Tara felt like she was dreaming, or more accurately, having a nightmare. She was back in Charming. She was back in fucking Charming. She needed a drink.

She took solace in the fact that she was only back for a short amount of time, and she hoped she wouldn't run into too many familiar faces. There was one sun kissed face in particular she didn't want to see, or so she kept on telling herself...

They were there on a case, and that was it. Though how the hell had she made her way from Chicago Presbyterian to St Thomas, one could wonder. She knew of course, knew why and what for, but sometimes she found herself wondering if she had dreamt it all. Her mentor, Dr. Philips, had been called for a favor, to operate on a toddler, on the other side of the country. Apparently, to finance medicine school, Philips had been a mob doctor for the Mayans in his native Arizona, and when he had been set free from his obligations, he had known he would never really be free. And indeed... The Mayans had come to him, asking (that was a euphemism, considering the amount of threat involved) him to operate on the son of a Charming Mayan.

"I guess we'll be visiting your old friends!" Philips had said when he had told her the news and how it had come to be, but she had felt like the world was crumbling down around her. After so much running, and hiding, and just distancing herself from this part of California, there she was. As Philips' star resident, she couldn't ask him to do without her, nor did she want to: she was a professional and she didn't even want Philips to think for a second that she would miss on a surgery just to spare some possibly painful memories. She had just moved on from being an intern to being a resident, and a fellow, and nothing would stand in her way until she got where she wanted to go, until she finally became the pediatric surgeon she had always known she would be.

She had cancelled her date with Joshua Kohn, a guy she had met a short time before. This was something else she ought to do some thinking about should she ever have the time. On paper, Joshua was eve more than a nice guy, and he had been gentle in his courting, waiting for her to be ready to go out with him, and when she had cancelled on him, while he had taken it gracefully, saying he understood she was going back to a place where she would need to only think about herself and her work, she had felt, in a really weird and incomprehensible way, like she was dodging a bullet. She hadn't had to say the words that would have made it clear that there would be no other dates, no rain check, and she was thankful for it.

Maybe she would reach out again when she would be back in Chicago, she thought, though she wasn't sure. She felt like she couldn't really trust any of the many things she was feeling lately. This bomb, forcing her to return to Charming, had detonated in her life and she felt like everything was askew, and she was aloof, too, like she wasn't her normal self, like she wasn't even sure her normal self was that woman she was the rest of the time.

Tara caught a stare coming from a window on the road. She couldn't blame whoever was watching her. She was sitting in her rental, had been for a long time, wondering what to do, frankly. She supposed she could go to her father's, but she had so many objections to that, she couldn't list them all, even to herself. Another solution would have been to go to a friend's house, she supposed. Only problem was, she didn't have friends in Charming anymore. She wasn't even sure she had ever had friends in Charming period... Sure, she had been on a friendly basis with Donna, but it had been expected of them, dating two guys who were best friends slash brothers. When Tara had left, there had been no phone calls, no keeping in touch. She didn't know if she would have wanted to, and she had no regrets there. However, it didn't help with her current quandary. Where to go? Where to go?

She supposed if she was avoiding her father, then her only choice was a motel. She made a disgusted face, but turned on the engine, finally leaving the space she had parked in when she had found herself in the actual town of Charming, needing time to deal.

Charming had changed, yet it was always the same, she thought, as she took the familiar streets and saw the familiar sights. Maybe she was a masochist, but she made a detour, and ended up passing in front of her father's house. Her heart felt too tight: the light was on in the living room but nowhere else in the house. She knew what it meant too well: her father was on his way to passing out on the couch in the living room, having probably had already quite a few drinks.

She closed her eyes briefly to blink back tears she didn't want there. You never forgot, she knew that, but when the past slapped you in the face with something you hadn't forgotten, it still made your world tremble.

She kept on driving, and had to stop at a red light. She tried not to think about this neighborhood which had been hers for the first 17 years of her life, or the memories that came with it, the innocent ones, and the painful ones. She wanted none of those. She wasn't there to reminisce, she was there to move on, and do a surgery, period.

As the light turned green, she had been about to get the car moving when she heard the unmistakable sound of several bikes riding together. A look in the rearview mirror told her she was about to be surrounded by Sons and their bikes. She kept her head straight ahead, not looking at them, as she slowly went back to driving ahead, as the bikes passed on either side of her vehicle.

She was not wondering if he was among that crowd, no she was not... She could have sworn she felt someone stare at her, really stare, on her right side, but she was looking ahead, stubbornly, and was waiting for the convoy to pass her by. She went to the one motel she remembered as having a not too terrible reputation. She kicked herself for not having taken up Dr. Philips on his offer to get her a room in the hotel a couple of towns over he was staying at. She had thought it would look weird to him if she accepted, like she didn't want to go back to Charming. She didn't, but he didn't need to know.

She parked in the lot, and went inside. The girl at the counter was young, probably earning some extra money by doing some reception hours, so she didn't seem to know who Tara was, and Tara liked it that way. When she gave her last name, the girl did raise her head and asked:

"Like the Drunk Knwoles?"

Tara smiled blankly, neither confirming nor denying it. The girl gave her the key to her room, and told her about the breakfast hours, though Tara didn't pay any attention. She just grabbed her luggage and made her way to the room.

She closed the door behind her, putting the bolt on, feeling silly doing so, yet unable to stop herself. The room was nothing amazing, but it had a bed and a TV, and clean bathroom, so she supposed she couldn't complain too much about it. Hell, complaining about anything was the last thing on her agenda.

She crashed on the bed, looking at the ceiling, wondering what was next. Sleep was a good guess, she supposed. She was going to St. Thomas in the morning to assist Dr. Philips with the consult he would have with the boy's parents. Tara didn't know their name, and wasn't sure she wanted to know it. If tomorrow she recognized the people in the room, well, there was that. If she didn't, then she would have been right about their names mattering so little. It seemed callous, she knew it, but she was operating on their son and it felt much more important for her to know the boys medical record by heart rather than know things about his parents.

Her stomach reminded her that she hadn't eaten in a very long time. She had seen a vending machine in the hallway, and grabbed her wallet, thinking some chips should be enough, and maybe some chocolate of any sort. She got out of the room, feeling weird as she undid the bolt, and went to corner where she had spotted the machine. She took a moment. Yes, she supposed she was not really out, as she was in the motel, but it was the first time since she had gotten into the rental that she was outside, in the Charming air. It didn't feel like home, nor did she expect it too, but it was familiar.

She breathed in and out, and told herself it would be alright.

She purchased chips and water, and more chocolate than she should have, before making her way back to her room. The place was empty, yet she felt... Like she was being watched? Or that she was seen? Such a complex feeling. Before him, she had been used to being invisible in Charming and in high school. Then, there had been him, and people had started watching her, and seeing her. She remembered how unsettling it had been. You got used to many things, and when they got disturbed, even if you liked the reason they were being disturbed, it was a revolution in itself.

Back in her room, she dropped her food on the bed, and turned on the TV, while opening a bag of chips. She was starving. She flipped channels, thankful for the stupidity of most programs. She needed random, and mindless things to keep her own mind from other things...

There was a knock on the door, and she jumped, suddenly aware she hadn't put the bolt back on.

Forcing herself to breathe in and out, she straightened her appearance quickly, before going to the door. In all fairness, the number of people who could be on the other side of that door were not that numerous, but when she finally opened the door, she was shocked, beyond surprise.

"Jax." She said.

"Tara," He answered