Oh, it's good to be back. Yes, I haven't written anything in a while. I'm sorry. I'm working on it. School has been mad, and my muse doesn't seem to like finishing whatever I start.
Anyway. This is half a post ep for "Hunt", and half reminiscence on my own cure for nightmares, as it were.
I have a semi-vague idea for a tag to the ending of this, but we'll have to see when/if it ever gets written.
Usual Disclaimer applies: I don't own Castle or ABC, I just borrow the characters to write about them.
"And why do we fall, Bruce? So we can learn to pick ourselves back up." -Thomas Wayne-Batman Begins
She woke with a half-strangled scream, her body bathed in cold sweat. Alexis breathed out shakily, a trembling hand raised to push back her hair.
Dead. Again. The Russian had finished his countdown and he— her grandfather? What was she supposed to call him?—hadn't revealed himself and her father lay dead on the floor while she beat helplessly against the bars of her cage, pleading. And the time before that, the searing burn of a bullet entering her own body, the helpless slide to the floor of the cage, her Dad's eyes fixed helplessly on her before a bullet ended his own life. It just wouldn't stop.
She sighed and turned over, squinting at the alarm clock on the dresser. 2:43 AM.
Maybe she could just…yes, that was it. She would go downstairs and check on him. Just a look through the bedroom door. Make sure he was safe, with Beck—with Kate. And then she could make herself a cup of tea and go back to bed.
Alexis carefully slid out of bed, eyeing the tangled wrinkle of sheets distastefully. Yes, a cup of tea sounded good. And perhaps some fresh sheets. But…after she checked on her father. Just to be sure.
She padded out into the hallway silently, checking over her shoulder to make sure she hadn't woken her grandmother. Nimble feet stepped over the one creaking floorboard just before the stairs—she could never quite get her father to admit that he wouldn't have it fixed because it made an excellent warning system for laser tag—and she made her way down, eyes squinting in the dimmed light of the middle of the night.
She was steps away from the office when a quiet rustle sounded behind her, followed by a muffled grunt. Alexis whipped around, her heart beating in overtime. There, shrouded on the couch in a small pile of blankets, sat Kate Beckett.
She relaxed, her breath stuttering. "Oh."
"Alexis?" Kate untangled her legs from one of the throws, struggling to sit up. "Are you okay?"
"I—," Her reply strangled off in her throat, mind changing tact mid-thought. "What are you doing out here?"
Beckett ducked her head, gaze dropping to the floor. "I was…" She shook her head. "It's nothing. Are you…did you have a nightmare?"
Alexis faltered, chewing her lip. "I…yeah." Her shoulders slumped. "How did you…how did you know?"
The detective smiled a little strangely, pushing off from her nest on the couch to stand. Even barefoot, she stood taller than Alexis, lithe frame clothed in black leggings and what had to be one of her father's shirts, given how it draped overlarge on the detective. Kate approached her cautiously; hazel eyes strangely dim in the half-light. "How many near-death experiences have I had in the time that you've known me?"
"I—oh." She giggled, wincing at the near-hysterical edge to it. "I didn't think about it like that."
Large, knowing eyes pinned her with a look that teetered between sadness and sympathy. Kate tilted her head. "I know I'm not your Dad, but…want to talk about it?"
"I…" Her gaze flickered over to the closed office door.
Beckett shifted back, nodding as if she understood. "It's okay. You can go check on him."
"I—I don't…if I talk, it will make it real, in my head. I can't take that." She was babbling, words tumbling in a jumbled stream from her lips. "He's d-dead in my dreams and then I wake up and I-I'm here and I'm still not sure if we're safe or if I'm still in that cage watching and I can't…"
"Alexis." Kate's gentle voice silenced the stream of words as quickly as it had bubbled up. She inclined her head towards the office. "Why do you think I'm sleeping out here?"
"I…you have to go to work tomorrow?" She didn't understand the subject change at all. She glanced around, searching for a reason why the detective would be sleeping alone in the middle of the loft when she could be with—. "Oh."
The brunette smiled, nodding. She gestured to the closed doors again. "Go check on your Dad. I'll go make us some tea."
Alexis nodded jerkily and shuffled to the door, her heart back to pounding in her ears. It was silly, foolish even. She knew he was alive. But the images kept flickering up behind her eyes. She just needed to check.
Just like Kate needed to be there in the middle of the loft, where she could protect both of them. Not for the first time since they'd gotten back, Alexis felt a surge of love for the detective. Her father's partner.
Shoulders hitched up around her ears, she cracked the door open and peered in, holding her breath. Her eyes adjusted to the dark, easily picking out the blanket draped form of her father, sprawled in the middle of the bed. His arm was curled tightly around the pillow from Kate's side of the bed, and as she watched, his chest rose and fell, breath rumbling out in the familiar quiet snore. Alexis stood there, watching him breathe for a minute, until the tight ball of fear wound in her chest eased.
He was alive. They were home. They were safe.
She stepped back with a quiet sigh, gentle fingers pulling the door closed. She turned to head back out into the living room, intent on heading back to bed. She could handle this. She would get over this. Everything was going to be okay.
Kate cleared her throat as she approached, palms cradled around two steaming mugs of tea. She raised her eyebrows, eyes flicking to the closed bedroom door. "Sleeping?"
Alexis relaxed with a slight smile, taking the mug with a murmur of thanks. "Drooling on your pillow and snoring."
"Mmm, better it than me." She gestured with her free hand to the pile of blankets on the couch. "There's space for two." She tilted her head to the side, studying the girl. "And I also have a digital copy of Tangled on my laptop." Hazel eyes twinkled with mischief. "Don't tell your father."
Suddenly, the couch and a fun movie sounded a whole lot more appealing than the nightmare tangled sheets waiting up in her bedroom. Alexis approached the couch hesitantly, mug cradled between her hands. "Are you sure?"
Kate glanced up from where she was crouched over the bag resting at the foot of the couch. Her lips twisted in a half smile. "My mom used to do this with me, when I was little. Whenever I had a nightmare…my dad was always a really heavy sleeper. But Mom…sometimes all I had to do was open the door and she was up. And she would sit up with me. We'd watch whatever Disney VHS I could find, and she made this huge pile of blankets on the sofa, and we'd fall asleep watching movies, and my nightmares went away." She shrugged, gaze flitting to the office again as she lifted her laptop out of the bag. "Besides. It helps. Being close to what you're afraid of losing. Being close…it helps keep the nightmares at bay."
Alexis nodded after a minute, sinking down onto the couch. She sipped her tea in silence as the older woman set up the laptop before joining her, settling down a scant few inches away. Kate eyed her sidelong as her hand hovered over the trackpad, about to press 'Play'. "Hey."
She looked over, raising an eyebrow in question. Kate grinned and leaned in to bump her shoulder. "You'll be okay, kid."
Small explanation for the movie/tea ritual Beckett mentions-my Mom used to do the same for me when I had bad nightmares. We'd make a blanket fort on the couch and cuddle up with the dogs and a few Disney movies or whatever we could find on VHS at the time. Might explain my proclivity for falling asleep on couches now that I think about it...Anyways, just a small bit of trivia. Fun facts, if you will.
Thoughts? Review box is right down there.
-M