October 2012
Author's Note: Dialogue paraphrased from, of all places, "The Lord of the Rings". You know, I'm pretty sure seven years of fighting and journeying and dying repeatedly would inspire juuuuuust a little PTSD, don't ya think? Here's my take on that:) I would absolutely luuuurve a review from you!:)
Was it the ever-permeating smell of disinfectant, or the florescent lights? Maybe it was the way his boots squeaked on the shiny floor. While the anthropologist in Chakotay wondered why exactly hospital visitors hated the details so much, the man in him merely acknowledged he was glad to be leaving.
The now former- executive officer of the Federation Starship Voyager had been in and out of medical centers all week as part of Starfleet's debriefing for the most epic journey in recorded Federation history, as had the rest of the crew. They were tired of being separated, tired of being away from their families, tired of the never-ending rain that hadn't stopped pouring since they arrived back on Earth- Chakotay hoped this would all be over soon.
He found himself in the tranquilly-lit, carpeted lounge that fronted the Psychological Therapy office.
And suddenly, she was there.
The woman stood alone in front of the armchairs in the empty lounge, staring steadily out the expansive windows in that way he had seen her do so many times before. She wore a drape-y white outfit that made her seem smaller, more frail somehow, than the powerful command red of her Starfleet uniform.
Chakotay hesitated for a moment. Recently, whenever he spotted a red-headed human woman, he had hoped to find her. Was it really her this time?
Chakotay noted a steaming cup of black coffee abandoned on the low table. Yes, it was her. He silently approached.
"Kathryn," he called softly, trying not to startle her. Janeway had never been one to scare easy, but there was an alarming lacking of her usual alacrity in her piercing eyes.
Janeway turned those dazzling eyes on him now, gazing up at him sadly. "Chakotay." Her red lips barely moved as his name spilled out.
She turned back to the clouds. Chakotay followed her gaze up to the threatening sky but could not see what held Janeway's interest so intently. Finally, she spoke.
"It's strange, Chakotay- stranger than anything we ever saw on Voyager."
Chakotay stepped closer, noting how tensely she held herself, how painfully slender her already petite frame had become.
"What's that?" he inquired. His breath was pleasantly warm against her skin, which had felt icy cold for a while now.
Janeway turned her head, her shiny hair now grown out from its' practical bob swinging, sending a delicious scent of roses and coffee and Kathryn wafting towards Chakotay.
Janeway spoke tonelessly. "There is no warmth left in the sun," she said simply, sadly.
Chakotay almost smiled as he realized that Captain Janeway, ever the diplomat, had chosen just the right words-for he too was missing sunshine. For seven years he had devoted himself to Voyager and her crew. For eighty four months he had spent almost every waking moment fretting over crew morale or the state of the dilithium crystals or having his hopes dashed by Harry's damned wormholes. For 36,816,43 minutes he hoisted a heavy burden, struggling to relieve the captain he loved so much of the grief and guilt and obsession she bore with a Starfleet commbadge neatly pinned on top.
And yet, the captain had also taught him. She taught him about optimism and honor, about values and love and hope.
Chakotay stepped closer and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. "It's nothing more than the damp before the spring rains," he whispered.
Janeway reached up and covered his hand with her own, savoring the comforting warmth beneath her slender fingers. Chakotay clasped her hand, pulling it down so their joined fingers hung between them, shoulders touching. He half expected her to pull away but Janeway merely leaned her head on his shoulder, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze. Thank you, the gesture said.
I'm only returning the favor, he implied, brushing his soft lips lightly across her forehead.
They both looked to the cloudy sky. Suddenly, the sun seemed a little warmer.
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