Daichi woke up slowly, and had immediately rolled over onto his side to wrap his arms around his boyfriend-only to find that there was nobody there. His eyes opened slowly and he blinked heavily, his vision blurry from sleep. His arms lay heavily on the bed, outstretched, trying to hold something that wasn't there. Suddenly, Daichi's vision got even more blurry, and a cold numbness spread through him.
It took the dark-haired man a whole of twenty minutes just to drag himself out of bed. His arms were heavy and didn't want to move, and it was as if his bones had gotten ten times heavier. He managed to shuffle into the small kitchen that he shared with Sugawara, only needing to pause and lean on something to hold himself up twice on the way there. As he made a pot of coffee, his stumbled and made a mess, and his vision wasn't any clearer.
Daichi told himself that he wouldn't cry. He shouldn't; he had cried enough, and that this was ridiculous. However, the scent of the coffee brewing was smothering and he choked on it. Tears fell slowly down his face at first-quiet sobs. He took a deep breath and paused, clenching his fists and leaning on the counter for support, and then he couldn't hold it back anymore. His body shuddered as he broke into much more violent sobs, and the tears came much faster now. He gripped the edge of the counter, trying to hold himself up, but he was trembling too much and let himself fall down to his knees.
It's not fair, I don't deserve this; he didn't deserve that; it's not fucking fair. He whispered to himself, his fists clenched so that his knuckles were white.
After a few minutes of crying, his sniffles died down and he wiped the tears from his eyes.
I'm sorry. He whispered it softly, even though nobody was there. His breaths were shaky and his hands even trembled lightly. I'm so sorry, Koushi. I should have- He paused- I should have done something; anything. I'm so sorry.
His vision cleared enough to see a small blue post-it-note on the floor. With still-shaking hands, Daichi reached out and picked it up. He looked at the writing scribbled on it-though it looked rushed, it was neat handwriting, and a cute picture of a happy-looking crow was in the bottom right-hand corner.
I will probably be late tonight; work's been pretty crazy! Sorry for not warning you, Daichi, but it had slipped my mind!
It was signed 'Suga' with a small heart next to it.
Daichi read it and bit his lip, willing himself not to cry. Despite it, he felt the tears falling down his cheeks and he felt he was choking. It was hard to breathe, and his heart ached.
Why did this have to happen to him? It's not fair There's something different about Daichi's life now-something new. Or, perhaps more accurately, something missing.