(Wow I can't believe I actually finished this, I started it about a year ago! Now I have all this school's-out-forever based free-time on my hands, I've got a chance to finish my millions of incomplete ficcies - here's one of them! Dedicated to all KenxOmi fans everywhere!!)

Angel Dreams

or

How Ken came to call Omi 'tenshi'

by Charlie

Ken was an assassin. Ready for anything. Whatever. He should be aware of everything around him, even in sleep, he should know if someone was near… And maybe, on some level, he was aware of Omi, kneeling by his bed, watching him sleep… He probably sensed it was someone familiar, someone intending no harm towards him whatsoever, someone who would die a thousand times before hurting him…

Ken was as beautiful in sleep as awake, Omi thought, maybe moreso since the concerns of everyday life, more for him than would ever be for a great many people, had no hold over him in his dreams. He was just so lovely…

Omi reached out and gently touched his dark hair. It was so soft and silky, and he stroked it carefully - what would Ken think if he were to wake up? - unable to then resist moving his hand down to touch Ken's face, feel his smooth skin for a moment.

"I love you Ken," he breathed. He often did this, came and spent time with the boy he loved at the only time when he could say the things he wished he could say… Ken didn't know how he felt, and Omi knew he could never tell him - even if he thought he could ever have a chance, even if their lives weren't complicated enough, too much, already, he would never, ever have the courage… He was sure to be rejected. Nobody had ever loved him, why would Ken, beautiful, sweet Ken?

"I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I'll love you forever. I…I promise.."

Ken shifted slightly. Omi froze, thinking he had woken him up, but his eyes stayed closed, his breathing steady… Omi watched with wide, adoring eyes as he sighed and smiled in his sleep.

His eyes filled with tears. Ken made him want to smile with happiness - in hard times being with him was the only reason he could be as cheerful as he was - but also to weep, to cry forever because he would never know how much he loved him, because they could never spend forever together..

He stroked Ken's face softly, and, feeling brave, ran trembling fingers over his lips. He wanted so badly to kiss those lips! And…here was temptation… He leaned closer. Would it matter if he did? Ken wouldn't ever know, would he? He was so kind, he would probably gift Omi with a little kiss if he knew how much he longed for it… It would be alright, and he wanted it so much, if he just…

As soon as he touched his lips to Ken's, he knew he shouldn't be doing this. The tears that had threatened just a second ago fell from his eyes, splashing onto Ken's face, not his. He pulled back straight away, not thinking about how he had loved the feel of Ken's lips and his together, even if just for a second, how the boy's gentle breath felt on his skin…

"Don't cry" he breathed, rubbing his eyes then carefully wiping his stray tears from his love's face. Ken would never cry for him…

"Omi."

Omi turned his head to see Aya in the doorway. He knew he looked guilty, he was guilty, he had taken something precious from Ken without asking… How could he?

"Aya…what…are you doing here?"

"Saw the door open. Couldn't sleep."

"Me neither, I…" Omi looked back at Ken, still sleeping peacefully. "I…oh…" He couldn't help it, more tears leaked from his eyes, and he started sobbing quietly. He covered his face with his hands and stumbled to his feet, he had to run, he had to get out of here, away from Ken…

But he found he couldn't push past Aya, who held his shoulders firmly.

"What is it Omi? What are you really doing here?" he said, in a flat voice behind which only those who had known him a long time would be able to sense real concern. Omi did not uncover his face, but mumbled into his hands.

"What?" Aya hadn't heard him. He let go of his shoulders and took hold of his wrists, gently prising his hands from his tear-stained face.

"Oh, Aya, I love him!"

Aya's expression didn't change, but he looked past Omi to Ken, who didn't look so peaceful now but still slept.

"You…love him?"

"I just wanted to see him, he's so beautiful like this.." Omi said mournfully. "When he's asleep I can…think maybe…maybe he loves me too…" He broke down crying again, and Aya held him against his chest. Omi was glad he was there - he knew Aya cared about the rest of them even though it didn't always seem like it. "I don't know…what…to…do!" he sobbed brokenly. "I can't…cope with feeling…like this…"

Aya hugged him tightly, then steered him gently out of Ken's room.

"Come on, we better leave now before he wakes.."

He shut the door quietly behind them.

Omi went to breakfast next morning with a smile on his face, despite the misery of last night - people who said he was just a naturally happy person weren't wrong. Aya had made him a hot drink and sat with him on the sofa, awkwardly doing his best to make him feel better until he fell asleep in spite of the fact that it mustn't have been till about half two. Aya was, in fact, the only one not at the table as he arrived, and Omi felt a little guilty for keeping him up so late..

Youji was downing what Omi guessed was probably his fourth or fifth mug of way too strong coffee - mornings didn't agree with him even when he HAD had a healthy amount of sleep! Ken was buttering toast, and looked up and smiled when he saw Omi. Omi's heart fluttered nervously as he remembered what he had done last night.

"Hey Omi, sleep well?"

"Yes, thanks!" he replied, and smiled back. "Morning," he said as he passed Youji on his way to the fridge.

"Goddamnit and it is." Youji looked down at his coffee, sighing as he realised he'd finished it, and Ken chuckled.

"Juice anyone?"

"Yep, please."

Omi poured two orange juices and sat down across the table from Ken, sliding one to him.

"Here, you can have some toast if you want it," Ken offered and Omi nodded gratefully, taking a piece. Aya came in just then, ignoring everyone's greetings and sitting down.

"You look way out of it!" Youji commented, his own little way of asking if he was OK. Aya glared at him, his own little way of…well, glaring.

"I had such a weird dream last night!" Ken said suddenly. Omi glanced at him. Aya looked entirely uninterested.

"About angels.." Ken mused, more to himself than any of the others. "Well, an angel..who.." He flushed slightly pink. "Who kissed me.." Omi knew he must be blushing too, a lot more than Ken, and was glad those dark eyes weren't on him..

"Was she hot?" Youji asked, smirking.

"It wasn't…" He stopped and bit his lip. Omi had never seen anything so cute, but was too confused and worried to dwell on it long. Did Ken know? He must have been half awake, had he thought it was a dream? Was he, Omi, his angel?

"It wasn't what?" Youji prompted, one eyebrow raised.

"Oh shut up Youji!" Ken snapped, throwing a bit of toast at him and apologising immediately afterwards. "You're ruining my dream-remembering! It wasn't like that, it was…it was sad, the angel was crying, I think, well…"

He touched his fingers to his cheek.

"I don't know, there were tears…but they weren't mine…"

Omi stood up quickly, his chair falling to the floor with a clatter that made everyone look up.

"I have to go…out…for a walk…to school," he said awkwardly, standing the chair back up and fairly sprinting from the kitchen without looking any of the others in the eye.

"Hey, why? Omi!" Ken called after him. "What is it?" He sighed.

Youji stood up, put his mugs in the sink and yawned.

"He'll come back when he's ready, don't stress," he said calmly, and left the kitchen too, but not before giving Ken a wink that he felt should have worried him…but he was worried about Omi…maybe he should go after him…just to make sure he was alright…

It was a moment before he noticed Aya was staring at him.

"What!?"

Aya stared at him a bit longer.

"Did your angel…look a bit like him?"

Ken blinked. Aya left before he could think up the words to ask him what he meant. Him? The angel… Omi, it looked like Omi, of course, he always dreamed of the sweet boy…but…how could Aya know that? He bit his lip, wondering whether the others knew he was in love…whether Omi knew it was him he loved…

… a bit like him…

He remembered that dream as if it were real… The figure, it was Omi, but he had felt like it must be an angel; just that presence had made him feel so wonderful, so safe, and loved… He had promised to love him forever…

But that didn't matter right now anyway. What mattered was that Omi was alright.

"Hey Omi!"

Ken caught him just as he was going out the door.

"It's way too early to go to school, why are you running off?"

"I…it doesn't matter," Omi said shortly, feeling more and more ashamed of himself as he forced a smile and Ken watched him concernedly. He didn't deserve Ken's concern, not when he took advantage of him in his sleep, not when he was too selfish to accept what he couldn't have, not when he took it anyway…

"Are you sure? If there's…"

"Leave me alone!" Omi snapped, and instantly plunged deeper into guilt as Ken looked stung.

"I…I just wanted to…"

"I'm sorry!" Omi cried, feeling his eyes fill up with tears. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it! Thankyou for…I have to…I'm sorry for everything!"

"Omi, tell me what's wrong," Ken pleaded, touching his arm and looking heartbroken as Omi pulled away quickly. "I just want to make you feel better."

The tears finally spilled from Omi's eyes, and he hung his head as he sobbed quietly, too ashamed and dispirited to shrug off Ken's arm around his shoulders. All Ken wanted was to be kind to him, and he longed for more than he had any right to want, what kind of friend was he? What made him feel even worse was that still, even though he knew it was wrong, he was aching for Ken to just love him… He was just so selfish…

He let himself be led back inside, not noticing Aya ushering a worried looking Youji out of the living room as Ken sat him down on the sofa. He had made up his mind to tell Ken everything. He didn't want to think about how Ken would react, how the handsome boy would realise what a terrible friend he was and probably be angry and hurt - he just couldn't bear to be dishonest any longer.

He tried to calm down and stop crying so he could talk, but every time he thought about the prospect of Ken hating him, of them not being friends, never spending any time together, more tears seemed to come…

"Omi please don't cry!" Ken told him quietly. "Whatever it is, I'll help you, we can sort it out together, that's why it's all ok…"

"You don't understand!" Omi sobbed, looking up at Ken but unable to hold his gaze. "It's…you won't want to sort it out, you won't want…together…when you know…you might even hate me…"

Ken looked confused, and frowned.

"I don't understand, what could possibly make me hate you? There's nothing like that."

"There is! Ken, I've been so terrible, I've done such bad things to you, I can't help it but I wish I could 'cause I should never have…"

"Have what? Omi you've never done anything bad to me! I know you'd…you'd die a thousand times before you hurt me…"

"Yes, yes I would!" Omi cried, nodding frantically. "But there's things, you have no idea about…"

"Omi listen to me. It doesn't matter what there is, you're not terrible, you're the best person I've ever met! It makes no difference what I don't know, I DO know that's true."

"You have too much faith in me," Omi said weakly. "I…Ken I don't even deserve to be your friend when…when I want you more…"

Ken stared at him.

"I kissed you! I went into your room when you were asleep, I do it all the time, I just wanted to see you, but I touched you, I-I kissed you, I wanted you so much and I thought it would be ok if I did anything I wanted, I was being so selfish, I'm so sorry, I can't believe, I took advantage, I…I kissed you…" Omi took a deep breath, too scared to look at Ken, who was still silent. "So, you see…I really am a bad person after all… I'm sorry. I think that you thought it was a dream, you thought it was an angel that loved you…but it was just me."

"I knew it was you," Ken said eventually, after they'd sat through a painful silence during which Omi had wondered if Ken was ever even going to speak to him again. He gasped.

"You did know?"

"I didn't know…Aya tried to tell me, give me a clue if I wanted it…I didn't know…that it was REALLY you."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I…I didn't know it was any different…I dream about you all the time, Omi, I think every night!"

Omi stared at Ken in shock, but now it was Ken avoiding HIS eyes, blushing hotly.

"You said…you said I had too much faith in you," he said quietly. "But maybe you had too little in me, I…even if…I wouldn't have minded how you felt about me, even if I didn't feel the same."

"Even if…" Omi echoed faintly.

"But I do!" Ken cried suddenly, turning to him with wide eyes. "Did you mean it, that you felt that way about me, because I…"

Omi had thrown himself at Ken and wrapped his arms tightly around his waist, nodding against his chest, not feeling shy or embarrassed because he couldn't really believe what was happening. Ken seemed equally as stunned and stroked his hair slowly, talking quietly to him in a somewhat dazed voice.

"And when you said you wanted to be with me forever and "I love you" I thought you must be an angel because you were so beautiful, and I felt so safe, and so loved, and like I was in heaven, but…but it wasn't right, because angels aren't like you, you're much more beautiful, and kind, and caring, and much more perfect. And when you kissed me, I thought it was an angel, because I didn't think it could be you…"

"I shouldn't have kissed you," Omi muttered, lifting his head to gaze up at Ken. "I…is this really happening? I still shouldn't have kissed you. Not without you wanting to, it should be given, too precious to take like I did…"

"I would have given it to you."

Omi sat up and smiled at him, holding on to Ken's hand while Ken's other arm was still around his shoulders.

"I know, but…"

"I never wanted anyone else to have my kisses… They're all yours…angel."

He grinned, and Omi grinned back, liking his new name.

"Y-you can have one now, if you like," Ken said hopefully, taking his arm from around Omi and touching his face gently.

Omi leaned forward until both were nervous and trembling at how close they were.

"Please," he breathed.

It had only been a few hours since he'd last kissed Ken, but he seemed to have forgotten how soft the older boy's lips were, how sweet he tasted, how right his mouth felt pressed against his own, how it somehow tingled slightly…

"I was going to stay with you forever anyway," Ken whispered against Omi's mouth. "I'm never letting you go.."

Omi shook his head.

"Never."

"I love you too much."

"I'll never stop loving you."

"I just love you.."

"I'll never stop kissing you while you're asleep.."

"And while we're both awake…"

Ken brushed his lips over Omi's again, his warm hands running up and down his back. Omi moaned quietly and wrapped his arms around Ken's neck, opening his mouth willingly for the dark haired boy.

"You know what else there is about angels, angel?" Ken said a bit later.

"What's that?"

"They're much worse at kissing than you are."

Omi giggled.

"And how many angels have you kissed?!" he asked indignantly.

"Just one. But he was only pretending."

"Pretending?"

"Yeah. Wanna know how I knew?"

"How?"

"He was a great kisser."

~OWARI~