Random Generic AU-ish Parody.... CHAPTER UNO!

B/N

This is a true collaberation fic. Neko has written this first chapter for us, and I (Grimm) am BETA-ing it for her. The next chapter will be written by me, BETA-ed by Kyki. The chapter after that will be written by Kyki, BETA-ed by Neko. After that will come Alex's chapter, BETA-ed by Kyki. Then Khairin's chapter, BETA-ed by me. The Neko again.

In short, we have no idea how this story will turn out, but I guess that's the plus side!

~Grimm (who did not write this chapter)

PS we're jam-packing it with annoying BETA notes. Whenever it's someone's turn to BETA, you'll hear a lot of what they think of the story. TRUST ME. You're going to get so annoyed by the BETAS and you'll want to hack into our website database and delete all of our stuff. But you can't. You know why?

CUZ NOBODY FRACKIN GOES TO THE WEBSITE ANYWAY, I NEVER UPDATE IT, SO THERE'S NOTHING FOR YOU TO DELETE!

And now it's time for the story.

There was a slight tremor in the force. The world had stopped and, against all odds, began spinning backwards. Then it stopped. A bird died. THe world began spinning forwards again as if nothing had happened... but that backwards spinning changed the world. It changed it from a world we could tolerate to a world that was so effed-up nobody would ever be able to understand it. Suburbs became ghetto. Pittsburgh became full of rude people. Small children actually bathed without complaining. Twilight stopped sucking. B/N -- Neko doesn't like Twilight. Other members of the group don't agree with her on this. All views expressed in this chapter are not the views of the group, they are the views of Neko. Only one thing could have messed up the world enough to do this. That's right, Neko/i like tea actually started writing something for the CD account. B/N -- Because I threatened her.

Of course, Watanuki made a big fuss. Why? Because that's all he's good at. And his big fuss did little to faze Domeki because Domeki is the emo heartthrob of this particular anime/manga and so he's never fazed.

"Didn't you feel that?" Watanuki asked Domeki.

"No" was the gorgeous, sexy, totally-deserving-of-being-the-protagonist-this-modifier-is-making-Mr.-Balof-happy-yes-Mr.-Balof-reads-fanfiction-he's-just-that-

lame-not-that-our-readers-are-lame-but-he-reads-them-in-between-his-shifts-at-his-job-as-a-topless-bartender reply. B/N -- You want to know who Mr. Balof is? Go google "Chicago gay bartenders" and "Bradly Balof". I kid you not, you will see pictures of mine and Neko's Language Arts student teacher in drag.

"But I felt it!" Watanuki said helplessly. Aw, he's so lonely. DOMEKI, SAVE HIM!

"And I always feel everything you feel?" Domeki raised an eyebrow, the most expression he ever really showed.

"Oh yeah..." Watanuki mentally cursed himself for making himself look like a fool when compared to Domeki. Oh well, at least Himawari-chan wasn't here to witness this humiliation.

"Watnuki-kun! Domeki-kun!" Himawari shouted as she ran up to the loser and the hunk. Watanuki almost fell over. So she did hear him! This day pretty much sucked so far. At least it couldn't get any worse.

"All Students please report to the auditorium for a special announcement!" Came from the speaker, "Of course, we could just tell you what's going on, but we enjoy wasting yourf time too much. Wait, what do you mean this thing is still on? How do you turn it off?... Don't give me that attitude, you mother-" Watanuki, Domeki, and Himawari shrugged and went to the auditorium.

Once everyone was inside and seated, a young... dude, is that a woman or a man? WHatever, a young something stood in front of the students, and smirked.

"Hello, everyone," he, definitely a guy, said.

"Hello, assistant-principal Star," answered everyone. Yeah, Their assistant-principal is Jeffree Star. That's how fabulous the school was.

"I'm here with some bad news," assistant-principal Star said, "It seems that our principal is dead."

"I'm not dead!" Shouted up a British man with a heavy Liverpool accent. B/N -- Oh she totally stole that from me! DIE NEKO! Um... carry on.

"Shut up," retorted assistant-principal Star, "As I was saying, our principal is dead. And as your assistant principal, I should be the principal, but I'm too busy with my new album, available at stores everywhere, so I'm not gonna do it. Instead, say hello to Yuuko-sensei. She's your new principal and new overlord. And as payment, all I had to do as give her my soul. Isn't that a bargain?" B/N -- Oh my frackin...

Watnuki almost fell over. Again. "Why is Yuuko-san our principal? She has no teaching experience!" B/N -- Or experience in anything.

"Because I said so, bitch." assistant-principal Star said.

"But-" Watanuki stopped after Yuuko gave him her evilest glare yet. B/N -- All she had to do was sing. Really.

"Thank you, Jeffree-kun,"

"I prefer Jeffree-chan." Answered the queen of The Internet.

"Makes sense," said Yuuko. In the seats, our three heroes glanced at each other. Himawari turned to Watanuki, her eyes wide.

"Watanuki-kun?" she asked, looking adorable and moa. Watanuki fell over with hearts flying around his ears.

"Yes, Himawari-chan?"

"The chapter's gonna end soon, isn't it?" she asked. Watanuki got up and glared at the five authoresses staring down at them. Neko continued to write on their heads. Grimm plucked a few periods and exchanged them for commas. Khairin drooled over a picture of Syaoran. Alex looked at Watanuki and Domeki with a oh-my-gosh-they-are-the-perfect-pairing-I-so-know-what-I-am-doing-for-my-chapter look. Kyki danced around in Tohru cosplay while studying for her finals. Watanuki turned back to Himawari and said loud enough so that they could all hear him...

"Yeah. It's because our authoress is just a lazy little-"

A/N:

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