Hey Guys! Alrighty so this beignnign before the story authors note is probably a little longer than most of them, but if you don't like reading this part skip on down to the story
Alright so I have been getting a lot of positive feedback for my stories. So basically its encouraging me to keep writing these stories cause you guys seem to like them.
So special thanks to:
Squishy Pencil
Thamimosuilean
TheOutsidersBestBookEver
Damonadark-hunterfan69
Ladybugs
Supernatural20 (guest)- who also figured out I got the name from a TDG song
Angel of Love
Black-Rose23: By the way Black-Rose23 thank you for teaching me a new word. I had no clue what emulates meant.
And any others whom I may have missed
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
XxxX
My demons had begun to catch up to me. All the lies that slipped out of my mouth. The words that harmed people, or caused people to throw me dirty looks. All the faces of the kids that I had jumped. All the time I had spent in the cooler. All the packs of cigerattes that I had smoked, the alcohol that I had drank. All things that I should have been ashamed of. And 3 years ago I would have been. But now, I truthfully don't care. I can remember it all, I know they are the demons that are trying to drag me to hell. But I have known that's where I am going since I was 14, just after Johnny and Dally died. I knew. And I couldn't bring myself to try and change my obvious fate. And I didn't care.
I looked around the small room that was the living room of my brothers' home. The entire gang's focus was turned towards the T.V. which had Mickey on it of course. I wasn't sure if they were actually watching or not. It's hard to tell on nights like these. Nights where we all remember the two members we lost.
In the three years that have passed since that disasterous week, the only person that has really changed was me. My looks, my personality, just me in general. Completely changed. Everyone has noticed, and for a while, when the guys thought I was passed out on the couch or just to drunk to focus, they discussed it. And I will admit that at times I was probably asleep, or drunker than shlit.
But most of the time, I understood everything they said. Like how Soda was so sad he had basically lost his little brother to Dally. Stating that when Dally died, it seemed like I had tried to, and succeeded at filling his place in the world. But I had instead left a void in which no one could fill. He spoke about how he hated the way my eyes were now a ice cold blue, that carried a cold hatred for the world. And he wasn't wrong there.
Darry mainly talked about how disappointed he was that I took the same path Dally had. How he was so upset that I had stopped trying to go somewhere. Stopped trying to make something of myself. He talked about how I used to seem determined to leave, to be someone, and not just some greaser. Now it seemed like I was determined to tear down anything that was and could be good in my life. He even said he missed it when I didn't use my head.
Two-Bit said he hated that I no longer watched sunsets, the things that seemed to keep me grounded, and in touch with myself. He said how he hated that I had gained a take no shit attitude. And lost my innocence.
But what had surprised me the most was what Steve had said. He said that he missed the little tag along kid that he never could stand. But now that was what he wanted. He said he didn't want this villain. This kid who had the I can take you attitude, the kid who meant it when he said it. The kid who really could take anyone. He hated how I was a villain.
I thought about the word after he said it. And that was when it truly hit me. The truth of the words. I was a villain. But not in the way Steve had meant it. I was a villain in a way that was hard to explain. I was a villain because I didn't care. Because I enjoy the fact that these demons were trying to haunt me. I loved it. I realized that the type of villain I was is what Dally had been. A true greaser, or maybe I was a hood. I was a menace to society, and I loved every minute of it.
But every year on the same day, I couldn't handle it. I couldn't handle the fact that I had lost two of the people I had loved, when love was something I felt regularly. But anymore I just feel this cold stone wall around my heart. No love, no warmth, no nothing. Just cold.
And this year it seemed harder. I can barely handle it. Hell I don't think I did. I just remember jumping a kid and running away. Like normal. But this time the sirens had come quicker. Almost as if they were expecting me to hurt the kid. But why the hell wouldn't they try to step in and stop me. I pulled my bluff out of my waist ban. It wasn't loaded, but it was still a heater. Still something that would get me killed in the end. Which seemed to be now. The end.
I heard a crack, felt a sharp pain in my shoulder, another crack, a pain in my chest. And then I hit the ground.
I died a villain. Just like I knew I would.
XxxX
Meh, it was okay . I like World So Cold better, or maybe Fake It.
Reviews are greatly appreciated.