There she was. Doing nothing in particular to make his heart flutter. But she was anyway, just by being herself. She laughed at something Beast Boy said and his throat instantly lacked air.
It was never easy to ignore his feelings. Some days he could distract himself with paperwork or training or whatever Jump City needed from the team. And then there were days like this, when she was the only thing on his mind. Even two hours in the gym didn't shake it off.
Robin hated and loved those days. They rebelled against every instinct instilled by both Bruce and his years of internal walls. But they also made him feel like he'd never ever felt before. And they reminded him his feelings were much stronger than just a crush.
Starfire was unlike any person he'd encountered on Earth. Or, anyone in the universe, for that matter. She had his stomach jumping around like a Flying Graysons' routine, usually with nothing more than a look. There wasn't any way to deny it anymore. There was only pretending and neglecting. Pretending he hadn't fallen for the most perfect person ever to exist, his best friend, and, most importantly, his teammate.
Teammate. Which meant it couldn't happen.
Best friend. Scaring away the desire of wanting it to happen because their friendship was so important.
Most times.
There was the occasional mistake where his eyes couldn't help but flicker down to her lips. When they touched and he had to step back before he couldn't stop. And those moments between just the two of them. Like nighttime rooftop picnics and walks in the park and late movies on the couch and insanely physically close contact during training sessions.
There were too many times he was tempted. It just became more and more as he fell harder and harder.
Every. Single. Day.
Right now, the sunlight covered whatever space was exposed. Including Star, highlighting the endless tan on her legs and the boundless waves in her perfect hair. She smiled at him from across the room, and he could've sworn he stopped breathing.
She hadn't hugged him in the past few days. Their shoulders hadn't accidentally brushed. They hadn't touched hands while sitting too close. Those things hadn't happened because there was no reason to. Except, what she didn't know, of course. His all-consuming love that struggled to stay secret craved the slightest touch.
That was the problem. Robin kept looking for little moments, happy accidents, to satisfy even an ounce of his internal screaming. At the beginning, he thought it was easy. Being in love with your best friend? Don't act on it, and it won't be an issue.
Wrong. So wrong.
It wouldn't go away. It couldn't. It was there, it was a part of him now, and he knew it wasn't so simple. Because she had to go and do something like give a irritatingly gorgeous grin while invested in a conversation with the others and make his heart smile.
As only a crush, ignoring the warmth in his chest at that sort of thing wasn't hard. And then he realized he was hopelessly, desperately, endlessly, irredeemably, indefinitely, completely, recklessly, in love with her. Which made it nearly impossible.
Days like this, when he realized that, were the best and worst kind.