Fix You Sherlock BBc songfic Sherlock's POV
When you try your best but you don't succeed.
Sherlock had feared this ever since Moriarty got arrested, it had been too easy. He hadn't even tried to flee. Hadn't called any witnesses. Nothing, and jet he got out. Sherlock had tried to convince the jury. But Moriarty's web had got to them somehow.
When you get what you want, but not what you need.
As Moriarty shot himself, Sherlock panicked. That was what he wanted, wasn't it? But not now. Not when he needed him alive to save his friends. He had to do it, he had to jump. To leave his friends behind. Leave them believing that he was dead.
When you feel so tired but you can not sleep...
After his fall he barely lived. He didn't sleep, barely eat. He lay on the bed in the hotel room, staring at the ceiling. He was so tired, he just wanted to sleep. But the worry about his friends kept him awake. As the news about his fall had gotten out, and everybody stared to forget, he would chase down Moriarty's web. But it was too early.
Stuck in reverse...
He wondered if it was something he could have done, to stop it from happening.
And the tears come streaming down your face, when you loose something you can't replace...
The first days he cried trough. He missed his friends, John, Mrs Hudson, Lestrade. Molly... Mycroft...yes even Donovan and Anderson. He felt so bad that he had left them, specially when he had seen how bad they had taken his 'death'. He wished that he could be back with his friends again, he would do anything just to be able to talk to them, to tell them the was alive. Nothing was worse than loosing all the people you cared about.
When you love someone but it goes to waste.
He had cared about only a few people in the world. The only people he really trusted. He had stopped being the sociopathic freak that people assumed he was. He had become human, only once. But to what good? Seeing his friends being threaten, and forcing him into faking his death in order to save them.
Could it be worse?
Sometimes he wished that he had really killed himself as he jumped.
Lights will guide you home, and ignite your bones and I will try to fix you...
But as the sun rose the tenth morning after his fall, he knew what he would do. He would seek around the world after the remaining of Moriarty's network and bring it down. Then he would be enable to meet his friend again.
And high up above or down below. When you are too in love to let it go.
He travelled all around the planet, high up in the Himalayas, and down in the deep valley's in South America. One after one he tracked down and killed Moriarty's companions, getting closer and closer to home. Every night, when he was so tired that he just wanted to die, or when he got shot or stabbed and had to patch himself up, he thought about his friends and reminded himself why he did it.
But if you never try you'll never know. Just what you're worth.
He fought hard every day to survive on his own, and if he saw one from Moriarty's network, he didn't rest until he or she was dead. He wanted to get home now.
Lights will guide you home, and ignite your bones and I will try to fix you...
As he had tracked down everyone but one, Sebastian Moran, it was like he saw a light in the end of a dark tunnel, he was almost home.
Tears streams down your face, when you lose something you can not replace. Tears streams down your face and I...
He had fought hard, he had cried, and he had almost given up sometimes. But the thought of his friends back home kept him running.
Tears stream down your face, I promise you I'll learn from my mistakes. Tears stream down your face and I...
As he saw Moran in the sight of his sniper he knew that he was going to come home soon. Sebastian Moran had been hard to kill. He had failed many times. But as he squeezed the the trigger he knew he was going home. This time he would succeed.
Lights will guide you home and ignite your bones, and I will try...
As he stood outside 221b he felt exited, he was finally going to met John and Lestrade, Mrs Hudson... Mycroft, and Molly. After one year. He knocked at the door, and as he heard John getting down the stairs inside he felt the tears starting to stream from his eyes, finally...
John opened the door, and stared in shock and surprise. "Sherlock..?"
...to fix you.
Fix You Sherlock BBc songfic John's POV
When you try your best, but you don't succeed.
He knew immediately that something was wrong as he ran into 221b, Mrs Hudson was fine. Oh...he had been so stupid. He should have know that something was wrong as he got the phone call. Why would they want him to go to the flat? If Mrs Hudson was dying she would be going to hospital. He would have known it when Sherlock refused to come with him, he knew that Sherlock cared about Mrs Hudson, he knew that.
He had rushed back to St Bart's as fast as he could. But he was too slow, as he arrived Sherlock already where on the roof. First he didn't understand why...no he didn't want to understand. As Sherlock said it, as he said 'Goodbye John', and stepped of the roof it felt like John fell with him.
When you get what you want, but not what you need.
They had found a recording on the roof, it explained everything. He knew why Sherlock had done it, to save his friends. But it only did it worse. Sherlock was a hero again, Sherlock had said that heroes didn't exist, but it was wrong. Sherlock was a hero. He was proved not to be a fraud, it was great. But John only hoped that he would wake up and everything was a sick dream.
When you feels so tired, but you can not sleep...
He couldn't sleep, every night he was woken up by nightmares. He saw Sherlock jump every night, saw him die, and he couldn't get to him.
Stuck in reverse...
He wondered what had happened if he hadn't left Sherlock. If he would still be alive...
And the tears come streaming down your face, when you loose something that you can't replace...
He had lost his flatmate, his friend...best friend, his brother. The best man he had ever known, and the greatest.
When you love someone but it goes to waste...
He had loved Sherlock, as a friend. A great friend, that he would die for, and who he knew would do the same...had done the same for him...
Could it be worse?
Sometimes he really did want to die, but he couldn't let Sherlock's death to be wasted.
Lights will guide you home and ignite your bones and I will try to fix you.
After a few months it got better, he helped Lestrade with cases. He and Mycroft had started to search after Moriarty's network.
And high up above or down below. When you are too in love to let it go.
The sorrow stuck him in waves, some days he barely could get up from bed. Other days he and Lestrade was at the pub and they laughed just like before Sherlock's fall.
But if you never try you'll never know. Just what you're worth.
He tried to move on, he did. He didn't think that Sherlock would want him to be sad, no he knew it. Sherlock would want him to move on. To solve cases, learn how to see and observe, to deduce.
Lights will guide you home, and ignite your bones and I will try to fix you...
He and Mycroft had found something, at last. They knew where one of Moriarty's assassins were hiding. Other times when they had found someone from the network, the person had vanished. As if someone had swept him from the bottom of earth. But this time maybe...
Tears stream down your face, when you loose something you can not replace. Tears stream down your face and I...
It was his birthday today, he would have been 35 if he had lived, John stayed in the flat the whole day. Molly dropped by, and Mycroft. They drank some tea and then they left. John barely talk to them anyway. He was missing Sherlock more than ever before...
Tears stream down your face, I promise you I'll learn from my mistakes. Tears stream down your face and I...
Today he was at Sherlock's grave again. "Please Sherlock...if. If you come back, I would do anything. I wish I could turn back time and stop you...I miss you, so much. You were a hero Sherlock, and a great man. A good man...better than I will ever be..."
Lights will guide you home, and ignite your bones and I will try...
He was making tea when it knocked on the door down stairs, Mrs Hudson was at her sister so he got down the stairs to open the door. It was a years since Sherlock had jumped now, two days ago Mycroft's men had found Sebastian Moran dead in Russia, Moran had been Moriarty's closest man. It was good. Maybe they would be able to bring down Moriarty's network now.
He opened the door, when he saw the man outside he almost had a heart attack. It was Sherlock, but it couldn't...it couldn't be. It was impossible. He was dead. But how could he be, if he was here..."When you have ruled out the impossible whatever remains, however improbable must be the truth" He remembered Sherlock saying those words. Sherlock looked at him, tears streaming down his face. "Sherlock..?" he gasped, Sherlock smiled. "Hello John..."
...to fix you.