5 years after "You don't scare me, sorry"

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"Why don't you want to go to Gotham?" Lois took another sip of her coffee.

"I didn't say I don't want to go." Chloe remarked coolly. Quickly shoving a piece of Danish in her mouth to avoid having to explain any further.

"Really? I guess all my super reporter senses are off then. Or perhaps it was just the part where you told Oliver, and I'm paraphrasing here, find someone else." Lois raised her eyebrows at Chloe as if daring her to say she was wrong. She had no idea what had happened 5 years ago in Gotham, She had been trapped in the future, waiting for Superman to save her. But that was ancient history. All she knew was that when she got back Chloe was not the same. She had chalked it up to Jimmy's death and her pastry but now she wasn't sure anymore. On the surface she was still her bubbly self but there was a darkness underneath, a sadness she hid well but Lois was family. She watched Chloe's carefully guarded expressions over her cup, she didn't need to be a reporter to know it had something to do with Oliver asking her to attend a ball with him in Gotham.

"Just drop it okay?" Chloe knew this wouldn't be the end of it. There was no point in ever hiding anything from her. She was like a bloodhound once she caught a scent. Chloe felt a pang of longing. Lois had the life she had always wanted. Clark had told her all of his secrets and they were happily married, just last month she had been nominated for a Pulitzer. While Chloe had gladly given those things up to become Watchtower there were still times when she really wondered what it would have been like to live the life she had dreamed of all those years ago.

"Okay but you know I can't let this go right?" Chloe just nodded "Good, as long as that's settled." Lois smiled conspiratorially at her younger cousin. "Now let's get down to what I really came here for. Shopping!"

"Okay but just so you know Clark asked me to kindly remind you of your budget." Chloe smiled at Lois.

"Whatever, It's not everyday I get nominated for a Pulitzer." Lois's voice was filled with reverence and Chloe felt her jealously melt away.

"I'm so proud of you Lois. I know Clark is too." Chloe smiled brightly as they made their way up Main Street. They were going to find the perfect dress and Lois was going to shine at the nomination ceremony. Chloe would happily sit behind her knowing she had chosen the right path. Pulitzers were amazing but nothing compared to the rush of saving someone's life.

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Chloe opened the door to her apartment, her feet were killing her. Dropping her bags next to the door she leaned against the wall and pulled her shoes off sighing in relief.

"Want me to rub them for you?" She turned slowly at the sound of his voice feeling the tension already start to leave her shoulders.

"We tried that remember? Didn't stick." They had fallen into bed after a mission and spent six blissful months there and while they obviously cared for each other they had eventually drifted apart. Neither one willing to admit how scary it was to watch someone you care about risk their life everyday. Chloe secretly wondered if she was destined to be alone forever.

"Perhaps I've finally come to my senses and want to make an honest women out of you?" Chloe spun around at his words. A year ago there is nothing that would have made her happier than those words but now?

"Ollie.." She watched him get up from her kitchen table and move towards her. She stood rooted to the floor, unable to move or speak.

"It's possible letting you go was the biggest mistake of my life." Oliver was standing in front of her now. Looking down at her. His hand caressing her cheek as she backed into the door. She felt a bizarre sense of deja vu and remembered the last time an imposing hero had her backed against a door. Bruce. He was always lurking in her mind. The big what if.

"Oliver, Please." Her voice was a soft whisper and it stopped him cold. He let his hand drop from her cheek and sighed.

"I'm sorry sidekick." He turned away from her and moved back towards the table. "Sometimes I wonder if we gave up too easy." He looked up to find her moving towards him smiling softly.

"Ollie, we gave it our all and we both decided we were better as partners than lovers." She stood in front of him waiting for the tension to ease. The truth was she didn't think she had given him everything, she held back. She always did. She was damaged goods. She had gladly fallen into bed with him when they had needed the comfort, but she had never given him her heart. She hadn't given anyone her heart since Jimmy. As time passed she wondered if she had even done that.

"I don't know about that sidekick, we were pretty good." She loved that cocky smile and giggled at him. It might not have worked but that didn't mean she didn't love him. She did. She loved them all. Bart, AC, Victor, and Clark of course. They had become her family. With all the new members she had reserved a special place in her heart for her original boys.

"I'm gonna go wait in the hall. There isn't enough room in here for you, me and your ego." She smiled brightly at him as she teased. She knew it was his defense mechanism. Pretend nothing hurts you because you think the sun rises and sets on yourself. The truth was a different story. Oliver was terrified of not making his parents proud, of letting the League down, of not being hero enough for the world. Chloe thought the truth was that his ego should be that big. He had done so many amazing things.

"I brought you a present." He handed her the file he had placed on the table.

"Now Ollie you know I can't be bribed." Despite her words she was already sitting at her small table and opening the folder. It was the final specs for the new JL building. They had spent the better part of the last year designing it. As she flipped through the pages she was pleased. It was perfect. It would allow them to have a formal space to work on everything from diplomatic strategies to new fighting techniques. Not to mention it would help her monitor all of her Men in Tights as she jokingly referred to them. "This is perfect." She looked up at him and smiled. She wondered what was wrong with her that she hadn't been able to make it work with him. He was everything she should want in a man and so much more. The familiar feeling of self doubt crept in. Would she be alone forever? What was holding her back from being completely happy?

"We will break ground in Metropolis next month." Ollie smiled at her. He tried hard to keep his emotions in check. He was still in love with her. If he thought about it he had probably been in love with her for the better part of the last 5 years. Their time together had been the happiest days of his life but for some reason she had always held a part of herself back from him. Ever the optimist he held out hope that one day she would see him fully and they could pick up where they left off. "Now please tell me why you won't go to Gotham with me for the Mayor's ball?"

She knew he would ask again so she should have been ready with an excuse but she had been so lost in the blueprints she was momentarily caught off guard.

"You know most women would love to spend an evening on the arm of such a debonair bachelor." He smiled warmly at her and waited hoping today would be the day she finally relented.

"I'm so busy with all the new recruits and with Lois getting ready for her speech I just don't have time." It wasn't a very good excuse but it was all she had.

"Come on Chloe I need you there. The newbies can survive for a few days without their mother hen and you know I already talked to Lois; she wants you to get out of town for a few days and have some fun. She's worried your working too hard lately." He didn't want to add that he felt the same way.

Chloe let out a very unlady like snort. As if Lois could judge someone for working too hard. "Fine, but you are buying me something fabulous to wear and we are only staying the one night." Chloe smiled as she watched Oliver grin in triumph. Less than 24 hrs in Gotham wouldn't be too bad. She had to assume Bruce would be there. Why did the thought of seeing him again send chills up her spine?

Chloe walked Oliver to the door after he gave her their travel plans and his credit card advising her she could buy a dozen fabulous dresses if that was what she wanted. As she turned back towards her cozy apartment her thoughts strayed to Bruce again. It wasn't like she didn't talk to him. She did at least once a month when she helped him with some mission or research project. But that was purely league business and although he had come to town a few times she hadn't actually seen him since that last night 5 years ago.

She had woken up in his bed alone after the most amazing night of her life. Her heart broke a little bit to see she was alone in the bed with only the note he had left for company. Printed neatly was his list of conditions for joining the league. The last one on the list had her dressing quickly and heading out the door. She had run back to her hotel packed her things as fast as possible and hopped the next flight home. She hadn't even realized she had been crying until the taxi driver offered her his handkerchief.

The words still echoed in her head.

I will only deal with the Green Arrow directly.

He might as well have left some money on the nightstand. It might have hurt less. Six months later and he had contacted her through Ollie to do some digging for him. By then her pride had taken over and she had called him and spoken to him about the mission and nothing else. Her voice had been as cold and detached as she could make it but when she hung up she had cried herself to sleep. It was easier to deal with him after that. May be it was because she kept everything strictly business. She assumed it was because she had moved on but if that was the case then why was the thought of actually seeing him having such an effect on her?

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Chloe stood in front of the bank of windows watching the new recruits go through their training exercises led by Oliver. He was wearing his Green Arrow leathers but the hood was pulled back. From a purely objective standpoint she admired how lean and limber he was. She watched in awe as he parried attack after attack. He made it look so easy but she knew firsthand how much work it took to be that good. She had been training with him for the better part of the last 4 years. Chloe was content to stay safely behind her computer screens but she had learned that the best laid plans can be interrupted. Her status as a danger magnet hadn't changed and the skills he had taught her had come in handy more times than she cared to count.

She found herself remembering what he had said to her the other day. Why couldn't she give herself to him? He could make her happy. She had been paying closer attention to him the last few days and she realized he was still in love with her. She felt guilty that she didn't feel the same. It added an extra layer of stress to the trip they were about to take. Knowing how he felt made Chloe walk on eggshells. She found herself over thinking every word out of her mouth to be sure he wouldn't misinterpret it. She was pretty sure Oliver knew something was off but she just hoped he would leave it alone for right now. She wasn't up to another heart to heart.

He looked up and saw her standing in the observation room. A familiar frown was on her face. He hated it. Oliver had money to burn and he would gladly give it all away if he never had to see her frown again. Finishing up with the newbies Oliver headed to the locker room to shower and change. He had an hour before they needed to head to the airstrip where his jet was waiting to take them to Gotham. He had decided that he would spend the next 24 hours making sure a certain blond sidekick got her happily ever after.

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