Infinite Possibilities;
The Final Probability
Phi Phi "Le Trelk"
"I'm very angry."
"Me too.'
"We had good times."
"I wouldn't change it for the world. You made me a better person."
"That wasn't hard. I love you.so much."
"I love you."
"I would have gone to Earth."
"Mmmm.sorry you never got to meet my dad.my real dad. Sorry I never got to meet your dad.I'm sorry about a lot of things."
"Don't be. I don't want you to go that way."
"I won't.huh."
"What?"
"They say that it's the lucky.ambitious man, goes when he's ready. That's it. Scorpius is gone.I did some good things, I'm proud of my life and I'm with you."
A gentle kiss, that held all of the uncertainty of the past, the pain of the future and the future would never be realized. A gentle kiss that would have to last through eternity. A kiss full of love, anguish and heartbreak.
"Don't worry about me, I've never felt better."
.....
She lay next to him for arns, a blanket thrown over them to keep warm.even as he grew steadily cold. She lay next to him for arns, praying for another lifetime.praying to his God and all the deities she could think of.. She prayed for just one more breath.one more second, but none would come. He was so still.so cold, it was so unlike the John Crichton, she'd come to know and love. Her John was dead, gone into a world tha t had not yet called her. He was gone and she was alone.
......
She walked slowly back to their quarters.their .their quarters no more, now just hers. She stared neither left nor right. Her body moved with the stiffness of an automaton. Her gaze was trained on visions.memories.
"I had this life.I liked it. It had rules.I followed the rules, that made everything right and then you come along and frell everything up.this strange human with arrogance .stubbornness."
"Don't."
"Let me finish! You saw the recording and you didn't say a word. You are like a plague John Crichton and you have ruined my life and yet I just keep coming back.you can talk now."
"Let me show you something. Come here, I'm not going to bite. This is a star chart, these are the names I give the stars."
"They've already got names."
"Yeah, I know but Nantacka 3 sounds boring to me anyway that's Hewey, Lewey and Dewey.you see that one? That's that star right there. The bright one, that's my point of reference.my guide and it always becomes the center of my chart and I'll always name it Aeryn."]
.......
Talyn monitored her progress, as she moved somewhat unsteadily toward the quarters she'd once shared with John Crichton. Though they were no longer linked, he could still absorb the essence of her stronger emotions, sadness.intense sadness. His usual snappy beeps and hums were now decidedly dulcet, trying to sooth her. He too would miss John Crichton; the alien had helped him to understand human emotion. He would never know the deep emotion that the human had shared with Aeryn, but he could remember and thanks to Aeryn he would carry that memory always.
"Talyn, I want you to share something with me before he dies. You can taste something that is denied to Peacekeepers, something that you will never know."
"Can you feel that? Good, Talyn that is what is means to need someone. You don't need me."
He hurt now, because she hurt. He was angry now, because he could not help her as she had helped him numerous times before. All he could do was watch over her.
.....
Her legs collapsed underneath her; the wall her only support. Her mind almost shattered with uncontrollable anguish, a pain so piercing, numbness would not come. It was a pain to which she a seasoned Peacekeeper had no tolerance. She pulled her legs up, wrapped her arms around them and laid her sensitive cheek upon them. Her body trembling with unspent anguish, all she could do was allow it to wash over her. He was gone and with him her soul. She must accept that no matter the pain, the desolation and the heartbreak, her John was gone and he wasn't coming back.
She had to pack up his things.she had to pack up her things. She stood; bracing herself against the wall for fear her legs would give out again. Her movements automatic, she gathered his things. His coat. Still warm with his body heat.or was it her mind playing tricks. It didn't matter. he wouldn't wear it again. She would take it with her.she couldn't stand the thought of Stark wearing it and she knew Crais wouldn't touch it even if she gave it to him. She folded it and sat it carefully on the edge of their bunk.hmmm not theirs.not anymore. She moved through the compartment, gathering his cloths.his gun.his manuals. His frelling manuals! She traced the symbols he had diligently created for his star charts. The other manual.no he'd called it a wourk bock, full of Inglesh words.Inglesh earth. It all brought her back to him.her John and he was gone and she was alone.
"You didn't think I planned on going home alone did ya?"
"I haven't been thinking about it."
"I wouldn't want to do that.go back alone."
"I wouldn't want you to."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You know this new knowledge you've got in your head?"
"Yeah?"
"Can you use it to get home?"
"Yeah."
"Let's do what we have to do here and then we'll go!"
.........
Her mind exploded, her emotions overflowed, she couldn't hold them in any longer. Ripping the bed sheets, tossing cloths and books.she raged through the room. "FRELL YOU JOHN CRICHTON! HOW DARE YOU MAKE ME LOVE YOU..JUST TO WATCH YOU LEAVE ME!!!! WHAT GAVE YOU THE RIGHT TO PLAY THE HERO AND LE.LEAVE ME BEHIND?!!! She screamed cried, kicked destroyed until she finally had no more. Her John was gone and nothing would bring him back to her.he was gone and she was alone.
Her tirade over, she simply crumpled to the floor. Crawling over to the destroyed bed, she climbed slowly, almost painfully onto the flat mattress. Rolling over onto her back, her unfocused gaze on the ceiling above. Tears welling and running down her pounding temples, disappearing into the darkness of her hair. Her voice now threadbare and weak with spent emotion almost child-like in its forlornness penetrated the now silent room. "Why did you take my heart.just to break it?" Her hands found his pillow, the pillow where his head had lain jus arns before. She wrapped her arms around the pillow, pressing her face into its soft center. She inhaled deeply the scent.John's scent; her mind would forever carry it. Like a balm for her bruised emotions. "John, what do I do now? Where do I go.how do I live?" The words.barely words more like the cries of a fractured soul echoed through the room, mingling with a past so recent it was still the present.her painful present.but [I]his[/I] past.
"So it's your life for everyone else's?"
"And you're different how?"
"I'm different because I love you!"
"Then you know I have to do this. I'm coming back.."
She sat up slowly staring around at the results of her tantrum. Sliding off of the bed, she began folding the items.his items again, blessing each piece with her tears and her lips. No more jokes.no more inane human nonsense.no more incessant chatter.no more snuggling.no more Inglesh lessons.no more kisses. She would never feel his arms around her. She would never wake up next to him.make love to him. Her John.her beautiful John with his beautiful blue eyes.
"I have great eyes! They're better than twenty twenty and they're blue!
Her John was gone and with him her soul.
Possibilities.the possibilities had been infinite. They could have ignored the wormhole. They could have run. They could have stayed on the planet and died together. There were millions of solutions they could have chosen, but in the end , they'd chosen the path that was before them and John had chosen the solution that he could live with.
Oh yes the possibilities had been infinite but the probability was a final one. John was gone and she was alone.
THE END
Phi Phi "Le Trelk"
"I'm very angry."
"Me too.'
"We had good times."
"I wouldn't change it for the world. You made me a better person."
"That wasn't hard. I love you.so much."
"I love you."
"I would have gone to Earth."
"Mmmm.sorry you never got to meet my dad.my real dad. Sorry I never got to meet your dad.I'm sorry about a lot of things."
"Don't be. I don't want you to go that way."
"I won't.huh."
"What?"
"They say that it's the lucky.ambitious man, goes when he's ready. That's it. Scorpius is gone.I did some good things, I'm proud of my life and I'm with you."
A gentle kiss, that held all of the uncertainty of the past, the pain of the future and the future would never be realized. A gentle kiss that would have to last through eternity. A kiss full of love, anguish and heartbreak.
"Don't worry about me, I've never felt better."
.....
She lay next to him for arns, a blanket thrown over them to keep warm.even as he grew steadily cold. She lay next to him for arns, praying for another lifetime.praying to his God and all the deities she could think of.. She prayed for just one more breath.one more second, but none would come. He was so still.so cold, it was so unlike the John Crichton, she'd come to know and love. Her John was dead, gone into a world tha t had not yet called her. He was gone and she was alone.
......
She walked slowly back to their quarters.their .their quarters no more, now just hers. She stared neither left nor right. Her body moved with the stiffness of an automaton. Her gaze was trained on visions.memories.
"I had this life.I liked it. It had rules.I followed the rules, that made everything right and then you come along and frell everything up.this strange human with arrogance .stubbornness."
"Don't."
"Let me finish! You saw the recording and you didn't say a word. You are like a plague John Crichton and you have ruined my life and yet I just keep coming back.you can talk now."
"Let me show you something. Come here, I'm not going to bite. This is a star chart, these are the names I give the stars."
"They've already got names."
"Yeah, I know but Nantacka 3 sounds boring to me anyway that's Hewey, Lewey and Dewey.you see that one? That's that star right there. The bright one, that's my point of reference.my guide and it always becomes the center of my chart and I'll always name it Aeryn."]
.......
Talyn monitored her progress, as she moved somewhat unsteadily toward the quarters she'd once shared with John Crichton. Though they were no longer linked, he could still absorb the essence of her stronger emotions, sadness.intense sadness. His usual snappy beeps and hums were now decidedly dulcet, trying to sooth her. He too would miss John Crichton; the alien had helped him to understand human emotion. He would never know the deep emotion that the human had shared with Aeryn, but he could remember and thanks to Aeryn he would carry that memory always.
"Talyn, I want you to share something with me before he dies. You can taste something that is denied to Peacekeepers, something that you will never know."
"Can you feel that? Good, Talyn that is what is means to need someone. You don't need me."
He hurt now, because she hurt. He was angry now, because he could not help her as she had helped him numerous times before. All he could do was watch over her.
.....
Her legs collapsed underneath her; the wall her only support. Her mind almost shattered with uncontrollable anguish, a pain so piercing, numbness would not come. It was a pain to which she a seasoned Peacekeeper had no tolerance. She pulled her legs up, wrapped her arms around them and laid her sensitive cheek upon them. Her body trembling with unspent anguish, all she could do was allow it to wash over her. He was gone and with him her soul. She must accept that no matter the pain, the desolation and the heartbreak, her John was gone and he wasn't coming back.
She had to pack up his things.she had to pack up her things. She stood; bracing herself against the wall for fear her legs would give out again. Her movements automatic, she gathered his things. His coat. Still warm with his body heat.or was it her mind playing tricks. It didn't matter. he wouldn't wear it again. She would take it with her.she couldn't stand the thought of Stark wearing it and she knew Crais wouldn't touch it even if she gave it to him. She folded it and sat it carefully on the edge of their bunk.hmmm not theirs.not anymore. She moved through the compartment, gathering his cloths.his gun.his manuals. His frelling manuals! She traced the symbols he had diligently created for his star charts. The other manual.no he'd called it a wourk bock, full of Inglesh words.Inglesh earth. It all brought her back to him.her John and he was gone and she was alone.
"You didn't think I planned on going home alone did ya?"
"I haven't been thinking about it."
"I wouldn't want to do that.go back alone."
"I wouldn't want you to."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You know this new knowledge you've got in your head?"
"Yeah?"
"Can you use it to get home?"
"Yeah."
"Let's do what we have to do here and then we'll go!"
.........
Her mind exploded, her emotions overflowed, she couldn't hold them in any longer. Ripping the bed sheets, tossing cloths and books.she raged through the room. "FRELL YOU JOHN CRICHTON! HOW DARE YOU MAKE ME LOVE YOU..JUST TO WATCH YOU LEAVE ME!!!! WHAT GAVE YOU THE RIGHT TO PLAY THE HERO AND LE.LEAVE ME BEHIND?!!! She screamed cried, kicked destroyed until she finally had no more. Her John was gone and nothing would bring him back to her.he was gone and she was alone.
Her tirade over, she simply crumpled to the floor. Crawling over to the destroyed bed, she climbed slowly, almost painfully onto the flat mattress. Rolling over onto her back, her unfocused gaze on the ceiling above. Tears welling and running down her pounding temples, disappearing into the darkness of her hair. Her voice now threadbare and weak with spent emotion almost child-like in its forlornness penetrated the now silent room. "Why did you take my heart.just to break it?" Her hands found his pillow, the pillow where his head had lain jus arns before. She wrapped her arms around the pillow, pressing her face into its soft center. She inhaled deeply the scent.John's scent; her mind would forever carry it. Like a balm for her bruised emotions. "John, what do I do now? Where do I go.how do I live?" The words.barely words more like the cries of a fractured soul echoed through the room, mingling with a past so recent it was still the present.her painful present.but [I]his[/I] past.
"So it's your life for everyone else's?"
"And you're different how?"
"I'm different because I love you!"
"Then you know I have to do this. I'm coming back.."
She sat up slowly staring around at the results of her tantrum. Sliding off of the bed, she began folding the items.his items again, blessing each piece with her tears and her lips. No more jokes.no more inane human nonsense.no more incessant chatter.no more snuggling.no more Inglesh lessons.no more kisses. She would never feel his arms around her. She would never wake up next to him.make love to him. Her John.her beautiful John with his beautiful blue eyes.
"I have great eyes! They're better than twenty twenty and they're blue!
Her John was gone and with him her soul.
Possibilities.the possibilities had been infinite. They could have ignored the wormhole. They could have run. They could have stayed on the planet and died together. There were millions of solutions they could have chosen, but in the end , they'd chosen the path that was before them and John had chosen the solution that he could live with.
Oh yes the possibilities had been infinite but the probability was a final one. John was gone and she was alone.
THE END