Friendship Forever, Or Are We Lovers?
The Dilemma Within
Another EC/WA Fanfiction By enervate
A/N : Just writing this out of the sheer heck,... because it has been a long time since I wrote a 1st POV story.
Written from Kubota's POV. Reviews, onegai. Well, honestly, I find EC/WA more captivating that Minekura-sensei's other work, Saiyuki. Don't ask me why. Maybe because of Tokitoh that reminded me of my own self. smiles sadly Ah, where am I? Oh yeah,... reviews, thanks and love you. And one thing, as I only own the EC OVA, I don't know how Kubota and Tokitoh meet, so I'll just figure something here.
Genre : PG13, Angst
Disclaimer : Minekura Mazuya owns EC and WA and Kubota and Tokitoh and ...[the list goes on].
Friendship Forever, Or Are We Lovers?
Sometimes all I had to do is wonder, whether am I just another person here, having all those delusive thoughts on their own best friend.
Don't count that statement wrongly. Don't give me that sideway look, don't say anything before you hear my reasons.
I just love to play along sometimes, acting as though I never knew anything, acting as though as nothing ever happened between us. Sometimes those games were just so suggestive that almost all of our friends had second opinion about our relationship.
Our relationship. Tokitoh and I.
The scene was familiar in Araiso Private High. There, pressing Tokitoh against the wall, I held him with that enigmatic look of mine, a deep stare, yes, a sensuous stare enough to make others wonder what was next, then gently I lowered myself, close enough to him,...
And came the last aspect of the game : let the cat out of the bag.
So it was just another game. Yes, we had many beautiful endings to that simple and engaging game. Sometimes it was a mere teaser for him to get his ice cream from me, or it was another trick to get that History notebook from him, or maybe to get that stray lock of hair from his face, or maybe....
So many 'maybe's. Well, don't blame me, we play along perfectly. We play along together like we knew the script so well. Honestly, I did not know when did we start all those games...
It was fun, all right. I have to admit, nothing give me more fun than the sheer dumbfound or surprised look on our fellow friends. Everyone goes around saying that both Tokitoh and I had something going on. What? Hmm,... I don't find anything on,...
Everyone, either discreetly or directly, will glance around whenever we played that same drama. They will look on with curious stares, anticipating all our next moves. Everyone thought that we will engage in some personal affairs.
Sorry, we are not lovers. We are friends.
So, the game goes on, baffling all and everyone.
Since when did this game start? Since when did the dice roll? Since the start of our friendship?
I did not know what that make us got together, and stayed on forever. All I remembered is that I was surprised when I found out that a new kid will be entering our school...
* * *
He was obnoxious, no doubt. Loud-mouthed too. Average height, or I daresay shorter than me, but he couldn't be considered as short because I am tall myself. It was another bright day in Araiso Private High, an all-boys school with the reputation to be a messy and quarrel-filled high school. Nonetheless, everything was kept in precise order though, by the all-powerful and influential Matsumoto Kaichou. Only a second-grader then, he took things into his own hands, and organized Araiso Private High in such systematic ordeal that no one actually complained. He, soon, became the head of the Student Council.
As for me, I am one of the most influential students in the school, although no where as powerful as Matsumoto himself. Don't get me wrong. I don't want to compete with him. He was once-upon-a-time my friend, possibly what you could call best friend too.
But that was the past. Since helping him in that one debt,...
... we are forever only friends,... and on that basis, no more best friend.
Ah, back to the story.
The newcomer must have been from another school. I heard that he is supposed to be much troublesome, much problematic and all. Hmm. I don't find him dangerous. I found him interesting.
It was in a corridor when our eyes first met. He was looking around, his right hand, gloved, clutching a piece of paper with some notes scribbled on it. He was looking about.
Me? I was patrolling, seriously, I am doing my duty as a member on the EC. Hmm, did I tell you that Matsumoto set up the EC to control the school discipline? Unnecessary, you think? No, honestly, the EC is quite important to keep jerks like Ootsuka at bay, or else he'll be around the school collecting 'protection fees' the whole day.
Anyway, when I looked down and when he looked up, our eyes locked in a stare. He don't look any familiar to me.
I raised one cynical eyebrow. He gritted his teeth and clenched his fists. I guess he wanted to pick a fight with me, when suddenly I noticed what was inscribed upon that white paper he was holding.
'2nd Year, Group Six.'
I pointed to the words. "Looking for that?"
"None of your business." he snapped, glaring at me. I smiled. How rude! Often I would give people like this a certain punishment, but somehow this new kid is a little... interesting person. Intending to play on, I pointed to a door at the end of the corridor and said "There. That class."
With those words I walked away. It wasn't more than three steps when suddenly I heard him calling for me.
"Thanks."
"Oh?" I raised one eyebrow. Realizing that he said thank you, I smiled and nodded.
2nd Year, Group Six?
Believe it or not, that is MY class.
* * *
As usual, the new kid will be subjected to bullies. That one I talked to during the morning was no exception. And as predicted, the bully of the 2nd Year students, Ootsuka and his little merry men, came on walking along in the corridor. I happened to be entering the EC's room when suddenly Ootsuka's voice rang out loud and clear.
"Ooi, new kid, do you know the rules of this school?" Came that annoying and taunting voice I am much familiar with. Not again. His friends were surrounding the new kid.
I expected the kid to just back off cowardly, like many others, and surrendered their wallet, and dashed off. Pathetic.
But in this one, I saw his eyes shining, as though as an inner fire lit it. Calmly he answered "No."
"Well, should we tell him, Ootsuka?" Came that little taunting remark from one of Ootsuka cohorts. Everyone laughed there, and Ootsuka smiled gleefully. "Everyone here pays protection fees, newbie. So, how about paying yours now?"
"Oh? I don't think I noticed that rule in the school's rulebook." The new one replied defiantly. I did not move out, but silently in my heart I am complimenting the new one for standing up for himself. If everyone is like this, then the EC could take a nice break.
"Oh, someone here wants to be bashed up." I did not know who spoke that out, but I knew that I had to move out. Or else, the new kid might be in danger.
Miracles happen, or don't they? Or maybe I should not consider this a miracle. The new kid dodged as Ootsuka landed a punch directly at his face. But as it was in futile, his fists slammed into the concrete. Ootsuka winced. "Aho! [Idiot!]"
Everyone pounced on the new kid. He did not reply their punches and kicks, but evaded as much as he could. All those attacks hit nothing but the air. One of Ootsuka's friends clashed with another, and both came crashing down to the floor, pushing the other one down too. Ootsuka gritted his teeth. "You'll pay for this!" He jumped forward and executed a perfect punch on the new kid's face. He fell down, clutching his bleeding face. Immediately the new kid stood up and exclaimed "Now I'll return that punch to you!"
"Stop!" I managed to catch his hand before he made a move. The new one stared at me, confused and angry. "What the hell??? Why are you preventing me from-" His words was cut short when suddenly Ootsuka lunged towards us. I sidestepped and Ootsuka doubled over, falling on his friends. Quickly I dragged the new kid to one corner and to the EC's room.
"Why did you let him go???" The new kid complained as he struggled to get his hand off mine. I smiled. "Look. Ootsuka is wrong just now, yes, but if you attacked him in return, both of you will be in wrong. Do you want to be punished?"
"No." he admitted, still scowling. "But you don't have to pull me away like that! He punched me and I bleed like hell. So what am I supposed to do with this???"
It was when he mentioned of his injury, I remembered that he was hurt. I took out the first-aid kit from one of the drawers, and told him to sit still. He abided after much persuasion. Chuckling, I took out some cotton and cleansed the wound. I noticed a tear on his face. The injury must have been deep indeed.
He winced as I daubed some Mercurochrome onto the wound. Obviously it was painful. "Can't you be more gentle?" He snapped, biting his lips. I smiled. Well, can't he be much more tolerant? It is supposed to hurt a little. Grinning silently, I smeared more of the medicine on it. He almost jumped out of his skin as he got up from his chair, and glared at me. I looked up with mock innocence. He looked as though as he was about to explode. I anticipated that he would yell.
But surprisingly he didn't. He only stared at me, muttered something inaudible, and then sat down back. Then, directly to me, he said.
"Continue,... I don't want to stay here forever."
Shrugging, I took out some plaster, and stripped them out from their package. Gently I plastered the wound. "There." I said, viewing my work. Hmm, not bad,... neat.
It was then when our eyes locked. He looked up at me, and bit his lips.
"Thank you."
I was silent. I did not expect any thanks from him, and yet again he surprised me. I smiled in return. "It's nothing."
"I better get back to the class." he said and left. I smiled as I let him go and watch him exited from the door.
* * *
"Makoto Kubota! Why are you late?" My History teacher, Sensei Tanaka glared at me as I entered my classroom casually. "Council business." I answered nonchalantly as I walked to the back of my class, where my seat was located. I love sitting at the back of the class. No one will disturb you, no one will interrupt you, not even the teacher. I can do whatever I want; ignore the teacher's teaching, open a magazine and read, or a novel, or even smoke. More than often I do not smoke in the class, for the teacher might reprimand me. But typically, I smoke leisurely in the EC room. More privacy.
Suddenly my eyes met another pair. Familiar ones.
I grinned as he looked up in astonishment. Oh, so he choose the vacant seat beside mine. Good. Nice choice.
"You,..." he choked, blinking his eyes in surprise. I raised one eyebrow as I slumped into my seat, and leaned back. The teacher in front had started to drone on the history of Japan and those feudal stuff. Ah, History. My *favorite* subject. Why? I can just waste the whole period here reading another magazine or novel.
But now is no time to read. This is the time to discover the interesting person before me.
"... oh yeah, if you are planning to sit beside me throughout the year, and the next, you better get to know me well." I commented as I gave the new kid a wink. He folded his arms and retorted. "Well, it seems like I can't run from you. Well, you haven't even introduce yourself to me."
"Makoto Kubota. Call me Kubota." I said, extending my hand. He took it, and we shook hands. "Minoru Tokitoh. Call me Tokitoh."
And from then on, it marked the start of a beautiful friendship, something I cherished since then.
* * *
Tokitoh became part of the EC because I introduced him to the job. He was quite an enthusiastic member, and both of us became the dynamic duo of the group. Both of us became best friends. Both of us became part of each other, something that I lost since my drowned past, since time immemorial.
I did not know how long will this last, but I wish it could forever.
Tokitoh was someone who could make me open up to him, to tell him how I feel, to tell him what I feel, to tell him everything. Tokitoh himself is someone who is tough in the exterior, but deep inside he was insecure, as fragile as an eggshell. He was silk and steel, he was like a thin piece of glass, tough and yet fragile.
He was someone I could relate to.
What that amazes me is his ability to understand and to comprehend to my nature. It was as though as he was meant to be my friend, all along.
I don't have to say anything if I am mad, or if I am angry, or if I am happy, or anything. Somehow he would understand how I feel, somehow he will be there.
And somehow, he managed to keep me on my feet too. His rash, impulsive nature, combined with my level-headedness and cool attitude, were a combustion of forces. Fire and Ice.
I always feel thankful to have him here,... with me,...
My friend. Forever.
* * *
We always hang out at the rooftop. I guess it was because barely anyone will interrupt us here, for the exception of Ootsuka and his little group of friends. But it was during these precious little moments on the rooftop that I savored, because we will talk to our heart's content. He will tell me of what he thinks, of what he likes, of what he hates, of what he wishes, and of what he hopes.
He will tell me everything. And also something that he often mentioned.
"I appreciate our friendship, Kubo-chan."
"So do I." I replied, casually slinging my hand around his shoulders. He smiled, and looked up at the skies.
"Friendship forever."
"Friendship forever." I echoed.
* * *
But I never knew since when did we play that little game.
I guess I am to be blamed upon.
I can't resist the look on his face. The confused look, the screwed-up look, the look that ask a million questions... I love to see him look all dazed, and suddenly snapped out of that trance when I revealed everything.
Maybe because of that too, everyone began to have second thoughts about us. Or maybe, it was because before this, the Makoto Kubota that they knew never had any close friend, save one for Matsumoto Kaichou himself.
Hmm,... back to the story.
It was during all those enigmatic moments when I get to hold Tokitoh so close. It was then when I get to tease him gently, my voice dropped one octave lower, my eyes gazing at him tenderly...
It was addicting.
He would be surprised all over, eyes wide, body stiffened, suddenly blushing, muttering "Kubo-chan, what are you thinking??"
I love it when he look all confused.
Then suddenly I will grab his book, and pretend that I want to loan it. He knew that I hated to write my own notes, so he will shout and chase me around for his book.
Or,...
Then suddenly I will flick an imaginary speck of crumbs from his face, and lecture him with the importance of hygiene, and he will pout, complain and tell me to keep my damn mouth shut.
Or,...
There are just so much possibilities to this game, so much endings. All I love them. All I treasured them,.... because all these times are the only times when I get to stare at him, our eyes locked,.... and our faces nearly touching...
Forget about it.
I dismissed all those times as delusional affairs. I don't even know why I found pleasure in watching Tokitoh's mixed expression. I don't understand why.
More than once,... I know I hurt his feelings,... or so I guess. Usually his face will manifest a tumult of emotions,...
... but during one of our 'games',...
I could see a tinge of hurt in his face. At first I thought I saw the wrong thing,...
... but when it repeated more than once,... I began to wonder....
"Tokitoh, I am sorry."
* * *
To be truthful, to be honest...
I do love him. A lot. Maybe because he was the only one I had now, maybe because I have no one I could be with,...
It hurt me to see his hurt expression. I told myself many times not to play that game anymore.
But I can't stop.
I know that I could never confess my true feelings towards him. I am afraid that it will shatter our friendship, just like how it shattered something else in my life, once upon a time.
Many times I know I could casually place my arms around him, but how many times he knew that my heart pounded faster when I came in contact with him? How many times did my heart accelerate?
But I could never bring myself to say 'I Love You'. It destroyed something before, when I said those words before to another. I don't want to destroy the happiness that I am enveloped in now.
That is why I love playing with him. I love playing that game,...
... because it is only then, when I get to hold him tight,...
... and gaze at him the way I wanted to.
But as always, it is worth only a few second, only a flicker of a moment that I wish more than once it will last forever.
* * *
I stared up at the cerulean heavens above me, with the wind blowing ever so softly. I was leaning against the railings on the rooftop, meanwhile Tokitoh pressed himself by the railings, looking down below. I smiled.
I let my hands slipped into a casual pose around his neck, my body pressed against his. I leaned on him. It felt so nice to have him close.
"Kubo-chan...." Came his voice, slow, delicate enough to make me want him more. I did nothing in response, but muttered. "Hmm?"
"We'll be friends forever, right?"
"Yes." I buried my face into his back, feeling the heat of his body against my face. If only he knew,...
"Friendship forever."
That will be a promise that I will keep eternally.
......
Tokitoh,...
Friendship forever,... or are we now lovers?
For the next thing I knew, he turned around and embraced me tightly.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
- owari - the end -
A/N : Finished. Hmm,... it turned out longer and crappier than I expected.... hahahaha! Reviews! Flames also accepted. And for those who had read the 'Fraudulences Of Words' and so far thinks that Kubota is much of a bastard, I hope this one will untie the knots! He has reasons, ne?