This is my first attempt at a fanfic. I hope you like it!

I do not own the rights to Once Upon a Time.

Emma was driving without purpose. Well that's not technically true, she just had no destination.

The purpose was to clear her mind. Emma's mind was in a jumble. Her emotions were all over the place. She felt confused and scared and happy, and anxious and…a little angry? She was also too shocked to try and sort these emotions out.

But why was she so shocked?

Killian asking for her hand in marriage shouldn't have come out of left field. They had been dating for a while now and he had made his intentions of being with her pretty clear when he had called her his Happy Ending. She had even told him she loved him before the whole "Dark One" fiasco.

Despite all this, Emma really wasn't expecting the question.

It's not like she had had much time to think about the state of their relationship since she had declared her love …considering she had been the dark one for over six moths. And she had only been back to "normal" for two weeks now.

But if Emma was being honest with herself, she had never thought about it. There was always something so much more important happening than her budding relationship with the pirate. She had never given a thought to if she wanted it to lead to something more.

The moment he asked her, Emma immediately wanted to flee the room. To get as far away from the claustrophobic situation as possible. She had to remind herself that she wasn't that person anymore. She couldn't just run away from her problems. So she had kissed him hoping it would ease the sting of her next words. She didn't say no exactly, only that she needed time. Time to think and process. And he had been visibly disappointed but he said that she should take her time and he would wait however long.

Emma doesn't realize where she had driven to until she has pulled up in front of the house. 108 Mifflin Street.

Why did she come here?

She should just drive away. A part of her knows that if she keeps driving though, she might be tempted to just drive right out of town. So before she has time to question her motives further, she is walking up the path and knocking on the door to the mansion.

Regina answers the door after one knock.

"Emma?" Regina looks slightly confused but not upset by the appearance of the blonde at the door.

"Hi" she replies in a small voice. Almost as timid as the first time they met.

"Would you like to come in?" Regina asks, looking even more confused by Emma's behavior by the second.

Emma simply nods in response and proceeds inside.

"How about something to drink?"

Again Emma just nods in agreement as the pair make their way into the kitchen. Regina immediately makes herself busy getting out cups and preparing their drinks. Emma sits on a stool and watches the older women, but not really focusing due to her jumbled thoughts.

That's why she is startled when a mug is placed in front of her. She looks down at it and gives a little smile.

"Hot Chocolate?"

"Yes dear you look…distressed. And hot chocolate always made Henry feel better when he was upset as a child."

Emma directs the smile at Regina now as the brunette sits down on the stool next to her. They sit in silence and sip their drinks for a few minutes. Finally Regina's curiosity takes over.

"Not that you aren't always welcome here dear, but do you want to tell me why you came by today?"

"I…I don't know why" Emma responds. Why was she here? She asks herself again.

"Okay…well why don't you start with telling me why you look so upset."

Emma sighs deeply "Killian asked me to marry him"

The shock on Regina's face could not be hidden before she collects her features. But it was more than shock. Was it irritation?

"Well" she says once she collects herself "I would congratulate you but I'm assuming by the fact that you're here sulking that you said no"

"I told him that I would have to think about it."

" I see"

"I do love him but… I don't know if I'm ready for that step, you know? I was honestly so shocked when he asked me. And I wanted to flee but not just because I was scared but also because I started to become irrationally angry. Which is not an uncommon occurrence lately. But all that hatred and anger I had toward him while I was the Dark One was just brought back up again. I needed to leave before I ended up hurting him more than I already have."

"Emma" Regina says softly as she gently places left hand on top of Emma's right. "It's perfectly normal for you to still feel the pull of darkness. You've done an amazing job so far in your recovery."

Emma stares at their hands for a moment before she responds.

"I still have nightmares every night." She finally says in a small voice "And I still don't like being around people very much. I know I've been pulling away from everyone but it's just so hard to look them in the eye knowing all the horrible things I've done."

Silence fills the room again, but Regina can sense that the younger woman isn't finished with her thoughts yet so she doesn't interrupt.

After several moments Emma continues, " That's why Hook proposed. He said that he wanted me to know that he would be there for me during this hard time. Which is incredibly sweet but… I don't want him to comfort me. It's great to know that he is there if I need him, but I don't. "

This time when Emma is finished Regina knows her thought is complete so she responds.

"I think to be in love you have to need that person. Whether it's for support emotionally, physically, or financially. Maybe you need them to boost your confidence, or share the work of raising a child, or to just be there to listen to your problems and understand them." Regina pauses before continuing, " I'm not trying to insinuate that you don't care about him…but maybe because you have family and friends around you, you don't feel that you really need him around."

Emma processes Regina's words carefully. She's not sure if she needs Killian or not. The thought of him dying in that alternate reality had been truly heart wrenching. Yet, Regina had almost died as well. And watching their grieving son on top of her own sorrow had made Regina's alternate reality death so much worse.

While Emma is lost in thought, Regina gets up and clears their cups away. She washes them and starts to pull out ingredients for dinner; all the while she is lost in her own thoughts from the conversation. She was never the pirate's biggest fan and she feels that Emma could do so much better, but if he is whom Emma wants than who is she to judge. She really wants Emma to have her Happy Ending…but she can't help but think about the fact that it was herself, not the pirate, who ultimately had saved Emma from the darkness. When Emma had tried to thank her, she responded that she was only repaying the favor. But Regina knows that no matter what the circumstance of the other woman becoming the dark one, she would have fought like hell to save her.

"If Robin proposed…would you accept?" The question seems so out of the blue, and it immediately pulls Regina from her thoughts.

"To be honest I'm not sure" She replies tentatively. "Marriage didn't exactly work out for me so well the first time."

"But if you're in love this time, shouldn't it be different?" Emma asks

"One would think but…" Emma can't see Regina's face as she says this but she notices that the brunette has stopped chopping the onions, which she had pulled out for dinner. " I didn't hate King Leopold when we were first married. I may have resented him slightly for having any part in my separation from Daniel but when we first met…he was nice. Even after we were married he was nice to me for a while. However, I quickly grew to resent him more and more. I was never a priority to him. He ignored me most of the time. Snow was his world; which of course didn't help my growing animosity toward her any. She was his daughter and it made sense, but I wasn't even his second priority. He barely gave me a second thought, especially after he realized that I could not produce an heir…" she sighs heavily "I just never want to be put into that role again." After a beat she continues. "It is one of the reasons that it was so easy for me to accept magic lessons from Rumple. I felt like a priority to him. He paid attention to me because, however misguided his reasons were, he believed in me and my powers. Plus, having magic… I was able to put myself first even if no one else was going to." She finishes softly

"You think that you're not Robin's top priority?" Emma asks skeptically…and a little angrily if she was being honest. How could he make Regina feel that way?!

"I know Roland and this new baby come first, as well they should, but after everything that happened with Marian/Zelena I can't help feeling like I'm not even his second choice. I constantly feel guilty for wanting him to choose me."

"That's really not fair to you Regina!" Emma says a little more forcefully than necessary. She takes a deep breath to calm down before continuing. " I know you love him, but if he makes you feel this way, than why are you still with him?"

"First it's because I know he does love me…but really it's the fairy dust getting to my head. If I can't make it work with the person I am destined by magic to be with, than what chance do I have of ever finding my Happy Ending?" Regina finally turns around as she says this and Emma can see the pleading look in her eyes.

"Regina that fairy dust is bull shit!" Emma exclaimed. Regina raised her eyebrows in shock and concern for all of Emma's sudden outbursts.

"Breathe through it Emma" She says as she walks over to the blonde and puts a hand on her shoulder.

Emma instantly feels more relaxed. The hand on her shoulder grounds her. So she breathes deeply. Still warily watching her, Regina takes her hand and leads her over to the sofa so they can sit more comfortably.

"What I meant to say," Emma starts again once they are sitting "is that maybe the fairy dust is irrelevant"

"But fairy dust is never wrong?"

"I know that but…honestly Regina, when did Tinkerbell use that dust on you? Almost forty years ago? A lot has happened since then." Emma sighs and then starts listing all the major events in Regina's life. Counting them off on her fingers. "The King's death, the Curse, adopting Henry, The curse breaking, your mother coming back, and then another curse, your sister, gaining light magic, saving me, accepting all of us Charmings as a sort of Family-"

"A Family?" Regina scoffs

"Yes" Emma says bluntly. She leaves no room for argument. She knows how Regina feels about them whether the brunette will ever admit it or not.

"What I'm trying to say is that…do you really think you are the same person you were all those years ago? Is Robin? Yeah maybe if you had met him at that moment in the Enchanted Forrest you would have been able to run away and he would have kept you from dark magic. And you clearly have a connection so maybe he is destined to be in your life in some way…but maybe just not in the way you thought." Emma looks into her eyes to gauge Regina's reaction to her words. She really hopes the other women won't be furious, but Emma doubts she will be. Regina has seemed a little…broken. Emma didn't really notice when the Dark One curse first broke, but now she is realizing that Regina had been that way since then. It's like the fire in her has diminished to a flickering flame.

When Regina finally responds it is not to answer Emma's question but to ask one of her own.

"When did we start talking about my relationship? Stop deflecting Emma, and face the reality of your own situation." None of this was said harshly, but there was certainly more power to her voice then their had been. " Does Hook make you a priority?"

Pause

"Yeah…" Emma knows logically that this is true but somehow she still can't get over her irrational anger at Hook for not doing more to save her while she was the Dark One.

"But...?" Regina asks, sensing that Emma has more to say. However when the silence stretches, Regina decides to ask another question. "Is Hook a priority of yours?"

That got Emma's attention. She snaps her head up and looks at the brunette.

Regina can see all different emotions playing out in Emma's eyes. Anger at the accusation. Confusion as she thinks about the question. Then sadness and anxiety. Then the blonde puts her elbows on her knees and rests her head in her hands. Regina lets her sit like that for a few moments until she notices that Emma has started crying lightly.

Despite only having ever hugged the other woman once (Right after they defeated the darkness) she instinctually pulled the woman to herself.

The side hug position was quite awkward but the hug itself felt nice. Emma relaxed under the other woman's hold. Relaxing her body only led to more silent tears to be shed though. Eventually she started to feel ashamed that she is crying to Regina about boy problems. So she fumbles for words, trying to explain to Regina that she is crying about so much more than just Hook.

"I'm just…tired. I'm tired of being angry all the time… I'm tired of having to fight for control of my emotions. I'm tired of having to deny myself of what I want. I'm tired of feeling guilty…even though I know it's what I deserve. And I'm just… physically tired." she chokes out the last words as more tears begin to fall.

Regina pulls Emma even closer so that they are more comfortably resting against the couch. Again, she gives Emma a few moments of peace. She didn't imagine the road to recovery from being the Dark One would be easy, but she had no idea that Emma was this distressed. Whenever she had seen Emma these last two weeks, the other woman had been surrounded by people. Someone was always talking to her and showing her that they care. And although Regina could see that Emma was unusually quiet, she had not shown her pain so obviously. Regina realizes now that Emma was putting up a front to make other people feel better. Forever the savior, thinking about others over herself. Regina thinks bitterly.

Regina then notices that the sun has set and the room is significantly darker. How long had they been sitting there? Henry should be home any minute from his after-school book club. She is about to tell Emma that she needs to finish dinner when she sees that the other woman is asleep. Regina gently moves her so that she is lying down, and drapes a throw-blanket over her body. Before Regina leaves she can't help but to stop and appreciate the change in blonde's features. In sleep, Emma almost looks relaxed and happy.

Emma wakes to the sound of silverware gently clanking against plates and a delicious smell that she is really hoping is mashed potatoes. She then remembers where she is, and why, and she groans. However, when she looks down at the blanket on top of her a small smile appears at the thought of Regina taking care of her.

They have certainly come a long way.

Emma gets up and makes her way into the kitchen. Henry sees her while setting the table and gives a huge grin

"Hey Ma"

"Hey Kid"

Regina walks in and sets a ceramic bowl filled with corn on the table.

" How was your nap dear?" She asks when she looks up.

"Good…thanks for letting me sleep. I think I really needed it."

"Of course"

Henry looks between his mother's curiously but doesn't comment. They then all sit down to dinner together. Emma is ecstatic to see that there are indeed mashed potatoes on the table, as well as chicken and corn.

Emma expected the dinner to be slightly awkward after having cried on Regina's shoulder less than two hours ago, but it was far from it. Henry chatted away happily, needing very few prompts to continue. Regina and Emma even bickered a little about way Emma was mashing all her food together on her plate before she ate it. It of course disgusted Regina, so Emma began to mush it slow and deliberately just to watch the displeased look on her face.

Overall, it had been a nice, normal, family dinner.

After they had cleared the table, Henry announced that he had a lot of homework to do and so he hugged his blonde mother and ran upstairs.

"How old are you Henry? You know better than to run up the stairs!" Regina called behind him as she rolled her eyes.

"Sorry Mom" he yelled back

Emma chucked at their antics and went to put on her coat.

"You can stay if you'd like." Regina offered as she leaned against the doorframe watching Emma.

"I want to, but unfortunately I think I should go home."

"I suppose we both have a lot of thinking to do"

"Yeah"

Emma is now standing on Regina's doorstep. They are both just staring at each other. Both of their eyes are filled with the compassion and understanding that they have for the other.

Emma realizes that they have been staring a little too long but doesn't know what to say. How do you say goodbye to someone after the day they had together? Should she hug her?

"Thanks again Regina" She says as she breaks eye contact. It had become a little too intense for her.

"Anytime dear" Regina responds

" 'Night Regina" Emma says as she turns around to leave.

"Goodnight Miss Swan" Emma hears softly in response as she walks down the path to her car.

As Emma gets into her car to leave she realizes that she is quite possibly more confused than ever. Going to the mansion had done little to help her sort out her jumbled mind, and yet…somehow her heart felt lighter.