This fic was inspired by "Human" by The Human League. Just got the glimmering of a fic one day. Decided to sit and write. J
Title: Human
Author: Mrs. Shinigami
Archive: This one
Pairings: 1x2
Warnigs: ::shudders:: a small 1xRelena, and some angst.
Heero closed his hot fevered eyelids in a futile attempt to sleep. But
every time they slid over his blue orbs, he saw two beautiful jewel like crystal violet eyes staring straight at him. Into him. They were brimming with tears from a heart that he knew he had broken.
Come on, baby, dry your eyes
Wipe your tears
Never like to see you cry
Won't you please forgive me?
Rolling over in between the hot cotton sheets, he reached over to the other side of the queen sized bed for the familiar landscape of a hip, curve of waist and shoulder. There was nothing to be found. The big bed was unfamiliar and huge without him. Heero moved over to the other side, which was cool and slightly comforting. Burying his head in the pillow, Heero realized he could still smell the scent of the shampoo Duo used before he went to bed. Head and Shoulders. He choked back a sob as he stared up at the ceiling.
I wouldn't ever try to hurt you
I just needed someone to hold me
to fill the void while you were gone
To fill this space of emptiness
A dull ache settled over Heero's heart as he recollected the day as if it happened before he went to bed. It was a Tuesday night. Starry and clear dark blue. The moon shone silver in the sky and a chill wind breathed its way across the streets. He and Duo went to a party Relena was having, just to be polite as always. Duo was passed out on the couch, head lolling to one side, a bottle of beer forgotten in his hand, dribbling onto her carpet. He had been too drunk to drive. Relena had led him upstairs to her private quarters. There they sat and talked through most of the night, sipping white wine from fluted glasses. He found her less and less grating on his nerves, less annoying. She even seemed attractive. Be it the wine or the atmosphere, but passion burned white hot for her that night. It ran molten through his veins as he swept her up in his arms. . .as she ran her delicate fingertips over the numerous battle scars on the smooth skin of his back and chest . . .as he ran his hands through her soft wheat colored hair. . .as their lovemaking reached a fevered pitch and he shouted her name . . .as he kissed the sweat from her brow and face whispering sweetly into her ear before letting sleep envelop him.
He awakened the next morning, naked and with a headache with the force of a forcefully hurled brick pounding at his temples. He was sticking to the velvet couch with sweat, cheap wine, and day old beer. Then he saw her, sleeping contentedly beside him in the same condition as he was, but he could detect a touch of emotion on that sleeping face. It was outright look of someone who had triumphed over something. . .or someone. Heero was about to shake her roughly awake when he heard the door to the room whisper open.
I'm only human
of flesh and blood, I'm made
Human
Born to make mistakes
(Oh, his eyes)
Duo's eyes settled on the scene before him. Heero, the man he had learned to respect and just recently love as reverently as a god, naked with the girl with who he shared a mutual loathing. His eyes were at first surprised, but quickly glazed over with hurt and Heero could see something far away in the back of the amethyst orbs shatter. It was his heart. It now glittered in rivers of tears that streamed unheeded down his face. Duo whispered three words and closed the door behind him. "Good bye, Heero."
So many nights I longed to hold you
So many times I looked and saw your face
Nothing could change the way I feel
No one else could ever take your place.
He returned to the apartment where they both lived later that day. He jiggled the key in the door, apologies already on his lips. He swung the door open and the feeling of unwelcome settled over him. Boxes were stacked in the living room, and rustle was heard coming from the bedroom he and Duo shared. Oh no, he thought and dashed to the bedroom. Duo was gathering his belongings from the closet and folding them neatly in the wardrobe box that dominated his side of the bed. Duo looked at Heero with all the hurt and pain he could muster. Lines of sorrow were evident on the smooth face aging it prematurely. Wisps and chunks of hair escaped the messy, hastily made braid as he swept through the apartment gathering his possessions. Heero just walked brokenly to the living room, unable to speak for his actions and sat down upon the couch. Quatre came over and hour later to help Duo. He had given him a place to live until Duo could strike out on his own. Quatre hefted the boxes unto his pick truck he had borrowed from Trowa. After all was done, Duo dropped the apartment keys onto the kitchen counter. It was the first sound made that large apartment that whole day. Tears once again ran down Duo's face as he toyed with the keys he had dropped. Quatre gently took his arm and lead him out of the apartment and silently shut the door behind him. A moment later, Heero could hear the hesitant sound of a internal combustion engine starting, and then fade as it moved further away from him. Heero got up from the couch, still numb from the shock of Duo leaving him. He stumbled as if unsure of his own footsteps down the hallway to the bedroom he had shared with the man who taught him how to love. Unknowingly, he bumped into the right wall of the hall. Heero reached up to the wall to steady himself. The plaster was cooling to the touch, and he rested his head against it. Running his hand over the uneven drywall, he felt cuts under his finger tips. Squinting in the dimly lit hallway, he looked closely at the scratches. Then memory came rushing in breaking over him like a wave.
(Oh Heero, I love this place. . .Let me see your pocket knife, I'm going to officially make it ours.
'What are you going to do?' Heero has asked.
Oh, nothing much, just marking it as ours. . .)
D. M.
+
H.Y.
Heero's eyes misted over with stinging tears as he leaned against the wall lovingly stroking the initials so carefully carved into the plaster.
I'm only human
Of flesh and blood, I'm made
Human
Born to make mistakes
Heero sat back in his bed, tears burning like acid down his cheeks. He never liked to relive what happened three long weeks ago, but it seemed a fitting punishment to what he had done. Glancing at the red numbers on the clock beside the bed, he picked up a pack of cigarettes and lit one. As the harsh smoke exited his lungs he looked outside to a day as gray and apathetic as his life. Heero blew a smoke ring, it floated, gray-blue to the ceiling and dissipated as it hit the plaster bumps. He laughed mirthlessly to himself. I might as well go outside and get myself some fresh air today, he thought. Crushing the now yellow butt in the overflowing ashtray, the phone rang jangling and loud. Heero ignored it as he pulled on a moth eaten tee-shirt and headed to the bathroom. Coming out five minutes later with a foaming toothbrush hanging out of his mouth, he padded over to the table that the answering machine stood upon. He pressed the play button:
"Ten. . .Thirty. . .Five. . .A. . .M. . .", stated the automatic voice. Then a pause. "Heero? Are you there? I was just wondering if you would like to have lunch with me today, if aren't doing anything-" The tinny semblance of Relena's voice was slashed short as Heero viciously jabbed the delete/rewind button. A dark line appeared in his brow. That girl will never quit, I wish she would get a clue.
Sitting on his kitchen counter indian-style, Heero nibbled upon a slightly burnt piece of toast and sipped at bitter black coffee. He absent mindedly dusted the crumbs from his black jeans as he leaned against the wall. He placed on black booted foot on the other wall and left the other swinging in the space between the kitchen counter and the sink. As he finished his breakfast, he jumped own from the counter and stared out the window over the sink. The clouds hung gray and low as a distant rumble portended foul weather. Heero walked to the door of his apartment and as almost a second thought, he grabbed a black leather trench coat to cover what his night blue tee-shirt could not.
The streets were nearly devoid of people. The brave souls who were out were rushing about buying supplies before the thunderstorm hit. Heero ran a thin hand through his hair as the wind picked up and blew the lower parts of his coat out behind him. He thrust his hands deeper into the pockets of the coat as he grimly walked on.
Before long, Heero reached the park. Walking in, he sat on the bench. He watched as cautious mothers pulled children from swings and playground equipment to take them home before the rain started. The wind now howled about like a mad thing. The flower petals blew off of the budding trees and swirled about like snow. A drop of rain, heavy and cold landed on Heero's forehead. As he turned his head up, its brethren joined its downward descent to the earth. People rushed to open umbrellas or they ran to their cars trying not to get more soaked then they already were. In the midst of the chaos of finding their loved ones so they could go home and dry, no one noticed the young man on the bench, face up piously as if he worshipped the very clouds that burst the downpour upon his face. It felt like the heavens where washing away the hurt and pain with every tear of rain it shed. Clean, sweet rainwater ran down his face, and into his mouth. It felt so good to him. Sitting up, Heero opened his eyes and looked out. The playground, the park was empty. Except for one person. A figure in all black was watching him from a distance. Standing up, he felt a familiarity with him. As he walked towards the figure, the figure walked at the same easy pace towards him. His features became more apparent to Heero as he closed in . . .a black trench coat like his. . .a pair of black leather gloves covered slender hands that grasped the black umbrella. . . a braid of long chestnut hair . . .eyes of knowing violet twilight. . . Heero's face smiled in greeting, but fell in the midst of doubting feelings. What if he forgot what we had. . .what if he is with some one else. . .what if. . .what if. . But when Duo threw his umbrella aside with sudden abandon and held his arms out open wide, Heero looking in his eyes. The questions all died on his lips as he ran through puddle and mud into Duo's strong awaiting arms. After they embraced for what felt like an eternity, Heero grasped Duo's face between his hands. The long bangs and eyelashes were jeweled with drops of rain. A droplet was trembling precariously of the tip of his nose. Moisture dotted his lips. Heero wanted to keep that image in his mind forever. Falling to his knees and grasping the one who had haunted his dreams like a lifeline Heero wept bitterly.
"Duo, please, please forgive me. I never meant to hurt you . . .I miss you. Your laughter, the way you make me feel, the way you love me. I finally realize how much of me is missing when you are gone, and I hope to all the gods in all the worlds that you will find it in your heart. . ."
Duo still stood tall and proud, just watching Heero. Then finally, at the end of long moments, he gently placed one gloved hand on the top of Heero's rain soaked head, and stroked tenderly. Heero stood back up. He kissed his beloved's cheeks and came away tasting salty drops.
The tears I cry aren't tears of pain
They're only to hide my guilt and shame
I forgive you now I ask the same as you
While we were apart I was human too
Duo shook his head and looked in his eyes expectantly. "Heero-I. . ."
"Shhhhhhhh. . ." I care not what you have done these past three weeks. You have me now, and all is forgiven my love. Let's move on with our lives together."
Duo's eyes widened with astonishment, then devotion. Turning towards home, Heero walked a bit. Then in an afterthought, he offered his right hand out behind him. Duo smiled exquisitely and took it as the rain softly pelted them.
Title: Human
Author: Mrs. Shinigami
Archive: This one
Pairings: 1x2
Warnigs: ::shudders:: a small 1xRelena, and some angst.
Heero closed his hot fevered eyelids in a futile attempt to sleep. But
every time they slid over his blue orbs, he saw two beautiful jewel like crystal violet eyes staring straight at him. Into him. They were brimming with tears from a heart that he knew he had broken.
Come on, baby, dry your eyes
Wipe your tears
Never like to see you cry
Won't you please forgive me?
Rolling over in between the hot cotton sheets, he reached over to the other side of the queen sized bed for the familiar landscape of a hip, curve of waist and shoulder. There was nothing to be found. The big bed was unfamiliar and huge without him. Heero moved over to the other side, which was cool and slightly comforting. Burying his head in the pillow, Heero realized he could still smell the scent of the shampoo Duo used before he went to bed. Head and Shoulders. He choked back a sob as he stared up at the ceiling.
I wouldn't ever try to hurt you
I just needed someone to hold me
to fill the void while you were gone
To fill this space of emptiness
A dull ache settled over Heero's heart as he recollected the day as if it happened before he went to bed. It was a Tuesday night. Starry and clear dark blue. The moon shone silver in the sky and a chill wind breathed its way across the streets. He and Duo went to a party Relena was having, just to be polite as always. Duo was passed out on the couch, head lolling to one side, a bottle of beer forgotten in his hand, dribbling onto her carpet. He had been too drunk to drive. Relena had led him upstairs to her private quarters. There they sat and talked through most of the night, sipping white wine from fluted glasses. He found her less and less grating on his nerves, less annoying. She even seemed attractive. Be it the wine or the atmosphere, but passion burned white hot for her that night. It ran molten through his veins as he swept her up in his arms. . .as she ran her delicate fingertips over the numerous battle scars on the smooth skin of his back and chest . . .as he ran his hands through her soft wheat colored hair. . .as their lovemaking reached a fevered pitch and he shouted her name . . .as he kissed the sweat from her brow and face whispering sweetly into her ear before letting sleep envelop him.
He awakened the next morning, naked and with a headache with the force of a forcefully hurled brick pounding at his temples. He was sticking to the velvet couch with sweat, cheap wine, and day old beer. Then he saw her, sleeping contentedly beside him in the same condition as he was, but he could detect a touch of emotion on that sleeping face. It was outright look of someone who had triumphed over something. . .or someone. Heero was about to shake her roughly awake when he heard the door to the room whisper open.
I'm only human
of flesh and blood, I'm made
Human
Born to make mistakes
(Oh, his eyes)
Duo's eyes settled on the scene before him. Heero, the man he had learned to respect and just recently love as reverently as a god, naked with the girl with who he shared a mutual loathing. His eyes were at first surprised, but quickly glazed over with hurt and Heero could see something far away in the back of the amethyst orbs shatter. It was his heart. It now glittered in rivers of tears that streamed unheeded down his face. Duo whispered three words and closed the door behind him. "Good bye, Heero."
So many nights I longed to hold you
So many times I looked and saw your face
Nothing could change the way I feel
No one else could ever take your place.
He returned to the apartment where they both lived later that day. He jiggled the key in the door, apologies already on his lips. He swung the door open and the feeling of unwelcome settled over him. Boxes were stacked in the living room, and rustle was heard coming from the bedroom he and Duo shared. Oh no, he thought and dashed to the bedroom. Duo was gathering his belongings from the closet and folding them neatly in the wardrobe box that dominated his side of the bed. Duo looked at Heero with all the hurt and pain he could muster. Lines of sorrow were evident on the smooth face aging it prematurely. Wisps and chunks of hair escaped the messy, hastily made braid as he swept through the apartment gathering his possessions. Heero just walked brokenly to the living room, unable to speak for his actions and sat down upon the couch. Quatre came over and hour later to help Duo. He had given him a place to live until Duo could strike out on his own. Quatre hefted the boxes unto his pick truck he had borrowed from Trowa. After all was done, Duo dropped the apartment keys onto the kitchen counter. It was the first sound made that large apartment that whole day. Tears once again ran down Duo's face as he toyed with the keys he had dropped. Quatre gently took his arm and lead him out of the apartment and silently shut the door behind him. A moment later, Heero could hear the hesitant sound of a internal combustion engine starting, and then fade as it moved further away from him. Heero got up from the couch, still numb from the shock of Duo leaving him. He stumbled as if unsure of his own footsteps down the hallway to the bedroom he had shared with the man who taught him how to love. Unknowingly, he bumped into the right wall of the hall. Heero reached up to the wall to steady himself. The plaster was cooling to the touch, and he rested his head against it. Running his hand over the uneven drywall, he felt cuts under his finger tips. Squinting in the dimly lit hallway, he looked closely at the scratches. Then memory came rushing in breaking over him like a wave.
(Oh Heero, I love this place. . .Let me see your pocket knife, I'm going to officially make it ours.
'What are you going to do?' Heero has asked.
Oh, nothing much, just marking it as ours. . .)
D. M.
+
H.Y.
Heero's eyes misted over with stinging tears as he leaned against the wall lovingly stroking the initials so carefully carved into the plaster.
I'm only human
Of flesh and blood, I'm made
Human
Born to make mistakes
Heero sat back in his bed, tears burning like acid down his cheeks. He never liked to relive what happened three long weeks ago, but it seemed a fitting punishment to what he had done. Glancing at the red numbers on the clock beside the bed, he picked up a pack of cigarettes and lit one. As the harsh smoke exited his lungs he looked outside to a day as gray and apathetic as his life. Heero blew a smoke ring, it floated, gray-blue to the ceiling and dissipated as it hit the plaster bumps. He laughed mirthlessly to himself. I might as well go outside and get myself some fresh air today, he thought. Crushing the now yellow butt in the overflowing ashtray, the phone rang jangling and loud. Heero ignored it as he pulled on a moth eaten tee-shirt and headed to the bathroom. Coming out five minutes later with a foaming toothbrush hanging out of his mouth, he padded over to the table that the answering machine stood upon. He pressed the play button:
"Ten. . .Thirty. . .Five. . .A. . .M. . .", stated the automatic voice. Then a pause. "Heero? Are you there? I was just wondering if you would like to have lunch with me today, if aren't doing anything-" The tinny semblance of Relena's voice was slashed short as Heero viciously jabbed the delete/rewind button. A dark line appeared in his brow. That girl will never quit, I wish she would get a clue.
Sitting on his kitchen counter indian-style, Heero nibbled upon a slightly burnt piece of toast and sipped at bitter black coffee. He absent mindedly dusted the crumbs from his black jeans as he leaned against the wall. He placed on black booted foot on the other wall and left the other swinging in the space between the kitchen counter and the sink. As he finished his breakfast, he jumped own from the counter and stared out the window over the sink. The clouds hung gray and low as a distant rumble portended foul weather. Heero walked to the door of his apartment and as almost a second thought, he grabbed a black leather trench coat to cover what his night blue tee-shirt could not.
The streets were nearly devoid of people. The brave souls who were out were rushing about buying supplies before the thunderstorm hit. Heero ran a thin hand through his hair as the wind picked up and blew the lower parts of his coat out behind him. He thrust his hands deeper into the pockets of the coat as he grimly walked on.
Before long, Heero reached the park. Walking in, he sat on the bench. He watched as cautious mothers pulled children from swings and playground equipment to take them home before the rain started. The wind now howled about like a mad thing. The flower petals blew off of the budding trees and swirled about like snow. A drop of rain, heavy and cold landed on Heero's forehead. As he turned his head up, its brethren joined its downward descent to the earth. People rushed to open umbrellas or they ran to their cars trying not to get more soaked then they already were. In the midst of the chaos of finding their loved ones so they could go home and dry, no one noticed the young man on the bench, face up piously as if he worshipped the very clouds that burst the downpour upon his face. It felt like the heavens where washing away the hurt and pain with every tear of rain it shed. Clean, sweet rainwater ran down his face, and into his mouth. It felt so good to him. Sitting up, Heero opened his eyes and looked out. The playground, the park was empty. Except for one person. A figure in all black was watching him from a distance. Standing up, he felt a familiarity with him. As he walked towards the figure, the figure walked at the same easy pace towards him. His features became more apparent to Heero as he closed in . . .a black trench coat like his. . .a pair of black leather gloves covered slender hands that grasped the black umbrella. . . a braid of long chestnut hair . . .eyes of knowing violet twilight. . . Heero's face smiled in greeting, but fell in the midst of doubting feelings. What if he forgot what we had. . .what if he is with some one else. . .what if. . .what if. . But when Duo threw his umbrella aside with sudden abandon and held his arms out open wide, Heero looking in his eyes. The questions all died on his lips as he ran through puddle and mud into Duo's strong awaiting arms. After they embraced for what felt like an eternity, Heero grasped Duo's face between his hands. The long bangs and eyelashes were jeweled with drops of rain. A droplet was trembling precariously of the tip of his nose. Moisture dotted his lips. Heero wanted to keep that image in his mind forever. Falling to his knees and grasping the one who had haunted his dreams like a lifeline Heero wept bitterly.
"Duo, please, please forgive me. I never meant to hurt you . . .I miss you. Your laughter, the way you make me feel, the way you love me. I finally realize how much of me is missing when you are gone, and I hope to all the gods in all the worlds that you will find it in your heart. . ."
Duo still stood tall and proud, just watching Heero. Then finally, at the end of long moments, he gently placed one gloved hand on the top of Heero's rain soaked head, and stroked tenderly. Heero stood back up. He kissed his beloved's cheeks and came away tasting salty drops.
The tears I cry aren't tears of pain
They're only to hide my guilt and shame
I forgive you now I ask the same as you
While we were apart I was human too
Duo shook his head and looked in his eyes expectantly. "Heero-I. . ."
"Shhhhhhhh. . ." I care not what you have done these past three weeks. You have me now, and all is forgiven my love. Let's move on with our lives together."
Duo's eyes widened with astonishment, then devotion. Turning towards home, Heero walked a bit. Then in an afterthought, he offered his right hand out behind him. Duo smiled exquisitely and took it as the rain softly pelted them.