Disclaimer: I neither own Nightwing, nor Batman, nor the song 'Because of You.'
Warning: AU- Dick Grayson never became Nightwing. Mentions of rape, underage sex, and MM. If you don't like or don't want to read, the back button's up there.
I will not make
The same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
With his hands in his pockets and his shoulders hunched, a young man walked the dark, windy streets of Gotham. It was a foolish move, walking around the city in the middle of a frigid November night, even for Richard Grayson, but he simply didn't care. The wind cut through his thin black windbreaker and penetrated his bones, the cold a welcome distraction from the heavy thoughts on his mind. Having to leave another girlfriend because she'd said she loved him dredged up painful memories, of another person who got too attached. Dick shook his head, black bangs brushing across his forehead, and kept walking. He ignored the chill that ran up his spine, one that wasn't from the cold. Someone was watching him, but, then again, when wasn't he being watched? He knew who it was, too, so he wasn't really concerned, and went back to his thoughts.
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh, every day of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with
Kayla was her name, a petite redhead with cheerful green eyes and a bright laugh. They'd met at the Black Light night club, where Dick had been dancing the night away and Kayla was bartending. After getting at rather drunk patron off her hands, Kayla gave him a thank-you date. One meeting led to another, and after Dick's regular visits to the Black Light, the two eventually began dating. They'd been going steady for three months when Kayla finally blurted out that she loved Dick. He'd pushed her away, flatly stating that they were over, and left a very confused woman curled up on her couch, wondering what had went wrong. He didn't let her know that he couldn't get attached, that he knew love always, inevitably, ended in heartbreak.
I watched you die, I heard you cry
Every night in your sleep
I was so young, you should have known
Better than to lean on me
A dark shadow passed over Dick, pulling him out of his reverie. He didn't look up, though, and simply walked around the figure who'd dropped into his path. There was a soft sigh, and then a gentle yet firm hand landed on his shoulder.
"Dick, we need to talk." Dick froze, the deep, silky voice that he both missed and feared at the same time washing over him. His name on that person's tongue brought back more memories, of soft sobs, clinging hands, and warm lips, memories he'd tried to so hard to suppress. Dick shuddered slightly.
"No." He felt his eyes sting but shut them tightly. Crying was weakness in his eyes.
"Richard, please." Dick whirled around and slammed his hands against the man's chest, knowing his fists wouldn't do a thing to the Kevlar.
"Dammit, Bruce, no!" His voice hitched as he yelled at the man, and Dick let out a sob as gloved hands covered his.
"Dick, I just want to talk. Please, Dick. I'm so sorry." Bruce Wayne's voice came from under the mask of the Batman, a soft contrast to the hard exterior. Dick let out a desperate, strangled laugh.
"Sorry? Sorry for what, Bruce? I was nine, you bastard. How was I supposed to support you, huh? How the hell was I supposed to heal your broken heart?" Bruce pushed Dick's bangs back from his face, frowning.
"I know I hurt you, Dick. I was wrong. I should have never done that to you." Dick slapped the gloved hand away from his face, glaring up at the man with tears welling in his piercing blue eyes.
"You're right, you shouldn't have. But there is nothing you can do now to make up for it. Not a fucking thing, Bruce. You ruined my life," Dick hissed. The pain in Bruce's eyes did nothing for him, so he turned away and jammed his hands back into his pockets.
"Just go away, Bruce. Melt into the shadows like the goddamn Batman, and leave me the hell alone." Dick stalked down the sidewalk of the Gotham street, letting his tears stream down his face.
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you, I am afraid
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