Discaimer: I don't own any of these characters except Kai and Layla. They are my own creations. The rest belong to the luckiest person alive (or not) I'm not sure weather she's still in love. But anyway. Enjoy.

There comes a time in ones life when it hits you: the greatest pain is sometimes inflicted with the best of intentions.

Kai

^*^Flashback^*^

"Are you going, Father?" I asked, cold as ice.

"Will you stop me, Sesshoumaru?" my father asked, almost gently. There was a tone in his voice I could not identify.

"I will not," I replied without hesitation, "but before you take your leave, I request that you bequeath the swords Sou'unga and Tetsusaiga to me."

"And if I refuse?" said Inutaisho, as if reading his mind. "Would you kill me for them, your own father?"

I said nothing. He knew I would. But why was he refusing me?

"Why do you desire power?" Inutaisho asked finally.

Power is the least of my concerns at this moment. I thought, but said nothing of it.

"My path is that of a conqueror," I said flatly. "Power is the sole means by which that path can be opened and tread."

I lied. What was he up to?

"Conquest?" echoed my father.

I remained silent. I had no reason to repeat myself.

"Sesshoumaru," Inutaisho continued after a pause, "do you have something to protect?"

Something to protect? Why would he ask me that? He knew I had something to protect! The very thing he, himself, now needed to die for.

."Something to protect?" I repeated, disbelieving and half-hoping I had not heard correctly. Had my own father gone mad?.

"I have no need of such a thing." I was consumed by an anger I could not place. How dare he test me? So I lied…

He lowered his head, and before I could realize what had happened, he was gone, and then it hit me. He had denied me, and there was nothing I could do about it. A fear such as that had never before, nor after, gripped me.

By the time I got back it was too late. I watched as Kagewaki drove the sword deep into his chest. My heart froze, the life drained from me. It was over, everything was over…

Kagewaki turned and left, I let him go, I could not touch him without the sword.

I kneeled by his side. He reached up to me with a bloodied hand. His eyes were dull with his impending death. I felt a tear sting my eye. This can't be happening. There is no way that he can die now!

I looked down into his golden eyes, knowing that there was nothing I could do to save him. He was mine to protect! And I failed him… I failed myself.

"Kai…" He put his finger on my lips and smiled.

"Father. Let it go. There are some things in life for which nothing can be done… Aishiteru" His voice trailed off as his life left him…

I let his body drop slowly, then I came to my feet, my fists balled and my eyes clenched in rage and sorrow. I screamed, a scream that pierced the hearts of all who heard it, a declaration of both my failure and my defeat.

"Sesshomaru!" Layla, his mother, came running to me, crying.

She wrapped her arms around me and I held her. Together we stood there, in the blood stained snow, the body of our only son at our feet.

My youki pulsed. I knew then that my brother had entered this world, just as my son had left it. I stepped back from Layla and removed the medallion baring my family crest from my neck and placed it on hers. Her eyes were filled with sorrow and dread.

"Stay here, you're safe now." I said to her as I sped off in the direction in which my father had gone.

I watched both my son and my father die that night…

^*^End Flashback^*^

I don't understand much of what I did after that day. I don't know why I fight my brother. I do not need the sword anymore, and yet I still bother with him. I never told anyone of what happened that night. It would kill me to talk about.

I do not know why I still patrol the lands. I have no need to.

I do not even understand why I saved that little girl. Maybe Rin's smile reminded me of Kai. I know Inuyasha reminds of him. Everyday, every time I see him I am reminded of the night he was born. The night my father ultimately betrayed me.

"Are you gonna fight me or not!?" InuYasha shouts at me from across the field. My hand was on my sword. I shook my head slightly. As I turned to leave I said one word, the only word I needed to say for Totosai to understand. He was the only other person, besides me and Layla, who knew what happened that night. It was time that InuYasha knew why I would never bring myself to accept him. Simply because my crest and my family and my throne, meant nothing to me now. Nothing would ever mean anything again. InuYasha was ready to face life and danger without my training/pestering him.

So I said it. "Addolorata."

I heard Totosai gasp, but I didn't care to look back. I didn't care much to come back either…

A/N: So what ya think? I know it's kinda blunt and such but yeah. Addolorata is Spanish for sorrow. To Sesshomaru it's kinda a declaration of his defeat. It's just my idea of how it worked. Hope you like it hey.

Oh yeah and Layla is his kinda mate. She's a dog demon nobleman's daughter who Sessh fell for when he was younger. So they are still together, but they're both kinda mysterious and quiet.