Hi, My name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way (but I really wish I was called Tara Way because I want Gerard Way to be my brother because I so want to do him.) If you don't already know who I am then you can fuck off. I am the biggest goth ever but more importantly I am the most famous Mary Sue to ever be created by Satan. And I'm lovin' it! Those stupid preps at fan-fixcion deleted my story but then...xxx666xxx... SATAN BROUGHT ME BACK TO LIFE!11

Just kidding, some cool gothic fags put up my story on fan-sites (O-M-S I totz have a fan-base now! Fuxk you flamers!11) and they even made a page for me on encyclopedia dramatica – email me a photo of you being gothic or of some hot bi guys doin' it and I'll give you the link! (or just go look it up for yourself, you stupid preps.)

Now, I am like totz liven the fancy high life. My bloody gothic sister Raven (er I mean, Willow.) and I were smoking pot and weed in our basement – we liked the basement because it didn't have any windows which was good for us because we goths don't like da sun. OMG the sun is like such a prep, y'know how it wakes us up in the morning and like feeds all the plants of the world and sustains masses of complex lifeforms. What a bitch! Also, preps are allergic to the dark.

Anyway, we was in Longdom and we was now in COLLEGE!11 I know right? lol. Raven was studying math (despite the fact she epically failed it in Hogwartz and got expelled – but if you didn't know that already then it means you're a prep or a poser and you didn't read my original story so fuck off!11) Because we are vampires – I turned Raven into 1 – we didn't need much to survive.

Hanging on our wall behind us was the body of that pedo Snap and Loopin. After we killed Volxemort, Serious and Lucian got them and brought them back to us for us to torture some more – we love it because we are Satanists. Also, we like to suck their blood. But even though we liked to torture them, I was beginning to get bored with them. Their blood was starting to taste bad and their rotting bodies were like a pentagram (geddit?) between dog shit and Paris Hilton's bedsheets.

Today me and Willow (or was it Raven? Whatever, imma just call her Willow, lol) were sitting in our underwear on some gothic black pillows with blood red pentagrams all over them and it was black. Willow's hair was black like mine, but she had pink streaks in hers. My hair was ebony black (like the black raven's wing in the black darkness) and was put out all around my face with purple streaks in them and red tips – hahaha because my hair is better than yours Raven you fookin' bich! I was wearing a black leather thong that said "Oh My Satan I luv Draco Malfoy and Gerard Way like 4eva wood you both marry me and screw me at the wedding altar PLZZ!11" in blood red gothic stitching – custom made. And I was wearing a black leather bra too. Willow was just naked.

Just then! All of a suddenly!...

Draco!... Ran! …...IN! …...TO! …...DA …... Room!

I was so high from the coke that I didn't have time to describe his sexy gothic red eyes that he was now wearing coloured contacts on, that revealed so much emo-tasticness and depressing sorrow (that was manufactured by MnMs.) I guess he was sad because R-Patz had got the role to play OMS that totally HAWWWWWT Edword Cruxllen in the Twilight movie!111

"What's wrong you fucker?" I asked him politely.

"OMG Tara are you like back now?" He zoomed in extra close and looked into my pale blue eyes like the limpid tears of those fucker preps like Brittany and Bradley – I hate that fucking bitch. He was anal-lyzing my face really good with a magnet-frying glass. I slapped him across his sexah pale face. He looked stunned for a moment then gave me a sexy smile.

"Yeah, she's back." He said and then... WE KISSED PASSIVELY!111. Willow looked all jealous and was slitting her wrists in the corner because we looked so smexi together! Normaley we wood jump on each other and start screwing, butt I'd been finkin' (which is real hrad work btw) that maybe Draco and I were not really in love anymore. I don't even think Draco loves me, Ebony. I think he loves Tara even more – that bitch that created me. So I wanted to make him wait to see if he was in love with me or her – genius!

Anyway, he pushed me away and shouted "WTF Tara where have you been?1" he asked.

"Ma name iz Ebony, you bastard!" I said back frustratedly. Then he looked sad like a puppy.

"Im sorry honey.. But seriously, there is something really fucked up going on!" He said.

"Like what?" Willow asked, but just then I used my magic Mary Sue powers to shove her back into the void. Ah... The benefits off being the most powerful Mary Sue to ever exist – they are endless.

"Like what?" I said again, curiously.

"Well, there is this new Mary Sue being made... And the rumours say that she will be the most powerful Sue created yet!" He ejaxclimated. He pulled out the blue prints from his you-know-what and lay them on the table. And... I gasped!

To be continued...

A/N: just a note... I am merely a fan of My Immortal for it's extensive collection of lulz, hence the creation of this fanfic. I hope you enjoy it! R&R would be appreciate! Or... fangz! ;D