This has to be the most ridiculous thing I've ever written. And yet it still manages to be terribly, horribly sad. I blame Derek.
This started off when I was complaining to Manda (shisoueimin) about the phrase "climb him like a tree" and she said she wanted tree!Derek fic, and then Stiles was the squirrel climbing him and it ended up in a surprisingly(?) long conversation about all the characters as animals and then eventually I started writing it. And here we are.
Derek is an oak tree. I looked up the type of squirrel Stiles is at the time of the original conversation but I can't remember what it was now; some kind of squirrel native to California. Scott is, I believe, a floppy-eared hound dog. Because that seems appropriate.
When inspiration strikes again I will add to the tale of Derek the oak tree and bring in the other characters. For now...enjoy the crack?
After the fire, Derek goes to sleep for a long time.
When he wakes up, the grove has changed: there are saplings and new growth everywhere, but he is the tallest tree in all directions. The only one left.
He wonders why he woke up.
—
It's spring, and the saplings are starting to flower and grow leaves. Derek isn't. He feels hollow inside, scarred and burned and nothing like how a tree should feel in the spring. His grove is quiet; animals don't come near. He is useless like this. A tree that doesn't grow leaves, that doesn't provide for the forest, is worse than a dead tree. A dead tree can provide shelter. A dead tree feeds insects, and insects feed many. Live trees and dead trees have a purpose, but Derek feels neither alive nor dead.
Derek has no purpose.
—
It is early summer, and the forest is in bloom, just out of Derek's reach. The animals still stay away, still have no use for a half-alive oak tree, until one day there is a sound. A chirping, chattering sound, and it is headed straight for Derek. It's a squirrel, and it climbs Derek's useless, charred trunk without hesitation, and a moment later Derek sees why. It's being chased.
The dog runs up, barking a laugh, and Derek feels the instinctive protectiveness of all trees for living things in their branches. He sways and creaks at the dog, who jumps back in surprise. The squirrel laughs at it.
"Can't get me now, can you?" the squirrel chatters at the dog. "I win!"
"You cheated!" the dog barks back. "You know I can't climb trees!"
"You can totally climb this one," the squirrel says. "Look at all those low branches. Just jump on one."
The dog whines, and moves in close to Derek's trunk to take a sniff. "This tree is weird, Stiles. Come on, let's go back to the rest of the forest."
"This tree is not weird," Stiles the squirrel says. "This tree is awesome, and it's mine. I claim it. You go back; I'm gonna explore my new tree."
Stiles climbs further up Derek's trunk and starts hopping from branch to branch, and Derek wonders what must be wrong with this squirrel to not recognize a useless tree when he sees one.
"Stiles," the dog whines. "Come back down, this tree is creepy." He looks around the rest of the grove, and Derek hopes the squirrel listens and goes away. Derek is no place for a squirrel.
"Nope," Stiles says, flicking his tail against Derek's trunk as he surveys the ground below. "I told you, this is my tree now. I'm not leaving."
Derek shakes his branches, trying to tell the squirrel that Derek does not belong to him and he should go away. When Stiles runs back down his trunk, Derek is satisfied that the message got through.
But Stiles doesn't leave; he just runs out on a low-lying branch and taunts the dog. "C'mon, Scott," he says, his bushy tail moving rapidly, "thought you were gonna catch me today?"
Scott the dog bounds over to the branch Stiles is on, snapping his teeth in the air. Derek shakes a branch menacingly at him as Stiles scurries away again, and Scott stops short. "I don't think this tree likes me," he yelps.
"That's because you called him creepy and weird," Stiles says from his perch safely out of the dog's reach. Derek cannot be a home for a squirrel, but he can't let this dog eat him, either. Even if the squirrel is basically asking for it.
"So you're just going to stay up there all day?" Scott asks.
"I think so," Stiles answers. He moves up even higher, and runs out to the very tip of a branch. It sways under his weight, and Derek is worried. He tries to keep the branch still.
"What am I supposed to do?" Scott whines. He trots back to Derek's trunk and raises up, placing his front paws on the bark, and looks at Stiles.
"You're supposed to chase me," Stiles calls back. He leaps onto another branch and barely makes it. Derek wishes they would both just leave. He can't be held responsible for this squirrel's safety forever.
"Fine," Scott barks in determination. He goes back to the low-lying branch Stiles had been on before and climbs ungracefully up on top of it. Now that the dog is on one of his branches, Derek shudders out a sigh. They should have just left. He can't take care of them.
"Stiles!" Scott yelps happily, his blunt dog nails digging into the rough bark of the branch. Derek feels it, but it doesn't hurt any more than the tiny squirrel nails that have been scurrying all over. "I did it, Stiles! I climbed the tree!"
"Way to go, buddy!" Stiles chatters back, diving down through Derek's branches until he's only slightly higher up than Scott. "Can you make it up to this one?"
"Sure," Scott answers easily, bunching his legs under him, gathering up his strength for the jump. He doesn't land cleanly; he's barely holding on with his front paws and has to scramble to make it all the way. Stiles squeaks his concern and rushes towards Scott and away, like he's not sure how to help. Finally Scott gets all four feet on top of the branch, and he and Stiles dance around happily.
"I told you Scott, this tree is awesome," Stiles says triumphantly. He runs between Scott's legs and heads back up Derek's trunk.
"I guess it's not so bad," Scott yips after him.
Deep in the ground Derek's roots twitch, and he doesn't know what it means.