Lucas n' Jar jar
" In the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make."-Paul Mccartney
Chapter 1: The Beginning of the End
May 4th, about 65 million years ago
The songs of pteranodons filled the prehistoric morning sky as a lowly Ankylosaur feasted on a primordial berry bush. The peaceful creature savoured every single succulent bite of the tasty piece of vegetation as any meal you have in the infamously brutal cretaceous period may very well be your last. He had nearly stripped the plant clean, before realizing that he should get going on his way, he would not want to be separated from the herd after all. Little did he know, that his reptilian life would soon change forever. He picked up the pace of his heavy steps in an attempt to catch up to his herd, which was within view, but still quite aways away. Then, without warning, a massive tyrannosaur emerged from the treeline with its massive teeth bared, ready for the kill. It let out a blood curdling cry as it opened it's massive, jagged jaws and attempted to munch the poor herbivore, but, right as he was about to bite down, a sudden flash of light filled the once blue sky. The two dinosaurs looked up in disbelief, as the sky had now turned bright red. A massive, booming sound filled the air as they saw a large, burning object penetrate the atmosphere several time the speed of sound. This event would bring about the end of the time of the dinosaurs. The tyrannosaur, being much taller than the young ankylosaur, looked up at the incoming meteor in horror...for it was no meteor at all. "CANNONBALL!" screamed George Lucas as his floral swim trunks began to burn up upon reentry to the planet. "OH FUCK!" sputtered the carnivore, sensing his imminent death. He then looked down at the ankylosaur, who had soiled itself in terror. "It's over baby. Hold me." Then the two lizards, once enemies, embraced, knowing that the presence of a friend would make the transition into death slightly more tolerable. The Lucas God chuckled wildly as he collided with the earth, killing nearly all living things, and shattering every tectonic plate, leveling the very foundations of the once life supporting planet. The resulting ash cloud would surround the earth's atmosphere for centuries, keeping out any chances of life. The God stood proudly atop a mountain, looking down on the now decimated terrain, "Huh...did I gain some weight? Oh well!" The Lucas chuckled as he strode proudly through the wreckage, for millennia he wandered the wastes...waiting for life to return again.
Chapter 2: Daddy's Lil' Man
July 2nd, about two million years ago
The Lucas marched across the desert, sweating profusely, and experiencing a painful full body sunburn as a result of his countless years of being naked under the scorching sun. He then suddenly stopped dead in his tracks. "Well I'll be damned." He saw a caveman standing by a nearby tree. Trying to collect fruit from it's branches. "What up you little shit!?" the Lucas yelled jokingly, however, the caveman jumped back and raised his spear in defence. "You want those fruits right? You can't uh...reach them?" The caveman nodded. "Ha! Thank god this faggot speaks english!" Lucas chuckled as he walked towards the tree and attempted to get the fruits, but due to his own lack of a ladder, and laziness, he turned back to the caveman, "Look why don't I just show you hot to make fire or something?" The caveman nodded again, the Lucas raised his hand, and zapped a nearby piece of wood with lightning, making it ignite into flames. The primitive jumped back. "Won't you calm the fuck down it's just fucking fire!" Lucas added more wood to the fire, feeding it's glowing blaze. The caveman, who Lucas grew to call Fritolay, soon learned the importance of fire. Lucas chuckled as he saw him finally enjoying the fire. It was so nice to see that the two of them came together to be constructive. It really touched his heart to build such a connection, so much so that he almost felt a bit bad when he picked up a nearby rock bludgeoned fritolay to death with it. Lucas chuckled as he picked up the frail remains of the cave dweller and roasted his corpse over the fire. Fritolay tasted like shit but, hey, beggars can't be choosers. Lucas, once done devouring the man, stopped and for the first time ever, thought for a moment. He felt something...something deep within him...it was loneliness. Lucas reached into his lift titty fold (the one closest to his heart), and pulled out a golden locket, he opened it and looked upon the photo of hayden that lie within. "I miss you buddy…" a single, salty tear dripped down Lucas' face as he continued to peer at his former lover, "I'm so alone." He looked up at the desert again. It was night now. The stars themselves seemed to speak to the God...almost calling out to him. They seemed to represent that even in these dark times...there are always lights full of hope in the limitless darkness. Lucas grew angry with himself and threw the locket on the ground, crushing it under his tubby foot. "I will make someone then." Lucas looked at a puddle in a nearby cave, where one, solitary seamonkey swam. Lucas immediately began to jerk is naughty stick. He closed his eyes….and he thought about all he had done...all his pain, anger, fear and….love? He poured it all into his masturbation. Until a large splatter of purple spunk hit the seamonkey, giving it serious brain damage...but it also genetically reconstructed the aquatic creature, making it take on the shape of a hideous, obnoxious, racist and most importantly, CGI abomination. The Lucas God chuckled as he watched his malevolent creation slowly grow and become bipedal. "With the power of Industrial Light and Magic I command uhh...for a fucking son goddammit!" Just like that, lightning struck the beast, breathing life into its hideous carcass. "Meesah Jar jar Binks!" Lucas smiled and fell to his knees in disbelief and wonder, "Meesah your humble servant! Moy moy!" The beast continued as it immediately began to shit itself and roll around in the resulting dung pile. "No." Lucas said, as he wiped the dung off of the amphibian. "You are my son." He put his hands on Jar jar's shoulders before planting a wet kiss on the end of his reptilian snout, "Nobody will ever touch you. You are perfect. I have created you so we can be together forever! You and me! It is our destiny my boy!" Jar jar smiled, revealing his near endless rows of serrated teeth. "DADDY!" Moaned Jar jar as he jumped into his father's strong arms. Lucas chuckled as he began to carry his offspring to an unknown future, "Let's go my boy...let's go make some friends!"
Chapter 3: Father and Son
May 3rd, 1938 Rome
Mussolini's personal dining hall was filled with laughter as four men enjoyed a succulent feast. "You are a very funny man Georgie!" Hitler said, nearly choking on a piece of schnitzel. Lucas sat there contently next to his smiling son, Jar jar. The two where the sharpest dressed there, decked out to the nines in luxury golden/diamond weave tuxedos, dark purple in colour. "Your jokes truly are magnificent!" Mussolini agreed as he unhinged his jaw, not unlike a basilisk, and swallowed his eighth serving of spaghetti in a single gulp. "Very funny daddy! Ha HA!" Jar jar said as he slapped his knee. "Well what can I say...I'm ahead of my time! Ha Ha!" Mussolini snapped his fingers, "Scott! Can we get another drink for this man here!" A bald man with a soul a soul patch emerged from a nearby corridor, "Scott Barstead reporting for duty!" The servant said, heiling Hitler. Mussolini leaned in to the party guests and whispered,"This is Scott, his son's in a mental hospital so be nice." They all chuckled for hours on end. "So now that we have uhhh..eaten our dinner...It's time we brought up the real problem." The other three members looked at Lucas quizzically. "What do you mean?" Hitler asked as he leaned in closer. "To put it simply..." Jar jar stood up, ripped off all of his clothes and slammed his hands on the table with the force of an atomic bomb. "THE JEWS!" Lucas sat quietly, nodding slowly, "Couldn't have said it better myself son." Jar jar then dipped his gungan shaft into a nearby soup ball, sucking up its contents as if it were a straw. "Jews?" Mussolini asked. Lucas shrugged,"They gotta go." Mussolini thought for a moment, "what do you want us to do?" Lucas smiled. He had them right where he wanted them. "It's simple...kill them." Hitler's mouth hung open as if he had just realized he left the stove on at home. "It's brilliant...How did-" "I think of such a brilliant plan?" Lucas interrupted, "Like I said...I'm ahead of my time." Lucas straightened his bowtie and chuckled, he then took a mighty swig of the italian chardine that lie before him. "I will fund the whole thing, all you need to do...is wage war on the world." Mussolini and Hitler looked at each other, leaned in and kissed passionately, to symbolically show their unity and devotion to Lucas' plan. "OOOOOOWEEEE!" Shouted Jar jar as he ran wildly naked through the hallways in joy. Lucas watched his boy and chuckled. It seems like things were falling into place.
Chapter 4: The Change
May 24th, 1977
"This is where Daddy works." Lucas entered the film studio, holding hand with his son. "I'm supposed to have that damned "Star Wars" picture released tomorrow but Harrison Ford keeps fucking busting my ass!" He led Jar jar on the set. Then he saw him. Mark Hamill. Jar jar began to blush and ran crying into the bathroom. Lucas followed the gungan inside and locked the door behind him. "What's wrong son?" Jar jar broke down and began to cry. "Meesah sick big Daddy." Lucas felt nothing but sadness flow through him, "What do you mean son?!" Jar jar turned to face his father. Lucas gasped as he saw that Jar jar has a massive bulge protruding from the crotch of his pants. "Every time meesah see Mark it gets hard and meesah feels tickly in dah boombahs!" Lucas chuckled and released a sigh of relief. "Don't worry my boy! It's all normal! You're just going through puberty!" Jar jar laughed, "Oh okiday!" Lucas chuckled again, "I was noticing that your testes were getting harrier! HA!" Lucas all of the sudden had a very wide smile, as if he had just come up with a brilliant idea. "Here…" He said as he pulled out a reel of film from within his denim jeans, "Jerk your willy unto this and watch the magic happen!" Jar jar did so, he stroked his veiny shaft over and over, faster and faster, harder and harder, until finally he spurted a massive gungan load unto the film, making it glow purple. Lucas chuckled and fell to the floor, "You did it!" He quickly dragged his son to a projector, placed his cumstained film inside of its mechanism and watched in wonder as the entire "Star Wars" film was completely finished, like magic. "How did…" Jar jar started, only to be interrupted by his father, who now held his shoulder, "It's called semen. In time...you will learn to control it. You will be able to create things beyond imagining...like I did for you. It's a beautiful thing my boy." The two sat together, and watched all two hours and five minutes of a new hope.
Chapter 5: Scarab
July 15th, 1985
Lucas and Jar Jar lay side by side, peacefully, as they sunbathed in the vast egyptian dunes. The sapphire sky was not visited by a single cloud all day and the two men were soaking up every drop of sun they could take. "Daddy does yousah think it'll be perfect like this forever?" Lucas said nothing, he only shut his eyes. These have been the best days of his life he couldn't even imagine any of this coming to an end. He loved his son. With all of his heart he did. He is the only true good he had ever created, and the times they have shared together...he would trade anything to live it all again. "I hope it will be my son. I would want nothing more." Lucas drifted off to sleep. His mind went wild with dreams of fire and rage...or where they visions? A soft voice spoke to him. "Lucas. The days are coming where an army will rise up against you. They will challenge your rule and attempt to stop you. This army will rise from your long lost adversary: Jeff Goldblum. They will attempt to end your tyranny once and for all...but it shall be in vain. However, on the final day, the battle shall be far from over. For on the final day, man will take from God what God treasures most, and in the darkest hour, when the children have no heads, man will try to strike God dead." Lucas woke up to the sound of screaming...Jar jar's screams. He levitated to his feet, in a state of total panic. " JAR JAR!? SON!? WHERE ARE YOU?!" The screams seemed to be coming from every direction, yet he could see nothing for miles. Lucas flew all the way to orbit and looked down upon the entire desert with his laser accurate vision, scanning every potential crack and crevice where his son might be...but it was no use. Lucas crashed back onto the ground and fell to his knees in defeat and total horror. Then...he looked down at his voluptuous belly to see a sticky note. He delicately peeled the note from his leathery tummy and brought it up close to his face so that he could read it. The writing was written in immaculately beautiful cursive, but since Lucas never made it past grade 2, he found it incredibly difficult to read. The note read as such:
Hello old friend, caught you napping and thought it would be best to take junior while you were unable to fight back. You see I have an army at my disposal and I am not afraid to use it. I will do fucked up shit to your son Lucas...stuff I am not at all proud of. Unless of course we can work all this out. Meet me at the Scarab temple just south of the pyramids. Come alone and peacefully. Your reign ends now George. Sincerely, Jeff Goldblum.
Lucas crushed the letter in his hands with all of his godly strength. He screamed wildly as he soared towards the Scarab temple. He would have his revenge.
Chapter 6: The Order
Lucas created a crater as he collided with the desert floor. He looked upon the scarab temple. It's ancient egyptian architecture was, without a doubt, the work of the Goldblum. "GOLDBLUM!" Lucas yelled at the ancient structure, "LET MY SON GO SO I CAN KICK YOUR LITTLE ASS!" His voice echoes through the corridors without a response. Until he heard it. The Goldblum's fateful cackle. He emerged from behind one of the pillars of the temple, wearing a black leather jacket and a wicked pair of shades. "Well well well, Look who finally has the upper hand!" Lucas turned bright red, shaking with anticipation and rage. "Let me see him!" Lucas yelled. The Goldblum only stood there and smiled. Lucas, tired of the pharaoh's games took a step towards the temple, "I wouldn't do that if I were you." as the Goldblum said this, at least fifteen snipers emerged from every conceivable hiding spot and lined up a laser pointer on lucas. Lucas' rage quickly turned into joy. "The order of the scarab? HA! I thought your people died long ago...I'm impressed but it be no matter, do you honestly believe meer mortals and bullets can stop me? Come now old friend...we both know I'm literally bigger than this." Lucas chuckled hysterically. However the Goldblum was left unphased, still smiling. Two guards emerged from the temple, carrying Jar jar in hand, with a burlap sack over his disgusting head. He was kicking and screaming wildly, though it was muffled under the bag. Lucas turned angry again, "LET HIM GO!" The Goldblum laughed. "No Lucas. Countless have died in your brutal campaign. Your power has gone unchallenged for millennia and now it meets it's end." Lucas spat at the Goldblum, "FUCK YOU GOLDBLUM!" Lucas exploded into a terrifying, giant purple ethereal form. Now the size of a fifty-story skyscraper, Lucas looked down on the entire temple, making Goldblum's soldiers scream in horror. Lucas' Voice was now magnified fifty-fold "FOOL! I AM GOD!" The Goldblum was still left unmoved. "I know you heard the voice too." Lucas was silenced and shrank back to his near human form. "You had the vision too?" Goldblum removed his sunglasses and looked lucas dead in the eye. Not with anger, not with rage but with compassion. He walked towards Lucas and stopped but only a foot from him. "It was the voice of the universe the voice that never lies. Our fates are intertwined and our battle will only bring destruction and loss for both of us." Lucas thought for a moment. What if he was right? What if this madness and his thirst for power led to both their downfall? "Why capture my son?" The Goldblum looked at the floor. "We needed to get your attention and make sure you wouldn't harm anyone." He put his hand on Lucas' shoulder, "We can end this struggle today. You go with Jar jar, I leave with my men and we put balance to the universe. If this continues, the prophecy will be made true and we will both fall. Old friend. Please." Lucas chuckled and put his hands on the Goldblum's shoulders. "Ohhhh did you honestly believe you could save your own skin so easily? I WILL KILL YOU FOR WHAT YOU HAVE DONE." The Goldblum looked at the floor again, sweating this time. "I'm sorry to hear that old friend. I was hoping I could count on you to change your mind." without warning the Goldblum raised his other hand as if to strike Lucas with an unknown object, but Lucas, with his incredible reflexes, disarmed the other God. A syringe fell to the floor filled to the brim with AIDS. Lucas looked up at his adversary, pleasantly surprised by his attempt. "Trying to stab me in the back I see? Smart. Trying to give me AIDS too? Very smart. I'm impressed...didn't think you'd sink that low you insufferable cunt!" Goldblum knew he couldn't battle Lucas directly, it would be suicide! So he had to think fast. "KILL JAR JAR!" Lucas let go of the Goldblum and pushed him to the side, "NOOOO!" and just like that, Lucas took on the form of a bolt of purple energy and bolted across the temple several times the speed of light, impacting each and every single one of the gunmen, disintegrating each of them on impact before they even had a chance to see what hit them. Lucas, once he finished killing the guards, He pulled the sack off of Jar jar's head and turned to face Goldblum again...however he had vanished without a trace. Lucas helped Jar jar to his feet and embraced his son. "I will make that bastard pay for this. I promise you my son...nobody will ever hurt you again." Jar jar looked past his father...to the syringe that lie on the ground. "What is tat daddy?" Lucas looked back at it. "AIDS" Lucas adjusted his spectacles, "Only two things can kill a God my boy. AIDS...and another God." Lucas put a cap on it, and placed it in his pocket for safekeeping. Jar jar began to cry. "He was gunna kill yousah?" "Yes my son...but don't worry...he ' be alive for much longer.
Chapter 7: Strictly Business
May 3rd, 2002
Many towers lined the New York skyline, but one in particular, stood out as one of the most scientific. The Oscorp tower was one to be witnessed, not only for it's incredible height, but also it's unique curvy architecture was a brilliant contrast to the usual straight parallels of most other buildings. On the top floor, in a board room, Willem Dafoe was on his hands and knees bent over, "addressing" his investors. "If you just give me more time I could create an army for the united states that would decimate every single one of those sand apes in the middle east! Just give me two weeks I beg of you!" Every single one of the curmudgeonly old white men, looked at each other in disapproval. "We're sorry Willem." one moustached businessman said, "But in two weeks Oscorp will be dead. I'm sorry. We're Pulling out." Just like that all eighteen of the business men pulled their limp penises out of the actor's ass, leaving Dafoe's ass scared, empty and deformed. "DON'T YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I'VE SACRIFICED!?" WIllem screamed as he pulled up his pants, however by the time he turned around again, all the investors had stepped off of the table and left the room. He buried his head in his hands and sobbed uncontrollably. "I'M SUCH A WHORE!" He cried. "Quite the presentation." Willem lifted his head to see a pudgy George Lucas in a suave black business suit standing before him. "I'll help you build up this company my friend, and give you all the funding you need. All I want in return is to help you in your lab." Willem looked up at Lucas quizzically, as if he didn't believe what was happening. "Of course! Whatever you want!" Lucas smiled. Finally...he could secure a foothold on the world.
Over the next several years , Lucas and Willem created numerous scientific wonders and machines, making Oscorp one of the most valued companies in the world...but one night. Everything changed.
June 18th, 2015
Dafoe quietly entered the lab one night, it was his day off, but he wanted surprise his partner with the news that the investors were coming back as a result of their successful construction of the underwater city off the coast of Norway. The two of them would finally be stupid rich! Willem entered the lab's main chamber to see Lucas standing there, writing on his clipboard and wearing nothing but an unbuttoned lab coat. Lucas did not see Willem however, as he was too busy looking upon the olympic swimming pool sized tank, filled the the brim with sea monkeys. "I see the final shipment of sea monkeys came in!" Dafoe said, making Lucas jump, but finally smile. "Oh yes my friend HA! Soon we will have all we need." Lucas chuckled as he went back to his clipboard. Willem approached the tank and placed his hand upon the glass. Admiring the countless little insect like creatures that swam around inside. "What exactly do you plan on doing with them?" Lucas chuckled as he set the clipboard on a nearby table, "Ohhhhh soon you'll see." Lucas threw off his lab coat, making him completely nude, he slowly walked up a set stairs that allowed him to stand on the edge of the tank. "Is this for project Bombad? The army for the US military? Are you gonna use some sort of mutagen?" " Lucas chuckled again, "Yes and no….Yes it's project Bombad, yes it's an army...but not for you mere mortals." Dafoe looked down at Lucas' clipboard and gasped in horror, for upon it, was a primitive, childlike crayon drawing of a bunch of hideous abominations eating people. "Lucas! What is this?!" Lucas looked over his naked shoulder and smiled down at his former partner, "You have only tapped the vastness of human potential, your kind is to dangerous, and must be obliterated. I will bring about your end." And just like that, Lucas beat his massive erect cock like a blue man beats a drum. "NOOOOO!" Screamed Willem, but it was in vain, Lucas' fluorescent purple splooge cascaded like a waterfall into the tank, causing a massive explosion that toppled the entire building...but when the dust settled, and rubble filled the streets of New York, an endless horde of Gungans poured from the demolished building, sprinted through the city streets and finally dove into the atlantic ocean. Lucas had his army. It would soon be time.
Chapter 8: The Final Day
May 4th, 2077 (Sixty years after the Lucas event)
It may have been foggy, but Lucas and Jar jar where having yet another perfect day. They had done nothing but ravage the corpses they found laying about the endless ruin that once was earth. They were about to call it a night until….they heard a distant scream. The scream of a Gungan! Lucas and Jar Jar pulled their dicks out of the corpses and rushed through the derelict city towards the sound. Who could have attacked the Gungan? Humanity had gone extinct over sixty years ago! When hey finally got to the scene of the crime, the two gasped in horror. What they saw...chilled them to the bone. They saw ten gungan corpses scattered about a clearing, they were pale in complexion and all of them lacked their heads. "OH NO!" Screamed Jar jar. Lucas then covered the gungan's stalked eyes, his son shouldn't see such things. "Who has done this to my sons!?" Then he noticed, through the thickness of the fog, a forest of wooden stakes, each with the head of a gungan impaled upon it. He fell to his knees. Only to see, that on the ground, written in the blood of his sons was the words " Man Takes from God" and in that moment Lucas remembered the prophecy he had heard long ago; that on the final day, the battle shall be far from over. For on the final day, man will take from God what God treasures most, and in the darkest hour, when the children have no heads, man will try to strike God dead. "Impossible…" Lucas said as his face turned red with rage. It was all coming true...could man really defeat him? Not on his fucking watch. "I swear to christ I'm gonna buttfuck whoewver did this to OBLIVION!" Jar jar tackle hugged his father and straddled his waist. "Me too daddy!" He then planted a wet kiss on Lucas' rosey nose. Lucas chuckled, he could always count on his son to cheer him up. Lucas continued to kiss Jar jar passionately, and pulled the amphibious abomination closer him, as he felt Jar jar's two metre long tongue slip down his throat and enter his stomach. Lucas chuckled as he felt his internal organs be tickled by his son's flexible appendage. They continued playing tonsil tennis for hours. They would get around to killing whomever did this...eventually but now...bliss ;)
Chapter 9: The Darkest Hour
Lucas and Jar jar but their clothes back on, and looked around for answers, they searched for hours but then decided that they should maybe follow the direction of the arrow written in blood on the floor left by the attacker. After just a couple of minutes following the arrow they stumbled upon a building that was miraculously still intact. "Holy fuck a building!" Lucas yelled, he was impressed that the structure was still in one piece. Then...suddenly Lucas' fupa senses were tingling, as if something terrible was about to happen to Jar jar, without hesitation, Lucas jumped in between Jar jar and the building, allowing him to catch the bullet that was about to hit his son right in the gabber. Lucas then turned the bullet and released it, causing it to return to sender. "FUCK!" A man screamed as he fell from the roof of the building, gripping his now bleeding belly. Lucas chuckled and clapped slowly as he approached the broken man that now lie on the ground. "What a fucktard!" looking down a the man, Lucas found him oddly familiar...then he finally pieced it together. "Peter motherfucking Parker!" The communications teacher looked back up at lucas and flashed a toothy grin, blood dripping from his mouth, Lucas bent down to look at him closer, "'How the hell are you motherfucker?" Parker continued to smile, "Not so good at the moment! I'm currently bleeding out!" Lucas chuckled, "Well then maybe, you shouldn't have tried to fuck with me and my son!" Lucas then jabbed his thumb into the fresh bullet wound in Peter's tummy, making him wince in pain. "Now...Who do you work for." Parker looked nervously up at the Lucas God, practically shaking in his boots, "I work alone...you know that better than anyone." Lucas smiled, "Oh I don't think so nomad, you are a God...but a lesser one, you have not the gull to work up such a plot on your own. Not to mention the prophecy says man will take from me so where is the man? Because all I see is a pussy ass shitty excuse for a God!" "Never start a sentence with "Because" Lucas." A bellowing voice uttered from the roof of the building. "WHO THE FUCK?!" screamed Lucas looked up to see the man standing there, "It's seriously improper grammar, not that I expected much from you...you always were a shit writer." The man then dove off of the roof with the finesse of a peacock and landed with the majesty of a raceing stalian. It was, without a doubt, JJ Abrams. "Well well fucking well!" Lucas began with raise fists, "Looks like I need to put you in your uh...place you little pixie lookin' kike." JJ raised his fists in return, "Your reign of terror ends here you cunty fatass!" Lucas turned bright red with rage, He wasn't fat. He was voluptuously big boned. "First you ruin my fuckin' franchise and now you wanna ruin my family life?" JJ looked at Lucas with a fury that burned brighter than a million suns, "You destroyed the world! You've killed billions and caused havoc throughout history! Today we end you! Just as Goldblum would have wanted." Lucas began to make his way towards the jewish filmmaker, but as soon as he took a step away from Jar jar, JJ turned to his downed ally, "Parker! NOW!" Peter nodded, pulled the bullet out of his spleen, and with an arm that would have won the world series a million times over, threw the lead projectile at an inconceivably ludicrous speed right at Jar jar's head. "OH NO!" Jar jar screamed but it was too late, the bullet smashed straight through Jar jar's reptilian skull, killing him on impact and splattering his little brain into a thick paste which now covered the floor. Jar jar was silenced. Lucas looked upon this act with disbelief. The trickster had been faking his wound this hole time. Peter looked Lucas in the eye as he stood up and dusted off his immaculately handsome ebony suit. "I can't believe you thought a single bullet could kill me! Only AIDS or another God can kill a God remember!? HA!" "EXACTLY." Lucas said with a bellowing voice as he removed the syringe full of AIDS from within his coat pocket. Paul's owl eyes widened as he felt the needle get violently jabbed right in between his eyes and fill his arteries with the virus. He screamed in pain as blood began to drip from his forehead. "YOU TOOK EVERYTHING FROM ME!" Lucas, then punched straight through the photographer's chest, making his arm punch straight through his back, whilst holding his still beating heart in his clenched grip. "KALIMA MOTHERFUCKER!" Lucas screamed as he pulled his arm out of his enemy's body and let his corpse drop to the floor. Lucas then turned towards JJ who was now cowering in fear. "YOU." Lucas said as he grabbed JJ's foot and hurled him across the canyon, making him land right on top of Peter's mangled remains. "You really thought you could win didn't you?" Lucas said calmly as he slowly made his way towards the soon to be departed jew, "You really thought you could just kill my son? My entire world? And get away with it? Ohhhhhhhh you are painfully mistaken you little curly haired fuck!" Lucas then began to unzip his jeans, "I'm going to enjoy fucking you JJ...I'm gonna enjoy tearing you apart from the inside out." Lucas then removed his denim pants, making each of his three crimson cocksaber's ignite with a haunting glow. "I'M GONNA FUCK YOU LIKE YOU FUCKED ME JJ! SEE YOU IN HELL!" JJ, like the clever jew he was, then thought of an idea! Fucking! Of course! Lucas violently placed JJ on his hands and knees and removed his pants to reveal JJ's wrinkly pale cheeks, ripe for the plundering. Lucas wedged his middle cocksaber deep into JJ's ass making him moan in pain, but then, in a single motion, JJ ripped Peter's now AIDS infected veiny penis off of his corpse and stabbed the Lucas God in the eye with it, filling his skull with thick, sickening love juice. "NOOOOOO AIDS!" Lucas screamed as his skin slowly melted off of his bones leaving nothing but a purple pulp with a hideously big boned skeleton lying in the middle. JJ turned around and looked upon his kill with disbelief. "I DID IT! I won!" JJ ran through the wastes arms in the air, screaming with joy, until...he collapsed painfully with the ground. He coughed furiously as he rolled over onto his back. He began screaming in pain as he looked down to see a red spot of blood appear on his chest. Evil is to be born, die, then live again.