Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or Paranormal Activity
I mean NO offense to fans. I'm just bored and wanted to write a somewhat funny story so please don't tell me to go die because I'm hating on Twilight. I am a fan of Twilight and I don't wish to piss anyone off. Thank you, please read and review. ONE-SHOT unless I get more reviews.
Ch. 1: What I've learned from Twilight
1. Guys will fall for girls just because they're a new face even if they're ugly, a klutz, stammers, or is awkward.
2. When someone watches you sleep it's actually romantic. But when the lady in Paranormal Activity does it, it's creepy.
3. Taylor Lautner looks ugly with long hair.
4. Vampires sparkle in the sunlight like Tinker Bell.
5. If you ask a guy to kiss you, he will most likely break your skull.
6. When you die you become pretty.
7. Don't make food for someone unless you know they haven't ate because a certain blond will break a glass bowl and throw a hissy fit.
8. If your telling your dad you have a date, make sure he doesn't have a gun in his hand!
9. Ben and Lauren aren't good enough for the movies.
10. A boy will love you just because he can't read your mind.
11. Some girls think about how they are going to die.
12. The screenwriter(Melissa Rosenberg) can't even get the day that Bella arrives at Forks right. (The movie said March, the book said January)
13. If you drop an apple on your foot it will magically pop up into your hand.
14. It's not weird at all when you date your adopted brother or sister that you live with.
15. It looks really bad when you walk around with a pale face and red ears and red neck. (blame the makeup department)
16. It's very thoughtful and romantic when a guy stalks you around at night in his car.
17. If you find out someone you know is a vampire it's perfectly safe to confront him or her about it alone.
18. A member of a coven(Laurent) will easily turn on the rest of its coven and help the enemy destroy them by telling them all of their abilities.
19. It's a stupid idea to put an author in the movie based on the book she wrote. (especially if you are going to call her by her actual name)
20. Wolves like licorice. (when they're siting in the car in La Push)
Again, I MEAN NO OFFENSE TO FANS! Thank you.