A/N: Well, this little brainchild has been floating around in my head for some time now, and since was sick today and had nothing better to do, I decided I might as well get it out of there. It takes place sometime during the summer between books five and six. Neville is at St. Mungo's, having just visited his parents, and he's feeling a little depressed...
Disclaimer: I'm not Jo. If I were, I'd have Rolf Scamander and Hannah Abott go jump off a cliff together, but alas, I'm not, so there will be no synchronized suicides today...
"Droobles Best Blowing Gum" the wrapper said. "The best of the best in all of the wizarding world. Makes your taste buds dance the tango and your tongue do flip-flops in your mouth. Tangoing taste buds guaranteed."
It might have been funny, really. That had got to be one of the corniest slogans he'd ever had the misfortune of coming across in all of his short life. However, as Neville Longbottom sat hunched over the sterile hospital bench, twisting the wrapper over and over in his shaking hands, he didn't quite feel like laughing.
163, he mused. 163 little blue wrappers, just like this one, all collecting dust in an old shoe-box shoved underneath his bed. 163 visits to this God awful place, 163 times forced to fake a smile as he accepted yet another feeble offering from the women who'd given birth to him, and could now barely remember his own name. 163, he thought, it was quite a number.
Neville looked down at his watch longingly. Grams had said she'd only take a few more minutes with them, but it had now been over half an hour, and she had still not emerged from behind those beige curtains down the hall. Not that he had anywhere to be particularly, but he'd like to get out of this place as soon as possible. It gave him the creeps, honestly. Especially the mental ward. All those people, living in their own little worlds, trapped in the confines of their own heads, betrayed by their own shaky grounds with sanity… It was enough to make a grown man shudder, and Neville certainly did not consider himself a grown man.
He looked at his watch once again, then turned his attention back to the wrapper, holding it up to his face so he could read the fine print…
"Whatcha got there Neville?" Came a curious, sing-song voice he instantly recognized.
Neville looked up to see none other than Luna Lovegood, former DA member and Ravanclaw extraordinaire, plop herself down and turn to him, her inquisitive blue-gray eyes probing.
"I… er-" stuttered Neville, caught off guard by her sudden appearance, "It's just an old gum wrapper, see?"
He held the wrapper into the light so she could get a better look.
Luna let her eyes drift lazily towards the wrapper for just a moment before bringing them back to rest on Neville, "I see," She said, blinking slowly, "Whatcha doing with it?"
"Er-" Said Neville again, frantically casting about for a plausible explanation other than, 'Well, my mom's in the psycho ward and she always gives me a gum wrapper when I visit her, so I keep them and shove them in an old shoe box under my bed, and then I- well, don't so anything with them. I just kind of stare at them sometimes and-'
"I don't know." He answered truthfully.
"Huh." Responded Luna dreamily, "Well, you should hold on to it, the shiny side'll repel wrackspirts, and they're all over this time of year."
"That's umm," Said Neville tentatively, "Good to know."
Luna smiled benignly at Neville, and then proceeded to let her eyes drift throughout the room, taking in everything from the impeccably clean, whitewashed walls and ceilings, to the bland draperies hiding the hospital beds from view, and the certain way the sunlight streamed in from the window, just above their heads.
For his part, Neville just sat there in awkward silence, his eyes darting back and forth between the crinkled wrapper in his hands and the peculiar girl sitting beside him. Luna had always been a mystery to Neville. He'd always thought she was quite pretty, in her own, unobtrusive way, however he'd never found her a particularly easy person to talk to, especially since practically every other word that came out of her mouth was something Neville had never heard of, and that made it quite hard for him to find a common ground. Still, she was sitting here with him now, and he did have nothing else to do with himself until Grams returned. He might as well at least try to be polite to his unexpected companion.
"So," He said finally, casting about for something impressive to say, "What er- what brings you here?"
Lame! Neville's brain screamed, 'What brings you here?' That's got to be the oldest small talk line in the book. If there was a book, which there's not. Or at least if there is, no ones ever told me about it, which wouldn't be the first time, but still…
"My Uncle was building a contraption to catch a crumple-horned snorkack, but one of his alarm spells backfired, and now every time someone says 'intruder' he makes this high pitched squealing sound, like an un-potted mandrake. The healers are fixing him up now, they say he should be good as new in a few hours." Said Luna, cutting across Neville's musings.
"Yeah?" Replied Neville, "Then what are you doing in the psych ward, surely he's just a case of spell damage, not insanity right?"
It was probably a stupid thing to ask, but Neville couldn't help himself.
"Well yes, I suppose it is," Said Luna, not at all put off by his abrupt question, "I suppose it must be because when we brought him in here, he was fairly stressed and just sort of assumed all the healers were heliopaths in disguise sent to abduct him and drag his body into the fiery depths of hell, so they had to bring him up here and sedate him for awhile before starting treatment."
She said this all in a flat, matter-of-factly tone. Neville couldn't understand how she could allude to her uncle's obvious derangement with such glibness. "You're uncle," he said slowly, "Is he crazy?"
Luna gave Neville a funny half smile and shook her head. "No, not crazy, no. Just a little different than you and me."
Neville had nothing to say to that, except maybe, "Oh."
They sat through another lull of silence. This time, neither looking at the other, hardly daring to even so much as breath. It was a long moment, and a short moment, and an awkward moment, and a comforting moment, all rolled into one. And suddenly, in a way Neville couldn't even begin to describe, he felt an urge come over him to tell Luna something very important, "My mum," He began in a shaky voice, his eyes boring into a specific place on Luna's forehead just below her hairline, "And my dad, they're here right now. Have been since I was a baby. Some of You-Know-Who's followers tortured them for information, but they wouldn't give in, so they got tortured to the point of insanity."
Only when he'd finished his statement, and taken a steadying breath, did Neville dare to look Luna in the eye. Her piercing blue-gray eyes stared right on back, meeting his gaze not timidly, nor awkwardly, as most might have upon hearing news like this, but full on, boldly proclaiming- what? Understanding? Knowing? Sympathy? Simply that she'd heard?
"I'm sorry Neville." She said. It was the standard response, one he'd been getting from Grams and the Healers for years, but coming from her, from Luna Lovegood of all people, it sounded strangely sincere, and though he'd think twice before admitting it, truly touching.
He offered her a wan smile in way of thanks.
She smiled back. Not a full on one, but an adorable little half-smile that was just so cute it made Neville's small smile widen into a grin.
Strange, he thought, to be smiling in a place like this.
"You're lucky you know." Said Luna, cutting across Neville's musings, "Unlucky, in a way, yes. But lucky. You've got two people in the world who love you unconditionally, that's more than some people can say."
Neville's grin slowly faltered. "They did love me," He all but whispered, "Before, they sacrificed their own health and sanity so that I'd be able to live in a better world than they did. But they don't love me anymore, Luna. They can barely remember who I am these days, they couldn't possibly love me."
Luna's smile faded as well. "That can't be right." She said simply, "Neville, of course they love you, they're your parents."
Neville brought his eyes up once again to meet hers, and saw in them a gleam that he'd come to associate as a warning that she was about to start spouting off some kind of ridiculous belief of hers as though it were a fact. He began to brace himself for what would undoubtedly be a slightly eccentric, and long winded, explanation of why his parents must love him.
But all she said was this, "Don't you believe that?"
Neville looked away from her eager, radiant eyes. She had such faith, such conviction, in every single belief she stood behind, but that was something he'd never have. He couldn't simply believe his parents loved him that easily. Couldn't delude himself into thinking he was anything more to them than another faceless visitor. He tried to explain this to her, "I-I can't Luna. Don't you see? I'm not like you. I don't have faith in these things like you do. I just, I can't."
Luna cocked her head slightly to the side, as though surveying an interesting specimen. "Why?" She asked finally.
"Why?" Neville spluttered, surprised by the blunt question. "Why? Because I'm a human being with doubts. Because I don't walk around with my head in the clouds, looking for Blibbering humi- humid-"
"Humdingers?" Luna supplied helpfully.
"Yes, that." Neville said, "I just can't do that. I know how the world works, and sometimes it's not as wonderful as we'd like to believe it to be. And I simply can't delude myself into thinking things aren't the way they are. Then I'd be no better than, well, no better than them." Neville waved his hand about, in a broad, sweeping motion meant to encompass the entirety of the ward. "I guess you could say it's because I'm sane."
Luna was still surveying him, though this time, her gaze was not quite so gentle. He hoped he hadn't offended her with his blibbering humdigwhatnots reference. He hadn't meant to, it had just sort of worked it's way out.
"Define sane." She said finally. It wasn't a question. It was a command.
"Er-" Neville said, not quite sure how best to phrase it, "Not crazy…?" He responded in a way that was more of a question than an actual response.
Luna seemed to sense his uncertainty. "Define crazy." She said, a hint of a smug smile gracing her lips.
"Uh, delusional? Out of it? Not… normal?"
"Uh-huh." Said Luna, absorbing this answer, "Alright. Just one more question Neville. Do you think that people who believe in things that they can't necessarily prove are delusional?"
Neville bit his lip, thinking. "No," He said slowly, "Not really."
Luna smiled triumphantly, "So, if delusional people are crazy, but believing in things doesn't make us delusional, then our beliefs don't make us crazy?"
"Hey, I thought you said no more questions!" Neville snapped back playfully.
"Yeah, well." Said Luna. "I lied. But that's beside the point. And you didn't answer my question."
"Alright," Shrugged Neville, "No, I don't think beliefs make people crazy."
"Well that's funny," Said Luna musingly, "Because just a second ago you were telling me you couldn't possibly believe in something you couldn't prove, just because you weren't crazy."
Neville giggled nervously, not quite meeting Luna's eye. He should have known something like this would happen. She may be a bit out of sorts occasionally, but Luna had certainly been sorted into Ravanclaw for a reason. "All right," He said, conceding defeat, "You got me. It's not that I can't believe in unconditional love because I'm sane. It's more that I just- can't. Like I said, I'm not like you Luna. I can't believe in things just because I want to. I-I wish I could, but I can't."
For a long while, neither said anything, both lost in their own thoughts. Luna mused silently over Neville's confession, and Neville squirmed nervously, eagerly awaiting her response. The only noise to be heard was the gently swish of healer's robes as they bustled about the corridor, paying the two rather introspective young teenagers no heed as they continued on with their daily lives.
"Neville." Said Luna finally, reaching down to grasp his right wrist, the one still clutching the gum wrapper. "When you look at that wrapper, what do you see?"
Neville looked down at the wrapper, then back up at Luna perplexedly, then back down again. What did he see? He saw an old, crinkled gum wrapper. What was he supposed to see?
"What do you see Neville?" Luna prompted, giving his wrist a reassuring squeeze.
"I- er- I see a gum wrapper." Said Neville hesitantly, "Isn't that what I'm supposed to see?"
Luna shrugged. "I don't know what you're supposed to see. I see a gum wrapper too, but according to some people, I've been known to notice things that aren't really there, so I guess I'm not exactly the soundest judge."
Neville chuckled lightly, "Don't worry," He assured her, "It's there."
"I know." She stated, "I said according to some people, not according to me."
"Ah." Said Neville, having nothing else to say to that strange pronouncement.
"Alright, now turn your hand over." Luna proceeded to gently twist his wrist around for him, so that he was now looking down at the other side of the wrapper, the shiny side. "Hold it up to the light, Neville." She said.
He did as instructed. And watched as the sunlight streamed in from the window above, striking the gum wrapper, and then reflecting off of it, leaving in its wake a dazzling, sparkling, sun-soaked little square.
"Now what do you see?" Asked Luna.
"I-" said Neville, staring down at the effulgent wrapper, "I see light."
Luna smiled a smile just as radiant as the glittering rays of sun, "There. Now you see what I see."
Neville tore his eyes away from the wrapper for just a moment to look into Luna's beaming face, and grinned. Then he brought his eyes back to rest upon the luminous token once again, and said, "Yeah, I guess I do."
More silence. But this time it wasn't awkward, simply companionable. Luna's hand never once ceased contact with Neville's warm skin, and even began to snake its way downwards, becoming entwined in his fingers. Neville continued to stare at the shiny side of the wrapper, as though entranced, lost in his own thoughts. Thoughts Luna wisely decided not to intrude upon.
They could have been anyone in that hospital. Anyone visiting their not-quite-so-normal relatives in the psycho ward. But they weren't just anyone. They were Neville Longbottom and Luna Lovegood. They were odd, sure. They were different. They were sad and they were happy and they believed in things. And for now, they were silent.
But they would never be just anyone.
Because like they're crazy families before them, they saw things no one else could see.
It was light. It was shining. And it was beautiful.
It may have been nothing more than a simple gum wrapper, but to Neville, and to Luna, it was one of the most beautiful things they'd ever been lucky enough to see in their entire lives.
"Luna!" Both teenagers jumped at the booming sound of a man's voice. They looked up to see a tall man with wiry white strands of hair staring down at them. "Your uncle's been discharged and your cousin's got the brooms, we'll be leaving in a few, so say goodbye to your friend and meet us out front."
And without even bothering to introduce himself, he turned his back on the two and flounced off towards the stairs.
"My dad," Said Luna apologetically, "I probably should get going."
Neville nodded, "Yeah, you probably should."
Luna rose to her feet.
"Thanks Luna." Neville spluttered out quickly, before she could turn to leave. "For everything."
Luna turned back to him and grinned. "You're welcome, Neville. And just one more thing. I promise I'm not lying this time."
Smiling slightly at her last remark, Neville watched curiously as Luna proceeded to smooth out her long, flowing, bright orange skirt, and kneel down beside him. She raised both her hands, and, hesitantly at first, grasped both of his palms in hers.
She took a deep breath, looked Neville right in the eye, and said, "Your mom and dad love you Neville. And I don't see it that way because I want to. I see it because I choose to. There's a difference. The world can be a truly beautiful place when you choose to see it that way. But first you have to open your eyes, and look."
And with that, she stood up with a jingle of butter beer corks and radish earrings, turned on her heel, and sauntered away.
Neville sat there on that sterile hospital bench, and gazed at his mother's gift to him for awhile after that. When his Grams finally emerged, tired and worn but smiling from her visit with her son and daughter-in-law, he tucked the wrapper away in his pocket as usual, and followed her out the door.
That night, he would dig out his old shoebox full of gum wrappers just like this one, and stick it inside, just like always.
Gum wrapper 163 would be just the same as any other gum wrapper before it. Except for this:
"I love you too, Mommy, Daddy," He'd whisper, just before he'd shut the musty old box, crawl under the covers, and drift off to sleep.
The next day he'd open his eyes, and see the box still lying there beside him from the night before. And it would remind him that today was a new day, and he could look at it in whichever way he chose.
Somewhere halfway across the country, a certain blonde haired someone would put on a pair of spectrespecs, and watch her pet Nargle gulp down his breakfast. She would smile.
Back in his musty little bedroom, Neville would smile too.
A/N: Well, hope you liked it. Reviews of any kind always appreciated;)