Hey there, guys! After that heartbreaking episode and Skye getting shot I just couldn't help writing a reaction to the ep!
Hope you like it! It's MY version of whap happened and what I wrote doesn't coincide with the show completely so take that into consideration. It's a two-shot.
Anyways, enjoy it, guys!
I felt it even before I realized I was shot. Pain. Unbelievable paralyzing pain. I brought my hand to my stomach and then slowly looked down to see blood. I looked at Quinn unable to believe what he had done. He took a few steps in my direction and pulled me to himself and that was when I heard another shot and I didn't even think it was possible but the pain became even worse, so much worse. My vision got so blurred I could hardly see, suddenly I felt hot. Still holding my limp body, he put me on the ground and said: "I'm sorry. I have my orders too"
With these words he walked out leaving me completely alone. Leaving me to die alone. The pain was too much to bear but I kept fighting. I needed help. I needed my team. I had to live, I was so young, there was so much more to do in my life. So many things I wanted to do. So I decided to fight. I looked at my stomach. There was so much blood, too much blood. How could there be so much blood? My hand was all covered in blood, the top was soaked in blood and there was blood on the floor too. I was scared out of my mind. Just seeing it made my head spin. I tried not to think about my chances of survival.
I weakly rasped "Help" and gathering all the strength I had left started moving my body to the door, slowly and painfully. The pain was only intensifying, my thoughts were getting more and more confusing. My body was giving up on me. But I wanted to live! I managed to get to the door, gasping all the way there and reached my hand up to open it, creating even more pain that was nearly impossible to tolerate and using almost all of my strength. I wanted to shout for help but all that came out of my mouth was a weak whisper. I lay there by the door, my back leaning against the wall, thinking about the people whom I called my family. I wanted to see them again so desperately, thinking about how they would feel when they found me there in such a state.
My vision was getting darker and darker and I was fighting hard to stay conscious knowing well it wouldn't last. I almost didn't feel the pain any more, I could hardly feel anything at all, my body became numb. Was that it? Was I going to die and not see any one of them ever again? There were so many things I wanted to say to each one of them. I wanted them to know how much I loved them and how much they meant to me and thank them for being the only family I'd ever had. Thank them for not giving up on me and giving me a second chance, for caring, for protecting me and just for being there for me.
Ward. My annoying but caring S.O., the man I'd fallen in love with but was too scared to admit it even to myself. I hoped he wouldn't blame himself for what happened to me. I hoped he wouldn't go raging just like he did when the memories of failing to protect his little brother came flooding back. I didn't want him to experience anything like that ever again. It would most probably destroy him. Oh damn him and his hero complex! Why did he feel the need to protect everyone?
A.C. I saw him as my father. He's been my father from the very beginning. I was so grateful to have met him. He was the man who gave me this life and most importantly a family that I loved so much. He's been through so much already and I wish fate could show him some mercy. He deserved the best.
Fitzsimmons. The people who became the brother and sister I never had. All the time we spent together I was never going to forget. I'd miss them like hell.
May. The tough woman on the outside but caring and compassionate on the inside. Sometimes she was acting like my step-mother.
I screwed up again and there wasn't going to be a third chance for me. Clairvoyant was still out there and I was dying. It was hopeless. I let them down once again.
All these thoughts went through my head in a matter of seconds. I guess it's true what they say. All your life comes flashing by. Well, my life truly began on the bus when I got to be a part of a family.
I guess I'd never get to tell them any of that, not anymore. I was dying and I could tell I had minutes if not seconds left. It was so stupid that only when I was about to die did I think about the most important things in life and about the words left unsaid.
I was drained and couldn't keep my eyes open anymore. They slowly closed and I was engulfed into darkness.
I found myself in a strange place. Everything was light and white and beautiful, peace and quiet. I didn't feel any pain and there was no blood on my clothes. In fact, I felt wonderful, free and light. I looked around and assumed I was dead. I really died. I asked myself as there was no one there to hear me talking to myself:
"Am I in heaven?"
What I didn't expect was an answer to my question. I heard a voice behind me:
"Not yet"
I turned around sharply to look at the person. It was a woman and she seemed somehow familiar but I couldn't for the life of me remember where I had seen her. She wore a light white dress and had long dark hair and dark chocolate eyes. She was beautiful, just like that place.
"Not yet? What does it mean? Where am I? And who are you?"
She looked at me with a sad look in her eyes and sighed.
"You're in between life and death, Skye. You shouldn't be here. You have to go back"
How did she know my name? Wait, did that mean I wasn't dead? But it felt as if I was. In spite of everything that was happening I felt absolute calmness and peacefulness.
"How do you know my name? Who are you?"
"Just look at me and think, Skye. Deep inside you know who I am"
She did seem strangely familiar but no matter how hard I tried to remember where I could have met the woman I got nothing. It was as if my mind was hiding some important information from me.
"Look at me, Skye"
I did as she said and examined her appearance carefully. Long dark hair, dark brown eyes, not very tall, a bit short even… She did remind me of someone. After a moment I gasped as it hit me. She reminded me of ME.
I looked at her, my eyes wide as plates. Could that really be her?
I managed to utter in a low shaking voice:
"Mom?"
"You guessed right, baby girl. But you need to go back. You have people who need you"
"Oh my god. You're really dead… Who killed you? Tell me!"
Her voice suddenly changed from calm to panicked:
"Skye, it doesn't matter anymore! You have to live! Go home!"
"I could stay here! All of them will be safer without me. Death follows me. I'm dangerous"
Didn't she know? So many people died because of me. My parents, a whole village, then a whole S.H.I.E.L.D. team and agent Avery and who knows how many more. The last thing I wanted was the only family I had to get killed too. I needed to protect them.
My mother didn't want to hear that.
"This is bullshit and you know it! You're safe now because all these people made that happen . Your father needs you. Grant needs you. As well as the three other people on your team. You can't die, it's not your time yet"
Wait, wait, wait. Did she just say father?
"I don't have a father. My father is dead, just like you. And no, they don't need me. It was me who needed them. Now I have to keep them safe"
"Oh would you stop being so stubborn? Who told you your father was dead? He is perfectly alive. And did you think about the pain you're going to bring to your loved ones by dying?"
It was ridiculous. She didn't know how important those people were. They deserved to live. But it was pretty impossible to argue with her.
"Stop it! I don't have a father! What are you even talking about?"
"Your father is closer than you think. He's been with you for months"
She was confusing me more and more and I was getting tired and felt like sleeping. My eyes closed again and here came darkness.
When I opened my eyes again I found myself on a nice sandy beach. It was peaceful and calm just like in the previous place I'd been to. There wasn't a soul on the beach. I could hear the sound of waves and seagulls, which was very calming. I loved the place instantly. I took a walk by the ocean, waves touching my feet and reaching my knees now and then.
"We didn't save you for you to die so young"
Hearing the voice I jerked and turned around to see a woman I have never seen before.
"Who are you?"
"I'm Agent Avery. And you shouldn't be here"
What was that with all of them telling me I shouldn't be here? This place is so peaceful and beautiful! I'd gladly stay here…
Anyway. She was that agent that was murdered because she wanted to protect me. I finally met her and though there was so much to tell her, to thank her for giving her life for mine, I froze.
"Agent Avery?"
"That's me. Now you have to go"
These words were the last I heard before darkness came over again. Why did it have to happen in most curious moments?
The darkness didn't last long. I reappeared in that very place on the beach and she was still there.
"I said go back to the world of living. You have no place here"
"I can't! I don't know how"
"Just think about it"
I didn't know why I complied, maybe because I owed her one. But I thought about going back and the beach disappeared.
I've been in darkness for too long. It was suffocating and I couldn't find a light, couldn't get out. I was on the verge of panicking. I was lost in darkness and was tired of all the struggle. I was too tired to care.
I was about to give up when I thought about my Mom and in an instant I was in that white place which had no limits again. She was there too and she wasn't too happy to see me, she looked angry.
"Skye, what did I tell you? Do you ever listen to what people tell you?"
"No"
"That's what got you here in the first place! You need to listen to me. Please, listen to me. I want you to live, can you understand it? You're my baby. I want my baby to live"
She seemed so sad and on the verge of tears. I wanted to cry too. If I were in her place I wouldn't want my baby to die. She was my mother and I didn't want to disappoint her but I still needed to know who my father was.
"Just tell me about my father"
She looked at me with hope in her eyes.
"If I do will you listen to me and go back?"
"Yes. I'll do as you say, Mom"
I just wish you were alive.
"Why don't you look at him yourself?"
As she said it the scenery changed and I found myself in a hospital room. I looked around and saw A.C. sitting on the chair near the hospital bed. Curious, I got closer. I saw a very pale me lying on the hospital bed and gasped.
"We're going to find that cure and bring you back to us. Everything is going to be okay, baby girl. You're going to live and annoy the hell out of all of us"
I stood right in front of him but he clearly couldn't see me. Seeing him like this made my heart ache. He didn't look good. In fact, he didn't look like himself at all, he seemed much older. I felt tears running down my cheeks. I felt awful.
Wait. Mom told me she was going to show me… to show me my Dad…
I quickly connected the dots in my head and realized that I was standing in front of my father. He's been my dad since we first met and he probably knew that but he didn't tell me anything. Why?
He soon left and I saw Ward come in. His expression was of extreme determination but I could see hurt and guilt and sadness in his eyes. I've never seen him like that, so broken, before and I didn't want to see him like that neither now nor ever again.
He stopped at my bed and leaned close to my face, putting his hands on my cheeks and spoke in a low voice:
"Don't you dare die while we're out there. Do you understand me, Skye? Don't you dare die. Listen to me for once and stay alive. Keep fighting"
The way he said those words brought more tears to my eyes. I couldn't see him in such pain, I could see he was in pain and it was me who caused it.
I couldn't believe he just ordered me not to die although it was so typical of him. At that moment, I was determined to listen to what I was told.
Suddenly I had an urge to touch him. I didn't know if I could but I came closer and put my hand on his cheek and whispered "I'm sorry" I felt bad for giving up on my life, for giving up my family and causing them so much pain. If only I hadn't been so stupid and hadn't decided to go there on my own and get shot…
After a while of looking at my face (the me that was lying in the hospital bed) as if trying to find some kind of life there, he took my hand in his and kissed it and I swear I could feel it when his lips touched my knuckles, it felt so good, his touch.
Now I desperately wanted to come back to him, to them. But how the hell do I do that?
He put my hand back with care and quickly walked out of the room, his steps wide. I followed him and saw him approach May and Coulson, then all three of them disappeared into the elevator.
I turned my head and saw Fitzsimmons sitting just outside the room where my body was lying, Jemma was weeping quietly into Leo's chest, his arms were wrapped protectively around her body. I hated seeing them like that, the usually cheerful and full of hope science couple looked so broken now and I was what caused it. I felt awful again.
Jemma pulled away from Leo and said in a weak voice:
"I need to check on her"
"Jems, you checked on her not even half an hour ago… I don't think…"
She didn't let him finish and got pretty irritated. She said, her voice stronger:
"I said I need to check on her and that's what I'm going to do, Fitz"
As she walked into the ward, I heard Fitz say: "I'm sorry, Skye. I'm so sorry"
Oh god no. Why did everyone need to blame themselves for what Quinn had done to me? First A.C. and now Fitz. I only hoped Ward didn't think it was his fault.
I needed to get back already. I closed my eyes and thought about the white place. When I opened them I was there. She was standing not far away from me. I walked to her and said:
"So A.C. was my Dad all along? Why didn't he tell me? Does he even know?"
"Yes. He's your Dad, Skye. He saw something in you and felt he had to take you in. He does know now. He loves you. If you die it's going to tear him apart. Same goes for Grant"
I listened to her and more and more questions popped up in my head. I wished I could just ask all of them in one go. I was confused and frustrated.
"But why didn't he tell me? Didn't he want me?"
"Skye, the fact that he kept it to himself didn't mean he didn't want you. He had you with him all the time, he became a dad to you. You're going to have to ask him yourself"
I frowned. I just wished he had told me. It would make me so happy, having my A.C. as my dad. He didn't have to keep it a secret from me. I was pretty mad at him for not telling me he was my dad because I didn't see any reason why he should keep it from me. It wasn't fair.
Was he ever going to tell me that at all? That bothered me the most in this situation.
"What about Grant? Why was he so upset?"
"Don't be stupid, Skye. You mean too much to him. But you have to figure out what you mean to him on your own"
What was she even talking about? I mean I was obviously in love with my S.O. but there was no way he could feel something for me… So what else could it be then? No matter how hopeless I felt about the whole Robot situation I wanted to believe he could have feelings for me too. I wasn't ready to stop believing quite yet. The very thought of what could be made my heart beat faster.
"Skye, I'm sorry but you have very little time. You have to hurry"
"Why? A.C., May and Ward have only just gone to get some cure or something…"
"They're back. You only have about 2 minutes"
"How do you know?"
"Trust me, I just do"
"Am I going to see you again?"
"Not soon, which is how it's supposed to be. Go and have an amazing life, my baby girl"
"If I don't go what happens?"
She looked at me, her face serious, and said in a grim voice:
"You die"
Yeah. Don't really wanna die yet…
"Got it"
"Skye, please, you have to go"
"How do I do that?"
"Just think about it"
So that was it. I was going back and I wasn't going to see my mom again, not until I died anyway. But I wasn't going to die today and that gave me hope.
"Bye, mom. I'm going to miss you"
"Goodbye, Skye. I love you"
That was it. I closed my eyes and here came nothing.
Three agents rushed into the S.H.I.E.L.D. hospital and run upstairs not bothering to take the elevator. They didn't have much time. One of their own was dying and needed the cure immediately and no way in hell they were letting her go.
When they stormed into the room they saw the relief on the faces of the two agents who had been watching Skye while they were way.
Jemma started talking very fast, panic evident in her voice:
"Oh thank god! Did you get it? She doesn't have any time left! Please say you have it!"
Coulson gave her a small plastic box saying: "Of course we did. Now save our girl"
Jemma took the box from Coulson carefully. Her face became determined as she, without losing any time, took a syringe and filled it with the liquid that was supposed to bring Skye back.
Ward was already by Skye's bed, sitting there unmoving and watching her intently as if willing her to wake up. Coulson was pacing around the room and May was standing in place, her expression unreadable as she was watching Jemma do the job. Leo was watching Skye and Ward with a sad look on his face.
As soon as Jemma filled the syringe she went to Skye's side and injected the cure into her IV.
It was done. Each member on the team watched Skye intently wishing to see any kind of positive reaction and make sure she wasn't leaving them.
Ward was holding her hand tightly, silently begging her to get better and come back to him, to them, wishing to see her beautiful brown eyes again and hear her voice he'd missed so much. His heart was aching. His heart was screaming to bring her back and fill the gap that had been created when his Rookie got shot. How come the youngest member of their team had to get shot? How come did his Rookie manage to get shot before becoming an agent and even before shooting someone herself? She's never even fired a gun at anyone. How did she deserve to get shot? Twice. He was going to kill that motherfucker Quinn but not before inflicting a great deal of pain to him.
She was his sunshine. His loving, innocent, cheerful, bubbly and super talkative Rookie. How could it be that he only realized he loved her with everything he's got only when he almost lost her? Why did he have to be such a fool? She meant too much to him and he should have been there, should have protected her and taken that bullet (bullets) for her. He would have done that gladly. Then it wouldn't hurt so much. Physical pain was nothing in comparison to this. This was torture.
Coulson prayed to God not to take away his child away from him. He only just found her, for god's sake. He hasn't had much time with her. He didn't even get to tell her he was her dad and she was his baby girl, didn't get to tell her how much he loved her, his little girl. Now he was dying from inside and wished he'd done that. It was too much to see his child in such a condition. Dying. His daughter couldn't die, no, not before him. She was just a kid, so young, so awfully young. Too young to take a bullet, saying nothing of two, too young to be dying. Too innocent to feel that pain, too innocent to deserve all of it. He was going to kill Quinn.
They've been waiting for too long and nothing happened. Her vitals weren't improving. The team was beginning to lose their minds. Jemma kept hypnotizing the screen with Skye's vitals as if it would help. Ward wouldn't move from Skye and clutched her hand as if his life depended on it. Well it kind of did. May's mask came off and sadness and fear showed on her face, which scared the rest of them really because right now things were so bad that even May couldn't hide her emotions. Coulson just sat in his chair in front of her bed, paralyzed with fear, unmoving, thinking if that was it, if his child was going to die. Fitz kept blaming himself for the situation they now were in. He should have kept her from going in there, by force if needed. He should have done something.
After an hour or so of nothing the machine suddenly started beeping scaring all of them to death. At first they thought she'd flatlined. But when Jemma looked at the screen properly she saw that her vitals suddenly started improving.
She screamed:
"It worked! Oh my god it really worked!"
The four agents turned their heads from Skye's body to look at her, their eyes wide from shock, relief gradually washing over them. She was going to live.
Coulson rushed to his daughter and whispered, his voice full of relief:
"Thank god"
He started stroking her hair gently and whispering that it was all going to be okay now.
The first thing I registered was some weight on my hand. Something warm and reassuring. I wanted to open my eyes but my eyelids seemed too heavy. It seemed nearly impossible to move as if my body was paralyzed. I felt something squeeze my hand tight and it didn't take long for me to realize someone was holding my hand and that someone was in fact Grant. I could feel him without hearing or seeing him. I've always felt a connection to him. It took me a lot of effort to move my hand and to give him a light squeeze letting him know I was there.
My movement didn't go unnoticed as I heard his voice soon and felt his hand on my face. His touch made my body react. I felt my heart start beating a little bit faster and I struggled even harder to open my eyes, I wanted to see him again so bad.
"Skye?"
Finally I managed to open my eyes and saw his face right in front of mine and tried to smile. I was so happy to see him.
"Skye! Thank god you're back. I've missed you, my annoying Rookie"
I looked into his eyes that were full of happiness and relief. His hand went into my hair and started stroking it soothingly as he was sitting on the bed very close to me and it made me feel better and less aware of the pain. Then he leaned in and put a gentle kiss on my forehead, shocking me by that uncharacteristic act.
Pain. Where did that come from? What happened to me? I looked around. I was in hospital.
"Don't you do it ever again, Rookie. You scared all the crap out of me, out of all of us"
"Why am I here?"
It was very hard to speak, my voice sounded hoarse, but I wanted to talk to him.
He tensed up and gritted his teeth, then said, his eyes fixed on me, his voice tense and serious:
"You got shot, Skye. You went in all alone and nearly got yourself killed"
Suddenly I remembered all of it, every single piece, the bullet, then the other one, Quinn leaving me to die, the incredible pain, dying, then that place between earth and heaven, my mother telling me to go back, then Agent Avery, then seeing the team hurting and finding out A.C. was my father… Then making a decision to come back.
"Skye? Are you in pain?"
I was too observed in my memories to hear him. In my head I could still feel that pain, see all that blood, remember my thoughts when I thought I was going to die.
"Skye. Skye. Look at me!"
I heard him raise his voice and brought my attention back to him, to his worried eyes, to his hands still squeezing mine.
"You're going to be okay, the worst part is over"
I squeezed his hand too, letting him know I appreciate him being here with me. I kept looking into his eyes where I could find everything I needed to know.
"I'm going to call the others. They are worried as hell"
Before he could move away from me, I squeezed his hand tighter not letting him leave, being selfish enough to let the others wait for a few minutes longer.
"I went somewhere"
He sat back on my bed, even closer than before, and said in a soft voice:
"What do you mean, Rookie?"
I was glad my voice was getting stronger because I really wanted to tell him about my experience.
"Some place between here and there"
My answer got him confused. I saw him frown a little. He wasn't sure what I meant.
"Between earth and heaven"
"Skye, are you sure it wasn't a dream?"
"No. I was not here, I was over there. I can prove it, Ward"
I looked at him with determination willing him to believe me. He had to. We had a connection and I wanted him to know what happened and what I knew now.
He took my hand in his again and entwined them, his expression deadly serious.
"Are you serious?"
"Yes. Because I saw myself, my body I mean, and I saw you here in this room"
I paused to watch his reaction and then continued:
"And I heard what you said to me"
"What?"
"You told me and I quote: Don't you dare die while we're out there. Do you understand me, Skye? Don't you dare die. Listen to me for once and stay alive. Keep fighting"
His eyes got wide and his jaw dropped and he was looking at me in disbelief as it dawned on him that I really heard him and was over there because that was exactly what he'd told me. I could tell he believed me now. I've never seen Ward so shocked before.
"Well, please note that I in fact listened to you, even though I was very tempted to stay over there"
He brought my hand to his lips and kissed my knuckles looking at me with a look so tender I could melt.
"And I felt it when you kissed my palm"
He didn't say anything but the way he looked at me and held my hands already said a lot. It said he cared about me, that he was glad I was still there, that he missed me and that he wasn't letting me go again.
Slowly, he leaned in and kissed me tenderly on the forehead. I closed my eyes and let myself enjoy the feeling of his touch and his closeness.
On the spur of the moment, I wrapped my arms around his neck, unable to let him go just yet and wishing to keep him as close as possible, although moving hurt like hell, I was willing to bear the physical pain just to have him close and be able to inhale his smell again.
We stayed like that, me holding on to Grant desperately, too scared to let him go, for quite a while. He didn't seem to mind at all. He started to stroke my hair and whispering in my ear that from now on everything was going to be okay.
"You need to rest, Skye. I'll call the others and then you are going to have some rest"
I gave out a soft whimper as he pulled away from me, gently untangling himself from my hold on him.
"Sorry. When you're a bit stronger you can hug me all you want, Rookie"
I looked at him to make sure he wasn't kidding. He looked down at me with a loving smile that made my heart skip a beat.
"I'll be right back, okay?"
Putting a kiss on my temple he walked into the hall. I thought about what my mother told me about A.C. and how I was going to tell him I knew his secret and mainly how. Maybe I'll just wait and see if he was going to tell me he is my dad himself? Although I did have a feeling that if he hadn't told me till now he wasn't really planning on telling me soon.