Jess set ingredients out on the counter, cracking eggs and measuring sugar. Baking helped clear her head, and clarity was something she was desperately craving. She needed to decide what to wear, she needed to talk to Cece, and...she needed to ask her "date" to help her chaperone the prom. She wasn't sure how she let Peg talk her into chaperoning anyway, but she couldn't resist when her friend begged, explaining that no one wanted to volunteer near the end of the year and that it would look very, very good if Jess wanted to apply for an opening.
She cursed Sam's job in her head as she stirred batter vigorously. Yes, it was heartwarming to see him with the little children, but it meant he worked a lot of nights, and he couldn't always just trade shifts when she really needed him. And tomorrow night, she needed him. Needed her amazing pediatrician boyfriend to dress up and take her to the prom. Because now that he couldn't go, he'd suggested she ask Nick instead, and the thought of Nick taking her to the prom conjured up memories that made her flush with heat. But she couldn't very well let on that there would be anything weird about asking Nick, so...she thinks she did a good job covering it up during her conversation with Sam.
**flashback to lunch in a diner**
"Jess, I have to work. We're shorthanded right now anyway; Dr Wells is in Hawaii. If I could get out of it, I would."
Jess pushed her fork through her salad, biting her lip. "I could ask Winston...but he works nights, too, and he's been spending most of his time at Daisy's. And I'm afraid he'd try to prank someone. He always goes overboard. Schmidt's on a business trip." She sighed. "Maybe I'll just tell Peg I can't bring anyone to help after all..."
"Hey, you should ask Nick. He can switch a shift around if he needs to."
Jess started choking on a piece of lettuce, panicked, and knocked over her water. Sam tossed some napkins on it and became alarmed as she continued to cough, getting out of the booth to pat her back. "Babe? Are you okay?"
Once she'd recovered enough to swallow, she smiled and gave a nervous laugh, feeling herself blush furiously. "Nick! Sure! Why didn't I think of that?" She gave him two thumbs up and willed herself to stop talking, as he looked at her curiously. "Coolio!" Stop. Stop talking. Put your thumbs down. Act normal. "Best friends go to the prom all the time," she said in a sing-song voice, fading at the end.
Sam shook his head, put money on the table, and stood, bending to kiss her cheek. "You're so weird. It's a good thing you're adorable."
**end flashback**
Jess groaned internally as she put the cupcakes in the oven. Maybe I could have handled that better. The problem was, things between she and Nick had been awkward ever since that night in the hallway. The way he'd kissed her, pulled her to him - the electricity and passion between them was something she couldn't stop thinking about. At all. They'd always had a little sexual tension, but now that she knew how Nick Miller would kiss her, instead of just randomly wondering about it...the thought filled her head at inopportune times, with desire coursing through her body as she imagined what other things with Nick might be like as well.
Her imagination was even worse when she was in the same room as him, staring at him pour himself a bowl of cheerios or watch television. It's really not normal to see your roommate eating breakfast and imagine yourself shoving his cereal aside and climbing into his lap, right?. She couldn't even hear anything other than her own thoughts, so when his benign questions like "How's your morning going?" interrupted her daydreams, she found herself answering with nonsensical statements about how she needed to get a new toothbrush or make her bed, and then bolting from the room.
Given her unusual behavior around him lately, it was going to make it even harder to ask him to help her. She'd gone out of her way to make sure they weren't alone. But she didn't want to give Sam any indication that things had happened between them. Or that she couldn't stop thinking about him. Sam was amazing, and a doctor, and what she thought she had always wanted, so she was just going to have to get over this attraction she was feeling to Nick and act normally. Who did he think he was, anyway, just grabbing her like that and putting all these thoughts in her head? You can't just do that to people. She reminded herself that Nick started this, not her - her constant self-justification for why she didn't need to tell Sam about anything. Still, the fact that she fantasized only about Nick now was unsettling.
The timer went off for her cupcakes and Jess realized she'd been lost in thought for awhile. She pulled them out to cool and retrieved the frosting she'd made earlier from the refrigerator, setting it out to warm to room temperature. Then she called Cece, hoping she'd give her some good advice.
"You told him you'd chaperone with Nick? Are you sure that's a great idea?"
"I don't have any choice, Cece. I don't want Sam to know. Plus, I have to get over it and get back to normal. I can't avoid Nick forever or never be alone with him again. This will be a good test for me. Will you please help me pick out a dress to wear?"
"I don't think this ends well, Jess, but if you're sure... I'd love to help you find something but I'm going to be out of town for work this weekend. I'll lay some things of mine out, though, if you want to come over and go through them."
Jess groaned. "Okay. Thanks Cece."
"Hey, Jess? I think you need to be prepared for what might happen if you don't pass this test for yourself. You two are roommates and good friends, and there's Sam to think about too. And Nick's been into you forever. So think about what you really want and don't lead him on."
Jess swallowed hard. "You're right. Thanks for loaning me something, Cece." She went back to her cupcakes, now cool and ready for frosting, and spent the afternoon decorating, daydreaming and thinking things over.
It was late when Nick finally got home from his shift at the bar. Lately he'd been working extra hours, trying to be out of the loft and keep his mind on other things. Things beside his gorgeous roommate and the night during which he recently lost his self-control and apparently his mind. Oh, and the fact that she was still with her doctor boyfriend. He was starting to worry that he'd really ruined their friendship because she'd been acting so oddly since then. She was almost never alone with him, but this morning in the kitchen when he asked her if she wanted any toast, she'd startled, mumbled something about needing to turn her mattress, and made a beeline for her room.
So Nick was very surprised to see Jess still awake, and sitting at the dining room table. Watching him.
"Hi, Nicholas."
He pulled a beer from the fridge, cracked it open, and took a drink. "Hey, Jess." He wandered over to the table and leaned against a chair. Spread in front of Jess across the table were cupcakes...pink frosted with white lettering. "Will you go to prom with me?" He took another long drink and let the beer linger in his throat a moment. "What, is Sam around here somewhere tonight?"
Jess made herself snap out of it. Damn him and beer gargling. She shook her head slightly. "Um, no. He's working. He's working tomorrow, too. These are...these are actually for you."
Nick pulled a chair out and sat down on the other side of the table, keeping a safe distance from her. "Prom?"
"Yeah. I'm chaperoning. Tomorrow night. But, you'd be doing me a huge favor. It will be fun! We could get all dressed up, and..."
"Jess. I don't think that's a great idea." He focused on the label of his beer and begin picking at a corner, peeling it up.
"Please, Nick?" She heard her voice crack. "I really need to work with children again. This would look so good. I told Peg I'd be there with a date to help."
Nick ran a frustrated hand through his hair and clenched his fist around his bottle. "So take your boyfriend, Jess."
"I told you, he's working." Jess felt her eyes welling up. It had been a long, confusing day for her, and her emotions were stretched. She'd been sure the cupcakes would work. "I need your help, Nick. I thought I could count on you. I used to be able to, before..." She stopped, unwilling to go there, and pushed her chair back. She just wanted to be in her room, away from his presence and stubble and intensity that was overwhelming her.
She rounded the table, swiping at her eyes and angry with herself for even suggesting it.
Nick grasped at his face with his palm. He was pissed off at the situation, and at himself for making things weird with her. She was right. It was selfish of him to lose control like that, especially when she had a boyfriend. He just hadn't been able to help it (and she kissed back, he reminded himself for the thousandth time). But still...now she was crying, and it was his fault, because if he'd just been able to continue pining away for her secretly, it wouldn't be a big deal. Not for her, anyway. He hated it when she cried. And he felt guilty. The least he could do was help her out and take her to the damn prom.
"Jess, wait. Wait." She kept going, so he pushed back from his chair and jogged after her, finally catching her by the arm in the hallway and spinning her around.
The similarity to that night hit them both hard. Her breathing caught in anticipation and she froze, searching his face for a sign that he was going to kiss her again. His gaze moved between her lips and eyes, as he fought internally with himself for control. It felt like forever before he let go of her arm, suddenly, willing himself not to fuck things up with her any further, and finally he spoke in a low, gravelly voice, just like he had the last time they were this close in the hallway. "I'm sorry, Jess. I'm sorry I made things so weird between us. You're too important to me, and I shouldn't have crossed the line. Not while you have a boyfriend." He felt dizzy with desire for her, inches from him, and he closed his eyes for a second, placing a steadying hand against the wall as visions of her body pressed against his flashed through his mind. "I'll take you to the prom." Then he entered his room, needing to put distance between them.
Jess leaned against the wall, trying to catch her breath. She felt disappointment course through her and she hated herself for it - for thrilling at his touch and the possibility that he might kiss her again. Cece was right...she needed to think.
Idly, she noted that he left his door ajar, unlike last time. She crossed the living room, collected one of the untouched cupcakes from the table, and returned, reaching just far enough into his room to place it on the shelf inside his door. "Thank you, Nick," he heard, and then he heard her own door close gently.
When he was finally able to pull himself off of his bed to go for another beer, he stopped at the cupcake she'd left him, peeling it. Her cupcakes were always delicious and this one was no exception. Lemon, with tangy frosting. He wondered all the way to the kitchen if there was any meaning behind her leaving him the one with the question mark frosted on it.
Jess tosses and turns for the next hour. She can't sleep. Can't stop thinking about him. Finally, she takes some deep breaths and picks up her phone.
Nick spends a little time looking through his closet, but he knows he doesn't have anything appropriate to wear. He decides to call Schmidt the next day. He'll delight in providing advice about what to wear.
He lays in bed for awhile, but every time he closes his eyes, he sees her, smells her, feels her. She's invaded his mind. Desperate to clear it, he gets up for a glass of water and another cupcake. He eats it standing at the sink, then tosses the wrapper and turns out the lights in the loft. Winston must be at Daisy's again.
When he gets back to his room, he sees a soft glow from under her door and hears her crying. He considers knocking, but it doesn't feel right, so he just goes back to bed, leaving his door open so she'll know he's there if she needs him.
Jess wakes in the late morning. She'd been exhausted from the night before, from crying and from all the soul searching she'd done. She feels good, though. Renewed. By the time she finally fell asleep, she slept hard.
She dresses quickly and spends a little time in the bathroom. The loft is empty, so she leaves Nick a note on the table, where she notices several more cupcakes are now missing. This makes her smile.
Nick,
Meet me for pre-prom dinner at six? Hot dog stand.
Thanks again -
J
Then she collects her makeup and shoes and heads for Cece's to choose something to wear, deciding to get ready there.
Nick runs for a long time, trying hard to clear his head. He gets back to the loft afterwards and finds it empty, noticing Jess's note and immediately knowing exactly which hot dog stand she's talking about. It's his favorite, near where he met Tran, and he's taken her there a few times in the last couple months. They always take their food to a park bench and people watch, making up stories about the people they see walking by. That's what they did before he ruined the dynamic between them, anyway. He showers and focuses on letting the water ease the tension from his body. After a long time, he gets out, wraps a towel around his waist, and calls Schmidt for some clothing advice.
Schmidt immediately overreacts, telling Nick he's been waiting for years for him to ask for help, chastising him for waiting until the last minute so Schmidt doesn't have time to come home and dress him. When Nick assures him it's not necessary and he can probably find something in his own closet, Schmidt panics and offers Nick his worst suit, giving him specific directions on where to find it in his room. He's pretty sure it's too big for him now anyway, and at least Nick will look better than he would in anything else he'd choose on his own.
Nick dresses and admires himself in the mirror. Schmidt may be ridiculous about a lot of things, but the suit looks good. He glances at the clock and realizes it's time to go meet her. He steels himself to be pleasant but platonic, to ignore how good she'll surely look, and to remember that she has Sam. He knows she'd never have asked him unless she was desperate, and he doesn't want to make life any harder for her than he already has lately. He's just going to do her this favor, then come back home, and spend the rest of the night in his room recovering.
Jess takes a deep breath before leaving Cece's apartment. She's not sure if she's made the right decision. She thinks so, though. Cece'd left some of her most modest dresses (not that they were too terribly modest) spread out on her bed. Pink, purple, soft and flowy dresses that she'd never even seen Cece wear. They looked like Jess dresses. But she'd left a single dress by itself with a note on it that said, "In case you change your mind."
This was the dress. It wasn't so revealing that she'd get kicked out of the prom, but it was black and lacy and hugged her figure. She had a feeling it would get the attention she was looking for. She and Cece could share dresses but not shoes, so she'd brought some strappy black heels of her own. She put everything on and did her makeup quickly, with a slightly smoky eye. She piled her hair on top of her head in a mass of loosely arranged curls and appraised herself in the mirror, deciding this was as good as it was going to get.
Jess wished she could have a drink to calm her nerves, but obviously not before going to the school. A thought occurred to her and she panicked, fishing her phone out of her purse and sending a text.
No alcohol! You know that, right? No alcohol before chaperoning.
A few minutes later, she got a response.
Yeah, sure. Of course.
A few miles away, Nick poured the beer he'd just opened down the drain. Prom. Jesus. What am I doing?
Nick showed up at the hot dog stand early and still found her already there, sitting on the bench (their bench?) sipping a lemonade. In a hot dress. Why was she fucking with him? Why would she wear this? She spotted him and patted the bench. He sucked in some air and headed her direction, muttering "This is my nightmare."
Jess handed him a hot dog and a napkin and set a lemonade on the bench between them. "You look amazing, Nick. Thanks for coming."
Nick nodded, taking a bite of his hot dog and not meeting her eyes. "Yeah, Jess. I said I would."
They ate in silence for a bit, and Jess pointed out a young couple walking by. The girl had blue hair and the boy had a spiky green mohawk. "Hey, Nick, do you think they dyed their hair like that after they met, as like a couple thing, or if they started talking to each other because of their shared interest in brightly colored hair?" She laughed, but he barely glanced at the kids. "Nick?" Suddenly, she grabbed his hand, and he looked at her in surprise. "Thanks for making eye contact there, pal. Are you okay? Talk to me."
Nick hated himself for not being able to pull his hand away from hers, but her fingers were cool and comforting. He didn't know what changed with her from yesterday, but she was smiling and bubbly - the normal Jess he hadn't seen much of lately. Maybe she was just grateful he was doing her this favor. "I don't want things to be weird between us. But...this is hard for me, Jess."
Jess squeezed his hand beneath hers, and then stood up, letting go. She tossed her garbage in the trash and turned around slowly in front of him. "What do you think of my dress, Miller? You haven't said anything."
Nick looked her in the eyes and held her gaze. "You know you look fantastic, Jess." She curtsied and he laughed, dropping his gaze and rubbing his hand over the back of his neck. She seemed so relaxed, and it was making him feel more at ease. He'd expected things to be awkward, but maybe if he just loosened up a little, it might not be so bad. For one night, he needed to pretend nothing had happened between them. He stood up, offering her his arm. "Let's do this."
The prom theme was Under the Stars, and it was held in the gym of the high school. The students had covered the windows with black butcher paper and decorated with twinkling lights and silvery dangling moons and stars. A science teacher had volunteered the telescopes as long as adult supervision would be provided, so Jess and Nick were assigned to a darkened classroom right off the gym, to make sure no one would use the room to fool around in or destroy school property. The windows were large and the night was clear. Jess pointed out the glittery signs advertising the telescopes. "I bet we get a lot of students coming in here to check out the stars."
"I bet not, Jess. That's not really what high school students come to prom to do. Pretty sure they just want to dance and feel each other up."
Jess hopped up to sit on the counter by the windows. "I disagree, Nick. I'm sure there are plenty of students who would find looking at the stars together very romantic."
As it turned out, Nick was correct, and they had a few students come through to look at the stars, but not many. They could hear the music clearly, pounding from the gym, so the romance of stargazing might have been tempered a little. After a couple hours of sitting in mostly uninterrupted and mostly comfortable silence with Nick, Jess decided to take a look at the stars herself, hoping to convince Nick that their task was important and interesting. She tried to adjust the telescope, but became frustrated quickly. "I can't even see out of this. No wonder the kids just want to dance."
Nick sighed and slid off the counter, walking behind Jess and reaching around her to find the knob to focus the telescope. "You have to adjust it, Jess. Pick a point and focus. It doesn't matter, though. You don't need a telescope to look at the stars. I've been watching shooting stars here all night."
Jess was suddenly very aware of how close Nick was to her and she felt his breath on her neck as he demonstrated. She felt her body heat up. "Shooting stars? I didn't know you were paying attention to the sky."
She turned around to face him, and when Nick realized how close she was, he held his breath and took a step back. He thought he caught a look of disappointment on her face, but he just hopped back up on the edge of the counter. He needed to be careful about how close he was to her.
"Yeah, my dad got me a telescope when I was a kid. I used to love looking at the sky. He was gone a lot. I'll never forget, the birthday when he gave me the telescope, he told me that no matter where he was, we were under the same stars."
"That's pretty sweet." Jess leaned against the counter next to her telescope.
Nick laughed ruefully. "Nah, he's just smooth. Made him feel less guilty about being gone, maybe. He probably stole the telescope or won it in some poker game. Still, when I was a kid, I did love astronomy. I guess that's something. Shooting stars always felt special to me. Like if pieces of comets could just break off in space, burning up through our atmosphere, and we could see it from here just with our eyes as this momentary streak of light that we just happened to be watching for at the right time...it just feels like, anything could happen."
Jess' heart swelled for Nick, for the father issues he had and the trust he had in her to share something so personal, especially knowing how different things had been between them lately. He really was a little broken. But he was also here with her, despite clearly not wanting to be, making the best of the situation. For her. He was always there for her when she needed him, even if she didn't know she needed him. Seeing him stare out the window watching for something to happen at just the right time by chance, she knew she'd made the right decision.
Out in the gym, she could hear the DJ announce the last song and start playing something slow. She walked over to where Nick sat on the counter and before he could react, she'd stepped between his legs and put one of her hands on his, leaning in to whisper in his ear with a smile. "Dance with me, Miller."
Nick slid his hand out from under hers. She smelled amazing and what was she thinking, whispering in his ear like that? The tickle of her breath made his chest tighten and he cleared his throat before he could speak. "Jess...you have a boyfriend. It's not a good idea."
She moved her hand to his leg and shook her head slightly, her smile dropping but her voice strong. "Not anymore. I talked to him last night." Nick froze and reminded himself to breath, recalling hearing her tears through her door the previous night and her inexplicable calmness around him today. "I told him about what happened. He said he didn't blame me, but I told him...I told him I think there might be something here between us and that I needed to figure it out." She locked eyes with him and put her other hand on his chest, where she could feel his heart pounding. "You're such a big part of my life...I don't know if I can risk losing you. But I do know I can't stop thinking about you, Nick." Her hands found his and she pulled him off the counter. "So...dance with me?"
His placed his hands on her waist, and his fingers gripped her tightly, his eyes exploring her face. He hadn't spoken since she'd asked him to dance, but he was looking at her with such intensity, she felt her cheeks burning as she wrapped her arms around his neck and they started to sway together. He pulled her close to him, feeling her curves through her lacy dress, and slid a hand up her back to press her more tightly to him. His other hand found her cheek and he cupped it gently, tracing his thumb lightly across her skin. "Jessica." His voice was gravelly, and he pressed a kiss to her forehead, then down to her cheekbone, and he backed her into the counter as he finally covered her mouth with his in a kiss just as passionate and powerful as their first. The electricity between them was instantaneous. Her lips parted and she moaned lightly as his tongue explored her mouth and his teeth grazed her lower lip. Hands were everywhere as they struggled to get as close as possible to each other.
The lights flicked on and Peg sucked in some air as she discovered her chaperones making out next to the telescopes. Nick stepped back slightly, but didn't let go of Jess, who flushed even further and cleared her throat. "Peg! Hi! Um, time to clean up?"
Peg laughed. "Don't worry about it. Thanks for your help tonight, Jess. You two should go home." They could hear her laughing as she walked off down the hallway, and it was infectious, because Nick chuckled and Jess began to giggle uncontrollably.
"We're bad chaperones, Jess." He reached for her hand again and felt a rush of warmth as she locked fingers with him. "And...hey. Did it not occur to you to give me some pretty important information earlier? A heads-up would have been nice, Miss Day. I did my best to keep a respectful distance all night, and it wasn't easy with you in this dress."
She stared at him with the impossibly large blue eyes he couldn't resist and gave him an indignant look. "I was figuring things out! Besides, I wasn't withholding. You didn't ask."
Nick rolled his eyes, "Oh, yeah, because I should have known to ask you...Never mind. I don't even care. I'm just glad." He pulled her to him again and kissed her, tenderly at first, with a deepening sense of urgency as her hands curled into his shirt and she whimpered against his lips. "Car. Now."