Si vis amari, ama
Fewthistle
Title: Roughly translated... "If you wish to be loved, love."
Author's Note: Well, I seem to be well and truly addicted to Elsanna. I suppose there are worse things. This one is a modern AU, non-incest. I'm working on a longer piece, an extension of my "These Fragments I Have Shored Against My Ruins", that is movie-verse and well, dark and harrowing. But for now, something light and fluffy. Hope you like.
Few
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Anna Snowden sank down into the worn, musty smelling chair. The theater had most definitely seen better days. Vaudeville days, from the look of the faded, moth-eaten curtains that hid God knows what growing on the theater walls. The pervasive odor of mildew and unfulfilled dreams hung in the air, seeping into clothes and hair. Crappy theaters rarely promise less than crappy plays. Anna couldn't believe that she had let Elsa talk her into coming here tonight.
Only the comfortably familiar feeling of the warm arm next to hers on the cracked armrest made the experience tolerable. Well, maybe not quite comfortable. The firm pressure of that arm, the thin layer of linen and silk that separated skin from skin, the faint crisp scent of citrus and flowers that overcame the mildew, all made for less than comfortable. Familiar, distracting, definitely, but not comfortable. Still, it was a discomfort that Anna could get used to feeling.
She turned her head to stare for a moment, unobserved, at her companion, her friend. Elsa's profile was pretty close to perfect. Straight, classical lines, platinum hair laying in a thick braid over her shoulder, those crystal blue eyes, that even now turned to meet her own, tolerant amusement bringing a mischievous twinkle to their azure depths. Anna found herself smiling back, her lack of enthusiasm for this little jaunt to off, off, off-Broadway increased by the teasing grin that lit Elsa's face.
"Come on, Anna. Art for art's sake, remember? After all, the tickets were free, and we are here supporting a colleague. I mean, how bad can it be?" Elsa asked, nudging Anna's arm with her own, teeth white against full lips as she grinned encouragingly at Anna .
"A former colleague who spent three years in law school, then toiled for five years, only to give up a job with the District Attorney's office to be a struggling actor. And I have a feeling that it can be plenty bad. Only really bad could afford this place," Anna replied disparagingly, pushing back at Elsa's arm, enjoying the unassuming intimacy of the gesture.
"If I promise you a prize when it's over, will you stop wrinkling your nose up like that and open your mind to the possibilities?" Elsa asked, despite the fact that she found Anna's expression rather adorable.
"What kind of prize?" Anna demanded suspiciously.
"Ice cream?" Elsa laughed, her shoulder now matching the pressure of her arm as she leaned toward Anna. "Shoes? Jewelry? Wine? Women? Song?"
"Women?" Anna queried coyly, one eyebrow raised, teal eyes narrowed in curiosity at her friend's seemingly unintentional slip. Or was it? Anna had never been one for the "softer side of Sears" as Elsa put it, but the past month or so she had found herself increasingly aware of her friend, of the subtle weave of her perfume, of the thick fall of platinum hair and brilliant blue eyes, of the softness of her body when they hugged goodbye.
Elsa blushed slightly, a rueful smile touching the corners of her lips. "You know what I meant, Anna . Just be good and watch the play, all right and I'll buy you as many appletinis as you can swallow."
Anna opened her mouth to reply just as the house lights flickered and went down. The frayed red curtains slid open and the time for conversation ended. Anna forced herself to focus on the play, on the words the actors flung out into the stale air, and not on the warmth of the arm next to hers and the woman sitting so close beside her.
Several times during the show, Anna reached over to grasp Elsa's arm, on the surface merely drawing her attention to a particular line that she found amusing, but in truth, enjoying the feel of the slender appendage under her hand, the flex of muscles, the heat beneath Elsa's silk shirt. About halfway through the play, Anna simply left her hand there, fingers curled gently around Elsa's forearm. Anna noticed that Elsa glanced at her a few times, her gaze speculative, but she made no effort to move her arm from Anna's grasp, and indeed, once or twice touched Anna's hand lightly with her own at particularly funny moments.
The thought occurred to Anna that all she would have to do would be to slip her hand down a few inches and she could feel the softness of skin and the gentle embrace of Elsa's fingers around her own. Anna shoved the idea far back in her mind, shaking her head in amazement at its very existence. What had happened in the last month to bring her to this stage? She didn't know, but she left her hand where it lay.
An hour and a half later and the two emerged into the crisp November night, their laughter echoing off the solid brick of the surrounding buildings. The play had actually been amazingly good. Even Anna had admitted, wiping away a stray, humor provoked tear, that she was pleasantly surprised.
Instead of hailing a cab, they began to walk past closed storefronts, stopping to stare into display windows already festooned with Christmas decorations, the green and reds long faded by the sunlight of too many winter days. Without conscious decision, Anna slipped her arm through Elsa's, drawing her friend's body close to her side as they strolled casually toward the intersection and the waiting taxis.
"Admit it, Anna, you had a good time tonight," Elsa teased, her eyes dark sapphire in the limited glow of the streetlights.
"I was with you. How could it not be good?" Anna replied softly, almost caressingly, the words leaving her lips before her brain had fully processed the implications.
Elsa was silent as Anna's words hung, suspended with her frosty breath in the air between them. She stopped, her arm loosening but not pulling away from Anna's, turning them both so that they were facing each other in the shadowed expanse of half-light. Her expression was uncertain, brows furrowed a bit, the inside of her bottom lip caught between straight white teeth.
Anna held her breath as Elsa stared intently. She thought of laughing it off, of pretending she had not meant what she had so clearly meant, but the cautious hesitancy in Elsa's face made her hold her tongue.
"Anna, what's going on?" Elsa asked, her voice so quiet that Anna instinctively stepped closer to hear her, closing the already narrow distance between them. Anna paused, her first instinct to feign ignorance, the second to flee. Neither was a real option though, not if she wanted to keep whatever this was. Friendship, relationship, regardless of what she called it, it was important to her. Important enough to answer the question.
"Honestly, I'm not sure," Anna answered, sliding her arm free, her hand just catching Elsa's as it fell to her side. She tried to keep her tone light, but her voice was weighed down by the tension that gripped the muscles in her throat. She rubbed her bare thumb across the back of Elsa's gloved hand, feeling the cold leather against the pad of her finger. Anna knew that any move must be hers to make. Elsa would never presume, never do anything to make Anna uncomfortable. The ball was definitely in her court. "I'm finding that my brain has a mind of its own, or some part of my body does, anyway."
"Does this part of your body have any specific ideas, or is this just post-adolescent longing for forbidden fruit?" Elsa asked, her face inscrutable.
"I deserved that, I guess," Anna said softly, "I'm just trying to be honest with you, Elsa. Clearly, something's changed in the way I see you and I'm not sure what to do about it."
"What if I told you to forget it, Anna, just to let it go, that nothing is different?"
"Are you telling me that?" Anna asked, her stomach clenching as she voiced the words.
"Elsa?"
Something in Elsa's face, in her silence, pulled Anna toward her until there were mere centimeters separating them. Anna could smell the soft fresh scent of Elsa's perfume, and feel the warmth emanating from her body as she reached out, tentatively, and slid her hand under the edge of Elsa's coat, feeling the smooth silk of her shirt against her bare palm.
"Elsa?" Anna asked again, the name expelled with her breath, soft and husky. Her gaze focused instinctively on the curve of Elsa's lips, the minute dimple on each side of her mouth that Anna realized, with a flash of insight, that she had been longing to kiss, to savor.
Elsa's icy blue eyes finally met her own, shadowed to nearly black by the darkness of the street and the hundred different emotions flitting through them. Anna waited for her to speak. The din of the city, the traffic, the car horns, the sounds of lives being lived, all faded to white noise, unimportant, blocking out the rest of the world.
"What do you think that you want, Anna ?" Elsa asked seriously, her enunciation even more precise than usual.
"Right now? Right now, I want to kiss you," Anna answered simply, the honesty clear in her face.
"And after that?" Elsa's voice gave no hint of emotion; she might well have been in court.
Anna stopped the flippant remark that nearly tripped off her tongue. Now was not the moment for facetiousness. Cautiously, she reached out and slid her other arm under Elsa's coat, her hand flitting along smooth silk to join its companion in the small of Elsa's back. Tugging gently, she drew the slender body toward her until Anna could feel the press of hips and breasts against her own.
"After that, I'm fairly certain that I'd like to try to love you," Anna whispered gently, the truth of the statement resonating inside her mind. She and Elsa fit somehow. It wasn't background, or jobs, or taste in wine. It just was, the same way that Anna had felt the perfect meshing of their bodies as she drew Elsa to her.
With a soul-deep sigh, Elsa's head fell forward, her forehead coming to rest against the front of Anna's shoulder. Her hair covered her face, hiding her expression. For long minutes the only sound that reached Anna's ears was the soft sound of Elsa's breathing. The fact that she hadn't pulled away gave Anna hope, and she inclined her head to rest her cheek against Elsa's hair, inhaling the subtle scent of chamomile and lemon.
Slowly, Elsa's hands rose from her sides to glide up Anna's side, slipping to fasten securely around her waist. She lifted her head and even in the faint light, Anna could see from her expression that some decision had been reached.
"I do get to try the kiss out first, don't I, just to make sure that I like it, before I make any future commitments?" Elsa replied after a moment, tilting her head sideways a bit so that Anna could see the teasing grin just gracing full lips.
"I've never had any complaints in the past," Anna told her haughtily, her own mouth intentionally untouched by the smile that lit her green eyes.
"You've never kissed me," Elsa stated mischievously. "I'm very picky when it comes to kissing. After all, kissing is an art, Anna."
"Try me," Anna challenged, tightening her arms around Elsa and pulling her body even more firmly against her own.
"Ars gratia artis , eh, Anna ?" Elsa laughed, one gloved hand reaching up to gently cup Anna's face.
Tilting her head forward, Anna captured Elsa's lips with her own. This was no chaste, gentle first kiss. Anna's senses were overwhelmed, the scent of perfume, the taste of lipstick, the smooth, silken texture of Elsa's lips, slick and warm and almost unbearably soft. She instinctively increased the pressure of her lips, encouraged by the muffled moan that slipped from Elsa's throat, needing to reassure herself of the existence of those delightfully yielding lips beneath her own.
Anna pulled back a little, her eyes dropping to Elsa's mouth. Inclining her head again, Anna gently traced the outline of Elsa's mouth with the tip of her tongue, dipping finally into those delectable dimples at the edges of her lips. At that touch, Elsa's fingers, which had slipped into Anna's hair, tightened convulsively, as a soft whimper caressed Anna's ears.
Pulling back fully, Anna watched as Elsa's eyes, somewhat unfocused, slowly opened. Her expression was pleasantly bemused.
"Actually, si vis amari, ama," Anna whispered leaning her forehead against Elsa's, "If you wish to be loved, love. Come home with me?"
"Assuming you passed the kissing test, huh?"
"Considering the sounds you were making, it seemed safe," Anna laughed, reaching down to take Elsa's hand tightly in her own and drawing her forward as they began walking slowly down the street. "Do you make any other noises?"
"You'll have to wait and find out, Counselor," Elsa tantalized, "After all, I did promise you a prize for sitting through the play. I just didn't know at the time it was going to be me."
THE END