Hi, it´s me, Deadpool. It´s true. I know you can´t see me cause it´s just words being written by a random guy from Denmark. You have to picture me in your mind. Just imagine a handsome wannabe Ryan Reynolds-type in a tight, red suit, that highlights my buttchecks. I just wanted to say that you should check out my new movie, Deadpool 2. I know. It doesn't sound unique, but I didn´t want a fancy fucking long title like those lame pirate movies. Okay I should´t be saying that. I maybe end up as Mickey Mouse´s bitch in the near future. I am back as Deadpool being played by Ryan Reynolds (I am told that he is a hottie!) or is Ryan Reynolds playing me? I am confused. We managed to get Thanos, I mean Josh Brolin to play Cable - a fucking angry dude with a fake CG-metal arm. I will be beating his ass of course and take his arm as a trophy. My sexy lady Vanessa (played by just as sexy Morena Baccarin) is back for moral support and hard love. The so-called lucky Domino (Zazie Beetz) is my annoying sidekick, who thinks luck is a superpower. I guess black cats are her kryptonite. And yeah you will been seeing X-Force. Me and that circus trope of weirdness will be saving a mutant-kid (Julian Dennison) from Cable in glorious Technicolor to paint your big ass-screen with delightful carnage for all ages. Directed by a new tool, David Leitch, who is the action maestro behind John Wick and Atomic Blonde. So buy some popcorn and coke, sorry I mean cola and buy a ticket to see me and my merry freaks in your local cinema. And no I didn´t pay the danish writer for writing this. In your face, viking! See me on the big screen many times so I can break the billion-record of Avengers 3. I am counting on you, nerds! Deadpool out!