Kululu sat in his lab, typing away on one of the many keyboards of his massive computer set-up. His spiral glasses reflected the light of dozens of screens that illuminated the darkness of the lair he had established far below the Hinata household. The cynical science officer of the Keroro Platoon should have been inventing some new weapon or device to aide in their 'brilliant' leader's world domination plans, but he had more important things to do.
The term 'important', of course, meaning 'what's important to Kululu', which at this moment was counter-hacking his rival Tororo, (who had broken his firewalls and spammed his computers with troll faces,) while watching footage of Aki Hinata, the mother of the kind Fuyuki and the tempermental Natsume Hinata, showering. Being the perverted genius he was, he could multitask these two objectives easily, typing up the codes for a virus with his eyes glued to the other screen.
Spying on people in the shower had been a favourite pasttime of Kululu's since the day he'd set up base beneath the Hinata's household and he admitted, without the slightest trace of shame, that he loved well-devolped women, like Aki. Of course, her ditsy personality and hidden, violent power were also quite appealing to the yellow frog. Lately, however, he felt less enthusiastic when watching Aki in the shower, a strange sensation building whenever he did. If Kululu had to describe it, the only thing he could compare it to was like if he had eaten a poor batch of curry that he himself had made. It wasn't just that watching Aki shower now felt wrong - he almost felt bad for doing it.
Kululu dismissed the thoughts, finally breaking eye contact with the perverted footage to send his finished virus to Tororo's computer. The twerp thought he could hack Kululu's network and get away with it, huh? He was in for a huge surprise. Kululu allowed himself to lounge back and listen to Tororo's panicked screams rattle in over the microphone Kululu bugged in Tororo's lab, basking in his triumph.
'The only thing that could make this moment any better,' Kululu thought to himself, 'is some curry'. The thought made him chuckle some, little 'ku's filling the atmosphere of his lab over the screams of Tororo. His chuckles grew into fullblown laughter, wicked and vile, resonating from every crevice of his darkened lab and reducing Tororo's once blaring screams into a soft background noise.
"Like, what's so funny Sergeant Major-san?" a voice as pure as the freshly-fallen snow called out, cutting through Kululu's laughter without raising her voice. Kululu snapped back around, startled. There wasn't much in the universe that could unnerve the yellow Keronian, but the young blonde girl in a school uniform standing before him was top of that short list.
"Mois!" Kululu managed to get out before coughing and regaining his composure, "How long have you been standing there?" Angol Mois, royalty of the Angolian people and the one tasked with the destruction of Earth, (a task she never got around to completing,) smiled her flawless, sparkling smile that set Kululu trembling.
"I've been here since you've been working on your virus, Kululu-san." she stated honestly, "I waited for you to, like, finish and what not. You could say, patience is a virtue?"
Kululu blinked behind his thick glasses. It was unsurprising that Mois would be so kind and wait for anyone to finish what they were doing. She was just that kind, just that pure. It terrified Kululu to think that there could be someone, anyone, in the entire cosmos that could remain so loyal to her friends, stay so honest, and be so nice to everyone she ever met, even him. Especially him; he was a pervert, a sadist, and evil and twisted by most everyone's perceptions.
He tore his eyes away from her amber ones that seemed to lock him in and noticed she was carrying a plate.
"What's that?" the scientist asked.
"Oh, like I almost forgot about it! You could say, getting forgetful?" Mois smiled again before answering, "I know how much you like curry, so I cooked some up for you."
"That's thoughtful." Kululu said nonchalantly, gesturing for Mois to approach him with the plate. He thanked her and took the plate from her hands, digging into the meal while Mois stood watching his computer screens.
"I can see you're watching Okaasama showering, again." Mois noted.
Kululu shrugged. Not being field operatives, Kululu and Angol Mois worked together behind the lines, filling the multitude of duties that it required: logistics, technical support, communications, technological development, administration, finance, etc. Needless to say, they spent a lot of time together deep underground. She had seen a number of his perverted entertainments or twisted experiments and didn't judge him or talk about such hobbies behind his back. He supposed he should be grateful for such integrity, but it further unnerved him.
"And I can see you're not attached to Keroro's hip." Kululu snipped, "Tamama run you off again?"
"Like, yeah!" Mois whined, "I haven't gotten to spend time with Uncle in weeks!"
"Maybe it's because he has you doing all his chores for him." Kululu stated sarcastically.
"Well then he should, like, have more free time to spend with me, right?" Mois asked.
Kululu ignored the question, hoping that it had been rhetorical and that Mois wasn't really that simple. He couldn't understand why she was so ditsy when she came from such a powerful and intelligent people. They were kind, true, but with Mois it felt like there was something... wrong. As if there was a piece missing, or a block in her mind that kept all of her from coming out. Sometimes Kululu would hear dark mutterings from her, or wake to see her watching him sleep for hours. Kululu had even heard her retort one of his sarcastic statements with an equally edgy quip that startled him. They were rare moments, but happened increasingly lately. He wondered, briefly, if her collision onto the roof of the Hinata household had mangled her thought processes, but couldn't get very far into the line of thinking as he felt a pair of eyes boring into the back of his skull after he finished his curry.
He turned his head and immediately flinched back at how close Mois had gotten to him, almost trance-like in her stare. She snapped back into reality at the sudden movement and her eyes lit up again.
"Mois, why do you always get so close to me?" he asked, his heartrate slowly returning to normal.
"Okaasama finished her shower and there was, like, nothing else to watch but you finishing your curry." Mois explained, smiling, "And I like being close to you since we're such good friends and all. You could say, BFFs?"
The word 'friend' sent Kululu's mind reeling. The implications. The commitment. The actual, solid fact that someone didn't hate him, but in fact, liked him. It made him blush and scoot further away from his tormentor. Before he could question her sanity or request her to move further away, Mois started talking again.
"I was reading an article the other day about couples and how, like, the girl's IQ will change to match the boy's IQ." she stated randomly, "So, if a smart girl spent a lot of time with a dumb boy, her IQ would drop. You don't think that's true, do you?"
"It doesn't sound any different than when friends adapt to the tastes and intellect of each other. Hang out with smart people, you'll get smart." Kululu snickered, "Simple as that."
"Oh, well that's a relief." Mois smiled, "Then I don't have to worry about getting dumber hanging around Uncle because I hang out with you a lot and you're, like, the smartest guy I know!"
"So you admit Keroro's a duff?" Kululu started laughing at the thought that Mois' perception of her 'uncle' could actually be negatively affected.
"Well..." she rubbed the back of her head nervously, "His ideas are pretty silly and he hasn't conquered Pekopon in the 20+ volumes we've been here. I still love him, though." Somehow this conversation gave Kululu a twinge of envy that undercut the ego-boost he got from Mois' compliments to his intelligence. Feeling that envy was an overrated emotion, Kululu turned his attention back to his computer moniters and pretending to work.
"If you love him so much, why don't you just tell him already?" Kululu asked, humourlessly.
"I couldn't do that!" Mois gasped, "It'd be, like, too sudden! I just need to, like, keep dropping hints and earn his love by demonstrating my loyalty to Uncle. You could say, hopelessly in love?" Kululu didn't know whether he should explore the ironic truth of her statement or not, for her infatuation with Keroro was certainly hopeless.
"You've been trying this for how long now?" the Keronian asked, "Just confess and if the feelings are unrequited by now, then just quit trying with him." Kululu chuckled at his own advice.
"Do you really think I should?" Mois asked timidly.
"I honestly don't care what you do, kukuku," Kululu shrugged, "I just hate hearing you gush on about Keroro."
"Like, thanks Sgt. Major-san!" Mois flashed another innocent smile. Had anyone else heard Kululu's response, they'd be offended, but Mois was one of the few people who could read Kululu's speech; an insult like that was actually fairly close to a compliment in Kululu's book.
Mois ran out before Kululu could say anything, leaving him alone in the darkness. He continued to stare at the doorway for awhile after she left, contemplating whether his advice would work or not. Knowing Keroro, he'd either be too dense to understand what Mois was confessing and Mois would continue trying to win her 'uncle' over forever. And Kululu would have to hear about it forever, a strange sense of envy and anger fueling his typing while she talked about slaving away, happily, for her beloved uncle. Yet the alternatives made him feel worse. If Keroro understood the confession, he'd likely turn it down bluntly, hurting Mois deeply. After all, Mois had loved Keroro for how long? Thousands of years by now. Kululu might like to see others in pain, but even he wouldn't wish that kind of heartache on Mois.
The final alternative, however, was by far the worst for Kululu: the off-chance that Keroro loved Mois the same way she loved him. It would be an endless love fest between them and a constant, scarring reminder at how lonely Kululu was. Not that he minded being lonely, but sometimes it made him angry or just plain hurt him when others showed off their loving, successful relationships. And if Keroro returned Mois' feelings, he would be just as open and annoying about it as she would. The relationship would also influence their work, no doubt. Kululu actually dreaded the thought of Keroro's usually hair-brained schemes and get-rich-quick schemes being centered around love.
He couldn't admit to himself the deepest reason why he didn't want Keroro to love Mois back. If Keroro and Mois became romantically involved, she'd move up in rank and be by Keroro's side constantly. That meant that Kululu would be all alone underneath the base. He almost laughed at the thought of how much that scared him; not much, if anything, scared Kululu, but being alone after having such a constant companion... It would be like a giant hole was always present in his life.
Kululu shoved these thoughts to the back of his head and continued typing, actually focusing on his work to ignore the mess he had potentially started.
Angol Mois had to force herself from skipping to Keroro's room, joy absolutely radiating from her. She knew that Kululu would have the best solution; he always knew how to solve problems. The thought of Kululu's advice had caused some trepidation, of course. What if Keroro didn't love her? What if she made a fool of herself? Still, Kululu was right. She'd been trying to earn Keroro's favour for long enough; it was time for her to get a definitive answer.
She reached Keroro's door and stopped abruptly, worried again. What if Keroro did reject her? What would she do then? After all, everything she had done with the Keroro Platoon was for its leader. If he rejected her, what was there to do? Keep working? Forever? The thought made her cringe. She didn't mind work, but only if there was cause behind in. What cause was there if she could no longer earn the favour of Keroro? Why would she even bother working then? She couldn't bring herself to destroy the planet while her friends still loved on it, even if Keroro rejected her, but she wouldn't leave Earth for very long without finishing her work there.
'Maybe I should, like, have a back-up plan first...' Mois thought while staring at Keroro's door, 'Why would I bother working for the Keroro Platoon if not for Uncle?'
As she pondered this, she thought of all her friends. She was willing to defend each of them, but to work for them? Her work was usually so thankless and monotonous that the only thing that made it worthwhile was the fact the object of her affection requested it of her and the occassional praise its completion brought. Why would she keep doing such tedious paper-pushing with no reward, no goal in sight? What could she benefit from it? The only fun part about her job was hanging out with Kululu, whose presence always promised some intelligent conversation or entertaining science experiments that involved pain, death, destruction or some other format Mois found interesting.
'Kululu...' the name bounced around her head for awhile. He was a constant friend, an opposite that completed her. 'Like, Yin and Yang.' Something registered in her head about opposites attracting and she felt a wave of confusing, jumbled emotions flowing through her. She immediately pushed her thoughts away, gasping and taking a step back from Keroro's door as if it had burnt her.
What she had just thought felt like a sin for some reason. It had been a harmless imagining of her and Kululu being more than friends. It was a nice thought, very similar to her Keroro thoughts, except that most of what had happened in her Keroro fantasies had already happened or was currently happening with Kululu; they lived together, worked together, talked all the time, even trusted each other with personal secrets. The only thing that hadn't happened was the actual romance; the flirting, the kissing, the marriage, etc. It felt wrong to suddenly put Kululu in Keroro's place, but it made too much sense to ignore. Mois felt deeply conflicted and ran from Keroro's room to a nearby bathroom.
Safe within the locked confines of the room, resting on a toilet, Mois began to analyze her thoughts. She was in love with Keroro, right? Her uncle whom she had believed for the longest time to have won her over with brilliant romantic gestures as a child. Of course, the more she thought about it, the more she remembered that wasn't right. Keroro had even admitted that none of that happened the way she explained. She tried harder to remember exactly what happened, but she could only see brief flashes of memories before searing whiteness threatened to overtake her. After three failed attempts to reach into her memory, Mois finally gave up. Even she, usually so ditsy, realised that something was wrong.
'It's like my brain doesn't want me to remember certain things before my arrival to Pekopon.' Mois thought, frowning at the thought, 'You could say, I need a shrink?'
Mois stood and exited the bathroom, emotionally exhausted by the ordeal. She needed to solve this dilemna, this inner-turmoil before she could confess her love to Keroro. After all, if one starts questioning whether they really love a person or not, it's not wise to confess love to them. Her memories were false or incomplete or a combination of both and she needed to figure out why. Only a handfull of people on the planet were capable of handling such a case. She only trusted one of them.