Ciel groaned as he trudged into his study. He'd had an exhausting day, from nearly being trampled by rushing women who wanted to buy his perfume to finding out that...the Undertaker...had known his grandmother. Well, that was what they could assume, anyway, since he had her name on his locket…
Ciel had been about to flop bonelessly into his chair, finally having the chance to relax, when said chair suddenly turned to face him rather than the window as it had been. There was someone in his chair. Stumbling backward, no he did not fall gracelessly onto his bottom thank you very much, he gaped at the man sitting in his chair.
"U-Undertaker!" Ciel exclaimed.
"Hello, there, my little Earl. It's been some time, hm? It really is a shame that you dropped out of school; it was quite good for you to be around other little children."
The Undertaker smiled, leaning forward to rest his chin on his hands, elbows on the armrests of Ciel's chair.
Ciel glared at the Undertaker, hiding his surprise a little too late, as he stood up straight and tried to use his height in order to intimidate the Undertaker (which didn't work, as even sitting down, the Undertaker was taller than Ciel). "What are you doing here?"
"What?" the Undertaker drawled, "can't I drop by to see my favorite grandkid? That, of course, and try to get my treasure back…."
"I am taking care of your treasure fine," Ciel stated dryly, before blinking his eye rapidly. "Pardon me, but did you say your 'grandkid'?"
The Undertaker grinned widely as he opened his arms. "My cute little baby Earl, come to GRANDPAPPY!"
"WHAT?!" yelled Ciel in return. "There's no way that you were my grandfather—I am a Phantomhive!"
"Oh, of course you're a Phantomhive, Earl, no need to worry your little heart about that; you don't just get your looks from my darling Claudia, you got all of her Phantomhive stubbornness too."
Ciel stood there, dumbfounded. There was no way that the Undertaker could be his grandfather, that was preposterous, but the Undertaker did have his grandmother's hair inside of his mourning pendant. Why would he mourn someone he barely knew?
Quite suddenly, Ciel's eyes started to water over. "GRANDPAPPY!"
The Undertaker beamed, his smile stretching across his entire face, as Ciel came to the realization: the Undertaker was family. Tears came to the mortician's own eyes as Ciel flung himself into the Undertaker's arms.
"Hush now, Earl, no need to cry," the Undertaker murmured to the boy who had curled himself up in his lap.
Suddenly, the door to the study opened.
"Young Lord?" questioned Sebastian as he stuck his head into the study, "I heard a sho-"
Sebastian stared, dumbfounded, at the scene in front of him: there was the Undertaker, sitting in the young lord's chair and cuddling the young lord in his arms as his master cried. Deciding that it really wasn't worth asking, Sebastian quietly closed the door and exited the study, walking away as quickly as possible. There was no way in hell he was going to ever mention this again.
Alternate Ending:
Suddenly, the door to the study opened.
"Young Lord?" questioned Sebastian as he stuck his head into the study, "I heard a sho-"
Sebastian eyes widened at the scene in front of him: there was the Undertaker, sitting in the young lord's chair and cuddling the young lord in his arms as his master cried.
"Step away from my master," Sebastian growled, his eyes glowing an eerie crimson. "Young master, quickly!"
"S-Sebastian?" Ciel stuttered, his head jerking up to see the demon; realizing how odd this looked, he stumbled out of the Undertaker's lap, walking towards Sebastian. In that moment, Sebastian attacked, blurring as he moved towards the Undertaker—
"STOP, THIS IS AN ORDER!" Ciel cried out, and Sebastian froze, claws just centimeters away from the face of the Undertaker, who did not even flinch.
"But-but my Young Lord!" protested Sebastian, looking towards Ciel.
"This man is-he is my grandpap-my grandfather," stated Ciel stiffly, trying to look as dignified as possible.
The Undertaker nodded happily as Sebastian's gaze shifted to him.
"Our little Earl is telling the truth. He really is my grandbaby, and a quarter-shinigami as well. You see, Mr. Butler, that's why I don't like you at all. I'd rather it be that you were dead...but unfortunately, Ciel seems to depend on you." Here, the Undertaker paused, running one long, black fingernail across his lip.
"Although," he whispered, at a tone too low for Ciel's ears, "I wonder how long that will last."
Sebastian stiffened at the implied threat, seeing the look in the Undertaker's cold luminescent green eyes, and knowing what it meant. These shinigami really were much more human than they pretended; much too emotional.
"Sebastian," stated Ciel, "there is no need for any refreshments at this current moment. You may go play with your cats if you wish."
Sebastian bowed his head, suppressing his anger at the situation, and turned to leave. As he exited and made his way down the hall, he felt a shiver run down his spine. He had never seen the Undertaker so serious, so different from his obnoxious obsession with jokes and laughter, even on the Campania. And the young lord so...childish.
He didn't like this. One bit.
A/N (Athena's phoenix): So, this is a collaboration between MichaelaTheUchiha and I, and it was a blast to write. In all honesty, when we found out that the Undertaker knew Ciel's grandmother, my first thought was: He. Is. His. Grandfather. This just had to be done, especially with some of the things we came up with while discussing it together. Thus, this crack fic. XD
Author's Note (MichaelaTheUchiha): Yo, guys, I'm not dead. Holla! So, this is a fanfiction that Athena's phoenix and I co-wrote together after chapter eighty-five of the manga came out. We started joking about it and thought that we needed to write it, but we didn't write it until we were talking together and started acting it out. This has less sexual jokes than how I acted it out, though. Hope you enjoyed it!