~Studio floor, camera rolling~
"Pi pika pika chu!" Pikachu sat in what used to be Regis Phibin's seat. "Pika pi pika chu!"
The audience cheered.
"Chu pika pika pi. Chu pi pika pika chaa chu pi pikachu."
New, less annoying music came on. It stopped and Pikachu continued.
"Pika pikachu pi ka pi chu kachu pika pi pika chu chu cha. Pikachu pi kachaa pi pika..pi?!"
"Yeeees!" Leo cried happily and walked up to the hotseat. Everyone booed.
Leo looked confused. "What? Why are they booing?"
"Pikachu pi pika!" And with that, Pikachu shocked Leo to death.
"Pi," Pikachu said as the audience roared their approval. "Chu pi pika pi?"
"Hello, all you fans!" A toy spaceman walked up to the hotseat and used his jetpacks to fly up into the chair.
"Pika pi chu pika?" [A toy is on my show?]
"Sure, why not?" Buzz shrugged. "You've had Jedi, angels, and weird perverted actors...why not toys? Besides, the author didn't know who else to put in here."
"Pikachu...pi, pikachu pi pika pi kachu-pichu pik apika, pika chu cha, pi pika, kacha pi?" [When does A Tale of Two Cities open? A. 1792; b.1885; c.1775; or d. 1999?] Buzz smiled. "I believe that would be c. 1775. I remember that from watching a very educational TV show in Andy's room."
"Pi.."
"Wishbone," Buzz said proudly.
A sweatdrop appeared on Pikachu's forehead. "Kachu pikachu." [Errrr. yeah....] "Pika. Pi pika pi...." [Um, let's get on to the next question...]
Buzz made it up to $125,000 before he bombed the question "What is the name of Wishbone's master on the TV show 'Wishbone'?" (The answer was 'Joe', Buzz said 'Ewan'.)
"Pika pika. Kachu pi pika-"
"Stop right there!" Two figures suddenly jumped out and landed in front of Pikachu.
"Pi pika? Pikachu!" [Obi-Wan and Monica? But you're dead!]
"Huh?" The figures facefaulted.
"No, you stupid rat!" the girl yelled. "I'm Jessie!"
"And I'm James!" declared James.
"The real Team Rocket!" they cried.
"Not those embarrassing imposters that were on the other night." James shuddered. "They didn't even say the motto right!"
"I know! It's 'Prepare for trouble!'" yelled Jessie.
"And make it double!" added James.
"To protect the world from devastation!"
"To unite all peoples within our nation!"
"To denouwah wah wah wuh!"
"To exteuh wah wahn wah wuh wuhhh!"
Team Rocket slapped their hands over their mouths.
"Wuh wah wah wahun uh?" Subtitles suddenly appeared in the middle of nowhere onstage.
Jessie: Why are we talking like the adults in the Peanuts cartoons? "Uh wuh wuuuun whua whaaaa!"
James: I don't know! I sound horrible!
"Wah wah whuuu whuu wah!"
Jessie: This is all your fault!
"Pika? Pi pi pikachu?"
"Wah whuuu wuh!"
Jessie: It just is!
"Pika pi pika chu! Kachu pi pichu pikachaa!" Pikachu prepared to shock Team Rocket.
"Wait!" Buzz suddenly rushed back up onstage. "I know why you're all talking like this!"
"Wuh?"
Jessie and James: Why?
Buzz raised a finger. "Because the author was at a writer's block and had nothing else to put in except this stupid idea!"
Author: THAT IS NOT TRUE.
Buzz looked puzzled. "Well, why then?"
Author: I DID NOT START MAKING THEM TALK LIKE THAT.
"How do we know we can trust you?" challenged Buzz.
Author: BECAUSE I LIKE TEAM ROCKET AND WOULD NOT MAKE THEM TALK LIKE STUPID IDIOTS. NOW OUT OF MY STORY, SPACEMAN.
Buzz suddenly disappeared.
"Yay!" yelled James. "I can talk normally again!"
"Ahhhhh," sighed Jessie. "That's much better. Now let's see...what were we doing? Meowth is on vacation, Regis is dead, James needed suntan lotion, I was making an appointment for a manicure, the boss wanted us to capture Pikachu-"
"Pikachu!" Jessie and James remembered.
Jessie pointed at Pikachu. "You're ours!"
The audience booed again, louder.
"Get them outta here!"
"Don't let them take Pikachu!"
"Away with Team Rocket!"
Sweatdrops appeared on their foreheads. "Now, now, you didn't think we were really going to take Pika-"
"OH MY GOSH!!!!" Suddenly a girl ran down the steps and dropped to her knees at Team Rocket's feet. "I LOVE YOU GUYS! I worship the ground you stand on! Team Rocket is like my most favorite part of Pokemon! You guys are my favorite characters! Can I have an autograph? A picture?" She whipped out a few pics of Jessie and James, along with a camera.
Jessie and James beamed, forgetting about Pikachu. "We have fans! All right!"
The girl handed the camera to someone in the audience and took a few pics with Team Rocket. Then they signed some of the better pictures of themselves. Looking like they were having a very good time, they broke into song.
"You know us as Team Rocket and we fight for what is wrong!" "We're tired of our motto so we though we'd try this song." "Jessie." "James." "The speed of light!" "Prepare to fi-"
"PIKA! Pi pika pika pi chu pika chu kacha!" [STOP! My show is not for Team Rocket fans!] Pikachu looked pissed. [Get outta here!]
"DON'T INSULT MY IDOLS!" the girl screamed and charged at Pikachu.
Looking disgusted, Pikachu shocked the girl, who fell to the floor in a smoking heap.
Team Rocket was shocked (no pun intended). "You killed our fan!" James cried.
Jessie's eyes burned. "No one gets away with killing a fan of ours! Arbok, Likitung, go!"
"Weezing, Victrebell, go!" James yelled. "Get that Pikachu!"
Weezing, Victrebell, Arbok, and Likitung appeared and looked threateningly at Pikachu.
"Attack!" Jessie and James commanded.
The four all lunged at Pikachu. Pikachu waited tensely for Ash to tell it to do a thunderbolt/shock/jolt/spark/whatever when it suddenly realized that Ash wasn't there right that very second.
That one second cost Pikachu a lot of time.
"Liki!" Likitung's long pink tounge shot out and slapped Pikachu in the face.
"Chaaaaaarbok!" Arbok's tail slammed into Pikachu, throwing it out of the seat.
"Weeeeeezing!" Weezing tackled Pikachu, who was thrown across the stage.
"Aieeeeeeeee!" Victrebell clamed onto James' head.
"Nut me, attkkk 'em!!!" James's muffled voice came from inside Victrebell.
Suddenly a boy ran in, with a girl and another boy following. "Pikachu!" the boy yelled.
"Hey, Ash!" the girl ran over to Pikachu and Ash. "What happened?"
"We were about to catch it, that's what!" Jessie snapped. "Why do you always stop us?"
"Because they're the enemy and are forced to stop us for the sake of the TV show?" James suggested, pushing Victrebell away.
Jessie thought about it. "That's true..."
"Tracy, do have a potion for Pikachu?" Ash asked the older boy.
"Tracy?" exclaimed Jessie. "The other night Brock was on!"
"Well, time in the Pokemon world goes a lot faster than time here, so actually a few weeks passed, not just days," Tracy explained. "So Brock left and I came. Not that I've ever met Brock, anyhow..."
"All right," Ash said, looking mad. "Time to battle! I choose you....Snorlax!"
"Snorlax?" Team Rocket cried. "Uh-oh!"
"Snorlax!" Ash yelled. "Do your...your...um..." He looked at Misty. "Misty, what are Snorlax's attacks?"
"It's your Pokemon, you should know! Misty snapped.
A sweatdrop appeared on Ash's forehead. "Um..."
"Zzzzzzzz," snored Snorlax and promptly rolled over and squished the hotseat, Pikachu's seat, and the computers flat.
"Piiiiika!"
"Zzzzzzz," was the only response.
"This is stupid," said Jessie. "I'm not standing around waiting for Pikachu to be in a good enough mood to be captured. Arbok, Likitung, attack!"
"Weezing, Victrebell, get them!" James added.
The Pokemon attacked so suddenly that no one had time to react. Ash, Pikachu, and Misty flew out of New York and went back to wherever they had come from. Tracy wasn't as lucky and when he was smacked by Arbok he flew out of the studio and slammed into a building, falling several hundred feet to the ground and getting run over by 10 million taxis, ultimately dying after hours of painful torture (yes!!! ). Snorlax was too heavy to move and ended up becoming a national monument in New York as it kept sleeping and only woke up once in a blue moon to eat. Team Rocket rebuilt the studio somewhere else and turned "Who Wants to Kill a Millionaire?" into "Who Wants to be a Team Rocket Fan?" and had that show ranked #1 in the world for 20 years straight before being beat out by the first episode of "Who Wants to Kill a Millionaire?" that was re-run for the 1st time after 10 years. Brock returned to the Pokemon show and everyone was happy.
THE END