Basil's (MC's) POV

I can't believe I'm here!

Even after being in Zen's cute little apartment for almost the entire day, my heart's still beating at a thousand miles an hour with no sign of slowing down.

I love everything about Zen's place. It's cute and compact... humble for such a talented, handsome, and fairly famous actor like Zen and I love it! And Zen…

He's even more lovely in person. Not just in looks, but in everything!

I glance over at him now, sitting on the couch, cast propped up on the coffee table and smiling ear to ear. I can't help but blush.

"I still can't believe you're here." He says, sporting a blush of his own.

I decide to take a seat next to him, "To be honest, neither can I."

We're just sitting there, staring at each other. The air is thick with our unsaid words and feelings and I feel like at any moment I'll choke on it. But I try to keep my feelings in check and my head out of the gutter.

I giggle and look away shyly, my nerves getting the best of me, "I-I like hanging out with you, Z-Zen."

I feel the couch shift and I turn back to see Zen trying to sit up. He looks… pensive and I wonder whether he's about to ask me something important or if he's gonna tell me to leave since it is getting pretty late.

"Basil…" He says.

Oh God.

"C-Can I… hold your hand?" He looks so self-conscious, so different from my original perceptions of him when we first started chatting through the messenger.

I nod a bit too excitedly, "Of course!"

"Thank you." He cautiously takes my hand, lacing his fingers between mine as a look of vulnerability briefly flashes across his face. I wonder if this simple contact is enough to both calm his nerves and jolt his senses, like it does to me.

I bite the corner of my lip to keep myself from saying something stupid.

Zen smiles at me then, clearly just as flustered, "You know… I feel so… so calm when I'm with you."

I can tell I'm overheating under his lovely red gaze but I just nod. Stupidly. Because my brain fails to make words go. It's refusing to make the smart words.

Gosh, I'm a wreck…

Zen laughs and tucks a stray hair behind my ear, "I never thought you'd be so quiet though."

"Sorry!" I blurt out in a blind panic. My eyes roam everywhere but him and I feel my shoulders tense up a bit. "I just… I'm afraid I'll say something stupid…"

Zen laughs again, his fingers tracing the side of my face and down my jaw, "You're so cute, Basil."

I only manage to babble a few incoherent words before he's holding my chin up and I'm staring right into his beautiful ruby colored eyes.

I could just kiss him.

I quickly stand up, forcing myself to let go of his hand and shake away my unrealistic urges.

… This new silence hurts.

"I… I'm sorry..." He sounds so ashamed and I grimace at the thought of hurting him.

"Zen, it's not you, believe me!" I say. The world around me is spinning and I'm afraid he'll hate me. "But… Jaehee's words keep ringing in my head and I—"

I stop when Zen gets to his feet.

"Zen! Your ankle!" I remind him, trying to get him to sit back down.

He's gripping onto my forearms and staring down at me, "I'm fine, Basil. I'm good, I'm good."

Now that he's standing I realize just how much taller he is compared to my short stature. I'm pinned by his gaze, and his gaze alone, as my breath hitches in my chest. I take a deep breath and force myself to continue.

"I really, really, like you, Zen." I tell him, my mind and heart racing each other because they both wish to rule over what I say right now. "But Jaehee has a point, scandals are poison to actors like you and I… I couldn't forgive myself if I ruined your career."

I stare at his shirt now because I feel like his eyes are burning my soul, "You're amazing, Zen. You love acting and singing and making people smile and you've proven to everyone that you're not just a pretty face... You've proven that you can go far because you have real talent and charm and I'm in awe of you!"

I sigh, "But the world is too. I don't wanna be selfish by wanting you but the truth is… I am. I'm very selfish… I want you, and only you, and is that such a bad thing?" My eyes flit up to meet his briefly before I return my focus back on his shirt. "I don't know if it's ok to like you, or if you even want to like someone like me, or if everyone else would hate me for liking you so much, or—"

"Hey." He interrupts my babbling, his voice soft and sweet as he squeezes my forearms to get my attention.

I look up at him and this time my eyes stay up, facing him head on and ready as I'll ever be to hear what he has to say. If he agrees or if he wants to dump me before we even start. It's his decision, I remind myself. Let him choose what he wants.

"I know Jaehee cares about me." He says and I feel my heart sinking already.

Does he mean that she… likes him too?

"N-No, not like that…" Zen clarifies. (I mentally sigh in relief.) "She cares about me because she enjoys my acting and wants to see me succeed. She's a fan of mine and worries that if I get involved with someone, I'll lose fans and reputation. Jaehee thinks that that's the most important thing to me."

I frown, "But… isn't it? You need fans and a good reputation."

He shakes his head, clutching my forearms tighter, "It is important, Basil. But it's important to the actor Zen."

"So… what's important to the normal, non-actor, Zen?" I ask, feeling slightly breathless.

"Love."

My knees are weak and his eyes are filled with so much passion that I want to look away but feel that if I do... I'll never see him look at me like this ever again. I open my mouth to respond but have no idea what to say because my head is spinning and my heart is pounding in my ears.

"Love is important to me." Zen says, his piercing gaze never faltering. "I want to find someone I can be truthful with and who can be truthful with me, someone who can lift my spirits and send my heart aflutter, someone who's sweet, caring, cute… Someone like you."

My face is on fire and I bite my lip, "So, you're saying…?"

He laughs, bright and beautiful and my heart is about to burst open, "I'm saying that I'm willing to risk my career for love. Because both are worth fighting for, and my life wouldn't be complete without either one." He leans closer and wraps his arms around my shoulders as he whispers in my ear, "You make me want to risk it all, Basil."

I feel like fainting or screaming but the warmth of Zen's arms around my shoulders soothes the whirlwind of emotions swirling inside of me and suddenly I can think clearly. I relax and fall deeper into his embrace, my heart still fluttering like crazy.

"... Do you really mean all that, Zen?" I ask.

"Of course I do." He pulls me closer and I pray he doesn't feel my uncontrollable heartbeat. "I'd risk it all for you. For love."

I hesitantly return his hug, noticing how he relaxes a bit more and finds better balance in my arms, "... Well I'll be there to make sure the risk is worth it."