My Physics Teacher

by UndeadEnding

Oh, no. Lucy Heartfilia – Genius, respected-individual, and Otaku. Major Otaku. Forced into a job as a high school English teacher, how will this nerdy, anime-controlled Japanese freak handle the students? More to the point, how will they handle her? And why does she keep asking them to count down from one-thousand in sevens? Why on earth did we employ her?

"Nononono! No! Why?! Jellal, Why?! That's it, consider yourself disowned!"

~oOQOo~

"Did you see her? So cute! There should be a law against keeping that body to herself. Ahhh! I'm in heaven. I'm going to do it. I will ask her out. Wait, am I ready. Hmmm. Ready. Hells yeah! Wait, maybe not. I mean, what if she says no? What if she already has a boyfriend? What if she's disgusted? What if she doesn't want to? What i-"

"Shut it! Baka! You don't know he pain I'm in right now!"

"Oh, I'm sorry. Maybe I should leave. And go die in a ditch. I thought you cared, you're so mean! I hat-"

"No! I mean, well... HOW COULD HE?! Doesn't he love her? Wait, he doesn't know that yet. But... STILL! How could he?! Kaneki! I hate you!"

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"You weren't listening, were you?"

"Ahhh! Poor Toka! I hate you, Kaneki!"

"Nope. You weren't. Well, I have school now. Good luck finding your life whilst I'm gone. Try under the sofa? Okay, bye!"

"Nooo! Don't leave me like this! I may not make it out alive! The ghouls'll get me! Ahhh! Help! Its Glutton! Or, Eyepatch? Well, I guess they're the same thing? Still..."

"Okay, I'm going to leave now. Oh, and i guess i was wrong. Your life probably won't be under the sofa, 'cause I'm not really sure that you had one to begin with. Buhbye!"

I wish that I could say that I'm the cool-headed guy. Sadly, no. I, Lucy Ashley Heartfilia, am the blubbering mess that is, if you look really far into my soul, one hundredth woman. And one thousandth human. Not literally, of course. Wait, you thought that I was serious? REALLY?

Hah, that's, uh... Kinda' sad. All flesh and bone over here. With the necessary tendons, ligaments and occasional limb. And, before you ask? Completely sane! Well, I think I am... To some extent. Best not to question it too much. Then again, too much Tokyo Ghoul will do that to anyone! It's not just me! Probably. (Doesn't know)

I should introduce myself, I guess. Lucy Ashley Heartfilia at your service. (Sales notice – de-ja vu now 50% off!) Just imagine me bowing dramatically. There, that wasn't hard, was it? Anyway, back to the point. Right now, my life is pretty much at the verge of nothing. Squat. Nada. And I like it like that. So deal. Which is why I got so worked up when my brother came home holding... That.

"Congratulations, Lu! You're now my schools newest physics teacher! Say cheese!"

And, queue celebratory photo. Lucky me.