I decided to set a challenge in between writing a stony fic. No idea how these songs managed to come on, but I'm impressed. Mostly because I have been listening to a lot of depressing shit recently. Anyway! Enjoy this. I promise there will be new work up soon!
a character, pairing, or fandom you like.
on your music player and put it on shuffle/random.
a drabble/ficlet related to each song that plays.
five of these, then post them.
– Jason Walker
Steve felt extremely low. He wanted someone to comfort him, tell him that this new world wasn't as bad as it seemed. He needed to move on from his past, all the things he'd lost and focus on living the rest of his life in this new age.
But it was easier said than done.
Thankfully, there was one person that was there. Tony.
As Steve stood on the roof of the Avengers Tower, Tony watched, making sure Steve didn't do any stupid. He watched as Steve shouted out at the emptiness of the night sky. He heard him scream until his lungs gave out.
When he was finished, he turned to go back inside when he saw Tony staring at him.
He apologized awkwardly, tears streaming down his face. Tony walked slowly over to him, not wanting Steve to run from him. Steve's knees gave out, causing Tony to lunge forwards and catch him in his arms.
"It's okay, Steve. I've got you. I'm going to help you"
– Daughter
Since the Avengers went their separate ways after the battle in New York, Tony and Steve had become close. They spent most of their time together, watching movies, going out to dinner, exercising in the gym, everything.
One morning Steve woke up and padded into the kitchen where he was startled to see it empty. Usually, Tony would be sitting at the breakfast bar with coffee before going to his workshop for the morning. After that, he would come back up and they would begin their day together.
Steve went to Tony's room where he began to get worried. His door was locked. Tony never locked his door. Steve knocked the door, waiting for a response. There was no reply and after a minute of thinking every horrendous thought possible, he called JARVIS.
"Where's Tony, JARVIS?"
"Master Stark doesn't want any company. He wishes to be left alone today, Captain Rogers"
Steve slumped against the door. He didn't understand. Getting back to his feet, he decided the only thing to do was kick the door down to find out why Tony wanted to be left alone; and that's what he did.
Finding Tony passed out on the bed was not what he had expected to see. Neither was the bottle of prescription pills half empty and scattered on the bed, alongside an empty bottle of whiskey.
"Tony, wake up. Tony, please!" Steve begged, trying to move his limp body.
"Please Tony, you can't leave me. I need you"
Steve called an ambulance. They took Tony to hospital, where he had his stomach pumped. They had told Steve that if he had left it any longer, the genius would not have made it.
Tony never forgot what Steve did for him. He hadn't meant to overdose but things had got too much for him to cope with. Steve saved his life and for that, he was forever in his debt. Steve never let him out of his sight again. He couldn't bare losing the only person he had ever loved.
Love – The Lumineers
"Why can't you just love me, Tony? Why is it so hard for you to love me?" Steve cried.
"Don't say that. Don't say it like I don't care about you" Tony whispered.
"I see the way you look at me. You must have some feelings?" Steve sat down on Tony's bed.
They had been arguing for nearly an hour. Steve had tried to get Tony to admit his feelings so many times but it hadn't worked. So this time he decided he would lock Tony in his room until he got it out of him. Steve knew it was a little over the top but he couldn't keep walking around the Tower like they were. He couldn't stand being so in love with the man and not knowing what he was thinking.
Tony joined him on the bed and took Steve's hands in his.
"I can't say it. I've never said it. I just can't, Steve" Tony choked out, his breath hitching.
"Please, Tony. I know I sound desperate and needy but I love you so much. I need to know what is going on in there" he stroked Tony's temple.
Tony didn't push away. He sat still, looking into Steve's eyes, holding back tears. He didn't cry, either. He never showed his true emotions. But Steve, with Steve it was like he could open up and not feel judged.
"Steve" he breathed. A beat. "I, I, - I can't" Tony got up and walked into the bathroom, locked the door behind him, leaving Steve alone in the bedroom.
Steve left, and not another word was spoken about it.
Cold – Ben Cocks
There had been a lot of talk about another attack on the city and if that happened, the Avengers would have to assemble again. Tony didn't want this to happen. He had finished rebuilding his Iron Man suit and re-enforcing Steve's, but he didn't want to fight again. He was absolutely exhausted. Luckily there hadn't been and for that, even Steve was thankful.
Steve lived in the Tower with him, so he wasn't alone, but their friendship took a turn for the weird when Steve had admitted his feelings. Tony knew he was in love with Steve, but could not bring himself to say those words. Ever since, everything in the Tower seemed cold, heavy and lonely.
One night in a drunken rage, Tony had told Steve to leave because he couldn't handle the atmosphere between them any more but Steve stood his ground, even though the pain of loving Tony had grown too much – he stuck around to care for the genius. He knew that if he left, Tony would crumble and go back to his old ways. He couldn't let that happen to him, no matter how much he hurt him.
"I'm not going to leave you, Tony. No matter how much you want me to" Steve whispered as he put Tony to bed one night after he'd passed out in his workshop with a bottle of scotch.
Clover – Joan Jett & The Blackhearts
Deciding upon a romantic meal to finish the week off, Steve set about cooking Tony's favorite foods. He loved Italian, anything sweet and anything alcoholic. Though Steve didn't like his drinking, he didn't stop him as Tony was fickle – if Steve said no, he would go right ahead and do it anyway.
Tony got home just in time. He followed the smell in from the elevator and saw Steve standing in a light blue shirt, black tight jeans and an apron, dishing up pasta and garlic bread, with a bottle of wine.
"I thought you might like something to eat after the week you've had" Steve smiled, setting the dishes down on the table that was decorated with a cute table cloth and candles.
"Smells fantastic. Thanks, Steve" Tony cleared his throat, kind of shocked that Steve would do this for him but in his gut he knew it was because Steve wanted to 'talk' to him.
He sat down at the table and Steve poured them both a glass of white wine before joining him. He lifted his glass and Tony raised his too.
"To you, Tony. For being you" Steve blushed.
"Steve, please... Not tonight" Tony whispered.
"I'm just trying to be nice. I know we hardly know each other but I have feelings for you, Tony. Why won't you let me in?" Steve questioned, then took a large gulp of wine.
Tony did the same and sighed. He stared hard into Steve's eyes and thought carefully before speaking again. He then looked down at his food. It looked brilliant, Steve had really gone to a lot of effort. But that's what Steve did. He made the effort. Tony knew he wasn't being fair but he had been hurt in the past. He couldn't let things turn to shit again. He liked Steve, loved the man, but he wasn't ready to welcome pain back into his life.
"If I let you in, I let pain in too. When you leave me, it will be just like it was with Pepper" Tony couldn't meet Steve's eyes.
Steve stood up and got on his knees beside Tony. The dark haired man turned slightly, so he was facing the larger man beneath him.
"If you let me in, the only thing you will be letting in is love. I know it sounds corny, but I love you and I want to surround you with every positive thing I have to offer. I know it won't always be sunshine and rainbows, but I won't cause you pain, Tony. I won't hurt you. I couldn't bare hurting you. I love you" Steve half smiled, his chest beating heavily as he looked into Tony's chocolate eyes.
Tony didn't feel the tear run down his cheek but when Steve wiped it away, he realized he was letting go. He realized that the man wanting to be in his life so badly was the only good thing in it.
"I'm so sorry, Steve. I'm sorry I'm such a fucking idiot" Tony poured his heart out as Steve held him in a tight embrace, still on his knees, Tony still on the dining chair. Tony sucked in a deep breath and loosened the embrace. He looked Steve in the eyes, who was looking at him with such hope.
"I love you, Steve" Tony breathed out, almost like a sigh of relief. He had done it. He had said it. Now was to be the start of something incredible, but whether Tony would be able to handle the feeling of constantly being scared Steve would leave him once he got to know every detail about him, he didn't know. But being with Steve was worth it, he thought. The man who hadn't given up on him was worth it.
