Ch 1
Empty
Happiness. Sadness. Excitement. Shame. Hatred. Love. These are emotions that arguably assist in giving a human it's very nature. They drive morality, social interaction, motives, and other things.
But Ayano Aishi, a third year student at Akademi high school was a girl who knew none of these feelings.
She remembered being brought in to therapists and psychiatrists. Occasionally doctors; after all, when she was born, she didn't cry.
When she was born she was asleep and the nurse worried, occasionally giving her butt a tap to see if there would be a reaction. After remaining asleep after the tenth smack on the butt, the nurse was about to proclaim her fear to Ryoba, the mother, when the baby suddenly woke up and grabbed the nurse's arm, staring at her blankly.
From then on Ryoba was dismissive of Ayano having a "problem", while her husband was growing more and more frustrated and fearful of his daughter.
"What is wrong with my daughter?"
He asked the psychiatrist, Dr. Ito, in a quiet tone. Ayano, now at five years of age, stared at the wall blankly.
"You've known her for the five years she's walked this earth. You know that she doesn't react like normal children. I asked her how she felt today, and she said 'empty.'"
Mr. Aishi nodded. "Empty... That's a new response. Did you ask her to elaborate?"
"I did. I asked her what she thought she was empty of, and she said, 'I don't know.' I asked her then if she knew any other children who were empty. She shook her head."
"Maybe it's like depression?"
"That was our original theory. However, she only has emotional numbness as a symptom. Depression usually shows up in many ways; complex ways."
"Maybe the other symptoms haven't kicked in yet?"
"It's possible, so I think we may need to give her some time. Maybe your theory is right, and if it is depression we might get more information so that she may consult a proper therapist. Or maybe the other theory is correct, that she still needs to learn about emotion."
Mr. Aishis voice raised a notch. "Kids don't learn emotions! That's like learning how to breathe! We had to make her flash cards each with a different face and word so that she knows what emotions even are.
How long will it take for her to learn that falling down makes a child cry, or at least do more than stare at me and blankly inform me that she's injured!"
"Mr. Aishi, we're doing what we can."
"What if she's in danger? Would she just passively allow herself to get killed?"
"Mr. Aishi, please. I'm worried too."
"Then show me. Show me that you'll help my daughter," Mr. Aishi said, getting close to Dr. Ito and furrowing his brow.
Ayano turned from the wall, staring at her father closely. He had a furrowed brow, clenched teeth, and tall and tense stance.
She pointed at his face, and he turned.
"Angry." She stated.
The doctor turned to him, "It seems the flash cards are helping."
"It'll take time, Aishi."
With that, Mr. Aishi left, taking her daughter with him.
She woke up from the hazy memory. She often dreamt of her childhood, particularly recently. It meant nothing to her. But she did know that she was broken, and that to get by, she had to seem like she wasn't.
She traced her fingers along the side of her pillow, feeling the fabric. It was a morning for another day. But this day was the first day of her third year at Akademi, which would mean that she would have to prepare something to eat later so as not to be inconvenienced by an empty stomach. There was a bento box with a note on it in the fridge.
"Your father and I are going on vacation. Have a good day at school Ayano! We love you! - Mom"
She couldn't put her finger on it but something about the gesture was... Nice. It was different to have that sense of "nice". She kept note of it before it fluttered off as quickly as it showed up.
Putting the bento in her sachet she began her walk to school, muttering this word with a newfound sense to it, "Nice..."