?"
Jack shrugged again, but it was beginning to look more like a squirm. "I just mean I don't want to bother you sometimes. When you're tired, or not feeling well. I still have needs, but I don't want to, uh… go someplace else, either."
Ianto's glare was becoming downright stony.
"I, uh… I promise I won't use it except for emergencies. And it'll never be as good as yours, you know that." Jack added his pleading pout that time for good measure.
Ianto simply narrowed his eyes for a moment, then blew out a puff of a sigh before turning and walking away, grumbling, "Nespresso my arse."
Jack took a deep breath. That was a close one. He decided he'd better pick up some of Ianto's favourite chocolate that evening, and decided to double check his own ledger while he was at it. He'd be buying chocolate for a month if Ianto found the receipt for that bespoke dildo before Jack got round to introducing that concept!