I finished signing the papers on my desk in a flourish. I pushed my chair back and stood up, taking a hold of the papers to file them away.
I was finally finished for the day. It was 8:38pm. I had a few hours to myself before I should get to bed. I walked out of my study, after tidying my desk. As I closed the door, my fiancé, Will, walked up the hallway.
He stopped when he saw me. 'Anything wrong?' I asked him.
He shook his head. 'No. It's just that Olaf was looking for you.'
'Where is he?' I asked.
We started walking. Will started telling me where Olaf was. 'He was by the-' he said, before I interrupted.
We were going past Anna's room. 'Hold it,' I whispered. 'Anna's crying.'
I pushed Will back, so that I could knock on Anna's door. 'Anna?' I called. No response. More crying. 'Anna, open up. It's me, Elsa.'
Her door was locked; I couldn't get in. 'Anna!'
'Go away,' she sniffed.
'Why? What's wrong?' I asked.
'Go. Away. Elsa,' she said, more forcefully.
'Hey, what's the matter?' I asked. I couldn't do what she was asking; I had to show her that I cared.
I heard the click of the lock, and then she said, 'Will can't come in, OK?'
I looked back at Will, who shrugged. 'I'll go find Olaf, or see to Sven.' He left us.
'Will's gone, Anna. Can I come in now?'
The door opened slightly, and I took this as my cue to enter.
Anna faced away from me and sat at the desk. She turned back to me silently.
'What is it, Anna?' I asked, going to sit on her bed.
She handed me a piece of paper. I looked at it, seeing her scratchy, rushed handwriting. The edges of the sheet were wet with what I assumed to be her tears.
I looked up at her and she looked at me. 'Read it,' she said.
So I read what she had written. It was a letter – to Kristoff. Her dead fiancé. I suddenly didn't want to read on.
But I did it anyway. I promised her I would. She told him all about us: about me and Will, about Olaf, about Sven. There was one paragraph, however, that caught my attention. I read it over and over.
Gosh, I'm crying. I really need lessons from Olaf on how to stay optimistic. Elsa used to think that she was the depressed one. Now she's happy, she's got a bright future ahead of her. I'm not. I think I need to come and join you. Will you let me do that? Will you wait for me until I find you? I hope you will. I can't live like this anymore. I just want Elsa to turn around and tell me to leave like she did at her coronation. This time I'll listen to her; not ask her what she's afraid of. I'll leave - and I'll leave for good.
Anna… Anna said she wanted to commit suicide. Well, she hinted at it anyway.
I looked up at her. 'Anna,' I whispered.
She didn't smile. She didn't look at me. 'Elsa,' she started saying. I gave her the letter back, and she put it on her desk. 'I miss him. I miss him so much. I need him back.
'I can't go on without him. I look at you and Will, and I just… I just want to die; to be with Kristoff again. I…' Her hands flew to her head; she ran them through her messy hair. 'I just can't stress exactly how much I'm missing him.'
I sighed. 'Anna…'
She interrupted me, much like how I interrupted Will earlier. She stood up and faced me. The pain had supposedly been turned into anger. 'No, Elsa. You can't expect to console me and get me to be over him. It doesn't work like that. I will always miss Kristoff. Just because it's been five years doesn't mean I'm going to wake up and say that I'm over him. I will never be over him, and I know you won't ever realize my pain, but what you can do is stop consoling me. I'm sick of it.'
I stared at her, stunned. I was speechless. I seriously couldn't think of a single thing to say to her. She sighed and sat down back in her desk chair.
'I'm sorry. I… don't know what I was thinking,' she apologised.
And then she started crying once again. I stood up, and went to stand in front of her. I helped her up and pulled her into a hug. I let her cry on my shoulder.
'It's OK,' I whispered gently in her ear as she wept. 'Whatever you're thinking, it's OK.'
I pushed her away gently to look her in the eye. 'I may not understand your pain, and I know that I never will. But there are people around you who are willing to help you. They're willing to help take your mind off of him.
'We could go and see the rock trolls tomorrow; we haven't been to see them in three months. I could introduce you to Will's sister, Katherine. She lost her fiancée, but apparently, she's over her now. And even though she's homosexual, she can still give you tips on how to go about your life so you don't fall into depression.'
I had always, since my relationship with Anna strengthened, told my sister to embrace homosexuals like she would embrace a heterosexual person.
I reached for a tissue from the box on Anna's desk and offered it to her. She wiped her eyes, and smiled.
'I think…' she paused.
'Yes?' I prompted.
'I'd like to meet Katherine. It'd be nice to find someone who's gone through the same pain that I have. When can we meet up?'
I smiled back. Things were starting to look up for my sister. 'I'll ask Will to ask her. I haven't really spoken to her, apart from the time five months ago, when Will introduced us. She's a nice person. Bubbly. Optimistic, like you.' I didn't say like you were before Kristoff died but I wanted to. 'You'll like her.'
'Thank you, Elsa. And I'm sorry for my outburst,' she said.
I hugged her. 'It's OK,' I smiled. 'I told you, everything will be alright.'
