Nobita and the Clue Bat

(Disclaimer: Doraemon et al are owned by Fujiko Fujio.)

Doraemon was sitting in Nobita Nobi's bedroom eating dorayaki and minding his own business when Nobita half-walked, half-collapsed through the door in a dishevelled heap. His yellow sweater was torn, his knees were covered in bruises, his glasses were broken, his hair was as messy as a birds' nest, and he had a black eye. He was also wet. He wiped his nose on his sleeve and began to wail. "Doraemooonnnn!"

Doraemon sighed. Was he ever going to get peace in this house? Was he ever going to be able to eat his way through a whole plateful of those succulent pancakes filled with sweet red bean paste? And, more importantly, when was Nobita going to come home in one piece?

"Nobita," he said, trying not to let his impatience show too much, "has Jaian been picking on you again?"

"Yes," sniffled Nobita, "he beat me up because we were playing baseball and he wanted to join in and they all let him and I got him out and he hit me with his bat, and I got a really bad grade in my homework, and Suneo was showing off about his Scalextric and invited Shizuka and Jaian to play with it, but he didn't invite me, and then Jaian shoved my head down the toilet..."

"...and you want a gadget to help you, yes?" interrupted the robotic cat, with a raised eyebrow.

Nobita wiped his nose on his sleeve again, and nodded. Doraemon took this as his cue to fumble in his pouch, and Nobita waited eagerly to see what goodies Doraemon would find this time.

"Ta-daaaa!" sang Doraemon, as he produced a baseball bat from his pouch.

"A baseball bat?" pondered Nobita. "Is it going to help me improve my baseball game?"

"No."

"Will it make Shizuka want to be my girlfriend?"

"No."

"Will Suneo be jealous of it? Does it turn into a robot? Or maybe it's automatic? Can I shoot Jaian with it? 'Cos I remember when we had that gun fight and..."

Doraemon shook his head impatiently. "No, no, no," he said, "it doesn't do any of those things. It's called the Clue Bat."

"The Clue Bat?" parroted Nobita.

"Yup," answered Doraemon. "Want to know how it works?"

Nobita grinned like an idiot and nodded.

"This is how it works," said Doraemon, and he whacked Nobita over the head with the Clue Bat.

"Now go to bed," instructed the robot feline. However, since Nobita was out cold, Doraemon had to put the stupid boy to bed himself. He told Nobita's mum that he had a headache and needed to sleep, and luckily she believed him and sent him upstairs with an aspirin and a glass of water.

The next day, when he woke up, Nobita was a changed boy. And he continued to be a changed boy.

He no longer had to stay behind after class and get told off by the teacher, because his grades were much better. He became more confident, and Jaian stopped pushing him around. He refused to let Suneo wind him up, and he stopped being lazy; instead, he helped his mum and dad round the house with a smile, and worked really hard on his homework.

"But why," asked Dorami, when Doraemon had travelled to the future to visit her, "didn't you just smack him with the Clue Bat in the first place?"

"Ah," sighed her blue brother, shrugging his shoulders, "it was buried under all the gadgets in my pouch, and it took me years to dig it out. And I think it was just waiting for the right time for Nobita to have some sense beaten into him."

And so, thanks to the beating Doraemon gave him with the Clue Bat, Nobita Nobi lived a successful life, and was finally able to ensure that future Nobi generations would not grow up broke.