Boredom

The blinds on Lisbon's windows were shuttered. The CBI office was obviously functional, but so very quiet. In Lisbon's shuttered office, the occasion ting of a playing card against the side of a trash can could be heard. Her game of pitch was not going well. So far, she was only hitting about 50%.

Jane was stretch out on his couch, looking more bored than usual, if possible. For some reason, Elvis was just not amusing him, today. Periodically, a soft groan would escape from him, but not loud enough for anyone to comment on. THAT would have helped to break the boredom. Cho was folding a dollar bill crane and even his impassive face seemed bored. Van Pelt and Rigsby, staring into each others eyes, were the only two who did not seem affected by the total inactivity and boredom. They looked happy, judging from the sappy looks on their faces.

There was a crash from Lisbon's office. It sounded like a trash can being kicked over. Her door flew open and she point to Jane, "I'm going to shoot you, Jane. I'm going to perforate your damn psychic, self-satisfied hide!"

He jerked upright is obvious alarm. "Me? I didn't do it. Honest. I mean, I'm sorry." He paused. "What he hell ARE you talking about?"

Lisbon glared at him. "I'm bored. I'm bored. Do you hear me? I am freaking bored." Jane's eyes widened as he contemplated his bosses obvious insanity. "And I think shooting you would be fun. If I'm having fun, I'm not bored, right?"

"Lisbon, Teresa, It's OK." His mind raced trying to figure what was really going on. He did notice, with some relief, that she was not armed. "Just sit down. Take a few deep breaths and let's talk about this." His voice had the professional, calm persuasiveness of a old time snake oil salesman.

Lisbon looked around the office. All eyes were on her, now. She glared at them. "Is anyone bored, now?"

They looked at each other in confusion. "No boss," the all said in unison. Cho raised his hand. Teresa glared in his direction. "I want to see if you can hit him. He's sneaky," Cho said.

Teresa returned her gaze to Jane. "Cho want's me to try." That's when Jane noticed the slight quiver of her mouth suppressing a smile. "Are you really so sneaky that I couldn't hit you?"

By then. Teresa lost it and grinned. "You probably are, but this is the most fun I've had all week!"

Jane's face was a study in emotions. For once, he was not portraying what he was not. There as relief, irritation, frustration, then humor. He grinned. "I'd have enjoyed it a lot more IF it had been Cho, the little traitor, that you were considering shooting, but you did all right. I was actually wondering what you'd found out, there for a second."

Lisbon gaze intensified in his direction. "There's something to find out?"

Jane got that 'oops' look on his face, then he grinned. "My dear Lisbon, there is always something to find out. You know how complicated life it."

Lisbon appeared less than convinced, but then Cho spoke up. "Did you just call me a traitor?"

Jane briefly raised his eyes heavenward, as if to say: "Why me?" then replied. "You were suggesting that my body be perforated. Does the shoe fit?"

"It is a slow day," Cho responded deadpan.

Grace added to the conversation. "OK, Mr. Psychic, when is the phone going to ring with a nice juicy case for us?"

Jane stared at her. "In," he hesitated, "exactly nine seconds."

"That phone rings in nine seconds we all owe you lunch," Grace said.

"Yea," Rigsby seconded.

Jane said nothing, he just continued raising fingers, one a second, as he'd been doing since the made the claim. When his ninth finger went up, the phone in Lisbon's office did ring. Lisbon ran get it, Grace grabbed the cross at her neck, Rigsby and Cho just stared at each other. Jane pasted the biggest grin on his face to date.

The phone conversation was short and to the point, mostly Lisbon saying yes, sir and no sir, then right away, sir. She came out of her office, shrugging into a shoulder holster. "Let's go," she said. "We have a major nasty. It's on the Bloods' turf, so this could get interesting. We're called in because of the Bloods angle."

"Can I drive?" Jane was almost dancing with excitement.

"No! Jane. Rigsby is driving. You think the SUV is a sports car." Lisbon responded. Jane's face fell. "Get over it, Jane. You are a big boy!"

* * * * * * *

The outlying farm house seemed an unlikely place to be bloods turf or a brutal murder, but too many times, unlikely is the rule of the day. There were flashing state patrol cars all over the place, and yellow crime scene tape was strung around, making a maze of the area.

"I hope you haven't eaten, today," a state trooper major was saying to Lisbon. "It's really bad in there. Think train wreck." She was close enough to smell the odor of violent death, though this was worse than usual. Lisbon looked inside, and then quickly withdrew her head. She closed her eyes and shook her head.

"Heads up, team. This is not nice," she said. They all entered, not wanting to see what was there, but having to not only look, but examine to do their jobs.

The smell was battlefield foul. Viscera were scattered around, inside, as were limbs and heads. The dismemberment could not have been more complete if a chain saw had been used, but by appearance of the limbs, it looked as if they'd be ripped off, rather than cut off, though certain deep gashes could either be knife, fang or claw wounds. That would have to wait for the coroner's report.

They were all looking pale and shaken, but Jane was not allowing anything to go unnoticed. He finally straightened and called for attention. "Do you guy notice anything really weird, here?"

"Everything," Grace said quietly.

"Yes." Cho said. "No blood."

oOOOo