AN: Not one of my best. XP I wrote this a while ago just because I wanted to. I probably could have used a better plot device, but this is a short one-shot and parental death is the quickest. Whoo! Wait, not whoo. Death isn't a good thing. Unless it's Kenny. He'll be back anyway.

I'll be submitting another story soon... when I finish it. XP And thanks to Soul Flash and xEmerald Isle, who both inspired me to get off my lazy ass and submit more Kyman. XD

I, Stan Marsh, am Kyle Broflovski's best friend in the whole wide world. We share secrets and spend Saturday nights together in one of our bedrooms. We play the same video games and we watch the same TV shows. We dance the same, and we always do it when we're alone together and have retarded music on. We share clothes and test answers. We eat the same food (if it's Kosher). We're like Siamese twins joined at the hip. We are Super Best Friends.

From a young age, Kyle and I knew that getting a girlfriend (or boyfriend, dare I say it) did not lessen our friendship. Even if I was taking Wendy out, I'd tell Kyle all about it when I got back. Only fights could separate us, and even then it didn't last long.

Even as Kyle and I grew older, nothing separated us. Sure, Kenny and Cartman stayed our friends too, but it's different with them. They're our friends, but we're closer to each other than to them. At least, that's how is usually was. When we got to fifteen I learned a very valuable lesson in friendship: no matter how close you are, you can still be afraid of what will happen when a huge secret comes out. I didn't know the feeling… but Kyle did.

Being the best friend of Kyle, it was my job to help him through tough times and things like that. Therefore, when Cartman started his insults, I was there to back Kyle up and make him feel better when it was done. I never really understood how that fatass got to him so badly, but he did. Either way I had to threaten him to leave Kyle alone most of the time.

When we turned fourteen, Cartman had already started to calm down with the insults. But he never stopped calling us by what he assumed were our names: poor bastard, faggot, and Jew. You can guess who's who by yourself. Sure, he called us by our real names, but not too often. But we all called him fatass to make up for it. But as far as pushing Kyle's buttons went, Cartman had definitely calmed down. He still did it… just not all the time.

There came a time when Kyle and Cartman could stand each other, and they actually spent time going through progressive conversations instead of arguments. According to Kenny, when I was out of town, they usually spent time either with each other or with each other and Kenny. Kenny didn't really mind, seeing as he was the one Ispent time with when Kyle was gone. But slowly, Cartman was working his way into a section of Kyle's heart that wasn't open to many. Somehow, I didn't notice for quite some time.

When we turned fifteen, I was still oblivious to any of it, and neither Kenny nor I could guess what was really going on.

One day, as we sat at our usual lunch table, Kyle's phone started ringing.

"Shit. Can you guys hold on? I'm gonna go answer this."

I watched him walk to the bathroom, opening the phone halfway there. I didn't catch a glimpse of his face before he vanished behind the door.

"Who the fuck would call him during school hours?" Cartman growled. "That's fuckin' retarded."

"Probably some telemarketer," Kenny said with a little laugh. "I hate those bastards. They're probably calling to ask him about his nonexistent car or something."

I laughed and nodded. There was nothing too serious about the situation, so we eventually went back to eating our food and basking in silence. Kenny made some perverse comment, but Cartman took care of it, so I stayed quiet.

None of us were prepared for what happened next. Kyle raced past us, and I caught a glimpse of pure anguish on his face and heard the choked sobs coming from him. He fled the cafeteria before any of us could properly react.

Cartman stood up first. I couldn't understand why, and even more confusing was the worried look he wore. I watched dumbly as he raced after Kyle. Then Kenny jabbed me in the ribs, and I jolted up. We ran after the others as fast as we could. No one else followed us.

We caught up to them far down the hallway, past what seemed like hundreds of lockers. Kyle was leaning with his back against one, his face turned towards the ceiling as he cried miserably. Cartman was asking him what was wrong in a tone I'd never heard in his voice before.

"Kyle?" I ventured, stepping closer. He didn't seem to hear me.

"Kahl, please! Tell me what's wrong!" Cartman's voice took on some semblance of authority, but fear overlapped it.

Kenny and I stared in utter shock as Kyle jerked forward, wrapping his arms around Cartman and sobbing into his chest. At first, Cartman looked at us in a sort of embarrassed way, and then he hugged Kyle back.

"M-m-my mom is d-dead," Kyle choked out in between sobs. "Sh-she was in a c-car cr-cra-crash…" He then cried louder than ever, and he pushed his face even farther into Cartman's chest.

I wanted to reach out and comfort him so bad. I wanted to make him feel better, because that was my job as his best friend. I almost felt jealous of Cartman doing it, and that made me feel terrible.

"Kahl…" Cartman held him tighter, his eyes glistening with… tears? I almost couldn't believe it. "Kahl, please… please stop crying… it's gonna be okay… I'm here, Kahl, it's okay…"

"I w-wanna go… g-go h-h-home," Kyle whimpered.

Without a word, Cartman leaned down and picked Kyle up bridal-style. He started to walk past us, and then he arched an eyebrow and said, "You gahs comin'?" Kenny and I followed him wordlessly, both of us too shocked to process what we were seeing.

The walk to Kyle's house was miserable, seeing as Kyle's choked sobs were all that we heard the entire time. At some point, I touched the hand that was on Cartman's back, and Kyle responded by gripping my hand tightly. I felt better just for being able to comfort him in any way.

No one was home, but the door was unlocked, so we just walked right in. Cartman sat down on one side of the couch with Kyle in his lap, and Kenny and I sat on the other. When Kyle's sobs abated, he was hiccupping, and when they stopped there was just silence. None of us really knew what to say.

"Do you feel better?" Cartman eventually asked.

"Not really," Kyle said, his voice quiet and shaky. "But sort of."

"We're here for you, dude," I said.

"Yeah," Kenny added, sitting up a little more. "No matter what."

Kyle smiled faintly at us, and I hoped that our words had somehow helped him. I mean, what else can you do when your friend's parent dies?

I watched as Cartman pulled Kyle's hat off and began to stroke his red curls. I knew that something was between them that I hadn't noticed before, but I was secretly praying that they were just really close. If Kyle was gay, I didn't want him dating an ass like Cartman… even if he was being pretty nice at the moment.

"I love you, Kahl," Cartman said, which confirmed my fears. "You know that, right?"

At first, Kyle looked at us in a slightly fearful way. Then he looked up at Cartman and kissed his jaw. "I do… I love you too…"

We didn't talk very much until Kyle fell asleep. There really wasn't much to say. But once he was out, Cartman had some questions to answer.

"When did you and Kyle start dating?" I asked him.

He was still stroking Kyle's hair, and at first, it seemed like he either hadn't heard me or wasn't answering. But I think he was just deliberating. "A few months ago," came his reply, his eyes on Kyle's sleeping face.

"Why'd ya start dating?" Kenny asked.

Cartman sighed and looked up at us, and it was obvious that this was a topic he'd never wanted to discuss this with us. Ever. "When I stopped makin' fun of him so much, we got closer and stuff… Then when he was at mah house when Stan was out, we were playin' Truth or Dare, and I told him to kiss me, and he did. We, uh… we kissed for awhile and… Well, after that, it was his turn and I said truth. So he asked if I had a crush on him and I said yes. Do not ask me when I first started likin' him. So anyway, after that I dared him to date me and… here we are."

"And you actually love him?" I had to make sure.

"More than anything in the entire goddamn world," he growled through clenched teeth. "Now stop asking me fuckin' personal questions."

I chose to believe him, despite the fact that it was hard to understand any attraction between the two of them.

"Wow," Kenny said, shaking his head. "I can barely believe it. The Jew and Nazi, together at last…"

"I swear to god Kenneh, I munna kick you in the nuts."

We lapsed into silence for a while, and I started to try and remember any signs I'd seen of their relationship in the past. None came to mind, so either they were good at hiding it or I just didn't look hard enough.

"You gahs should probably go," Cartman said eventually. "I'll take care of him when he wakes up. 'Kay? Don't worry about it."

"You'd better," I said, standing up with Kenny. "If you fuck up, Cartman, I'll… I'll fucking kill you."

"He's hasn't come cryin' to you about me, has he? I'm good to him. I'm gonna help him through this."

I decided to trust him. Kyle could be a dolt sometimes, but I was positive that he knew what he was doing in the dating world. He had to for his own sake. And his mother was dead… if Cartman truly loved him, he would really make sure that Kyle could go on without her. I decided I would drop by later to properly comfort him, but for now… I'd leave it to Cartman.

"This is almost too much," Kenny said as we walked down the driveway. "Kyle's mom is dead andhe's dating Cartman. I can't even focus on both topics at once."

"Me neither," I confessed. "I keep thinking about the two of them… I feel inconsiderate for just dropping the topic of his mom. But I'll come by later to properly comfort him, ya know?"

"Yeah. Good plan. I would too, but I'll leave it to the Super Best Friend."

I grinned and put my hands in my pockets. "I'm good to him, don't you think? I've got to be the best best friend ever."

Kenny laughed. "I would agree with you if it was you Kyle was butt-fucking."

I punched Kenny in the shoulder and glared at him. "Oh, shut up, Kenny. We don't need to be butt fucking to be best friends."

We were quiet for a time, but it didn't last too long.

"Remember how Mrs. Broflovski started the war all those years ago?" I asked.

"Yeah," Kenny said, laughing. "That was a really memorable time. I'll miss that woman, as much as I hated her."

I nodded and laughed as well, but my mind was going right back to Kyle and Cartman. I knew that Kyle must have kept it from me because of how shocked I would be to know about it… but it hurt that my best friend didn't trust me with who he was with.

Oh well. I decided that I wouldn't let it bother me. I would stand by Kyle no matter what, even if he was dating Eric Cartman. This wouldn't change our friendship at all. And I would be there for him through this tragedy. It's my job as his Super Best Friend.

AN: DIDJA LIKE IT? I sure didn't. Okay, no, I liked it. Just... I mean... I like Fat Free better. And the story I'm working on. Kind of. BLEARGH. Cartman's accent in this fic makes me laugh. He's so fat. Anyway! Tell me how much you liked it. Or tell me you'd rather jerk off Stan's gay dog than ever read this again. Whichever you like! This is, after all, a free country. But if you insult my story I will have my pet octopus attack you. *disappears into the shadows*