Nothing written here belongs to me. You hear that? Nada, zip, zilch! The lyrics belong to Poets of The Fall and Twilight belongs to SM

NOTHING IS MINE FOR FUCK'S SAKE!

Delicious

Fictitious and so real
Love's a onetime deal
With a delicious dark appeal
And a religious kind of zeal, yeah
So precious, yet surreal
Life's a onetime deal
With a delicious dark appeal
And a religious kind of zeal, yeah

So thank you for choosing me, playing me, displaying me
And selling me to slavery, yeah
Thank you for using me, flaying me, erasing me
Awarding me for bravery

Chapter 1

I was drunk. Well and truly pissed. My vision was blurred and I was horny as hell.

Though I couldn't blame that on the booze.

I could blame it on the motherfuckin' DJ who had been taunting me all night with his fuckin' thrusting and gyrating in his booth while he was playin' the music. That androgynous chick with the freaky outfits was playin' right now, and all the chicks were on the floor, dancing to the music.

Tons of sweaty chicks with almost no clothes were twisting their hips and some were even kissing. That was the shit dudes were attracted to. What I should be attracted to.

But no, I was attracted to the guy playin' the music. I don't even know how it happened. A few weeks ago I was a normal guy with a boring job and an equally boring girlfriend (though she had some awesome tits) and now here I was; drowning my sorrows in cheap whisky and ogling a dude at least ten years my junior. Fuckin' hell, I was well and totally screwed.

Looks like I won't be joining Grams in heaven after all.

I still had the boring job as an accountant, but the girlfriend had left after I couldn't get it up for her one too many times. She was right; the only time I got hard with her was when I was thinkin' about the DJ. I didn't even know his name for fuck's sake!

I was brought back to reality when the bartender gently pried away the glass from my clenched hands.

"I think you've had enough, bro", the older man said. He looked like he was in his early forties - quite old to my 27 years - but I had been here enough nights to see that he left with a different girl each night. "So, I've seen you here enough nights to notice that you're not just coming here for the booze." he said. He rested his elbows on the bar and rested his head on his upturned palms. "I hope you're not coming here to look at me, cause I don't swing that way, bro." he smiled and huge dimples formed on his cheeks and his eyes were sparkling with humor. I could se why the women were so attracted to him: he was very muscled and his curly hair and dimples made him look like a big child. A cute one though. Where did that come from?

"Me neither," I said. My voice was raspy from all the booze. "At least I don't think I do. "

Emmett's eyebrows rose on his forehead and I heard him mutter something like "Edward again"

"Well, as long as it ain't my ass you'll be checking out tonight, I'm okay with it." Emmet said and winked at me. "My name's Emmett by the way. Emmett McCarty."

"Jasper Whitlock" I replied. We continued talking while Emmett was serving people 'round the bar. It was quite amusing to watch him do his tricks and charm the ladies. They were like butter in his hands. He had such confidence that made the ladies seek him out like bees to honey. I still hadn't told him who I was watching that night, and he didn't ask. I felt comfortable with Emmet, and it felt almost like talking to the older brother or male relative I never had.

As the night wore on and we continued talking I realized that I hadn't looked at my DJ for a whole hour, and it felt wrong in some way, almost like I was cheating. I ignored the feeling and tried to focus on the conversation.

I wasn't really a friendly person. Most people thought me cold or arrogant, but I was simply too insecure to really befriend someone. I always kept relationships strictly professional or casual. It just hurt too much to loose someone.

Even though it felt like I was cheating on my DJ, it was actually quite nice not to think about him for a while. He had been a constant obsession of mine since the first time I saw him two months ago.

I was out with some friends at a bachelor party, just tagging along really. I didn't know the groom all that good, but apparently a friend of mine had a cousin who was buddies with someone who knew the groom. Yeah, I had no idea either why I was invited but I wasn't gonna pass up a night of free booze and getting out of my stifling apartment. Being a low level accountant, I didn't have a large enough salary to live in something better than a studio.

Plus, there might be strippers involved.

I was quite surprised when the cab pulled up to a high end nightclub and not a seedy strip bar. The groom had to have more money than I expected him to. I paid the cab – my car had broken down, again - and walked towards the building. All of a sudden someone crashed into me; all I could see of him was his rust colored hair and his large computer bag.

"Hey, watch where you're going, this is expensive equipment!" he shouted at me. He picked himself up from the ground; he had managed to save his bag from being crushed.

"It wasn't my fault." I tried to sound calm as I lay there on the concrete; there was no point in starting a fight. "It was you who was running."

The boy brushed the dust from his pants and turned towards me. "I'm sorry man, I'm just really late for work" I looked up into his chartreuse eyes and sucked in a breath. He was absolutely gorgeous. He couldn't be more than 18, and his features were chiseled like a statue. With his large green eyes and almost feminine full lips, he was the epitome of beauty. I had never looked at a man like this before, but I felt the recognizable stirring in my loins when he licked his those sinful lips of his.

He reached out a pale hand to help me up, and when I stood straight again he leaned in close to me and whispered into my ear "Maybe I can make it up to you sometime," his voice was positively oozing sex and I moaned. He chuckled slightly and drew my earlobe into his mouth.

He let go of my hand and stepped away from me. I felt cold where his legs had chest had touched mine. "See you around" he said and started to run again. He ran into the alley behind the club, but when I followed he had disappeared. I looked around me, but there was only brick wall on each side of me.

"Fuck!" I screamed and beat my fist into the wall. After that my hand hurt so bad I couldn't help but cuss (again) at nothing. "Ouch, motherfucker, that hurt," I groaned.

When I joined the others in the club after a while, they didn't even ask where I'd been. I wasn't so sure whether I was relived or disappointed that they didn't care enough to ask.

I sat down at the bar and ordered some southern' comfort when I heard his voice in the speakers.

"This is for my mystery person that knocked into me tonight." and the song laced with the most sexual innuendo ever began to play. I looked up at the DJ booth and saw him. After which I promptly hid my face in my drink.

A/N: I hoped you liked it! This is just a work in progress as of now, and I don't know how long it's going to take before it's finished. I am writing chapter 2 as we speak, but I need some feedback! Was it good? Was it bad? Did you think I was a complete loony for making Jasper an accountant and Edward a DJ?

Please, tell me before I go insaaaaaaane!

(Or maybe I'm just assuming that someone would actually want to read my story and I'm just writing to no one…)

P.S. Don't worry, I'm not a review whore that will keep chapter's hostage until I get a certain number of reviews.