The look that Brendan gave Ste was a look that only Brendan could give. Blue eyes would focus intently upon Ste, their gaze unwavering. Eyelids would be heavy and his eyes wouldn't always be aware of the present moment and what was surrounding them. Those eyes would be existing solely for Ste.
From afar, others would call them lustful eyes; seeming to undress Ste, appreciating his form and appearance, and as such recalling what reactions could be evoked from that body when it was writhing beneath.
Sometimes though, Ste knew that instead of just skimming his surface, they would delve deep into Ste, deeper than anyone had ever been and they would uncover his inner most traits. The ones that he tried so very hard to suppress, the ones that he wasn't proud of, or the ones that he was embarrassed about; his insecurities. Ste felt vulnerable under that stare and utterly exposed, like Brendan's eyes were directly boring into his soul.
Whether they liked what they saw Ste could never truly know, but at least with that kiss or touch Brendan gave, Ste would know he at least accepted those parts of Ste.
When Ste would feel the weight of Brendan's stare upon him, he would lift his gaze and their eyes would lock. In that moment, they were the only two people in the room, the only two in the world. And nothing else mattered.
Today, it was that those eyes of Brendan's were hungry eyes, and Ste wasn't bothered by that. In fact, he needed them to be; he needed Brendan to want him. He wanted to feel desired.
The past week he'd had to be someone he wasn't, put up a pretence that was so fake it made Ste reel inside and even then it had been for no use. He'd still been battered back down and made to feel worthless like he didn't even deserve to be alive.
That's just what revisiting his past did to him; however that was going to be the very last time Ste would ever have to go through it; it was sorted and he could breathe a sigh of relief.
During that time he hadn't seen Brendan. Of course Brendan had asked to go with him- probably would have sorted it out Brendan Brady style- but it wouldn't have been right. Ste didn't want those two parts of his life crossing over-his history, and his present and future, not if he could help it and he knew he would feel far more satisfaction if he did it on his own; knowing that he was able to do it on his own.
It would take a bit of time for that satisfaction to come to Ste though, to make him feel it through his bones, but Ste could wait; he was very much prepared to do that. And for now, all he wanted to do was forget; believe those long hours he'd spent inside that courtroom while his own mother hurled abuse at him were a part of someone else's life.
That it wasn't him who his own mother felt betrayed by, as a result of her only son not supporting her claims that all that extremely expensive jewellery had just been "accidentally knocked" into her pocket, and that she wouldn't have an ulterior motive to sell it on.
Ste had to believe he was stronger than the little boy he'd felt himself return to as he gave evidence against his mother to say that this certainly wasn't the first time.
It wasn't that he'd had to play a part in his mother's downfall, but when his mother had rang up, attempting to beg for forgiveness and to have Ste come and fill the courtroom with lies so her skin would be saved, he'd had to go and prove to her just how different they were. How they may be biologically related, but psychologically they were now two ends of the spectrum.
Now, Ste wanted to imagine it was a dream, or better yet, remove from his mind that it had occurred. And that's how he'd ended up at Chez Chez, casting alluring glances at Brendan and watching Brendan eye-fuck him back in response.
It was a busy night so Brendan was helping out behind the bar until a large number of the customers petered out.
At one point Brendan got Ash to give Ste a beer and watched on as she handed it to him; he wouldn't do it himself, as he liked the tension that was building between them, and besides he was waiting for Ste to make the first move.
Tonight, Ste was really just waiting for it to die down a bit, so Brendan could get away and not be missed, so he just gulped down his beer and revelled in the taste- having not had one since he'd been away- and watched Brendan become more agitated as a result of Ste playing this game with him. It was serving to Ste's advantage though, as he knew when they got into the office- as neither had enough patience to return home- there would be some rough, passionate sex that would ensue, especially since he was teasing Brendan by being just out of arm's reach.
Only when the really rowdy ones had been literally thrown out by Brendan, did Ste make his way over to the office, unlocking it with the set of keys Ash had given him earlier in case he "wanted some time alone", and slipped inside the dimly lit room.
Without any delay, Brendan was straight behind him, slithering in alongside Ste and slamming the door shut behind them.
Initially, no breath was wasted on speaking: it wasn't necessary. The air around them was thick with currently unsatisfied lust and that in itself said enough.
There was just a moment of silence where even their breathing did seem to have stopped, when they both looked into the eyes of the other. This time it perhaps wasn't so much of hunger- not that that had dissipated even one bit- but it was one of understanding. A deep understanding that could not be matched from anybody else.
Nobody else would know the extent to which each missed the other when they were parted, especially now after experiencing being together.
No other person would be able to comprehend how Brendan had felt tortured that he'd had to let Steven deal with his family by himself- because that is the way he'd wished it, and even though he'd wanted to go and stand by him, there was a higher level of needing to make Steven happy and so that ruled out any of Brendan's wishes. Steven came first; above all else.
Never would anyone realise how much Ste needed Brendan to lift his spirits; to make his eyes brighten; to make him walk with a little bounce. Without Brendan a part of him was missing, although even then Brendan was all he could see. The man consumed him fully, took over his every thought; his every breath.
They could restrain themselves no longer; plenty of that had occurred before, and needn't now.
Hands clasped around necks and drew heads closer until lips moulded together with ease. Tongues entwined and began their own rhythm, tempo ever increasing.
Ste was turned around and pushed up against the office door; lifted a few inches until he was on the tips of his toes.
Brendan attacked Ste's lips with his own and Ste's hair with his fingers, wreaking havoc on the gelled masterpiece that had existed. Not that either cared.
Electricity around them crackled and buzzed through their veins. Adrenalin was pumping furiously and both we're unable to repress any moans that surfaced.
Their lips unlocked just enough to take in some much needed air and Ste leant his forehead against Brendan's, "I missed you, you know," he whispered breathlessly.
"Me too." Brendan agreed and returned to exploring the inside of Ste's mouth with his own.
Perhaps they needed that- an affirmation of what they both already knew granted- but just to hear it said aloud made it ring true and diminished any internal fears they had. Now they could progress. They pulled off any clothes their hands came into contact with, whether their own or not and flung the articles across the room.
Ste pulled Brendan's mouth back to his by biting his bottom lip and tugging it closer, and felt Brendan's arms snake around himself allowing him to be hoisted up, becoming pressed firmly against the wall. Encircling his legs around Brendan's waist, Ste made sure there was no loss of connection anywhere.
Then, after Brendan prepared them both, listening to Ste's whimpers as he did so, he began to push himself into Ste's warm and inviting body. Groans filled the space and their skin to skin contact created a delicious friction which only added to their intense pleasure.
Ste started to counter Brendan's thrusts, sinking deeper onto him which made his eyes roll back.
Their hands stroked every inch of hot skin, fingers gripping strands of hair and tugging as the kiss continued, messy as it now was.
Ste began to sense the fire building, and not just in him; Brendan was increasing his speed too, chasing that fall off the abyss.
In strange harmony they worked together, achieving pleasure from and for each other like no one else had ever before. They were intoxicated by each other, so drunk they'd lost all sense of the outside world, of anything existing but them. It was a miracle Brendan remained standing.
Ste cried out; jumping first off that edge, and it gave Brendan some time to bring them down to the floor, before he followed right behind Ste in this free fall, feeling Ste convulse around him. Their eyes squeezed tight as they gratefully allowed this pleasure to overpower them.
Gasps took them over as their bodies simmered down, intakes of breath still ragged. Ste felt his whole body weight slump against Brendan's and just briefly unlocked himself from Brendan's embrace, so he was able to grasp Brendan's jacket and draw it over them.
Just before Ste slid back into Brendan's arms, he cast a glance over the man's face. A blissful expression adorned it; swollen lips, red cheeks, half shut eyelids and messy hair. Brendan observed Ste back in a similar manner of amusement, silently informing Ste his image must be a mirror of Brendan's.
A finger of Brendan's came up to trace Ste's lips as Brendan drawled, "Missed being able to do that." Ste kissed the finger, smirked, and then planted a lazy kiss upon Brendan's own lips before curling up on him.
Even now, after all the final shudders of that wild sex had subsided, all Ste could still see and feel and taste and hear was Brendan; remaining all-consumed by him. And that's how he always wanted it to be.
I just wanted to say thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it!
This was inspired by all those longing looks Stendan were engaging in and also I just really wanted to write down how I would imagine their office wall sex would go...
Hopefully they'll get an oppurtunity for some again soon...yum...
I'd love to hear what you thought and if you ask something I'll reply :)
-SwearByStendan-
*STENDAN IN DUBLIN!*